[Filter: Vince]

Second one down, then.

Yawn. This is really almost like spearing fish in a barrel. You'd think they'd be smart enough not just to follow you off into the dark alley.

I am want to formally complain. Add some challenge! If one of them even pulled a knife on you before his nek sprouted feathers, that would make it a little more satisfying~ Really.

[Filter: Vince]

And that's one down. Mission phase one: success!

Is there anywhere to stash the stiff down there? Shadowy alcove will do the trick, though I suppose I shouldn't give you advice on hiding evidence~

I have to pass that busy road with the cinnamon bun smell to get to you from here, and until all the evidence is gone, that's probably not a great idea. Guards like to follow me around, even when I have my bow. I think they assume I need protection~

[Filter: Vince]

Okay, now, serious business here, Vince~

We really need to do something about this. Now, I know you know that as well as I do, but I think we need to confront this head-on and find a solution. There's a reason the Bitchtress of Spies assigned us as partners, you know, and so long as your movements are hampered, like this, there's really only so much I can do. This was so damned touch and go even with both of us. I don't need to tell you it's been a two months since we managed much of anything constructive, and Julian and His Majesty are actually relying on us.

So, let's brainstorm. There are two ways to solve this, the way I see it. First way, we manage to shake these bounty hunters. Second way, we manage to shake the bounty. Third way, we find a way to work with both of them intact.

Any ideas? I vote we don't even lift our heads from these books until we've fixed this, and if I miss fireworks in three days because of it, I'm going to be cranky, and you won't like me when I'm cranky~

[Filter: Vince]

Ways To Get Rid Of Stalkers Who Are Seriously Cramping Our Style

- get money wired from Norey and just pay them off for more than they're getting from Wilma's dad
- kill them
- hire someone else to kill them (still requires getting money wired from Norey)
- poison them (same as killing them but more detailed ... yeah and also requires money for the poison)
- seduce them (not sure what this would help but it works in books, inexplicably)
- spread demoralizing rumours about what a badass you are in a fight
- spread rumours that cause them to fight amongst themselves and leave you alone
- hide (not different from current plan and interferes with mission objectives, but cheapest and most effective)
- disguise ourselves and make up new fake names (if we do this, I want a wear a fake mustache.)
- report them to city guards under false charges (likely to get us in trouble, but could be amusing coming up with suitable false charges)

Those were the best ones I could come up with, sorry.

[Filter: Private]

So, he had a birthday, hm~?

... annnd I can't believe that's the main thing on my mind. Mydra would probably fire me if she could read thoughts, and I think we should all be praying thanks that she can't.

Hm. We're really not accomplishing too much down here, lately, now are we? This bounty is really starting to get annoying. There has to be something ...

[Filter: Julian]

Well, I'm sure that could have done worse. Somehow. Like, if she were capable of reaching hands out and punching or strangling via journal ... that would have been slightly worse.

[Filter: Private]

Atsirians. Right.

I'm just going to tell Mom that I want to pick out some jewelery, and she really can't say no to that. It's just the market.

Dragons, and I thought she was bad before the riots and the misery.

[Filter: Private]

Atsirians. Right.

I'm just going to tell Mom that I want to pick out some jewelery, and she really can't say no to that. It's just the market.

Dragons, and I thought she was bad before the riots and the misery.

[Filter: Private]

Wonderful, now that this ridiculousness is done with, maybe I can do my job.

[Filter: Public]

Well, it was a dud.

Who called that~?

Well, my friends are all either somewhere else, busy, or dead, Lester has no friends, the timing is so inappropriate it's pretty embarrasing, and the best cook has suddenly come down with a killer rash, so he is not touching any food~

I'd say the party sounds like it's going to be a total mess, except that this is a very nice dress. Focus on the positives. Right.

[Filter: Private]

You know, Mom, I don't have time for this! I'm a spy in Lady Mydra's network, and there are people in Norey who tried to kill Prince Julian's bodyguard, and I'm trying on party dresses.

[Filter: Public]

You'd think Lester would be more than happy to steal the thunder, but no~ No, he has to share~ Far too well brought up. I'm begging him to steal the thunder, and he insists on sharing. Dragons.

Well, Julian, I've found a dress that says both "I'm rich and fabulous and powerful" and "I have totally fantastic breasts" at the same time, which I think is just about perfect~ So I'm just waiting for this fantastic, classy ride you've promised to come get me in, which had better be here before those rainclouds make due on their promise and open up, because believe me, that's going to ruin my hair!

See the sort of company I rub elbows with when you're not around, Vince? No wonder my mother thinks you're a ruffian in comparison. (This is me seeing how drunk you are, and also if you can be baited when you are!)

If she thinks I'm going to waste Fuck You Dentoria Day on her, she's got another thing coming~

Juuuuuulian, if she could possibly find something more interesting to do that day that just may be engineered by someone who's got the power to do so, that would be great. That would be really great~!

Argh! Does she like me? Does she think I like her? I can't understand why she suddenly wants to be the best of friends? Wilma, dear, I honestly don't like you! You remind me of ... I don't know, northerners, in the worst way.

Maybe I should stop bathing. That may give her some incentive to bugger off. Dragons.

Oh, how wonderful! It seems lovely Lady Wilma thought I was just a joy at her little party last week, and now she wants seconds! Invitation to go riding? This is Norey, dear, you don't go riding, you go ... I don't know, partying. Swindling! Comitting large scale, elaborate, well-hidden crimes to make yourself look good. All right, there's certainly more than that in Norey, and I blame my current state of mind on not being able to come up with any of it, but honestly, riding?

And what do I say? "No, you drive me bananas?" Something tells me that's just not going to work~! And she's a Councillor's daughter, so I need to be nice to her so her father stays nice to mine and blah blah blah blah blah.

Someone just shoot me and we can end all of this misery right now. Any takers?

Well, I do believe I deserve a round of applause! I went to the party, and it was predictably terrible~ Wilma is as stupid as ever. I personally blame that on her parents naming her Wilma. Dragons, that's an awful name. Her mother and my mother should organize a conference for parents who intend to give their children issues by sheer force of bad names.

Mom was of course thrilled. Britt's out being a lady with suitable friends for her class and station, not traipsing around with bad influences like Fayre or that ruffian who works at the Palace who's always hanging around~ Here that, Vince? You're apparently always hanging around.

She's determined to scrub everything that comes near me free of anything resembling Norey! It's like I'm living in a wet, hot, rocky Eblar. In fact, that's way too generous. Lucre, even. But uglier!

[Filter: Private]

Right. Look miserable. Well, that's not difficult!

[Filter: Public]

I've split so many arrows today I think I might have cut down an acre of forest up there in Hanalan. And I've given myself one heck of a blister. It's a good thing it's too much work to successfully shoot myself! That's looking a little bit tempting.

[Filter: Vince]

Norey makes me a hell of a useless partner. Sorry.

[Filter: Private]

Bah.

... And I should probably write more to justify this waste of paper. Or not~

Whose idea was it for him to try to learn to violin? Why didn't they just kill me outright, instead of dragging it on like this? What was wrong with the piano?

Dragons, my poor ears. Sigh.

[Filter: Vince]

What's up~?