I had someone very close to me that was struggling with an opiate addiction. This person had gone through some personal tragedies and struggling with depression, started self medicating. I thought that since this person was in the medical field, should have known better. I sought the help of a drug conselor on their behalf and learned that anyone is capable of falling to an addiction. We arranged a small intervention for the person and it worked. To this day the person has remained drug free.
My brother and sister both have addictions to drugs. my brother is always smoking weed and he always tells me he's going to quit but he never does and it hurts me so bad because i look up to him and so does my daughter and i can't let him around his own niece cause of his usage. my sister is so addicted to cocaine and it hurts me so bad cause she's always doing something for her next fix and i never know if she's ok when she's gone cause she leaves for days at a time and she's brought it around my lil girl and my daughter almost ate the cocaine cause my sister was to high to put it somewhere the lil one wouldn't get to it
My own brother has been struggling with drug's for about 6 years now, It hurt's me so much i miss my big brother who he was before it all. And this voice deep inside of me tells me he's never going to change, he's went to far, I've seen it all that's why I know whats going to really happen, its the worst thing...I just can't be the same with him anymore, he's not the same person, i feel like hes not my brother and its horrible how i feel twords him, but that's just the way it is, as much as we all try helping him from years ago til now, I said it before and I will always from my experience if somebody wants to really stop they will but if they don't then no matter what loved ones do, the person will be the same. I wish he was the same as before 6 years ago I wish he stopped but its only a shor ttime till he relapes, I try not to think about it cause its pointless sad to say, but I say to my self i gave up on him but I dont .....i love him no matter wht, i still see my brother in him before he did all those drugs...
Yeah and it sucked.
My good friend had stopped doing drugs yearrrrsssss ago till two years ago, some idiot "friend" got him to try cocaine. How did idiot friend get her hands on the coke? No clue. Anyways, my good friend did it then moved on to drinking hard core. His favorite drinks? Yeager bombs all the way. He would go out, drink in his car then go into the club and drink all night. In all actuality, all the excess was a cover up to what was hurting him inside: being dateless and rejected by a pretty boy who used him. Anyways, good friend just so happened to get in a minor, solo, fender bender but was okay and didn't get caught. That night was his wake up call.
He then, for some odd reason, moved on to weed, and it went from being a weekend thing to a daily thing. He had other friends that liked to smoke it. If he couldn't get his hands on weed, he would sell things like his $300 something iPod Touch for money for ciggys and pot. Or he would opt for taking valium or percaset or take his sister's sleeping pills. Anything to catch that high...even cough syrup did the trick too. He took X, he ate shrooms, he was so shroomed up that he and his friend went out for a walk and got lost and didn't know where they were.
One fateful night, he went out to a bar, drank, then returned to his car to sleep. He left it running to keep warm and someone had called the cops...seven showed up and arrested him and they found the pot. He lost his license for an entire year.
I know several ppl who have struggled, and still are struggling, with addiction. Addiction is the hardest thing I ever had to deal with, so far, anyway. It took me a while to get over my addiction, and I believe that it is something that I, and anyone who has, or ever will have, an addiction will always have to fight. The fight gets a little easier as you grow in your recovery, but it will still always be difficult. It takes hard work and support, lots of support. Two of my exboyfriends are my exes because of our addictions. Addiction turns u into another person all together. U are not u anymore, u're the addicted u, and they are two different ppl. Idk about everyone, but when I was taking pain pills I was a grouchy person. With both of those relationships, we both used, and that made it doubly hard. We fought when we were sick from lack of pills, we fought if there wasn't enough money to pay what needed to be paid, and to buy enough pills for both of us. Basically, it was always a fight over pills until we broke up. I finally got strong enough to break down and ask for help ( I know that sounds crazy "strong enuf to break down). The hardest part of dealing with an addiction is admitting you have one and asking for help. I am so glad I did!!! I am such a better person. I have held a job since 2 weeks after I quit. I almost like myself again because I am working on fixing the things about me that changed into the "addicted me" and turning them back into the 'real me.' My family and friends also see the change for the better and are proud of me and that makes me a happier person by itself. Fixing what my family sees me as is one of the most important things to me right now. I have to thank God most of all for giving me the strength to do it. I will never judge a person for an addiction again, I know how it takes control of your life like a demon and won't let go. I pray that every addicted person in this world gets the help they need because I can't imagine one addict who likes to be an addict.
I decided to blog on this "writter's block," because I know exactly what its like living in a family where "addiction" or "drug addicts" or "alcoholics" is used like its nothing. I also know that it has destroyed my family in every way possible. I can honestly say now that I don't have family...My family that I used to love and care about doesn't want anything to do with me, or I'm not allowed to be around them.
Everything in your life changes when nothing will ever be "quite right." Alcohol killed two of my uncles, and I'm watching it slowly kill the rest of my family. Drugs are a big issue in my family also, not only is all my aunts and uncles convicted felons for drug abuse, but much of my other family is too.
My family's addiction has destroyed my family and it hurts inside and I wish they really knew what it was doing too them...And I just have to sit there helplessly watching them destroy their lives and their family. It's horrible and something I wouldn't wish on anyone.
