Shannon's Journal

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Monday, July 21st, 2008
10:47 pm
I was greatly amused yesterday while shopping in the small town semi-conservative grocery store near my house, to hear "God" by Tori Amos playing over the intercom. .. on a sunday no less ;)


I promise posts soon. Work and summer school has left me under water, and without many tall tales to tell. Life is going to ease up for about a month come August, and the plan is to start writing in here more like the good old days.

ps-I still read all your posts ♥

current mood: stressed
current music: great lake swimmers

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Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008
8:58 pm - an update, via a disjointed stream of consciousness
Despite the fact that things haven't been the best for me this year, I've been feeling surprisingly well these days. I don't know if it's the sun, or if I'm just finally relieved to be done this god-forsaken-year, but I feel optimistic right now about the days to come. Some of the not-so-great part of my life at the moment is school. I've messed up pretty badly, and I can't blame the profs or the courseload, because it has all been pretty doable, it's just mostly been me, and I don't know how I came to be so apathatic this year, but I have. Right now I'm just waiting on marks to know whether or not I'm going to be able to stay at Trent next year. I think I've done pretty well in 2 of my courses so far, but the other 2 I've really slipped up on. Mostly due to stupid mistakes. My worst case scenario is if I do fail, I'll be forced out of school (suspended) for a year, and then will have to reapply the year after. This really scares me. I worked really hard to get here, and was excited to prove myself last year, I don't know how I was able to let it slide so easily. Right now I'm putting all my energy out into the universe in the hopes that I'll be able to scrape by with another chance. I think this is the kind of reality check I need, and have already made lists of what I need to do to organize my life. ..oh growing up. One day I'll get there. On that note, I've signed up this summer for summer classes, and I'm strangely excited for them. I'm never keen on writing papers and the like, but I really want the chance to prove to myself again that of what I'm capable of academically. I'm also excited to have a class with Sasha this summer. Anyway, long story short. Please send out good vibes :)

Another big change for the summer is having Ally move out. I don't know if it's hit me at all yet, but it comes to mind from time to time. It makes me a little sad when I think about it. But on the other hand I'm so happy that she's moving on and moving in with Jay-bird and going on to college in the big city. It's a big step, that she's definitely earned. I'm sometimes reminded of the trip I made here to see her two years ago, and how excited I was to move in with her and Sasha. We've had such amazing times here, and I'm so lucky to be able to come home to such an incredible support system. The times I was the most upset, I think are the times they've made me laugh the most. I'm looking forward to many trips this summer to Toronto. Going out with Ally and Jason is incredibly fun, and I know that we'll be up to some exciting city adventures in the summer months. Alternatively, we've potentially gotten a new roommate to come in for July who seems very cool and exciting. She came to see the place last week, and will be bringing a dog with her (how pumped am I to have a dog in the house!!!) she also has a python snake which sounds really cool, and she promised me she'd teach me poi and fire-breathing (which she also does) when she moves down.

As for the boy situation, I'm feeling much better about it these days. It was a fun experience, and I'm happy to have had it. Especially being able to explore my sexuality, and find out new and exciting things about myself. I'm glad to have it conclude as well with no particularly hard feelings. Went out last week with a new boy. I'm not sure how I feel about it. On paper it's uncanny how well we get along, and how have a lot of the same interests, and he's this really sweet sensitive indie boy. I just don't think I should be jumping into anything too soon. Am supposed go out with him again sometime this week, so I guess we'll see. I think overanalyze things too much, and I'm going to try to just go with the flow on this.

So one of my main goals for this summer (along with doing super amazing in school) is to overcome my shyness and try to be more social. I've vowed that when people ask me to go out, I'm actually going to commit to doing so, and not just agree to it and shy away at the last minute. I've actually been contemplating how far I've come with this in my life. I know I've had lot of confidence issues in the past, which I feel like I'm really going through an amazing process these days of overcoming. I notice that I can talk to people now without feeling self-conscious, or overanalyzing my social skills. I've been feeling much much more comfortable in my own skin these days, and really feel like I'm at a point in my life where I can push myself more. Something I'm pretty excited and grateful for.

