:: is it just a dream ::

[ 24 June 2008 ] [ Tuesday ] [ 04:51 pm ]

785 : Cats and Vacation

Two things:

One. Michi's cat has been sleeping on top of their leather couch for the last couple of hours. He just FELL OFF and landed on the cushion, still lying down. O_O He made a cat-face, looked around in disorientation, then jumped off and wandered off to curl up on the safe carpet on the ground instead. xD That was WICKED.

Two. I just realized I never did link this here. O_o; THIS IS my blog for vacations. That's where I'll be logging my trip to Japan this fall. For now, it has the application process for Japan in one post, and a day-by-day account of my visit to Anika in Illinois in another post.

Okay, that's all.

Namaarie,
- D.

[ a brief bout with a razorblade ] [ 6 ] [ cut me ]

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[ 10 June 2008 ] [ Tuesday ] [ 09:15 pm ]

784 : Fangirl post

Want. ToT

Waaaaant. *purr*

*cries with Want*

This one just makes me laugh. xD

Okay. I'll go away now.

Namaarie,
- D.

[ a brief bout with a razorblade ] [ 6 ] [ cut me ]

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[ 04 June 2008 ] [ Wednesday ] [ 01:42 pm ]

BEN HAD A BABY!

BEN, THE COOLEST CHILD AND FAMILY STUDIES PROFESSOR IN THE WORLD, JUST HAD HIS FIRST BABY!

(Well, his wife actually gave birth, but you know what I mean.)

YAAAAY! *o* ::celebrates for him, even though I hate kids:: I can't think of anybody better-suited to be a father. ^o^~!

Namaarie,
- D.

[ a brief bout with a razorblade ] [ 0 ] [ cut me ]

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[ 03 June 2008 ] [ Tuesday ] [ 01:17 pm ]

781 : Liver, Japan, L.A., Catmares

01.liver
02.japan+LA
03.catmares

00.random
Argentine Children Murder Baby
O_O

01.liver
So, I get monthly blood tests. On my last regularly scheduled test, my ALT levels were a little too high, so the next week, I had another blood test done to see if it had been a fluke. Still too high. So I stopped taking my medication and went to take another blood test the NEXT week. I heard back from the hospital this morning, but I couldn't answer my phone so I don't know what the word is-- they just left a message asking me to call them.

02.japan
I got accepted into Kansai Gaidai... so I'm going to Japan! I know I'm happy about this-- I'm sure Chase, at least, is excited-- but I haven't really been feeling anything but tired. I'm pleased to go, and I have a distant worry for getting all the paperwork done, but I don't know. I definitely want to go, it's definitely a good thing, I just don't feel an energetic enthusiasm. I'm sure things'll be different once it gets closer to the date, though-- once I have my visa all in order and whatnot.
I will be leaving on August 28th to go from here to LA, then LA to Taiwan (WTF?), then Taiwan to Osaka. Date of arrival is August 30th, Saturday.
I will return on December 23rd from Osaka to Taiwan, Taiwan to LA (FOR THIRTEEN HOURS ToT Anyone live near LA who wants to hang out? Have dinner? Probably not, considering what the hours are. I'll arrive in LA 6:30 PM on December 23rd, and I leave at 7:32 AM on December 24th), LA back here. Date of return is December 24th, Christmas Eve.
I'll be keeping a blog while I'm away-- a separate blog specifically for the trip. I guess a link to that will be my sort of AFK message for here.
More on this as I figure it out.

03.catmares
For the past few weeks, I've been having this nightmare. It happens a couple of times a week. It's not the exact same nightmare every time, but a few things are consistent: it always takes place in the same dim apartment, there's always cats, there's always someone trying to get in with malintent, and there's a room in the apartment that's locked that nobody is supposed to get into.
The changing variables:
- Sometimes I'm a human who lives in the apartment.
- Sometimes I'm one of the cats in the apartment.
As a human:
- Sometimes I see the other cats. Sometimes I never see them but I know they're there, behind that locked door.
- I'm constantly afraid. I know people are trying to get in and I need to keep them from getting into that room but I'm afraid they will hurt me. I also dont't know what's in the room so I'm afraid of that.
As a cat:
- I never see the other cats, and I'm never in the room, but I know they're there.
- I still don't know what's in the room.
- I'm not afraid, but I am unhappy with the knowledge that people are trying to get in.
The people with bad intentions:
- They are always trying to get into the room.
- Sometimes they're after the cats.
- Sometimes they're after whatever else is in the room that the cats are drawn to.

