|
|
Tuesday, May 13th, 2008
| |
9:34 pm - All you need is me.
|
|
| Wednesday, April 30th, 2008
| |
12:28 pm - My loss is your gain.
|
Dudes! Listen, my new apartment is smaller and therefore has less storage space, so I unfortunately have to let go of a lot of stuff. The stuff is cool—mostly trinket-y things—and therefore shouldn't just be thrown away, so if any of y'all want some I am offering this deal:
For the cost of shipping (well, a little more to cover PayPal fees) I will send you a Priority Mail Flat-Rate Envelope full of stuff! The stuff is truly random (everything from Sanrio stationery to zines to vinyl stickers to magazines to DVDs to t-shirts), so if you get stuff you hate you can't be mad at me. I'm just going to fill up the envelopes willy-nilly, so if you live in the United States and want an envelope full of stuff, click here to send me $6.50 for shipping!
If you live elsewhere and want one, Priority Mail International Flat-Rate Envelopes are more expensive, so click here to send me $15.00 for shipping:
I really would just send them out to you guys without charging if I could, but cash is mighty tight these days. (Oh, and when I run out of stuff to send I'll delete this entry, and if you send shipping money after I've run out of stuff I will promptly refund you.)
I'm unpacked for the most part, so I'll be sending Etsy orders soon, so if you want a copy of my latest zine, cop that shit!
|
|
(6 comments | comment on this)
|
| |
1:18 am - My new favorite album...
|
|
| Tuesday, April 29th, 2008
| |
12:28 pm - Story of my life.
|
|
| Sunday, April 13th, 2008
| |
5:35 pm - Geezers need excitement!
|
|
Dudes! I'm kind of in between apartments at the moment and most of my stuff is in boxes, but if you want a zine sent to you as soon as I unpack (which I will start to do next week), you can order one from my Etsy shop! Awesome!
|
|
(5 comments | comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, April 9th, 2008
| |
12:17 pm - Feminine wiles: I don't have any.
|
I was pulled over last week because one of my headlights was out (Wallflowers style), and while the cop was writing out the "fix it" ticket I thought of all of the times (and there have been many) where various males I've known in my life have told me "girls don't get tickets."
Ladies, is this true for you?
Right after high school I worked at Domino's Pizza for a minute, and I distinctly remember my boss at the time (a dude) always wanting me to take late deliveries because, according to him, if I was caught speeding I wouldn't get a ticket. Um, what? He went on to tell me "no girl I've known has ever gotten a ticket—they cry, or flirt, or just get out of it because they are girls." I cannot imagine even trying to do this, not because I'm somehow "above" it or "better than" the girls who do, but because I COULDN'T IF I WANTED TO. I don't know how to do that shit! I don't know how to bat my eyelashes or fake cry or anything that could possibly get me out of any sort of trouble—I'm more likely to crack what I think is a brilliant joke only to have it come out wrong and offend whatever authority figure is reprimanding me, thus encouraging them to increase whatever punishment they are handing out.
At a recent photo shoot we were all talking and exchanging driving stories and one girl told us all about this horrific accident she was in that was 100% entirely her fault, but when the police arrived an officer took a liking to her and told the others some story that absolved her from all blame (something like "an animal jumped in the road and she swerved to miss it," which was not at all the case). He assured her she wouldn't get into any trouble and drove her home, and that was the end of it—she didn't even get any sort of ticket or anything! I asked if the cop asked her out or acted shady at all on the ride home, and she said no, which is surprising and unfortunately supports my old boss's cockamamie "girls don't get in trouble" theory.
A couple of weeks ago while in a loooong line for a movie screening Chip said "it looks like we might not get in, so go ask them what's up."
"Why do I have to ask?" I replied.
"You're a girl! They'll probably let us in if you do."