Other plans for this summer include: Taking kyaking lessons. Going skydiving for my birthday (I know i say it every year. Lets see if I can save up enough to go through with it this time) All night adventures in Toronto. Catching up with friends in Ottawa. CAMPING. Getting the ACES together for a wonderland trip. Renting a car one sunday with T and hitting up all the flea markets in the area. Going biking everyday. Making a trip either to Bermuda or the East coast.

I think that's it. I'm so so very glad that this year is over. It's been such a strange year for me, with more weird drama stress that I really cared for. I'm excited to get my life sorted out this week, and start myself a new.

current mood: good
current music: still at the library...

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10:15 am
I'm working at the library for 11 hours today, and an hour and fifteen minutes in I'm already bored :/ Can someone suggest a good book?

Things are otherwise going alright in life :) I'll probably put up a post later on today.

current mood: bored
current music: SSSHHHH!

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Wednesday, March 5th, 2008
2:48 am
So I got up early today and trudged to work in the hell raising snow storm. (And by "work" I mean filing a few papers for the Trail Studies Unit, but really more or less sitting and chatting with my friend T, whilst drinking chai ..I ♥ my job)

So it was blizzarding the whole time I was at work, and then I trudged through the snow to the grocery store to pick up some food, thinking; on a day like this, it would be perfect to declare the afternoon a "snow day" and spend it in my kitchen baking decandent cakes and making a labourly nourishing comfort dinner while watching the snow fly by my kitchen window outside.

Instead, as soon as I left the grocery store the sun came out all bright and shiny and warm. Not that I'm complaining.. I've certainly had it up to my ears with this snow (literally.) Still.. I think this means I should probably actually do work this afternoon instead of relishing in a 'snow day'

current music: Patti Griffith

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Monday, March 3rd, 2008
10:20 am
I just wanted to post a little blurb about my NY trip, since it seems silly to have such an exciting adventure without a nod to LJ.

On the friday that we got down, our plane left at 6:15AM which meant, Charlotte and I woke up at 4:00, but it was good times. We enjoyed the plane ride and were in hyper-good spirits. We arrived in NY and were set up in our hotel, which was pretty much a super fancy, uber hip hostel. Our room itself was the size of a large closet, and there were shared bathrooms. But the room/hotel was so nice, and the bathrooms were so private and clean, we couldn't believe we got such a good deal on such a fabulous space.

So on the first day, we headed out to Time's Square, and walked around, passed Radio City Music Hall, the Late Show, the Trump Towers, down broadway, went walking through Central Park -which I thought would be much more sketchy than it was. It was actually quite beautiful and was a welcome relief from the noise and busyness going on in the city.
For dinner we went to a place called Jekyll and Hyde, which was essentially a four story haunted house/restaurant. It was fantastically fun, and incredibly entertaining. Following which, we tried to wander around to find a good club to go to, but the midtown manhatten area seemed to have either really fancy places, or office buildings and hotels. We opted, on the advice of the concierge for our hotel, to visit the hotel wine bar located next door. I can't remember what it was called, but it was super hip and fancy. Charlotte and I drank $12 glasses of wine, and it was by far the best wine I've ever had in my entire life.

On saturday we got up early and headed to a place around the corner from where we were staying called "Ess-a-Bagel" and had the most fantastic bagels and cream cheese we've ever indulged in. (We found out afterwards that they're known for having some of the best Bagels in NY) and then Charlotte wanted to venture down 5th avenue, in which I was in complete awe of the fancy super expensive shops that the rich get to indulge in. (I ended up buying a bra and a cardigan at the more reasonably priced H&M on 5th avenue) we also went into FAO Schwartz where there was more awe, but inclined more to the fantastical toys there were abound. We even got to see the big keyboard from the movie Big :)
Following this we ventured down to Greenwich village, which didn't have as many hip vintage bootiques as I was hoping for (or at least not down the streets we went) We grabbed a slice of pizza at a charming place that broadcasted the discovery chanels breeding habits of seaguls on their one tv ;b We walked up through to the East Village and had tea at a tea shop (called teany) that's owned by Moby (alas, he wasn't there.) But I did have some citrus-rose petal-almond-clove tea that was amazing and some vegan cheesecake. We were so tired after that, we took the subway back to the hotel and napped, then got purdied up and after eating a delishious Thai meal we went to the Beauty Bar (thanks to the reccommendation of R!) which was an old 1960's beauty salon that they turned into a club, with much of the original decor still intact (ie-you could sit and chat in old salon chairs with the bubble hair dryers hanging over your head) The music was fantastic! The crowd was great, but man, it was soooo packed. You could barely move.

