Writer's Block

Are women or men bigger cheats?

Do you think men or women are more likely to cheat if they know they won't get caught? Do you believe in marriage?

Answers (448)

  • I think cheating can go both ways. In the case of my ex, though, he was definitely a cheat. He wanted me out of the picture because he no longer wanted to share his life with me. His way of showing this wasn’t talking to other girls online. Rather, I knew he wanted me out of the way because he would be helping me less and less with what I asked. Yes, I do believe in marriage. But, finding the right guy is key. I’ve found the right guy in Sean “Mixingk” Keffer. He and I spend so much time together without arguing,you’d think something’s not right with our relationship. He tries so hard not to take his frustrations out on me, unlike how my ex was. Ultimately, I’d much rather spend the rest of my life with him than going back to the pain that I dealt with.
  • Both sexes are the same. But all people are so different. Some of them will never cheat and some of them will cheat with every opportunity. And Yes, I do believe in marriage!

  • This actually raises a very good question - not whether men or woman are bigger cheats- but…

    Would we act differently if we thought no one was looking?

    The choices we make in solitude will reveal our true character.

    “When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost.” - Billy Graham



  • A year ago, I would have said men are bigger cheats. Now though, I am not really sure. I have this friend, I love her to death really I do, but she cheats like no other. I have honestly never met anyone else that cheats quite like her. I don't think she would cheat any more or any less for any reason. There is no certainty that she won't get caught so it really wouldn't make a difference. She has actually been known to get herself caught on purpose just so she can see how long it takes someone to figure it out. It's crazy. I personally though, think cheating is wrong. It's not something that I have ever done, or plan to do. I think that if you don't feel the same about someone and you want to be with someone else you should just tell them. It might not be the most easy thing to do, but then again life isn't supposed to be easy. Any situation that involves cheating, can be avoided. You don't love them anymore, tell them. You aren't getting what you need from them, talk to them about it. Communication and Honesty, to me, are the most important things in any relationship. If you can't talk to your partner about things, then maybe you just shouldn't be with them. There are so many ways that you can get around having to cheat. Cheating always hurts at least one person, and in a lot of cases more then that. I don't see why people feel like they have to do it.  Me personally, I do believe in marriage. I have been married, I am now divorced. I know people say that once you are married it is supposed to be forever or whatnot. I can't really say that I agree with that. People change over time, no matter how well you know them. You could meet the most wonderful man/woman and date for years before deciding to get married. You eventually decide to get married and settle down and have a family. Things are good for a while. Then all of a sudden life just becomes too much. Your husband/wife snaps and loses it. Starts hitting you, hurting the kids, whatever. You are honestly going to tell me that you have to stay with that person for the rest of your life and just live in an unhappy, unhealthy relationship and give up on any chance of there ever being happiness with someone else because 15 years ago you decided to marry this person. To me that is all just bullshit. Sorry, it's how I feel, I really don't mean to offend anyone. I will say though, that I don't think that you should view marriage as something that doesn't mean anything or like it is some sort of game. I don't think people should just wait a few months after the start of "dating" someone and then decide to get married. I have been in 2 very serious relationships both of which lasted over 3 years. I was so in love and wanted to get married but looking back now, obviously neither of them were the person I truly wanted to be with. Granted I am only 24 now, so when I was in those, I was young and stupid and just wanted to grow up. But even now, I see people who are with someone for a week and are already talking about the rest of forever with them. I think that now days people, for some reason are so hell bent on having someone and not being alone, that they will do whatever it takes to have someone there. Which I don't understand? What exactly is the problem with being single? I haven't been with anyone since I left my ex husband which was a little over 3 years ago (and yea that includes sexually). People are always telling me that I need to put myself out there and that I need to find someone. Well, Why? I am fine being alone right now. I have a lot of issues in my life that I need to work through. Most days, I don't even like myself, let alone love myself, so how am I supposed to love another person? I do eventually want to find that special someone, settle down and live a happy life but I am not in any hurry to do it. I don't think it's right to go into a relationship knowing that I can't give it everything. Hell, to be completely honest, I have a friend, I have known her for about 2 years now. She is a lesbian, which never ever bothered me. I have always believed that a persons sexual preferences do not define who they are. Which, I guess is a good mentality for me to have since about a year ago, I started finding myself attracted to her. I have never felt the way I do about her about any other female. So now, I am constantly questioning my sexuality and I am not sure where any of this will lead. So until I do figure out what I want, I can't go into a relationship. Just because I wouldn't be able to be honest and I don't really think that starting a relationship without honesty is a good idea. So anyways, yea. That is my thoughts on cheating and marriage and whatever else. I do tend to get way off of topic and just ramble forever. So I will leave you with this. Again, I have no intentions of offending anyone with things that I have said, and I am sorry if they do. 
  • "Marriages don't break up on account of infidelity.  It's just a symptom that something else is wrong."