HUH?! How does that work?! "Look, I know there are hundreds of people in line for this movie, but I'm a girl, get it? I should be let in first, right?" I wasn't even wearing anything revealing, which is what is happening in movies when groups of girls are begging to get backstage; but it makes sense in that context, because the people backstage KNOW the ladies want to get in to give them BJs or at the very least HJs—in this case, the usher at the movie theater knows he's not going to get anything more than a polite "thank you" in exchange for letting me and my friend in first.
I don't really have a point other than this is all nonsense to me personally, and simply just "being a girl" has never gotten me out of anything, ever. If it's worked for you, please comment and give me some tips. I haven't gotten a speeding ticket since I was 17, so if I'm pulled over again I'd like to know how to at least attempt to get out of it, heh.
|
|
(21 comments | comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, April 1st, 2008
| |
10:42 am - Even though you know where I stand it bears repeating, heh.
|
R.E.M. is the best American band ever. Seriously.
I’m listening to their new album right now on my fancy headphones and it is AWESOME. I refuse to call it a "return to form" though because I don’t think R.E.M. ever really fell off—"Up" is great, "Reveal" is AMAZING, and even "Around the Sun" had its moments. Think about it: how many bands today even make good second or third albums? Barely any. R.E.M. has been pretty consistent for almost 30 fuggin’ YEARS. Respect.
I know I’ve got a weird loyalty thing going on because I’m from Georgia, because one of the first legit albums I got was "Green" on cassette when I was about 10 years old (a hand-me-down from a stepbrother—I definitely wasn’t cool enough at 10 to buy that myself), because I’ve had a crush on Michael Stipe for as long as I can remember liking boys, because I remember staying up late with Millie in 10th grade watching the "Can’t Get There From Here" video over and over on the "Succumbs" VHS, because for my 15th birthday I asked my mom to drive me to Athens so I could see all of the important landmarks in R.E.M. history, and because now, at 28, I will still go get the album at midnight the Monday before it’s officially released and sit here all day and listen to it intently on my headphones to absorb every note; but so what? That loyalty wouldn’t be there if the music wasn’t so good.
I’ll leave y’all with the lyrics to my favorite Pavement song, "Unseen Power of the Picket Fence":
There’s some bands I’d like to name-check
And one of them is R.E.M.
Classic songs with a long history
Southern boys just like you and me
R.E.M.
Flashback to 1983
"Chronic Town" was their first EP
Later on came "Reckoning"
Finster’s art...
Titles to match "So. Central Rain"
"(Don’t Go Back To) Rockville,"
"Harborcoat"
"Pretty Persuasion,"
You’re born to be a "Camera"
"Time After Time"’s my least favorite song
"Time After Time" was my least favorite song
The singer, he had long hair
And the drummer, he knew restraint
And the bass man, he had all the right moves
And that guitar player was no saint
So let’s go way back to the ancient times
When there were no fifty states
And on a hill, there stands Sherman
Sherman and his mates...
And they’re marching through Georgia
(They’re marching through Georgia)
They’re marching through Georgia
(G-G-G-G-Georgia)
They’re marching through Georgia
(They’re marching through Georgia)
They’re marching through Georgia
(G-G-G-G-Georgia)
And there stands R.E.M.
|
|
(4 comments | comment on this)
|
| Monday, March 31st, 2008
| |
3:34 pm - Just what we need: more social networking!
|
|
| Saturday, March 22nd, 2008
| |
10:17 pm - OMG I LOVE THIS BAND SO MUCH.
|
Dudes. DUDES! Just TASTE this: The Long Blondes - "Guilt". This isn't the first single, but I think it should be. ("Century" actually is, which I also peeped, and while I think it's also awesome it's not as accessible as this jam.)
Anyway, I CANNOT WAIT for the release of their second album "Couples." I'mma holler at that shit on import April 7th!