Sunday was rough, but we got up early. Charlotte wanted to see Bloomingdales, and I ventured over to where the world trade center used to be and we agreed to meet back at the hotel before check out. It feels weird going on about the experience of being at ground zero, so I won't. Just that it was a very unique and moving experience. I sat across the street on a bench and ate my bagel and took it in for a while before taking the subway back to meet Charlotte. Once we met up again and checked out, we ventured over to the museum of modern art. WOW! is pretty much all I can say. Standing within arms reach of Monet, Klimt, Duchamps, Picasso, Pollock, Francis Bacon, Warhol, Matisse, Cezanne, and I'm sure a bunch of other artists I'm completely forgetting was a very exciting experience.
After this we grabbed a bite to eat and then decided that our whirlwind trip was done and headed out to the airport,
which itself was quite the experience letmetellyou!

basically it involved our plane to montreal running really really late, which we thought would make us miss our connecting flight to Ottawa. (Aparently Air Canada already has us booked on the next flight, which was at SIX THE NEXT MORNING, and said that they didn't have give us accomidations since the delay was due to the weather and not their fault) So we were potentially going to have to sleep in Trudeau airport for the night. HOWEVER, after finally getting on the plane and talking to the flight attendant, she told us that the pilots and herself were the one's flying the montreal to Ottawa flight, (which was now, as well, obviously delayed) Whiew! So basically Charlotte and I had to outrun the flight crew through customs to get to our gate. (Also keep in mind we landed in at gate 85 and had to make it to our plane at gate 35) So the flight landed and I had put my boarding pass and customs form inside my passport which I held in my hand. So they open the doors and Charlotte and I are running through Trudeau airport Amazing Race style, when I look down and realized I don't have my boarding pass.
Shit.
I tell Charlotte, who tells me to go find it while she gets her bag. (I only had a carry on, so I didn't have to worry about getting my bag through luggage) so I run back through the airport, exhausted, out of breath, pretty much in tears... when I see our sweet and amazingly kind flight attendant. I tell her that I lost my boarding pass and I don't know what to do... to which she replies that she found it on the plane. !!! So she's trying to tell me not to worry, that they won't leave without us.. I procede to start running again through the airport, I'm sure looking quite disheaveled as I'm trying to quickly make my way through customs. Finally get to security, where Charlotte and I were joking with the guards, who were super incredibly nice and cheering us on in the hopes that we made it to flight in time. Sure enough we did. It was pretty intense though. There were a few other crazy parts to our flight back that I left out, because I'm blabbering on as it is. In short, Char and I had decided we would officially rock at Amazing Race. (As long as I don't lose my boarding pass..)

So that's basically it. I'm sure I'm leaving stuff out, but I wanted to get the exciting parts down in LJ. I want to post pictures, but I used and old school disposable camera, and haven't had the opportunity to scan the pictures. Hopefully soon :)

current mood: procrastinatory
current music: Do Make Say Think

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Thursday, February 7th, 2008
6:02 am
I'm leaving for New York with Charlotte soon.. Wish us many adventures :)

current mood: excited
current music: The Battle of Land and Sea

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Wednesday, February 6th, 2008
9:59 am
I cannot name this. I cannot explain this. Just blame it all me. Say I was shameless. )

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Friday, December 28th, 2007
10:54 pm - oh have you seen my ghost, seen my ghost, seen my ghost?
I haven't been on here for a while, mostly because I've been working alot, and haven't had much time to keep up with this LJ thing these days. Things have been going okay, school has been a big challenge this year. I don't know if I got cocky from my grades last year, or if my depression had gotten the better of me, but I put absolutely no effort whatsoever into my classes this semester and am paying for it now. I know this isn't my full potential, I'm feeling a lot better than i did say, a month ago, so i'm looking forward to being super productive this term and pulling off the amazing, incredible grades i know I'm capable of.