    The question here, I beleive, is fundamentally flawed because it makes the assumption that the majority of people, at least of a certain gender, want to cheat and would do so if they felt there was no risk of being caught.  I believe that when one person cheats on their significant other or spouse, it's because there is something missing or wrong with the current situation they are in (most of the time).  That's not to say that it is their SO's or spouses fault that they cheated; there are much better options than sleeping with someone else to find what you are looking for.  I am simply saying that often times the cheating is not the real problem, the real problem is WHY they stray.

    I know that there are a lot of people out there who would disagree with me; mostly people who have been cheated on.  Please note that I have been cheated on.  I know how much it hurts and I have never blamed myself for it.  He was an idiot.  He was the one who betrayed my trust and acted out of pur selfishness.  But if I had not at least understood that he didn't cheat just because the opportunity presented itself and that their was a bigger issue there, than I may never have learned the lesson I needed to in order to eventually have this happy and healthy relationship with the love of my life.  Specifically in my case, I learned not to date anyone long term I don't have feelings for because I am not going to care enough and it's not fair to make them fight a losing battle.

    But unfortunately it is considered inappropriate to say anything other than "there was nothing you could do" to someone who has been cheated on.  So we have developed this mindset as a community that the cheater was always going to cheat if the opportunity arose, and that the person being cheated on bares no fault or blame in the current state of the relationship.  Bullshit!  Once again, I would never blame them for the actions of another, but the idea that the person who has been cheated on has no responsibility in the state of the relationship is absolute bullshit.  If the relationship had been happy and completely fulfilling to both members of the couple, than the risk of cheating would have been too high and the loss would have been significantly more than the gain.  Cheating, most of the time, happens when the reward outweighs the risk because at least one person is not getting their needs met so it doesn't matter as much if their relationship doesn't work out.  Maybe they are even subconsciously looking for a way out that doesn't require them to be assertive. 

    Once again, I don't condone cheating.  There are other options available for someone who is unhappy from talking to counseling to prioritising to leaving the situation.  I am just saying that the problem is a whole lot less black and white than people seem to think.

    And just to tack on at the end: yes I believe in marriage.  I believe that you can live the rest of your life completely in love with someone in a happy and healthy relationship, and that relationship can be also be contracted under the law and God for the security of both parties.  I also know that historically, marriages were not structured the way they are now and people think it's 'not natural' for us to be with one person for the majority of our lives.  But I also think it's not natural for us to wear clothes and drive cars.  We do not behave like animals in any other aspect of our lives.  We don't make decisions based on pure instinct; we have free will to do as we please above instinct.  And, in being in a relationship, I feel that it is important to make sacrifices to ensure the happiness of your partner... including sacrificing the immediate gratification of sleeping with many partners for the long term gratification of a happy and healthy relationship.  And with marriage, you are sacrificing all the many partners you have yet to have for the security of your partner.  I guess I don't understand how someone would be unable to make that sacrifice for someone that they really love.
    I think it just comes down to whether or not someone is justifying being selfish or not. 

  • I honestly think it depends in the individual, not the collective group.

  • WOW!!!!!! Well.....um if you knew you were "never ever " going to get caught it would probably be a good mix of both, it's a thrill that you get a jolly knowing you are doing something naughty your hormones ragging the passion so with all that ya I would think it's a good mix of both not just one or the other does it more. Not one sex is worse then the other so for me it's defiantly both. As for marriage I used too believe but now I see a lot of couples who seem happier and stay together longer when there is not a piece of paper attached to them I know that it's supposedly it's living in sin but it's what I now at 27 yrs old believe I believe and respect and loyalty and yes of course love but you don't have to be married to have it either.

  • i believe that if men or women could get away with cheating, it would definitely happen much more often.
    but in my case, i believe in marriage.
    its something that is worth something.
    something that ties two people together.
    something that i believe should always be honored, and worked through.
    and one should only get married, if only they are 210 percent sure they are ready, and love the o\person to that extent.
  • Both Men and Women will cheat. Doesn't matter if they get caught or not. Cheating shows a lack of respect for the other person. Also, the Cheater must not have a very deep conscious if they can do that and not feel guilty. No, I do not believe in marriage. I think it is a dead institution that has more legal and financial drawbacks then it does benefits. Seriously, what are the benefits of marriage? Fidelity? Look at the title of this Writer's block. A Financial Leach if you marry someone for money? Not saying that marriage is bad; Just not a good thing for me in my perspective.
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