And there's never any resolution. I keep waking up as they're coming in.

Namaarie,
- D.

[ a brief bout with a razorblade ] [ 18 ] [ cut me ]

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[ 12 April 2008 ] [ Saturday ] [ 11:01 pm ]

779 : A REAL update

01. Music
02. School
03. Sweeney Todd

--

01. Music
So, I apparently adore Morikubo Shoutarou's singing. Shikamaru has Orphen's seiyuu?! Cool. ^o^ "Ai Just On My Love" has been one of my favourite character image songs for a while, so that's pretty wicked. I don't care for the poppier character image songs he has (like "Born Again"-- that song is both dumb, annoying, AND makes him sound like shit), but songs like his own jrock songs with a touch of electronica = awesome. My favourite song is "Lazy Mind," I think. ♥
And to make it better, the one song I have sung by Neji's voice actor is also great fun. It's called "Angel" but it's not like, a sappy, sweet, glorifying love song or any BS like that. It's just... cool. I don't know how to describe what kind of song it is, though. ← *generally sucks at genres*

02. School
So, we're now a fifth of the way through the term. Since this is basically my final term, that is SO SCARY. ToT;;; Depending on if I go to Japan or not in the fall, I may or may not have to take one more class in the summer. But aside from that, I am so DONE, DONE, DONE.
And I am MORE than ready to be DONE, DONE, DONE.
I dropped the kobun class. Too scary. >_>
Ballroom dancing is interesting. O_o It's fun but weird. XD I'm not used to being so... CLOSE... to people to begin with. And it doesn't help that half my partners are taller than I am, which makes it really awkward for me to be leading them. I think I'll start wearing my tall boots to class from now on...
I'm going to be in a kyougen play. O_o;;; It'll be done in English, and I have a small role-- I'm only there in the beginning and the end. And my character (the Master in the play Busu) is much more mellow and formal, which is excellent-- if I had to play Taro, I'd fail. XD I'm not that outgoing.

03. Sweeney Todd
Kiler and I went to see the musical for Sweeney Todd last night! It was wiiiiickeeeeed. I actually like HBC better as Mrs. Lovett because she's so much more... curt, brisk? XD Exaggerated. It was fun. Although there were moments of absolutely ADORABLENESS by this one, overall, yay for Helena.
BUT. OH my god. TOBYYYY~~~ This Tobias was freaking AWESOME! And completely fucking crazy. XD Every time he would... uh... move... or speak or sing or anything, I wanted to melt a little. XD I couldn't see his face clearly because we had balcony seats, but oh my GOD, he was so cute! *squees some more* And by crazy, I mean quite literally. He both started and ended the show in a straitjacket. XD And he'd curl up and lurk around and have really jerky, sudden motions and I can't even EXPLAIN just how awesome he was to watch. It makes me want to watch it again just for him. ♥

Namaarie,
- D.

[ a brief bout with a razorblade ] [ 2 ] [ cut me ]

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[ 25 February 2008 ] [ Monday ] [ 10:32 pm ]

773 : Catch-up

01. There was a bit of brain in my ravioli. It's canned-effing-ravioli, what the hell? Okay, I don't know that it's brain, and it probably isn't-- but it's lumpy and weird, a different colour, a different texture. It doesn't cut like fat or gristle, or even regular flesh, but Jen and I maintain that it's a bit of brain. Gross.