In the meantime, I'm currently back in Ottawa, and have been working non-stop the past two weeks. I'm back at the hospital as well as working my last xmas at the now defunct Music World. It doesn't even feel like the company is shutting down, I guess it won't set in for a while. If feels almost like the end of an era, I'd been with them I think a total of 5 years (including the years I only worked over xmas), I can't believe it's been so long! I'm pretty pooped with all the working, but I'm doing it to save up to go to New York with Charlotte in February, so it feels totally worth it. I'm so excited to be taking a trip to New York, and looking forward to adventures we're going to have there :)

Anyway, with the exception of going out with the ACES for all-you-can-eat sushi (!!) I haven't really had the chance, or the money, to see any ottawa folk since i've been back. I very desperately need a night of drunken stories to come back to Peterborough with, so I'm hoping to organise an outing next weekend if I can pull together the time.

Anyway, I have more stories to write, but little sis' needs her computer back, so I'll have more lj stories later xoxoxoxxox

current mood: sick
current music: wintersleep

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Friday, November 23rd, 2007
12:22 pm
DEAR NEW YORKER LJ FRIENDS,

My friend Charlotte and I have decided to spend valentines day this year in New York city. We're going for a few days and were wondering about cool and affordable things to do while we're there (we're obviously going to some of the traditional touristy stuff, but it would be awesome to find out about little known awesome events in NY)
Also, where's your favourite place to eat? And where can I go to find cheap/affordable funky vintage clothing?

I'm so excited for this! Definitely something to look forward during the winter months.

current mood: happy
current music: Patty Griffin

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Tuesday, October 16th, 2007
9:36 pm
I've been trying to intake a lot less tofu these days because I keep hearing more and more studies about some of the harmful effects it can have (Although it's important to still recognize that it has some amazing health benefits too) I miss when there was a time when you could just ignorantly eat food without worrying about genetic mutant versions of it, or pesticides, or preservatives, or other chemicals upping your your chances of cancer by 40%

Some recent findings about the effects of soy products )

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Monday, October 8th, 2007
10:27 pm
So life is going alright these days. Schoolwork-overload is slowly creeping up and consuming me. I'm still a procrastinator. I've also come to the conclusion that trying to budget and live off of osap isn't going to work. So I have to get a job. Which isn't a big deal. Plenty of folks work and go to school at the same time. I just really relished last year in spending time in my studies away from mundane jobs. But I was spoiled last year and definitely have to start picking up my boot straps.

Spent the weekend (Canadian Thanksgiving) in Ottawa. It was nice to see the family again, but I get really antsy when I'm in Ottawa. I had a ♥ to ♥ with my mum about what I want to do with my career. ... .. The weekend was very rainy and cool, which I loved. I adore grey fall days. I tried to catch up on readings and went to the locally owned coffee shop near my house, and sipped maple tea and ate orange cheesecake while reading Marx and watching the people outside dodge puddles.
On Sunday my family and I woke up early and went out to breakfast and then went up to the Gatineau Hills (It's kind of a small provincial park.) Gatineau Hills are quite famous in the fall because all the maple trees change colour and it looks like the hills are on fire with orangey red leaves. We drove up to the top of one of the hills, which was pretty high. You could see hills and farms and the ottawa river and how it stretched for miles. It made me yearn for an old hobby farm where we could live and I could make crafts all day which I would sell at local farmers markets on saturday mornings.

That evening my grandparents came over for a big glutenous dinner, which was lovely. I"m always so floored at what a raging feminist my grandmother is (though she'll never admit it.)
I should get back to homework now I guess. More adventures to write about later xox

current mood: groggy
current music: Fleetwood Mac

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Friday, September 7th, 2007
11:31 pm
Well I haven't really been on here much in the past long-while. Mostly this summer I haven't had access to a computer (my sister had one that I could use, but she uses it compulsively, and it's hard to get a few minutes on.) And to be honest, the past few years LJ has become a little intimidating. Mostly because I want to write artistically and creatively in the ways that I used to in my angsty teen years when I started this journal, but I know I don't have that ability anymore. It just takes too much effort, and I don't really feel connected to writing as a creative outlet these days. Thirdly, I've added a lot of people I barely know to this journal, and the thought of folks that you do see occaisionally in "real-life" reading what is essentially a diary seems intimidating to someone who is always worried about what people think of her.