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, March 19th, 2008
| |
1:19 pm - PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT!
|
Billy Bragg will be playing the following North American tour dates to promote his new studio album, "Mr. Love & Justice":
05 June - St Andrews Wesley Church, Vancouver, Canada
06 June - Moore Theater, Seattle, WA, USA
07 June - Pacific Northwest College of Art, Portland, OR, USA
10 June - El Rey Theater, Los Angeles, CA, USA
11 June - The Fillmore, San Francisco, CA, USA
13 June - Cedar Cultural Center, Minneapolis, MN, USA
14 June - Park West, Chicago, IL, USA
17 June - Harbourfront, Toronto, Canada
18 June - Club Soda, Montreal, Canada
Get plane tickets if you have to, people. Serious.
|
|
(5 comments | comment on this)
|
| Monday, March 17th, 2008
| |
1:46 pm - Next week's cover: POSH'S BOOBS ARE FAKE!!!!!!!!!!
|
I cannot improve on Kelly's words, so I will just post her e-mail verbatim:
"OMG DUDE BREAKING NEWS!
http://www.usmagazine.com/michael_stipe
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! He's GAY. Holy shit, how could this be?! How did we never see it before? How did no one know?! This is totally front page news.....
....in 1985!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
If I had a job at Us Weekly, like I should, I would have been able to tell them that this tidbit wasn't exactly a scoop, heh.
|
|
(18 comments | comment on this)
|
| Monday, March 10th, 2008
| |
10:57 am - Trust me, I feel weird about this.
|
Okay guys... so I think I'm gonna try modeling. I know that sounds crazy, but I've had positive feedback on the pinup shoots I've done, and even the photographer I worked with and other professionals have been like "you totally should try this." Anyway, I figure I might be able to do this once in a while, freelance style—trust me, I know I can't make a career out of it or anything; I don't harbor any ridiculous delusions of being America's Next Top Model or whatever.
That being said, I've been setting up shoots with photographers and makeup artists who need to expand their portfolios and well, and entering a few pinup contests—being seen is the name of the game at this point. So, as cheesy as this all is (my goofy ass trying to be a model?! Yeah, my thoughts exactly), could you guys do me a favor? Could you vote for me in this one contest?
Click here and vote for me from every computer in your life: home, work, the one at the library, etc. (You can only vote once per IP address.)
I really appreciate it. (I entered a contest to be in a calendar, too, and will post about that when it happens. Maybe.) Here's my thank you gift: Manic Street Preachers covering Rihanna's "Umbrella." I know everyone has covered that jam, but theirs is the best.
|
|
(53 comments | comment on this)
|
| Friday, February 29th, 2008
| |
4:09 pm - Oooh baby, do you know what that's worth?
|
|
| Saturday, February 23rd, 2008
| |
2:11 pm - My favorite band, STILL. Forever & ever.
|
|
| Tuesday, February 5th, 2008
| |
9:18 pm - An Open Letter to Morrissey
|
 Oh, man. Morrissey. Dude.
Here's the thing: I love you. I will always love you. Unless you issue a statement in which you support the KKK or NAMBLA or something, I will love you. You're a genius. To steal a line from Jen Kirkman, you were my best friend in high school. Listening to you has made me smarter, has improved my vocabulary and my writing, and has opened my mind and encouraged me to think critically about the world around me. (I know it sounds ridiculous to say such a thing about a singer, but I really feel that it's true.) You've introduced me to movies, books, and authors I never would have sought out on my own, and following you around has made me a somewhat worldly and well-traveled person—not to mention all the friendships you inadvertently facilitated during those tours. On the shallow tip, you're just plain cool looking and for years influenced how I dressed and presented myself. You're also just straight-up BONKERS GOOD LOOKING, and I would hit that for DAYZ, boo. However...
I don't think I was ready to see your bare ass.
First of all, across the board, I don't see much appeal in the naked ass. Any naked ass—even the most muscular/toned or one attached to arguably the most attractive dude on Earth (that's you)—elicits this reaction from me: "eh." I mean, it's an ass; they all pretty much look the same to me. (I know that's just me speaking and that lots of other folks—gay dudes, Wreckx-N-Effect, Sir Mix-A-Lot, middle-aged secretaries—are big fans of the butt, but I had to get that out of the way. I'm not an ass fan in general, and even yours isn't changing my mind.)
