Never going to a strange bar with a friend again.

So my friend asks me to go with her to see a friend of her's play in some band. So I'm like cool let's do this. We start driving. Thirty minutes later I'm starting to rethink this. 45 minutes later I realize we are in. The. Woods.

We come to a stop at a log cabin in the woods just past the something and daughter mortuary. The sign simply says "Liquor". I walk in and see a confederate flag to the left and a sign about killing or shooting hippies to the right.

Yeah. It's kinda like hell.. only everyone is wearing cowboy hats.

I wanna go but my friend has to listen to the band so we sit really near them and I wedge myself in the corner with many many beers. The band is cool and the bass player is cute with a little Buddy Holly vibe. Then a Hobbit appears and gestures at me. I kid you not. It was a little white dude and all I saw was like hair and motor oil stains.

But he was not the end. Oh no my friend. Next we have the carpenter who thinks he's Jesus. And who apparently really digs Soulja Boy.

>_> Dear God.

I really did like the floor though. It was wood so I could feel the thump of the dancers through my barstool.

Sooooo. I moved. Still have crap to unpack. So much crap. Next time I'm throwing all my shit in the yard and having a bonfire.

+ I'm kinda sorta loving True Blood. Well, Lafyette and Tara mostly. It's not the books, but it is a campy and funny and somehow cool version of them.

He barks in his sleep. :snort:

So a week and a half later and we still don't have power. Hot and sweaty and itchyyyy. Staying with Grams for now. Still hot as she doesn't believe in turning the ac on. >_> But I do have some net access and respite from the skeeters.

Want my own beeedddd. Want my WoW timmeeeeeee. /sob

And yes, I do realize I am an asshole. Some people's houses didn't even make it through. >_<

edit; Grams has cable so I caught True Blood. Meh, Bill is kinda oogly.

This is her new chihauhu/dodson puppy. I have no idea how to spell those breeds. o_0

Gustav ees coming but I am still watching the good Doctor.

Dude.. the end of series 3. The slash. The dance music. Holy sheet, those British people make me happy. In the pants.

Net/power may be going down for a couple days. I wish everyone who is in the path of the stormy thingie good luck. I have bought booze and toilet paper.

So erm.. Dr. Who is apparently like crack? It's 5 a.m. and I am still watching Dr. Who. o_0 I don't like science fiction! But he's purdy and he wears converse shoes and he quotes Rowling. >_> Must stop watching the walking salt shakers and pig men. Kitty people! Irish kitty people! With like brogue. >_>

http://www.cassandraclare.com/
^ The Mortal Instruments. So. Good. Kind of a cheesetastic premise but the writing is solid.

New layoutttt. I "love" that chapter. The almost kissssss. Aizen is so. Damn. Hot.

+ Trying out Warhammer this weekend. The graphics are actually solid but I dunno about the gameplay yet.

Small note; this will not make much sense to anyone who doesn't play WoW and/or has been in ZA. ^^ Little RP thing I'm working on.

Day one;

Scout training was... interesting. I'd gotten into scouting because I wasn't elite enough to hang out with the other jungle trolls, but I still wanted to be a part of the organization. Plus, I needed some benefits. Tusk insurance is soaring these days. The Scout Master is this huge troll who wears these small shorts for some reason. He was explaining about death and loss of limb and such but the teeny shorts kept distracting me. There was this one other scout named Bubba. Not too sure what is wrong with him but something is. He mentioned his mother being his aunt. I think I heard that wrong though.

Day Two;

Practice drills. What do you do when a bear is in your face? Drum. What do you do when you are on fire? Drum and then stop, drop, and roll. What do you do when you are being torn apart by arrows? Drum while screaming. What do you do when you see a bunny? Hug it and then drum. And then scream since it was a vampire bunny and therefore a trap. They want our gol... wait. What do the intruders want? We don't really have much gold. We have a lot of trees. And loincloths. This is very confusing.

Day Three;

I am slightly freaked out that they don't give us weapons. Scout Master said something about "expendable" and "acceptable loss". Still find the shorts distracting. Have gotten to know some of my fellow scout trainees better. Most are scared, some are ready for action, and Bubba believes he is on vacation. Tropical vacations are fun. The bunks are starting to smell though. They cram all of us into these little huts and only one of us can leave at a time. We smell like feet.

