Writer's Block

Instant attraction

Do you think romantic chemistry is instant or evolving? Have you ever given someone a second (or third) chance and lived to regret it? Have you ever fallen in love with someone you didn't particularly like or desire at first?

Answers (471)

  • Увы! Несколько раз запаздывал с любовью. Однако нашёл, прожил с нею 18 лет.... Болезнь со смертельным исходом прервала нашу связь.
    А романтическая связь... Не простой ли это блуд? Особенно, КОГДА ЗА СОРОК. Это часто переходит в насилие и, ещё хуже, в преступление.

  • Stole this question from Kristen haha..

    Do you think romantic chemistry is instant or evolving?
    I believe it's evolving. In order for there to be any sort of chemistry, there needs to be time. If you don't know enough about a person, there can't be chemistry.

    Have you ever given someone a second (or third) chance and lived to regret it?
    I have. I'd rather not talk about what happened exactly as it's VERY personal and really only the other person involved and one of my closest friends know.

    Have you ever fallen in love with someone you didn't particularly like or desire at first?
    I've only loved one person, and I definitely started out by liking him. At the time he was with someone else, but I ended up 'with' him anyway. (: Still am. ♥
  • Чувство романтического очарования происходит мгновенно, всё что позже по другому называется, а эволюционируют уже какие-то отношения. Второй или третий шанс, это принятое решение. Зачем жалеть, просто надо опять принять решение, например больше не давать шансов. Влюбиться в кого-то уже знакомого раньше, это и есть эволюция отношений, дружеских или партнёрских, да каких угодно. Нет невозможного, все мы человеки)))
  • Romantic chemistry? Both instant and evolving. For my parents it was love at first sight...but I believe that some love takes time. I have given one person a second chance; and you know, some scars never heal. Some scars get infected, and you find HIM with you always... Oh, I never looked twice at him. Ever. Now, when I close my eyes, he's all I ever see. Like I said, some love takes time. Months of time.
  • I think that romantic chemistry is evolving. I have actually fallen in love with someone that I didn't desire at first, and then found that after I got to know them more that I had the desire to be with them. I have actually given someone a second chance and then a third chance, but I regret doing it now. Looking back upon those times I realise that it was a waste of my time, and because of them I lost some really good opportunities in my life.
  • When pondering love, I believe every love is both evolving and instant, yet perhaps not simultaneously or with the same vicissitudes. Love happens. No matter how often or when or against rules. Love may be there at first or maybe it is instead camouflaged. It can be ignored, discarded or embraced. For me, I've been in love many different times and those times I always saw love there from the very start. At first I might have ignored my feelings because feeling so was "forbidden" by societal ethics. Or maybe I was scared to embrace it because I was scared of falling too fast, deeply or quickly... maybe loosing balance and to teetering off the cliff of heartache. I've personally never been in a situation where two people hate each other and eventually start to develop love instead, but I've seen it happen. Perhaps that is an instance where love has been camouflaged for so long but is finally seen. Love is the buried treasure of the heart - it's always there to open but is discovered in one's beautiful life at different moments... or with different, amazing people!
  • Well the thing is right now i'm actually sort of giving someone a 3rd chance. but as I sit here and think about it I'm thinkin that he doesn't deserve the chance again, he's hurt me one too many times and I dont think my heart can handle another let down from him. Ive def. falllen in love with someone that at first i didnt like but i grew to know him and he was a great guy. The only thing that went wrong was that he went behind my back and started talkin to my "best friend" I then lost him as a boyfriend and lost my best friend. but its all good (: Im in great shape and love my life the way it is. Ive learned from mistakes and im movin' on(:
  • I think there's certainly such a thing as that "zing" you feel when you meet someone you have the hots for ))). But, if you are me, it's not to be trusted. If I follow that zing, too often I end up in a relationship of the same old scripts and issues. I told my counselor once that I could be in a gym full of people, and I could pick out the one person with whom to have a messed-up relationship. But I went too far the other way. I got involved with people whom I was not attracted to in any kind of physical way (especially back when I was with men), and gave them all kinds of chances in hopes that "the feelings will just come". I didn't trust instant zing, so I waited for something to evolve. This question strikes a nerve, because when I met G., I was very religious and believed that having "zing" feelings led to one sin or another. I firmly believed that when I met the partner that G_d had set aside for me, that those feelings would be in check until we married and then pow! Instant satisfaction. My sexuality would turn on as if throwing a switch. There's nothing wrong with G., but when I met him there was no physical attraction. I liked his mind (he was very intelligent), but he was very firmly in the friend column. Now I know that for a variety of reasons, both of us ignored that lack of romantic chemistry and thought we could make it work. A romance never developed, even though we obviously became parents, and eventually I was forced to face the reasons why. So to finally answer the question, yeah, of course there's instant attraction but while it's fun, it's often a big flapping red flag for me. I think attraction that grows slowly out of getting to know someone's mind and spirit is more lasting and satisfying. I think that's why I've never had a great relationship with someone I jumped into bed with too quickly. There just wasn't enough connection outside of sex, and it's hard to go back and "re-do" a relationship. That said, there's such a thing as waiting too long for chemistry to develop, and making a lot of excuses to yourself why the physical side of the relationship sucks. I did that, more than once. There has to be some kind of difference between instant and someone who's destined for the friend pile. I'm not sure I'm making sense. I also made the mistake-more than once-of "He's so nice, why can't I love him?" or "He's great, why am I not attracted?" Well, yeah, I'm not even straight, but I think this happens to everyone. There's often no good reason why we fall for someone-or not. gui, as usual, getting the wrong feelings for the wrong person at the wrong time in the wrong damn place...
  • I think its instant. I've never given anyone a second or third chance unless I had already been in a romantic relationship for quite some time, it wasnt a chance to get me aroused either. I have never fallen in love with anyone I didnt like at first because I never get close enough to those people to find out.
  • I think romantic chemistry can be both instant and evolving... it's different for everyone.. sometimes its just instant and sometimes its evolving. No I have never given someone a second or third chance so can't say I've lived to regret it. As for last question... Yes I have fallen in love with someone that I didnt particularly like at first well better words than what is in question would be is I wasn't instantly attracted to or love/like/attracted/interested at first site. I didn't desire them at first either. It took a few yrs but when I saw them in a different light or that switch went off or however saying goes I fell in love with them over time more and more. But I been trying to not think about um cuz I know I will only get my heart broken probably for whatever reason. And things promised and words spoken were just that words. Life isn't kind to me so I hope for the best but ya know assume the worst cuz usally thats what happens.
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