Secondly, I'm not even sure how I feel about seeing this. When I first read about this photo being included in your latest CD packaging, I thought it was a hoax and laughed it off, but I think I was still secretly kind of excited only because, well, I guess I just want to see you naked on some level because I've lusted after you all these years. I mean, your genius comes first, but I'd also like to tap that. Who wouldn't? You're hot, plain and simple. But, I'm a girl, and even though I have had sex dreams about you (I know that's weird to hear, but I'm keeping it real) I'm not big on seeing pictures of just asses or just dicks or just ripped abs or whatever—you in a nice suit or even a nice-fitting t-shirt/jeans combo is far more arousing to me. So, upon seeing this picture of just your arse, I kind of went "WOW! YAY!... uh, wait." I was initially excited, but then I think I wanted to un-see it.
Why? Well, I have a complicated relationship with you—I know you're human, just like me, but sometimes I kind of forget that because you're so much smarter and cooler than any other person I've heard of. I'll read the stuff you say in interviews and it will just blow my mind to where I'm like "DAMN, this fuckin' guy's brain works on a WHOLE 'NOTHER LEVEL" and I kind of forget that, yes, you are still just some dude, really. I remember the first time I ever saw you live in 1997—as I watched you step off the tour bus I gasped and was taken aback because it was confirmation that you really existed, that you were a real dude and not just some, I dunno, manufactured Max Headroom-esque entity programmed to write the World's Best Lyrics and throw out the World's Wittiest Quotes in interviews. Anyway, seeing just your naked ass reminds me that a) you have one, therefore b) you take shits. Listen, I know that is incredibly juvenile of me, but sometimes I really do forget that you do the normal gross stuff that the rest of us have to do, like take dumps. It's unfortunate that a photograph you've included as part of the packaging of your latest release reminds me of that.
Also, dude, while I'm keeping it really real with you, let's talk about that HAIRY TAINT of yours—what the hell? Listen, you took the time to [get someone to] WRITE ON YOUR ASS CHEEKS (and yes, it is a clever pun on your own already clever pun), so you OBVIOUSLY knew you'd be using this photo for something down the line; why not take some clippers down under and do some trimming? Really. I'm not one of those people who thinks everyone should be smooth and hairless, but I'm also not trying to GET A GLIMPSE OF MY IDOL'S NUTSACK/BUTTCRACK HAIR. It's weird! My sex dreams never include possible dingleberries.
Where am I going with this? I don't know. I'm still confused about my feelings. While part of me is excited to see any part of you nude, part of me feels that it's just wrong. And my friend Millie said it best when she said "it never even occurred to me that Morrissey would have ass hair." I mean, it's not your fault we've built you up so much, but I guess there's just no way to be prepared for viewing the FURRY BUTTHOLE of the genius who wrote "There is a Light That Never Goes Out," you know?
I've already pre-ordered your "Greatest Hits" comp, though, and in a couple months I'll probably be past this and will have a poster-sized picture of your butt hanging up in my living room; I mean, you saw how quickly I forgave you for canceling that show I flew all the way to Miami for.
xo,
April
|
|
(28 comments | comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, January 15th, 2008
| |
11:32 pm - I'm breaking my posting-about-birthdays-only LiveJournal hiatus for this.
|
Guys, seriously, I really do think that Bob Odenkirk is quite possibly the funniest human being to ever walk the planet. Every time I see him perform I am in awe, and tonight was probably the best I've seen him do in the two years I've lived in this city. I can't stop laughing about the string of fake reality show titles he made up, particularly "America Can't Stop Dancing," haha.
I just wanted to say that, really.