Day Four;

Went on a practice run today. Thought I'd seen an intruder so I pounded the drum. It was a squirrel. Tried to tell the guards it was an evil squirrel out to steal our loincloths and conquer our troll empire but they beat me instead. The squirrel hopped up in the tree in watched. I crave some squirrel stew.

Day Five;

Still feeling sore today. Applied liquor and bandages liberally so I feel a little better. No sign of intruders. SQUIRRELWATCH has gone into hour twenty three though. The furry menace will go down! He's watching me. In my dreams, he's watching me. But he doesn't know that I am also watching him. And it is me who will have all of the acorns while he watches, helpless. I will eat those acorns right in front of him!

Paco died. I am cursed. CURSED!

I got a guinea pig today. >_> Her name is Paco, the Apocalypse Guinea Pig.

http://kuzuki.com/

>_> New layout. It's been like.. a year since I updated a new layout there. I dunno. I've had that domain open since 2001. And honestly, I really don't particularly care about it anymore but when I think about deleting it or my other two domains I just can't. >_< I may eventually delete the bleach and kuzuki domain and keep the book site for my writing.

Oh! And if anyone wants to try Warcraft let me know. Ah gets a unicorn mount if I can find a victi.. er converts. >_>

Ahmen is in zee betaaaaaa. Woooo.

Cannibal Poem
I pick the last piece of flesh
from his bones with my teeth
sound like fingertips over hard plastic
the pieces come from cold box or cupboard or middle drawers
I crave more and more
a finger isn't enough anymore
I want a hand or an arm

maybe this all is a perry bible
I'm really eating myself
piece by piece
no
no, I'm eating him
he tastes like angel food cake

Whore Poem

The mouth is more dangerous than the pussy
they call it a crime against nature
I wonder why
is it easier to fuck up a blow job?
you have more control there, yes
messier and messier
offer your scabard for pay all day
you'll never get anywhere that way
offer your mouth and you pay
they call it a crime against nature

My father was allen ginsburg
really
it means I have pedigree
or a degree of seperation
I do have a law degree at least

you know ginsburg was really a lobster right
when you peel his clothes and his skin and his bones off
you find hardcorered shell

you should never say alaska

Gonna try and do the 100 poems, 100 days things. I cannot promise they will not suck. >_<


Drives a 67 'Vette
listens to ice cream jingles
blaring from speakers that crack
no I don't have the cream for you children
I am too cool for that

Drives near high schools
picks up girls in red skirts
they ask for him call him the ice cream man
like the song from that band
guaranteed to sa.tis.fy

Never touch that sugar
soft melting sugar
never touch that
ants crawl on the plush seats
they hear the siren song
of ice cream

So I found this place that's looking for regional fiction. This is my attempt at some. >_> I dunno if I like it. I'm experimenting with taking out quotes since I bloody hate them. I like the cleaner look and the confusion between what is said and thought and heard. Not my normal genre but I think it has a horror-ish slant.

( cut for people who dinna want to read it )

Cobbled together from stuff I saw/heard/read

Why do you want this light?
I see you crawling in through the
crack in the top of my door
towards the light in my room

curl up next to me
we can watch the man from Poland
die on the television
the Canadian killed him

he's saying a corncob should go to the afgane border
make a bunch of peanuts into cranberries
soon they have to shoot him
you know this
has to stop that screaming somehow

why did you come again?
what light?

We go to that hip bar with the cups
of coffee that taste of old cinnamon
we wanted to listen to that hip new poet
read his hip new poetry

he strides up to the podium
his red felt hat askew
and mouths his poems to us

soundless, his eyes follow the words on the page
his mouth opens and closes as he form the words
he never utters

some walk out loudly, some quietly
more leave as time goes on
until only we are left
hostages to the cool

I forgot how much I loved imaginarybeasts

>_> So I'm reading some of their old issues and I'm like.. oooh I love that story. And I wrote it. o_0 Should get into fiction more. Some of mine is not half baaaaddd.

http://ib-archive.livejournal.com/5794.html

superman is batman and he is wearing a cheap gray suit
he slips into the movie theatre
to watch the watches on the wall
he leaves with the taste of popcornmint

he participates in a ménage à trois
with a purple squid and the maid who comes in on Tuesdays
the maid cleans up after

he cheats at capture the flag
he doesn't consider the rules fair
too blue or too red
he wonders if there might be better colors

superman is batman and he's riding in a brand new Mercedes
his license plate says 2 REAL 4 U
he is all dressed up
his red tie waves in the wind

superman is batman and he is too real for you