Regardless, I feel like right now is a really important time of my life, and this is the only real form of documentation I use for my thoughts. I've attempted to keep paper diaries before, and they just don't get used. Maybe it's narcisistic to only write for the reason that someone out there may read and *want* to read what you have to say. I know that I mostly like hearing friends (and strangers) feedback on thoughts and worries, and this space (and the wonderful people within it) has in the past, has certainly helped me out through difficult times.

So I intend to keep up with journal for the next little while, even if it means writing boring and mundane things, I feel like this kind of documentation is muchly needed.

As for my summer, it was pretty dissapointing. I had so many expectations for myself and the things I wanted to do in it. For the most part I worked. I made a lot of money, and spent it just as fast. On what? No idea. I'm coming under the realization that I have a problem with organizing my finances. Like a *real* problem. I owe money to my credit card and to the government, whom I'm sure will come to my door looking to bust kneecaps soon enough. I'm tired of it, and I want to just get shit organized. When i was younger, I was so grateful to my parents who let me spend my money, the way I wanted too. At this point, however, I really regret not having those tools I needed to budget my money and save instead of being perpetually in debt and having completely shot my credit-rating. A mortgage or car seem like they will never be in my forseeable future.

Being in Ottawa, I've also come to the realization that it is no longer my home. Being back and seeing my parents and friends was wonderful. But living at home was kind of tough, considering I had been living on my own for a few years. My parents are wonderful people and we get along *so* great, but having your mother tell you to clean up your room at 24 takes a toll on your autonomy. As for my friends, I had such great summer nights out, and I had such a wonderful time seeing people I haven't seen in quite a while, but it's always feels a little sad when you realize that people have gone on with their lives without you. I think this was especially apparent with A, who has a new partner. Her partner is one of the coolest, sweetest, awesomest people in the world. We all had a few nights in which we went out. But with this new person in her life, along with me not being around at all in 8 months, has definitely put a distance in our friendship. It's been hard to deal with this, because she was such a huge part of my life, and vice versa for a good 5 years. It's heartbreaking when you lose such a monumental person in your life. I miss her, even though we used to yell at eachother all the time, and we weren't always the happiest of friends. She sits in a very exclusive circle of people whom I hold dearest. I hope that one day we'll be able to hang out again like we used to.

On the plus side, the highlight of my summer was going with the folks to Universal Studio's in Florida. Growing up we never had any money, so family vacations usually consisted of going to museums or mini-putting. Which was AWESOME and wouldn't have traded them for the world, but there was something really exciting about going on a plane ride (which I've never really done before) and going to this super crazy amazing amusement park. (Okay, so it's evil, and I was definitely aware of the copious amounts of consumerism and energy-wasting going on there... but ohmygod it was so much fun.) I'm pretty grateful for the time spent with my family, it was a very happy and fun 5 days, and I'm very glad that I was able to experience it.


So now I'm back in Peterborough, and I love it! This place just absolutely calls to me. Living with Ally and Sasha is wonderful. I've finally settled back in at the house, and I love all the time I've gotten to spend with Ally. I know that this time in my life and with her and Sasha and Jason is something I cherish dearly. It's such a priviledge to share my home with such an awesome person. On top of going to Toronto this week with Ally, I also went out last night with my friend T to a local coffee shop/bar for the "Open Mike Night" (T is a fantastic musician who usually hosts the open mike nights) it was really cool as well, because a friend of ours, S, showed up, and sitting there in the bar I've realized how far I've come here. This time last year this town and school were vastly intimidating. I was absolutely convinced that I wasn't going to make any friends here. And now, I'm out *doing* things and socializing, which feels wonderful. I feel like I finally have a space where I fit in.