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Sunday, January 13th, 2008
| |
11:59 am - Happy birthday, Altered Images steez.
|
|
| Tuesday, January 8th, 2008
| |
10:49 pm - The harsh truth of the camera eye.
|
|
| Friday, January 4th, 2008
| |
9:05 am - Think of others and the others will think of you.
|
Happy birthday to my #1 Stunna!
Love you forever, boo.
Also, it's Barney Sumner's birthday, which I must mention considering I've listened to Joy Division and New Order exclusively since finally seeing "Control" last week. While I like Joy Div (heh), I've always preferred New Order by miles; I just like Barney's voice better, really. After seeing the movie, though, I was inspired to revisit the JD back catalogue and I find I'm appreciating it more in my older age. (I have to keep it real—I still like New order better.)
|
|
(7 comments | comment on this)
|
| Monday, December 31st, 2007
| |
5:41 pm - Peace out, 2007! I'll miss you!
|
I say in all honesty and without hyperbole that I think 2007 was the best year of my life so far. (I mean, I'm sure the year I learned to talk and the year I learned to walk were pretty sweet as well, but since I can't remember the details they don't count.)
The oh-sevs properly started off for me with three Morrissey shows in Pasadena the first week of February, which were awesome not only because of the performances, but because I had the pleasure of meeting Alli and Jason; they not only became friends of mine, but also joined me at other shows. Yay Moz nerds! I then went on to see him 19 more times during the course of the year, with the best of those being the Palladium residency in October where I also made a bunch of great new friends. (Holler at my 10-pack bros!)
Speaking of great new friends, I met a dude named Chip this year and he quickly became one of my best friends. He introduced me to a lot of cool music and movies and even came with me to one of the aforementioned Morrissey shows (his first), which was awesome. Even in the short time that we've known each other we've done a lot of exciting stuff; in 2007 we saw lot of great shows and I acted as his (somewhat inept) tour guide on his first trip to England, which was probably the highlight of my entire year (and hopefully at least made it into his top 10, har). We wrote an awesome zine about it; if you wants one, holler back.
I was fortunate enough to go back over to England twice this year, once in March for the Beautiful South's farewell party (so much fun, but obvs bittersweet) and once with Chip in November; I relish any time I get to spend with my dear friends over there, so being able to see them twice in nine months is a huge deal that I don't take lightly.
Early in the year my friends Dave & Lucia made me some life-changing mixtapes (yes, I include well-made mixtapes in my year-end highlight reel), and those mixes introduced me to one of my now-favorite bands, the Long Blondes. I listened to their debut album more than anything else this year, and their show at the Echo was one of the best I'd seen ever.
I also got to see my friends Gravy Train!!!! twice, and Heather even moved back here which means HELLA COMEDY AND FUN TIMES in our futures.
All my dooz from Australia were up on our continent this year, too, with Darren Hanlon and the Lucksmiths having tour stops in L.A. and various surrounding areas, including an amazing night spent with Darren and friends in Joshua Tree walking around Pioneertown in the moonlight, and a lovely day spent with Mark, Marty, Tali, and Louis in scenic Santa Barbara.
Oh, the toppest of the poppest? Probably the THREE DAYS I SPENT WITH JARVIS MOTHERFUCKING COCKER, which redefines "mindblowing." I mean, seriously, if you'd have told 15-year-old April that she'd be kicking it with JC (he is not Jesus but has the same initials), she'd have called you a dirty liar before stomping off in her Doc Martens. Picking him up from the airport and driving him around and such while he was in town for Coachella is probably the coolest thing to happen to me in the last 10 YEARS, not just this one. He's awesome and sweet and hooked me up with free VIP Coachella access. My friend Andy is in my will for setting that whole thing up and inviting me along.
I also went home to Atlanta for a week in the summer and attended my 10-year high school reunion, which was actually quite fun. I got some award for "least changed appearance" or something, which I'm not quite old enough to appreciate—if I get it again at the 20-year reunion, I'll be pretty pumped. That trip also brought together two wonderful people in my life—Michael and Lindsey—and their continued happiness caps off an awesome year.