I think that the worst thing about knowing someone who has been through something as powerful as an addiction is that you will never know what is exactly going on in their world unless youve been through it yourself, so my word to the wise may is to consider that fact before ever judging anyone or thinking negatively towards that persons character because its really not fair. I have friends, family, and i have even been lucky enough myself to experience the rock bottom and knowing the feeling of my entire life force being sucked out of me by some chemical that can cripple the strongest of men. just remember its not a character fault to be addicted. please because it is one of the hardest problems the human condition is offered.
What I know about PCP.
I don't know why I'm answering this question. I haven't checked up on this blog in a really long time due to a lot of things going on in my life. I get so busy sometimes, and I really wish i could write more, because in reality I actually have a lot of things to say.
Well anyway, to answer this question posed by livejournal and the one and only MTV, I DO know someone who has struggled with addiction in a very peculiar way. This summer, when I went home to NY for college, I started hanging around the guy I was dating there and his cousin Billy. Whenever I'm home, i do a lot of drugs, primarily pot, but this summer things got a little different. I started smoking PCP a lot. Like every day a lot. I know a lot of you reading this think it's really bad, but the truth is the drug isn't as awful as everyone makes it out to be, IN MODERATION. I feel that some of the most spiritual experiences I've ever had were the result of PCP. It effects everyone differently, so you may not feel this if you try it, but everything suddenly collided into one. Yes and No suddenly meant the same thing, and what was so weird about it was I could explain why they were the same. This was especially true for the concepts of good and evil. I figured out there really is no such thing as good and evil, there's only motivation, which is propelled by some need inside. And for everything we label "bad" there's something good, and vise versa. Whatever. My understanding of time was also askew. 5 minutes felt like 2 hours, it was so weird. I felt like I was sinking, my body turned into water, I could feel the sofa i was lying on, the carpet underneath it. I slipped down through the vent and could hear Billy playing his guitar downstairs, i was closer than i could have been in real life. It confused me though, because I was still in my same place on the couch, unable to get up or move, but the world was more alive and real than it ever had been. When I finally got up, my legs were carrying me along, but I couldn't connect them to my brian; I felt like I was floating. My boyfriend got super strong, he could pick me up and twirl me around in one hand above his head. It scared me a little bit because his motor skills were clearly impaired, and he could have dropped me, but he didn't. I don't know why I'm rambling on this subject, as it's unimportant.
I don't feel that i was every physically addicted to this drug, but my mind started to crave it, crave the way it transformed the world. Even though I never went searching for it, I could never say no when it presented itself to me. Right now, talking about it, I feel the impulse to pick up a black bag and burn it down with some weed. It'd be lovely.
Anyway, my friend Billy, Ernie's cousin, started to do it more than just everyday. Honestly, I don't exactly know how often he smoked the stuff, but it soon became apparent he had a serious problem. He would find any excuse to do it, and he would beg and beg and beg until you agreed, and it was hard to say no anyway. He started talking about the strangest things, believing he was the devil and god all in one. He kept saying there were aliens in his head, and the government was out to get him because of his drug use. I felt like Ernie and I fed into his problem by constantly allowing it.
One night, he got weirder than usual. We all smoked PCP, ernie, me and this guy named Jut who became semi retarded when he was stabbed 29 times. On his long walk home, Jut called Billy, for god knows why, and Billy kept saying "come to me, I want you, I need you, come to me" over and over again. When we asked him to whom he was speaking and he replied "God."
This was really weird, but we ignored it because we didn't want to tick him off, and lately he had become increasingly irritable. Ernie and I both felt uncomfortable, and sat there in silence. Eventually Billy started pacing back and forth, and then he went into the bathroom for a while, and he started chanting to certain Gods whom he believed were going to help him. When he came out of the bathroom, half an hour later, he told us all how he spoke to the gods and they told him he had to fix the windows (it was his job to fix windows, as he was a glaicer.) That night, Ernie and I decided we were gonna stop doing PCP, and I'd love to say we stuck to it, but we didn't. After a few days, we gave into Billy's pleading and just started smoking the stuff again. Eventually, Billy got so crazy we had to stop. A few days later, he painted his red car black to stop the cops/government officials from following him. I could keep going, and I'm sure that you are all getting bored to bits with this, so I'm going to get straight to the point. After bouncing on his mother's car (he's 32 btw) screaming "I'm going to kill my dadddy" repeatedly, he drove off to his own house and drove his car through the French doors of his basement. And yeah. Off to the loony bin, and he's been in a paranoid schitzophrenic state ever since. Very sad, actually. He was, at one point, reasonably intelligent, and he liked to talk about the world and what it is comprised of. He had a wife who left about a year prior to this, and a daughter, who he's lost custody of. I feel terrible, but this is what it has done.
As for myself, I do not remember the last time I did PCP, but around the time Billy's mental state became apparent to the rest of the world we stopped. We knew it was the drugs that put his mind that way, and we wanted to avoid it. I'd be lying though if I said I don't ever crave it, in fact, I crave it all the time. Some days, i'd love nothing more than to snuggle up with a blunt of PCP, and write my poetry. Never again will i do this, but I am answering this question honestly, this is what addiction does, addiction of this drug anyway.
I haven't spoken to Billy in months, and nor has his cousin Ernie. We can't, he got too crazy for us, and we had a falling out. I wish him well, but I know he played a terrible role in my life, I'm thankful I got out when I did, before any serious problems arose because of it. I feel that my life now has not been affected in any way by the drug. Maybe I would have been fine, because I never felt anything such as this pyschosis coming on, but you never know. This is not shit to be messed with, and I'm thankful it's no longer a part of my life.