02. I've turned into a Narutard. >_> Which is funny, 'cause I've still seen less than ten episodes of the anime, and the only parts of the manga I've read are Gaara's main chapter several years ago, and a bit on Kimimaro. I started getting into it because I was looking up some NarutoxHinata stuff for Kitsuko-- pictures, at least-- and that led to reading some fanfiction. Eventually, that obsession faded, but then I watched a few episodes that had Shikamaru, and-- instant love. Iiiinstant love for Shika-chan. And the ship I fell for? ShikaNeji. XD I don't know. It's adorable to me, and I've come across a few loooovely fics for it. And furthermore, they've actually inspired me to try my hand at writing fanfiction myself again. Which leads to..

03. This is NOT the time for me to be writing fics. I'm a little behind in schoolwork in terms of reading, but surprisingly, I'm mostly on track with the literature class-- it's psychology that I'm behind in, actually. And I keep looking down at the brain on my plate and feeling slightly queasy.

04. Brain flatlined. I'll update more if I can think of what to write.

Namaarie,
- D.

[ a brief bout with a razorblade ] [ 4 ] [ cut me ]

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[ 21 January 2008 ] [ Monday ] [ 03:37 pm ]

772 : Wartime dream

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

Namaarie,
- D.

Current Mood:

productive

Current Music: Vanilla Ninja - "Hellracer"

[ a brief bout with a razorblade ] [ 6 ] [ cut me ]

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[ 02 January 2008 ] [ Wednesday ] [ 08:42 am ]

770 : GW Dream

How very unusual for me-- I actually had a fandom dream. To make it doubly unusual, it had a consistent storyline! Well, kind of.

The Gundam pilots were on a mission, and Duo's role was to go first and sneak in, then leave them messages in certain garbage receptacles along the way. (Not that the GW pilots would ever resort to such insecure, crude measures for passing along messages.) Everybody was single at this point, as things like "relationships" weren't high on their priority list when it was still in the middle of the AC 195 war.

At night, the other pilots were following Duo's trail, and as a viewer of everything, I was reading a note from over one of their shoulders-- man, Duo's handwriting stinks. Almost as if he'd grown up on the streets. Oh, wait, he did. Ahahaha. ←@.@-

The first several messages were normal, pertaining to the mission. However, after several such notes, Duo started to get bored and write scribbly musings and crap. It was at this point that some part of my dreaming brain said, "Oh, so the name of this fic should be Stickies, because he's using sticky notes!" (Which he was-- they remained a recurring item throughout the dream.)

Somewhere along the way, Duo began getting tired, because his handwriting would get lazier, and stray comments about Heero would get thrown in here and there-- first just things about him as a soldier, then as a roommate, then personality traits, or Duo's perceptions thereof-- wondering how he could always be so intense, wishing he smiled more because he had too nice of a smile to keep it hidden away all of the time, how nice his hair always looked mussed whether or not he just woke up, how strong and sure he always was, etc.

Inevitably, these inserted ramblings began feeling less and less like curious observations and more and more like a crush, which Quatre teased an astonished, bemused Heero for. In their own way, Trowa and Wufei teased him-- it was like, one quiet, snarky, sidelong comment each.

Trowa had to leave for work then (O_O;;; He worked in some nice women's clothing boutique), and Wufei went off for a different part of the mission, so it was just Heero and Quatre reading along Duo's rambly, poorly-written notes to finish their part of the mission. The next message just after Wufei and Trowa were gone had an offhanded comment about Wufei liking Trowa, which is weird because I massively prefer 5x4 over 5x3. I've never really thought about 5x3 before, although I'm used to them being good friends in fics, so that was weird of my subconscious.

Then the dream skipped over to Duo visiting Trowa at the clothing boutique. The mission was over, and he and Heero and hooked up, and Trowa had just heard from Quatre about the part of the messages that Wufei liked him. When Duo showed up, he just dropped something off for Trowa and was leaving, but Trowa stopped him, looking uncharacteristically nervous. It wasn't like he was jittery and blatantly anxious, but his eyes were wide and unsure, and when he tried to speak, his words were hesitant and uncertain. He asked Duo, "wait, what's these about notes, and Wufei...?"

