Being more outspoken.
Well, not paying attention to my critics, and feedback I get from certain types who don't have anything to do with what I am interested, or doing. Also, finding positive energy in things other than people.. Most people I've met in real life are very draining and negative. I prefer to find positive energy when I do things by myself.
I avoid as much as possible use of the car. And when we make races, we gather in the district enters, parents, friends and neighbors to avoid burning the fuel unnecessarily. It is more ecological and in more that resolder relations, bonds which not always with the good shape!!!
Yes the economy sucks, but in my opinion its only because of the hiring freeze and inadequate/nonexistent health care for our fellow citizens. If you feel you're being targeted for being wealthy (500K ), you are, and congratulations you're successful and make shitload of money, but you're self indulgence will suffocate you if you don't see the truth. Is your worth and work ethic any less than a FDNY EMT starting at 31K? Or a sous chef working 60 hours a week for less than minimum wage with no health insurance???!!! We really need to step back and see how greedy and self indulgent we've become and almost take this economic struggle as an awakening. I have personally seen families struggle with our current state of affairs, but wake the fuck up people we desperately need health care reform! I feel like the same people that are against health care reform are the very people that need it the most. There aren't that many wealthy Americans, the majority are middle class across the board. We're not talking about lazy scheming people who want to work the government, these are hard working Americans, your neighbors, who feel into hard times. Can we unite like we seem to do in every other crisis? Because this is crisis mode for families who are stricken with the uncertainity of the future of their children, spouses/partners! Also while I'm here, fuck you Maine, way to take a step back??!!!
It has been a while that I have started to stop worrying about what people think ... that happened because I noticed that what they thought about me at times was absolutely unbelievable ... sometimes disgusting. I think that there is nothing more disgusting and dirty than the mind of a person who preconceives evil imaginations which refer to a suffering saint even to a tramp! That is why I think Jesus only cared about clening the cup inside, the cup from where come our words and thoughts should be constantly cleansed so we can go onto good works.
So I had already decied to think well of people, then I had to program myself not to care for those who not did the same!!!!
Пожалуй, тем, что смог таки перестать работать за деньги и только за деньги, а начать прежде всего за удовольствие и драйв ;-) Перегрыз пуповину, оторвался от "сиськи" "кормящей организации" (очень ХОРОШО КОРМЯЩЕЙ)... а вдруг оказывается - жизнь только начинается! Интересно! Свой бизнес, победы и неудачи... Но - никакой потребности соблюдать какую-то субординацию, слушать чушь и не иметь возможности возразить, никакой необходимости работать с тем или на того, кто тебе по тем или иным причинам неприятен... Можно делать то, во что веришь сам!
I beat depression, without medication.
Or to be more precise, I've greatly increased the quality of my life which before was consumed by depression. The trick?
There is no "trick," really. There are dozens or hundreds of little things I do on a daily basis to keep the depression at bay, to stay just outside the Schwarzchild radius of that black hole. I listen to music. I talk to my friends, my family, and everyone else. I get out of bed and stop feeling sorry for myself. I chose a job that requires at least pretending to be happy, which science has shown actually can help you to be happy. Smiling raises your mood, even if you have nothing to smile about. I do things that make me feel needed, that make me feel like a valuable individual who would be missed if I died.
But if I had to pick one thing that has helped me more than anything else, it's movement. In the depths of my most depressed times, I would sleep literally all day. I would get up to go to the bathroom, to eat, and then I would go back to sleep. I saw my life as just such a failure, saw myself as such an inept, terrible, unlovable human being, that I was convinced that the best thing I could do for the world was to exit it. It didn't make sense, since I also hated everything and everyone, but really nothing makes sense when you're depressed. Everything is pointless, everyone is selfish and stupid and yet they seem to do everything better than you.
I would drink. I would smoke weed. I would smoke cigarette after cigarette hoping I got cancer, since I didn't have the balls to kill myself. I would cross streets without looking, hoping a car would hit me and end it all, or at least give me a real excuse for not going to work or school that day. I missed a ton of school, lost several jobs, and just generally was fucking up everything. I'd stay home because I couldn't stop crying, and you can't be outside and crying.
But the thing is, when everything seems terrible and your life seems like a waste, you can either do nothing or do something. Finally, I started to realize that doing nothing wasn't working, so I should try doing something (it seems so simple now...). I took walks, I ran, I biked, I listened to music, and I wrote. I found songs that expressed what I was feeling in more eloquent language than I had. All of these things felt pointless at the time, but anything was better than lying in bed thinking "I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself so much." And slowly, very slowly, I got better.