Tomorrow Sasha's coming back (so excited!) I have plans to clean the house, and venture over to the local farmer's market to get groceries. Tomorrow night, drunken antics will no doubt ensue. (I've decided that Peterborough is infinitely the most fun place ever to get your drink-on)

Anyway, I should be off to bed for my big day tomorrow. To those who have read this far in my long-ass post, I thank you :) No doubt there will more to come soon
xox

current mood: good

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Friday, July 20th, 2007
7:50 pm
I"m going to be going to Montreal next weekend for Pride. It's likely that I'll be able to stay at a friends place, but I was looking for room regardless.

Soo... I was wondering if anyone knew of any good/affordable places to stay in Montreal?

My requirements are:
Under $100
Clean
Safe
Accessable by metro
I'm willing to go to a hostel, but I don't want any place that has a curfew,
and while I'm willing to share a dorm room with other people, I'd really prefer to have a private room.

Thanks! ♥

current mood: exhausted

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Wednesday, July 18th, 2007
7:41 pm - Random entry..
~My l'il sister, who normally loves techno and dance music, and listens to Evanescence religiously, and owns Lincoln Park albums, recently got into Phil Collins. I hear Phil Collins from her room all the time these days. I think it's the most random-adorable thing ever.

~Last week, I went to see Cat Power at Bluesfest. She was beautiful and amazing as always. Although seeing her last year at Lee's Palace was a gagillion times better. I tried to get backstage after the show, with no luck. I did have a random conversation with her keyboardist though. ..that is until he saw through my ploy to get backstage.

~Went last weekend to Peterborough, and had a great time. It was wonderful seeing A and S again. Drinking in Peterborough is one of my favourite things to do now. The bars there are so open, and everyone is so friendly! You can go and have conversations with the most random people and make a hoard of new friends for a night. I had a wonderful time going out with my roommates, and feel very fortunate to live with the wonderful people I do.

~My hair is starting to grow out (finally) but not fast enough. It's been very fun this summer reconnecting and reclaiming my femininity.

~I've decided I'm getting a nose ring at the end of the summer. I'm looking forward to getting a tiny silver star shaped stud like this

~I'm dreading working next weekend, I can't wait till I have weekends all to myself again. Although, I haven't applied for my OSAP for this upcoming year. I have say, I'm pretty nervous about how much they'll decide to loan me for this school year.

current mood: working

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Sunday, July 8th, 2007
10:54 pm - The grass is happy, and I think, 'so am I'
I had some free tickets to bluesfest last night, so I went after to work to watch Sarah Harmer, I got myself yummy curry and beer and plopped on a patch of grass close to the stage. Some folks sat with me and we chatted. Sarah came on to sing, and she was incredible, of course. It was such an amazing feeling being outside with the sun setting, sitting crosslegged in the grass, rain drizzling down and birds swirling overhead, listing to some beautiful music.

After Sarah was done, I went over to watch Michael Franti. Honest to goddess, if there is ever a live show you ever see in your life, *go* see Michael Franti. The man is phenominal. I swear he radiates light. And if you're not dancing, clapping, laughing, singing, at the beginning of the show, I *guarantee* you will be the end. I didn't stay for Manu Chao, because I hadn't heard any of his stuff before, but as I was waiting at the bus stop, I kind of regretted it. He sounded like an amazing act to see live. Anyway, it was just great to get out and actually enjoy an evening to myself. Looking forward to seeing Cat Power on wednesday!

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Friday, May 4th, 2007
10:54 pm
Started back at the hospital yesterday, I swear that job is going to suck my will to live by the end of the summer. With Canada having such a huge nurse shortage, it's next to impossible to get nurses to fill the basic needs of the hospital (that's my job.) Which kind of sucks because patients' lives depend on having a nurse to take care of them, and the other nurses depend on not being totally burnt out. Anyway, I go home feeling very flaky (I have a tendancy to forget a lot) and that I suck at my job. On a positive note, they've started me working on a few day shifts which is a sign of seniority (all the casual people work nights and weekends except when replacing the permanent day staff --who will be on a lot of vacation this summer) they're training me on time-cards next week (another positive thing)

I just kind of wish there was less gossip in the office. Apparently it's common of office politics (Although, it's never been this bad at other place's I've worked) I've given up on trying to get on everyone's good side, I keep to myself and just tried to stay out of it as much as I can.