Since he was embarrassed that he'd gotten so tired and distracted and bored that he'd been writing such personal notes, and knew Wufei was going to come kick his ass any day now, Duo tried to just laugh it off and flee, but Trowa held him firm until admitted that yeah, Wufei had a crush on him, but please don't say anything about it to anyone because Duo didn't want to die, and if Wufei killed Duo, Heero would have to kill Wufei, and let's not get into that cycle. ^^;

The end of the dream after that had Trowa approaching Wufei meditating in what looked like an old, Japanese dojo, despite Wufei being Chinese. Wufei was hovering about a foot off the floor in the lotus position, meditating. (... Um.) When Trowa entered, even though he was dead silent, Wufei could feel his approach due to his meditative state, where he was aware of the air pressure in any part of the building. Trowa's disturbance in the pressure felt nervous, but not threatening, and Wufei just knew instinctively who the disturbance was, so he let Trowa come all the way up to him and put a hand on his shoulder. It was then that Wufei finally opened his eyes, but remained hovering still as he asked what Trowa had come for. Trowa quietly recounted how Quatre and Duo and told him that Wufei was interested in him, which made Wufei tense up. He tried to deny it without actually denying it, as he was too honourable to lie, but Trowa saw through that, turned him around-- which was weird, as he was still hovering-- and kissed him.

Then I woke up. It was still about 5:30, but I couldn't fall asleep again after that-- I just brought my alarm clock over and stuck it under the covers to muffle its sound, while leaving it on in case I did drift off again and sleep through when I was supposed to get up.

What the hell?! I didn't even get to see Heero and Duo kiss! The dream skimmed right past the couple I adore, and gave all the details of this pairing that I don't care about!

Anyway. The end.

Namaarie,
- D.

Current Mood:

confused

Current Music: Sweeney Todd soundtrack

[ a brief bout with a razorblade ] [ 8 ] [ cut me ]

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[ 27 December 2007 ] [ Thursday ] [ 09:11 pm ]

769 : Sheri Elsworth

That was weird. I just fell asleep for about two hours, and had a dream where I was a stalker.

In it, I lived in a small house, and across the street, there lived a family in a beat up, run down, pathetic excuse for a house that always had busted up cars in the front yard. There was a girl who lived there named Sheri Elsworth, whom I had never met, but I developed a fixation on.

(Extra creepy? I have a coworker named Sherri Ellsworth that I've never met in person.)

Twice, I worked up the nerve to call her. I didn't want her to track my cell phone, so I called from my house phone. Nobody answered either time, which was a relief. (You'd think if I didn't want anyone to answer, I wouldn't call, right?) I have no idea how I got her phone number.

Even in the dream, I consciously worried that she was really ugly, and I was making a fool of myself. She was also, like, in early high school or something.

There was a block party one evening, and her dad invited us over for dinner, so I nervously went. He'd finally managed to get rid of the cars in the front lawn, so all of a sudden, his house was bustling and lively, but large and clean. O_o

And there, finally-- finally-- I met Sheri. And she was young, of course, but she was adorable, too-- petite figure, but healthy rather than super thin-- short, brown hair cropped in a kind of spiky haircut-- wide, brown eyes-- a small, shy smile. So all of a sudden, I was really glad that I was stalking her. (Pffft. Wtf.)

Then my friend, Boeis, apparently lived there, because she was eating dinner with us and checking her cell phone for voice messages. I suddenly got really nervous, because I hadn't realized she lived there, or that the number I'd been calling was a cell-- so it would have kept track of the phone number of the missed call. I was worried she had my home phone saved into her address book, and it would identify me.

There were seven messages. Two of them were messages to get back to later, three were telemarketers, and two were-- of course-- from a random phone number, looking for Sheri Elsworth, but not having left a voice mail. (... So how did she know I was looking for Sheri?) She didn't recognize the phone number, though, so I was relieved. Sheri seemed kind of unnerved at the idea of a stalker-caller, but since it had only been those two calls, with no message, she let it slide.

Then I woke up.

Namaarie,
- D.

Current Mood:

restless

[ a brief bout with a razorblade ] [ 0 ] [ cut me ]

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[ 12 December 2007 ] [ Wednesday ] [ 05:59 pm ]

768 : Wowz.

