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Opposites attract (sometimes)

In general, do you find yourself more attracted to people with similar or different interests, life experiences, political beliefs, and religious backgrounds? Do you think having some common interests/goals is essential for a successful relationship?

Answers (256)

  • I'm assuming this question pertains to just friends as well, so that's the context that I'll answer it in. For friends, I usually gravitate towards those with somewhat similar interests as me. If they have nothing similar to me, then I really am unable to hold a long conversation with them. Their backgrounds and experiences don't really make much of a difference, I find. Although, it is rather interesting to debate with someone over political views and other sorts of views concerning society as a whole.
  • In general, I think that humans can be attracted to not only someone with similar interests but also someone who is a complete opposite. I think over time once we learn who we truely are we soon develop ways on finding what attracts us to others. For some it might be by having an attraction to someone who comes from a certain background, race or religion. But we can also be attracted to someone who is into a certain music genre, movie genre or even dressing style. Some people care also completely attracted to someone totally opposite because to them there is some attraction to the unknown. Unknown as in not knowing what that persons real beliefs are and even if they were to know that the opinon they have is wrong they are still drawn to that factor of being different. I was attracted to my boyfriend because hes totally different from what I have ever dated. His music, art and even passion for life is totally different than mine but thats what really attracts me to him. He's not only different but hes real. Hes himself and no one else. Hes not some toy off the manufacturing belt but hes a hand-crafted toy that I specifically picked out to be mine. He's wonderful and anyone can be like that with another person as long as they are comfortable with themselves and others. Most people ugly and crude infront of others but to one person they can be their true selves. Most people are a certain way because of situations that they go through in life. Most learn to adapt or change them while others don't understand them at all. When two opposites meet it could be a very good thing or a very bad. That is left to destiny and fate to determine.I personally think that having both simliarities and differences make a relationship work. If everything were agreed upon it would seem to get boring. With small, healthy arguements everything can get better once opinons are put forth and both parties know that this world is based on opinons, not wrong and rights.
  • Well ... friends generally need to have similar interests and beliefs for friendships to work, and I can't see myself loving anybody unless I was already friends with them, so... *shrugs* Yeah. I think that common interests and goals are definitely important for a successful relationship -- what happens if one person wants to become a business tycoon and earn loads of money, and has no interest in a family, but the other wants five kids and a dog? Or if one wants to move to, say, Canada when the other wants to live in Central London? I think it all really comes down to friendship, really. Love's alright and everything, but there has to also be a friendship there for the relationship to work. They always say to never date your best friend as the friendship would be ruined if you broke up (I don't personally believe in this as, if you were truly friends, you'd stick by them no matter what -- I'm still friends with people that have asked me out or vice versa, and there've been no repercussions because we were friends in the first place) but, really, your best friend is ideally the person you'd want to live your life with. If I didn't find The One (not that I entirely believe in that, but whatever), then I'd be totally happy living with my best friend. In fact, and I have already made plans for when we grow up, which involves living together in a ground-floor flat in Cardiff with goldfish and a dog. :-D It seems to me that people have vast potential. Most people can do extraordinary things if they have the confidence or take the risks. Yet most people don't. They sit in front of the telly and treat life as if it goes on forever. Philip Adams
  • i find myself attracted more to people with similar interests. I like guys with a sense of humour and guys that are well mannered and that are strong physically and emotionally. I am dating someone right now who doesn't have strength emotionally and I am finding it difficult to work with him. I think that it is important for us to have common interests and goals because then you have a common purpose to work towards.
  • i find that it is easier to be attracted to people when we there are similarities. i mean, i find it hard to get along with someone when we have nothing in common, unless i or the other person takes the effort to find out what we each have in common and to try it out.. which ends up making both people having something in common... although there is the saying opposites attracts but... whether the relationship survives, depends on how much the individual can except and respect i guess... but that's just my take on this...
  • I've been all over the board in that respect. I've been with a person who I grew so closely with that our beliefs and goals mirrored eachother...and I've been with a person that is completely opposite me for the most part (mildly chauvanistic, Republican, Mormon, bisexual. He's an interesting one...). I think I tend to be drawn to people for their charisma rather than their "compatibility". Plus, I much prefer to share ideas all across the board of political and religious beliefs rather than tie myself down to any one particular denomination. I suppose this makes me a lot more flexible, because morals are hardly right or wrong, black or white, and so I really can't outright refute any one until I explore it more, and being with a person with that background can only help me understand them better. As for interests and goals, I think you definitely need to enjoy doing things together to even start to grow close to a person. Everyone I've ever been with has been a gamer, reader, writer, enjoyed anime (to an extent!), and has had some attraction to one type of hallucinogen or another. And goals, well...they aren't so important in the beginning of a relationship. I believe people should definitely get together with someone with the idea that they will most likely have to end up bending their goals to include that other person if things get to that point, or you have no business getting involved with a relationship at all. Anyone who thinks they can just continue on down their path with a partner that has no choice but to be dragged along is selfish to me, and that's not a healthy relationship to be in. If you develope that...spark with another person, it won't even feel like giving something up; it will be cherishing someone so much that you would gladly spend your life with them.
  • As a free-thinker, I tend to gravitate towards other free-thinkers, regardless of their stance on various subjects. I sympathize more with characters who are civil, though...obnoxious free-thinkers are, well, obnoxious.
  • Hmmm, I tend to like people who have somewhat similar interests.... but all that stuff really doesn't matter~ I like a person who can keep up with me and doesn't get boring, a person I like shouldn't be like a napkin, I use it up then throw it out. Also I like someone who is on the same page as me most of the time, which is why I guess I like similar interest in someone I like, obviously I don't expect everything to be the same, well because that's just not going to happen, or work out, because it'd get boring. I do think maybe having a few things in common is necessary so you can go out and enjoy doing things you both like to do together, but obviously people are going to like doing different things and it is nice to go and do what you enjoy by yourself, or just with friends, sometimes people need to get away from there partner.
  • I'd find myself more attracted to people with different interests. (But as long as it's nothing major. I mean, religious backgrounds is kind of stretching it, because you can't learn you're partner's religion overnight.) Buuuut, to have common interests is essential in a relationship, because you don't want to be debating over things all the time. Having the same interest gives you a feeling of closeness.
  • This was posted on my amazing institutionalization day... And as I learned while I was spending some time hallucinating my ass off in Cedar Springs Hospital, anyone with mental issues is magnetically attracted to me. And you know what? I've been up for 29 hours straight. And another 36 before that. I'm not really authorized to make intelligent posts. I should finish this on a later date. Like when I have more sleep. And can think in a straight line.
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