Starting on Tuesday, I work ten days straight (although I'm trying to remind myself, I'm used to working 2 weeks straight between the two jobs last year) AND I have 4 days of the long weekend off! (with a sweet paycheck!)

Anyway, that's pretty much it of my ranting and complaining. Except that I miss everyone, and haven't had any money to do anything or see anyone since i've been back. Looking forward to next friday, when that'll change :)

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Tuesday, April 24th, 2007
5:07 pm - My perfect weekend...
I feel like I've been wandering around in a euphoric daze all weekend. What a beautiful time of year this is.

Friday:

We had "Hot Pot". The evening was filled with beautiful conversation with friends, and house filled with the smell of earthy spices. Our tummies brimming with veggies and beer...

We decided that it was too gorgeous of a night to not go out, so we went to the regular student-clad haunts which were either dead or too busy. On the way back I suggested we check out this bar that's about a 15 minute walk from our house, which I had heard good things about. I fell in love instantly. It was 'towny' bar, that was had old cheap tables and chairs on the inside that looked like they hadn't been replaced since the 70's. There was a band playing, who were a bunch of older gents in their 50's. They wore handle-bar mustashes, old battered vests and western shirts, and cowboy hats with feathers. They were playing to a small crowd, but had the whole place going (and dedicated a song to us.. twice!) They played alot country and blues, some Bob Segar, which we got up in front of the bar and danced to. I knew if I didn't, I'd regret it. Later they played "When a Man Loves a Women" and A and J slow danced to it, it was so cute!

The whole place was just really relaxed and refreshing, and full of mostly students, but I had feeling a lot of them were kids from Peterborough. Ally gave a random upset girl in the bathroom a consoling hug, and we made small talk with the owner who bore a mullet. Also dancing in front of a bar full of people was something I don't think I would have done in a bar full of hipster kids.

Satuday

I went to bed at 4:30 the night before and had to be up to meet my friend T for 9:30 the next morning. I was up and ready, and answered the door to some Mormons, who promised me Salvation, which I politely declined. Instead, I sad on the front porch eating toast and drinking tea. T showed up shortly after, and we went to the farmers market. Outside the market there was a band of two older gentlement and two cute young lads my age. They were playing beautiful bluegrass music which T and I sat and listened to for a bit. The oldest gentleman came over to talk and he told us that it was a family band, he was playing with his son and his two grandson, which was really nice. We went in and shopped at all the crafters and farmers booths. I didn't have much money to buy things, but I did stop at this one guys booth. He owned a bee farm and was selling honey and candles and balm. I bought a hunk of beeswax, some lavender beeswax hand cream, and a big jar of honey for $7 (it was supposed to be a few dollars more expensive, but he gave me a deal) The handcream is heavenly and the honey is the most delicious honey I've ever had (i've been putting it tea, spreading it on toast, baking it in bread, ect.)

Following this we biked for about half an hour to T's house. It was gorgeous out, and we took the path beside the river. She lives in this little house-apartment thing, that reminds me of a cottage. We ate blueberry pancakes and studied for our Women's Studies exam all afternoon. We went on a hike near her house, and then she made me a fresh salad for dinner with garlicy buttered speghetti squash and veggies. I biked home afterwards feeling like I was gliding in the summery night.

Sunday

I had to really really cram for my Women's Studies exam, but it was so beautiful outside, so I went out into our backyard to study. A and J came out and attacked the backyard. It looks so great now, and they planted a garden full of herbs and vegetables and flowers (especially sunflowers --my favourite) We went out afterwards and got lots of yummy food for a BBQ.


~ So I had my exam on Monday (i think it went pretty well) and now, I'm officially done school for the year. It feels wonderful and a little sad. Sometimes I can't believe I actually pulled it off. I'm excited for this week, I don't go back till next week, and I feel like the rest of this week is a well deserved vacation. (Today S and I walked over to the pier near our house and played frisbee and blew bubbles and had a picnic) Hopefully more adventures to come this week :)

current mood: optimistic
current music: Ani

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Tuesday, April 17th, 2007
9:54 pm
Things are going well right now. It's beginning to feel like everything is concluding. I'm starting to feel more comfortable at school and in this new place, just in time for me to leave for the summer.