While some things did suck in 2007, I just met too many great people, saw too many great bands and comedians, saw a lot of great (new and old) movies, read a lot of great zines, and just witnessed too many great things to even mention the bad. If 2008 is even half as amazing as 2007 was, I'll be pretty jazzed.
Things I didn't do enough of in 2007 that I hope to do more of in Two-Thousand-Hate: keep in touch with people far away from me, answer mail in a timely fashion, make cool stuff (while I did finish the England zine, I'd like to write a lot more in 2K8), save money, sleep, stay home for extended periods of time, write actual jokes, and do some open mics. Wish me luck on all those, please.
I hope everyone has a kickass 2008!
|
|
(11 comments | comment on this)
|
| Friday, December 21st, 2007
| |
7:50 pm - Suck it, Zoolander!
|
|
| Thursday, December 20th, 2007
| |
9:06 am - It's officially World's Nicest Dude Day.
|
|
| Tuesday, November 27th, 2007
| |
12:27 pm - I stole this idea from Sarah Brown.
|
On my (exciting) lunch break I'm cleaning out some of the text messages still stored in my phone. Here are some recent ones:
Bid TV. Top quality at low prices.
1001 South Vermont! Ding Dong Dang! 2nd Floor!
The fuckin LOOP, brah. So crucial.
What did the turkey say to the Ramones? Gobble gobble hey!
I just saw a car with a Boyz II Men decal and a thing underneath it that said "the more U love, the more shit U eat"
Be sure to watch Splash, The Burbs, and Bosom Buddies for this glorious holiday.
i can't wait 4 yr shine, gurl.
Yeah I'm here. Thought you'd have lined up after work for this, Morrissey steez. Find me in the front row!
Hey doo, waitin on your ass! The party is me. Come!
They got two things: jack and shit. guess who just left town? (he'll be fine.)
Waiting 2 pick up my friend from surgery at cedars. they should have guitar hero or something in this lobby. snooze!
EXTRA linear please, my good man!
eek. hang in there.
I remembered! Do you have flour?
My mind's playin' tricks on me!
Whoomp. There it is.
control. ripple!
i love how the shop at home network has commercials for itself to take a break from selling stuff to talk about how they sell stuff.
4 real doe? YOU RULE MY LIFE.
By the way, the shows are confirmed to take place.
Dude shit is going dowwwwn
R U seeming scheming?
you have the best attitude. i'd kill someone.
dum dum dum dah dah dah dah. DUM dum dum dum dah dah dah dah.
I'm still laughing about the lollypop party at least 3 times a day.
The guest list is absolutely full for manchester unfortunately.
GO BACK RAPE HIM
Isn't it Ou Ca time?!
right on. text me if ya go. yes, we'll have textual relations.
Where you at?! boost mobile
Sorry for the weirdness.
The 12th of Neverary.
so far, theres no one who laughs as much as you
If you tolerate this, your chicken will be next.
The Rosa Parks of Fag Hags
Tru, boo.
CONFRONT THE BONER.
Shoot 'em all. Let God sort 'em out.
Haha WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF haha haha WTF! Oh man oh man oh man. I can't even think right now but seriously you are livin la vida loca.
I JUST PASSED THE FUCK OUT!!!!! FRENCH HIM FOR ME NOW!!!!!
Shit. Look I know shit's bad. But I'm gonna fix shit.
Do you and Chip fancy collaborating on a concept album about the trial of Fatty Arbuckle? I'll need American dialogue and voices. Seriously. (Kinda.)
|
|
(11 comments | comment on this)
|
| Saturday, November 10th, 2007
| |
12:29 pm - That's just the way it goes.
|
|
| Friday, November 9th, 2007
| |
10:16 pm - Home of the brash, outrageous, and free.
|
|
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