Well, today turned from fine to to suck in less than an hour.

The workday was fine, if short. After work was the problem.

I went to the bus stop, and didn't even feel cold-- wow. Weird. Then the bus 54 showed up early, so I thought, awesome-- right? It didn't even look that crowded. So I got on, and the bus driver didn't say anything, and whatever.

It didn't look crowded because nobody was standing up-- not a big deal. Everyone had a seat. But then some punk kid with headphones blaring and sunglasses on had his big-ass instrument taking up most of his lap, extending to the next seat, and had his backpack on the rest of the seat, and he wouldn't move. I guess it would have been more forward to be like, "Hey, move your shit," but nobody did-- everyone would just lean in, or glare at him, or make annoyed noises, but he'd ignore them all. So I just stood.

That was mistake #1. With so many people on the bus-- as by the next two stops, the bus was packed-- I started feeling lightheaded and too hot. I took off my gloves and unbuttoned my coat, but couldn't remove it without stabbing someone in the process. All windows were closed, and the fucking heat was on, and I felt like I was going to fall over.

By the time my vision began to play tricks on me and act fuzzy, a mother and her kid finally got off the bus, and I was able to sit down. I bolted into the seat and shrugged off my coat and took my inhaler and started to feel better shortly thereafter. Still felt a little woozy-- still do-- but whatever.

Rode the bus for a while, would glance out the window from time to time to make sure I knew where I was. Then, one time I looked up, I didn't recognize where I was. A New Seasons popped into view, though, which was good and bad-- good because that's en route, but bad because I was on the wrong fucking side of it. I don't know if the bus driver flaked out and took the 56 route instead of 54-- because that's where the two bus routes diverse, and I've had a bus driver do that before-- or if he just didn't fucking realize his bus number said 54, but he was taking the 56 route. And by the time I realized that, it was my stop (at least the 56 still connects to the road I need-- it just is a long, dark, less-than-safe path home via that way) so I had to scramble to get off in time.

I got off and started walking home. Now, neither side has sidewalks or stoplights. The left side, however, is mostly fairly even ground, whereas the right side will occasionally break into a dry ditch. So naturally, I always walk on the left side. Today, partway through, a fucking UPS truck was sitting on the left side, directly blocking the walking space and most of that side of the road, so traffic was having to veer around it. Eventually, I had to cross to the other side to get past.

So I'm walking along, and just after I get past the truck, it drives off. Asshole.

I thought then that I should cross back to the other side, but by that point, I was near enough to the apartment that I figured, whatever. Right? Right. Sure.

As soon as I thought that, I felt a sharp pain in my right ankle as the ground gave way, and I fell into a ditch. There was no walking space whatsoever, so after I could stand up and put any weight on that ankle again, I had to walk in the ditch until the end of it, about ten yards away or so. When the ditch ended, there was still no walking space, so I had to wait for six cars to go by before the coast was clear, and I could limp out of the ditch and hobble my way down the road until finally, walking space appeared. Which was fortunate because by that time, right at my tail was a car.

So I got home. (Note that this involves climbing a short flight of stairs.) I can breathe better now, but my ankle still hurts, and I'm caught between writing letters to people, working on a drawing, or working.

Oh, that's the other thing: I got a job. Another one, I mean. It's *awesome*. It's at home, I keep track of my own hours, I don't have a minimum or maximum to work each week, and it's just data entry at $10/hour. The job? I have to type up the contents of a 349-page thesaurus into Excel. But I only need the synonyms, not the antonyms, so that cuts down about a third or a quarter of the work. Not bad. Not bad at all. And it's under the table, so hurray-- no taxes!

Okay, I'm going to go change into comfortable clothes and think what to do. Byeee.

(ZOMG! A REAL ENTRY?!)

(... I want a permanent account. Fudgebuckets. I should have bought one the last time LJ sold them-- my account's expiring in two months, and my dear avatars are expiring in 12 days. T_T)

Namaarie,
- D.

Current Mood:

aggravated

[ a brief bout with a razorblade ] [ 2 ] [ cut me ]

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