Post Comment

Raj KAJ (scottobear) wrote,
@ 2001-06-17 21:46:00
how do I feel?
I don't know....mixed.

Maybe it's the Malcolm in the middle being about moving. Maybe father's day. Maybe not. Evaluating...

I think it's a combination of multiple things. bypassing.

*thinking about my sweetie lounging in the tub, then curling up in bed to sleep soft dreams. Ah. Much better.

That missile base has me thinking...what a great lair! I think it'd be a great place to run mission control from.

A nice informational article follows.

How to be a Super hero

The first step in becoming a super hero is to acquire superpowers, duh. But like many things in life, this is not as easy as it would first appear. There are many methods that have been used throughout the ages, some good...some not so good. Here are but a few of the most popular:

1) Exposure to Radiation
A very popular way to acquire superhuman abilities is to goof around with cosmic rays, gamma rays and assorted radioactive creatures. If you get bitten by a radioactive animal, you'll gain that animal's abilities. Cool if said critter is a spider, bat or tiger. Getting bitten by a radioactive mallard or koala is nowhere near as cool and should be avoided whenever possible. (But maybe you'd get cool cuteness/eucalyptus eating powers from a koala?)

2) Weird Science
Super-serums, fringe medical experimentation and the ever-popular "highly-unstable molecular solution" dunking booth. Yup. That's some good stuff. Of course, it helps if you yourself are the mad genius or else you might wind up as a two-headed freak of nature with a cable descrambler permanently grafted to your backside.

3) Extra-terrestrial Birth
Granted, not an option available to most of us, but this is a sure-fire way of acquiring all sorts of cool powers. I think many of the residents of Fort Lauderdale might be from Outer Space...

4) That whole "Vengeance" thing
There's a quote by Neal Stephenson from his book, "Snow Crash" about how to be the baddest dude in the world. One of the options is to have your family wiped out by a villainous drug cartel and then spend the next seven years training in a remote monastery waiting for the day that you can exact your revenge. Me? I'm not into it, especially the whole, "Vengeance from beyond the grave" angle but that's just me...I think that you're more likely to look the "Spawn" than "The Crow."

5) Gadgets!
Kinda like the Weird Science method, but rather than become a hideously mutated freak, you have access to all kinds of cool "Sharper Image" catalog wares...like, ummm...radio-controlled Mylar blimps and gigantic crossword puzzles and life-size Stormtrooper replicas. Okay, maybe not great for crime fighting, but an easy way out if you've got a good line of credit.

6) Lots of training and self-discipline
Okay, this method is no good for me. The pros are that you won't have some weird vulnerability that can be exploited, you don't have to worry about ever losing your powers if someone steals your "space ring," and gaining superhuman abilities through sheer amounts of physical and mental conditioning is within the grasp of every man, woman and child alive on this planet. The cons are the fact that it's REALLY a LOT of work and your "super powers" will be limited to being able to move a sofa bed by yourself. Yay.

Like I said, there are tons of other methods...but regardless, once you've gotten your cool powers you're gonna need to create a "super hero identity" -- basically a flattering costume and a catchy name.

Spandex and lycra are only options if you are a fantastically well-proportioned woman *or* "fabulous" (not that there's anything wrong with that). Leather is stylish and protective...but it's also very hot.

I recommend the "business-casual" attire of the super hero world: some sturdy boots, black pants, a t-shirt with your logo or whatever on it, fingerless gloves and a domino mask (like the one Zorro wears). Simple, economical...and it breathes! Of course, if you're "Arctic Lad" you might do better in a parka and mukluks. An important note: Capes are hard to pull off...but they do make a flashy and stylish statement.

Choosing a name is VERY important, if only to help those newspaper people write eye-catching headlines about your exploits ("White Witch Snatches Snitch!" "King Cobra Sinks Fangs into Underworld!"). I mean, calling yourself "The Squid" is just gonna get you laughed at. Some say that super hero superlatives and titles (Captain, Doctor, Amazing, etc.) are old- fashioned and out of date but in these cynical times, I feel that a good superlative can really bring a concept together. The Squid = bad name. The Sensational Squid = still a bad name, but not AS bad.

Top secret bases: It helps to be a multi-millionaire but you can always set-up your studio apartment as a headquarters (or form a super hero team for that whole co-op arrangement...quite handy for the hero on a budget as someone else on the team is bound to have a blender or DVD player). Anyway, all you really need is Internet access, a telephone, a television and (optionally) a police scanner. Cover your walls with aluminum foil for that hi-tech, space-age look!

Transportation is an issue for the non-speedster/flyer/teleporter characters...very few superheroes take the bus (well, I did for awhile but I made it look cool!). Oh, and if you ARE joining (or forming) a super hero team, matching costumes are very "in" this year (what with all the X-Men movie hoopla). As always, a cool name does wonders for the team's image.

Personally, if I join a super-team, I'm going to be CIO. Surf the net, run the Troubalert, and let other folks beat on each other. Maybe be the lovable non-powered guy, offering unprofessional, but wise council to the other heroes?

(No comments)

Post a comment in response:

No HTML allowed in subject

When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed. You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use

Notice! This user has turned on the option that logs your IP address when posting. 

(will be screened)