FIENDS

we walked into macy's tonight and walked out with a steelers miller jersey for adam and a steelers tshirt for me. what on earth is happening to me? football is stupid!

fucccck this hurts.

Things I love about Autumn:

-Hazelnut Cream scented candles
-Cooler nights
-Pumpkin ice cream
-Iced pumpkin cookies
-Candy corn
-HALLOWEEN
-Scarves and hats
-Sweaters
-Going for walks in the evening
-Pot
-Oranges, reds, browns, yellows
-Sunsets coming earlier
-Snapple Pie (though no one makes it anymore)
-Hockey starting
-Cider
-Rocky Horror Picture Show
-Pumpkins EVERYWHERE
-Bonfires
-The droning of cicadas at dusk


Of course, Summer has yet to end for the year, but it's getting close. Nothing makes me more anxious than Summer ending.
I really don't like summer.

[12:39AM] xoxoKidReverie: and *GASP* in love
[12:39AM] shocked by sound: and NO. i will not use that word.
[12:39AM] xoxoKidReverie: why? you do
[12:39AM] shocked by sound: i cant. i wont let myself
[12:39AM] xoxoKidReverie: just because you won't admit it, doesn't mean you don't
[12:39AM] xoxoKidReverie: you're just kidding yourself
[12:39AM] shocked by sound: im protecting myself.
[12:40AM] xoxoKidReverie: if you were protecting yourself, you wouldn't be crying daily
[12:40AM] xoxoKidReverie: face the facts
[12:40AM] xoxoKidReverie: you love him
[12:40AM] shocked by sound: i cant.
[12:40AM] shocked by sound: i cant do that to myself. itd only be a bigger let down.
[12:41AM] xoxoKidReverie: as opposed to what it already is, right?
[12:41AM] xoxoKidReverie: you live in denial
[12:41AM] xoxoKidReverie: on that note, i'm going back to work
[12:42AM] xoxoKidReverie: the relationship-challenged would rather work than listen to you pretend that you didn't fall for this guy
[12:42AM] shocked by sound: do you think i should tell him...? do you think that would make it worse..
[12:42AM] xoxoKidReverie: REALLY?
[12:42AM] xoxoKidReverie: do you need me to hold your hand here?
[12:42AM] xoxoKidReverie: here's what you do
[12:43AM] shocked by sound: the last time this happened to me i was 16 years old.
[12:43AM] xoxoKidReverie: when you guys have a minute, between going to indie rock snob concerts and banging like rabbits
[12:43AM] shocked by sound: well im not gonna see him until friday
[12:43AM] shocked by sound: and hes staying over and leaving saturday morning
[12:44AM] xoxoKidReverie: flat out tell him, the last couple weeks have been the best i've ever had, i'm gonna miss you, and i think i've fallen for you
[12:44AM] xoxoKidReverie: you don't even have to say i love you
[12:44AM] xoxoKidReverie: just say that
[12:44AM] xoxoKidReverie: if he's as great as i'll bet he is- he'll say it first
[12:45AM] shocked by sound: okay.
[12:45AM] shocked by sound: i kind of read his phone
[12:45AM] shocked by sound: to get back at him
[12:45AM] shocked by sound: and...there were draft texts in his draft box to me that he never sent saying "im going to miss you so much when i leave for ohio, abby"
[12:46AM] xoxoKidReverie: god, this is what i have to put up with until the next season of America's Next Top Model?
[12:46AM] xoxoKidReverie: just say what I said
[12:46AM] shocked by sound: okay.
[12:46AM] xoxoKidReverie: and mean it
[12:46AM] shocked by sound: i will.
[12:46AM] xoxoKidReverie: i don't have much hope in this department, but you deserve this
[12:46AM] xoxoKidReverie: you owe it to yourself to say it
[12:46AM] xoxoKidReverie: because that's what you feel
[12:47AM] xoxoKidReverie: the second you can say it to someone and MEAN it, a lot of things in life seem easier
[12:47AM] shocked by sound: i hope i dont cry like an asshole again
[12:49AM] xoxoKidReverie: so what if you do
[12:49AM] xoxoKidReverie: this is the first time you've felt something other than crap in a long time
[12:49AM] xoxoKidReverie: embrace the fact that you're human abby
[12:50AM] xoxoKidReverie: this is typically the point where you gush over me and tell me i'm one in a million and that someday some girl's gonna be so lucky and i'll shrug it off like an asshole
[12:50AM] shocked by sound: if i lived in rochester, or even near rochester i would have made you love me already.
[12:50AM] shocked by sound: you totally would have been forced into it.
[12:50AM] xoxoKidReverie: interesting variation on my material
[12:51AM] xoxoKidReverie: but i think mike's a better fit for you
[12:51AM] shocked by sound: i do love the indie snobs.
[12:51AM] xoxoKidReverie: trust me, tell him
[12:51AM] xoxoKidReverie: you won't ever regret feeling alive
[12:51AM] xoxoKidReverie: and on that note, kid reverie sighs and makes comics
[12:52AM] xoxoKidReverie: gnight hon
[12:52AM] shocked by sound: night karl. our chats always mean a lot to me<3
[12:52AM] xoxoKidReverie: i just wanna see you happy
[12:52AM] xoxoKidReverie: happy works for you

i dont think i was ready to hurt this much.
but i'm trying to look forward to the future..i have a good feeling about this, and i hope he means the words that come out of his mouth.

I figured I should probably post some links to other sites that I'm more active on.

Myspace

Facebook

Last.fm

Be my friend on Netflix

[06:45PM] shocked by sound: so
[06:45PM] shocked by sound: im going to miss you a lot.
[06:45PM] mcooley386: yeah, I am going to miss you too
[06:45PM] mcooley386: maybe next year I'll apply for grad school at Rutgers or NYU
[06:46PM] mcooley386: there were programs I was looking at
[06:47PM] mcooley386: lets not talk about the future right now, lets stay in the present
[06:47PM] shocked by sound: yeah.
[06:47PM] mcooley386: would you think I was a wuss if I told you that I started crying this morning when I was thinking about leaving you and going back to Ohio?
[06:48PM] shocked by sound: no because thats why i havent been able to sleep.
[06:48PM] mcooley386: alright, lets not talk about it right now.

this hurts real bad.
i almost forgot this feeling.
i hate to admit i'm going to miss him terribly..

[12:00AM] KMMQB: "eating chickens" just conjures up this insane image of you with bright red eyes and bloody fangs just raiding the fuck out of a chicken coop.
[12:00AM] shocked by sound: only on thursdays
[12:00AM] KMMQB: or a pig pen.... on tuesdays, right?
[12:00AM] shocked by sound: yeah, tuesday is ham day
[12:01AM] KMMQB: your new name is the pig nosher.