Really that's all there is to it. Move. Get the fuck out of bed and go do *something*, *anything* (other than kill yourself or hurt others). When you're depressed, it feels like you're at the bottom of a well unable to climb out, and people are shouting down to you that all you have to do is climb. Or worse, you feel like no one is shouting down the well, no one cares, and in fact it'd be better if you stayed there because you deserve to suffer for all your sins. But you have to recognize that this is NOT TRUE. There is NOTHING keeping you from getting out of bed and walking around the block (apologies to any quadriplegics reading this, but you know what I'm saying). There is only your mind telling you this. It doesn't matter if you're less fashionable, fatter, stupider, meaner than everyone else... fuck all that. The only way to change is to ...well, to change! Sorry, but as idiotic as that sounds, it's the truth.
I didn't use to like dancing, since I felt fat and uncoordinated and like everyone was laughing at me. Which was true. But the only way to get good at dancing is to dance. So I danced. First alone, then when I started going to parties again, and now people complement me on my body all the time.
It's the same as if you can't read well. If you're bad at it, you don't want to do it, because when you try people snicker and feel sorry for you. But the only way to get good at it is to do it, so just fucking do it. And lo and behold, a year later, you can read much better than you used to. I'm oversimplifying, but that's the basic idea. Everything I know how to do well is something I've done a lot. Everything I don't know how to do well is something I have less experience with.
Battling depression has been a life-long thing for me. I tried Prozac (it took away my orgasms, which were about the only good thing in my life at that point). I tried Wellbutrin, which helped a LOT, but then I couldn't afford it anymore. I could afford to dance.
But the big thing that changed was that I stopped beating myself up for everything I've fucked up in the past. I forgave myself for having an abortion, for everything I've stolen, for every time I've lied or hurt someone. It's in the past, and you can try to make amends, but the only thing that helps now is to change the behaviors that led to those painful times so they don't happen over and over and over again. Because that's insanity right there, which is one of my worst fears.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that the biggest change in my life has been to stop allowing myself to wallow in misery, and start seeking out people and sunlight and music and life. It may be pointless, but it's all we've got.
i am just change my live to learn the english language its importent to me to became had a better live in next future,i am stay in internet bacause i want change my ability,my skill,my live and else to try live in better than right now,why? because i am to be the grow up and got more income.I proud if i am got much more fund i am want to buy computer and internet to my self because in here now i am used the rental public internet.
There are many changes that happen in one person's life. Changes. Changes can alter your personality completely or can change people around you. I am proud of how I’ve changed since high school. I can care less what people think about me. I used to be obsessed with my looks and popularity. I should put some before and after pictures up. Heh. I am really into my art. Before I would be like, "Ew they are going to think I'm weird." But truth is, I've always been really weird and different. But I always tried to cover it up. It never worked. So I just needed to be myself. I love it. I feel free. It's nice. It really is. Fuck everyone. I hate self-image. I hate everything about it. I changed. I deleted my myspace because I was OBBSESSED with it. I wanted to have the most picture comments, and comments, and friends! I had about 2,500 friends. It was crazy. I didn't even know the people. I wanted to be a cool kid, but now I don't go out looking to meet people like a lot of teenagers do. I let people come to me. It's a better feeling. I have confidence. I don't think too highly of myself but I don't think poorly of myself either. I have the right amount of confidence and people respect me. I'm nice to everyone now. I don't have a lot of friends, but I don't need to have 4203939403 friends. I'm fine with a few. Nobody is really mean to me. I feel that if I'm nice to people, maybe they will be nice back; and for the most part, people are really nice to me. I love it. I'm open to anything now. I want to be adventurous and be open to a lot of things. It's better that way. I don't live in a box anymore. I don't allow myself to. It's horrible that way. I try to help people. I want to see the good in people. I want to be a good person now. I used to want to be a Queen Bitch. I feel that’s not a way to live. I love how I live now, and I think that living this way has matured me. I accept most challenges, and I understand what is given to me whether it’s a gift or a reaction. I wish that people wouldn’t be as small minded but they can’t help it. I just wish that I could help.
I have made many changes in my life. My whole life I was told that I failed everyone and everything. So over time I deceided to just relax and be me. I speak my mind, yet I want to be peaceful natured also. I have been stressed and uptite all my life, no more I have to be able to relax and be happy. SO I do and I am. I have traded smoking for yoga. If I am heather, my girls will learn to be heathler and exercise. If I lighten up so will they.