I've been having some doubts about my career choice. I've wanted, for a number of years to work in the social work field. It seemed like a good choice, because it's something I enjoy doing. As well, I'd ~love~ to have a job where I have the opportunity to help folks out and feel like I'm contributing a tiny bit to the betterment of this crazy place we live. I just feel like I don't think I'm very good at supporting people. I'm akward and shy and inarticulate. Aren't those the last things that social worker should be? I don't know. I guess I just feel like if I'm investing $50,000 into a career, that I should come out of it feeling confident that I can pull it off. I worry, that I perhaps should have followed through with massage therapy, or my dream to open an organic bakery/tea house, but that it's too late for that now. $10,000 already in debt. Sometimes the thought of owing that much money catches my breath.

Regardless, the summer is coming and I'm anxious for it. I've developed this new interest with ecovillages. (aka: Hippie communes ;)) I originally found out about a particular community in Missouri through an email Career services at the university sent out in regards to summer work (the community sounded absolutely incredible!) But I found, what seems to be, a really nice community just outside of Toronto. I considered working on it for the summer, but I still need to pay rent here, and I'm really excited to see folks back in Ottawa, that it'll have to wait till next year. Liz suggested as an alternative, that we do some WOOF-ing for two weeks at the end of the summer, which sounds just as amazing and exciting. So that will definitely give me something to look forward to.

Beside's career anxieties, i've been feeling really amazing lately. Comfortable sitting in my own skin. Something like that can be a rariety at times. I'm looking forward to the next few months ahead

current mood: optimistic
current music: silversun pickups

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Tuesday, March 27th, 2007
11:26 pm
What a wonderful day today! I woke up this morning and did some laundry and tidying. I compiled a spring-like funky outfit and hopped on my shiny red bike and rode on the path beside the river that goes through the middle of town. It smelled wonderful. I realized that I hadn't felt the warm glowing heat of the sun in about 5 months. I got to the women's center early for my depression group. No one showed up. Perhaps enjoying the beautiful day too?
I rode around some more, and stopped at my favourite place to eat in Peterborough called "The Planet". It's an organic bakery, but you can buy yummy lunches there. The back area has funky artwork on the walls, chili pepper lights, and faded paint. All the tables and chairs are circa the 1950's, and look like they've been salvaged at garage sales. Beautiful Cuban music was playing in the backround and I was eating an avacado, brie, lettuce, tomato, and sprouts sandwich on fluffy just-made flax bread with spicy curried potato and spinach soup. I was there doing readings, and some women from the women's center came in and I got to hang out with them and sit and drink tea and talk for the afternoon. Afterwards I biked home. It was downhill all the way back and I got to sit back and feel the wind against my face. The rest of the evening involved hanging out at home, with all the windows open. Feeling really great today and relaxed. I know I still have a lot of work ahead of me, but today was much needed, and resulted in a smiling Shannon.

My bedroom window is open and it smells like summer dusk and lost innocence

current mood: relaxed

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Thursday, March 8th, 2007
4:19 pm - If I can't dance, it's not my revolution! -Emma Goldman
Happy International Women's Day!!!

To the great wimmin in my life (and everywhere!)

Remember that you are strong, angry, passionate, beautiful, brilliant, and sensitive. A warrior, dancer, and giver of life, who taketh no bullshit and are capable of great things.

Because women's work is never done and is underpaid or unpaid or boring or repetitious and we're the first to get fired and what we look like is more important than what we do and if we get raped it's our fault and if we get beaten we must have provoked it and if we raise our voices we're nagging bitches and if we enjoy sex we're nymphos and if we don't we're frigid and if we love women it's because we can't get a "real" man and if we ask our doctor too many questions we're neurotic and/or pushy and if we expect childcare we're selfish and if we stand up for our rights we're aggressive and "unfeminine" and if we don't we're typical weak females and if we want to get married we're out to trap a man and if we don't we're unnatural and because we still can't get an adequate safe contraceptive but men can walk on the moon and if we can't cope or don't want a pregnancy we're made to feel guilty about abortion and...for lots of other reasons we are part of the women's liberation movement.

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