[Filter: Private]

... I'm going to need to ask her to

... Dragons, I can't.

[Filter: Private]

For the person who I should be with, I get a bunch of lies ... for the person I shouldn't, a promise of eternal love.

Dragons help me ...

... he makes it sound so cut and dry, so simple, but ... well, I can't just marry her. That's a promise before the Dragons, not to mention something that lasts forever. A commitment to lie for the rest of our lives, I just can't ...

I'm not Destin. I wouldn't be able to hide it forever.

I miss wanting to be near her, talking ...

I don't want to think about this. Not today. It's the Festival.

... I hope he likes his gift. Everyone, but especially him.

[Filter: Public]

Haha, er, I see some people have been writing about it already, but I don't think you can ever have too many well-wishes, ah, personally, and ...

Well.

Happy Festival, everyone!

Er, Ally, I need to come over later to give you your gifts, and see you ... ah, I don't want to interrupt anything you might have planned with Sister Darcy, or anyone else, so, er, I ...

When would be a good time?

[Filter: Private]

She's so happy and this is all a lie.

I shouldn't --

[Filter: Destin]

I shouldn't be doing this to her.

[scrawled quickly]

Er, Ally, sorry, we're just about to leave, packing has been utterly crazy, I just want you to know, we should be there by the end of today ... maybe tomorrow morning, haha

I'll come see you as soon as I'm set up at the manse

[Filter: Private]

I ... do miss her. Not that seeing her will help it, becuase I don't ... I don't miss the her that I left in Lucre. I miss just talking about anything and being friends. I miss not dreading being around her ...

What was I thinking, trying to use her to make myself into something that

What am I going to do?

[Filter: Destin]

... I need to leave for a bit. Back to Lucre ...

[Filter: Destin]

... I suppose I've avoided asking this on purpose, so far, but it's on my mind all the time, these days. Er, I don't ... you know I don't like knowing that's going to happen. I liked to have plans, and ...

I just ... want to know what now. What's the ... plan, I suppose ...

[Filter: Private]

I miss

I should do something nice for her birthday.

[Filter: Private]

At least I've gotten a lot of work done.

[Filter: Destin]

... I miss you.

And, er, I hope you and Maire are ... actually enjoying yourself. ... or

[Filter: Private]

... sigh.

After everything ... knowing for so long and not really caring, why am I jealous, now? I know she means nothing to him. I feel bad for her. I just ...

I suppose it's just ... she's with him in front of people, living with him, and it's all right, for her. It's ... it's all right. It's normal. People are happy for them and congratulating them, and even though it's all just a lie ...





I never asked for any of this.

Dragons, everything is so busy ...

Er, Destin, William wanted me to tell you that he and Sheila may be a little late for the reception, they, er, have to duck out between that and the wedding ... but I'm sure he only means five minutes, or ... er, or less, really ...

[Filter: Ally]

... Er. And, ah, I realize this is ... very short notice, but ... would you like to ... accompany me, to the wedding? I won't be able to sit with you for the ceremony and might be occupied for the reception, but ... er, maybe we could ... go for a ride through the city, afterward ...?

[Filter: Private]

... I'm over my head, with her. So over my head. I don't know what to do, I don't know if I have any choices. This is so wrong, everything is, and I ...

I need to know ...

Haha, pathetic ...

[Filter: Sister Maire]

Er, you must be getting very excited. The wedding is so soon ...

[Filter: Private]

It's nice to be back, and to not be fighting anymore. It really, honestly is ... Home doesn't feel like home anymore, and it hasn't for a long time. Whatever corruption is here in Lucre, there's also so much good and it's such a beautiful place, and I'm ... used to it.

And Destin ... even if he's spending so much time with Maire and Elizabeth and the wedding, it's nice to see him. ... ah, it's actually probably a good thing that he's so busy, I ... can't help but think that he'd be more ...

I ... need to be happy with where I am. It doesn't matter what we're doing, I should be ...

This is what I have. Destin and whatever this is between us. I love him, that's what matters. That's what I have.

Haha ... that and a lot of work to do. I should probably stop writing.

[Filter: Private]

I should

I wonder if he even cares.

I miss him. What does it matter? Maybe he is right about all of it? Maybe this is just how it goes. There's other sins, other sins that I don't feel nearly as bad for, maybe this isn't about the Dragons at all, maybe this is about me.

I ... I want to be happy.

I miss him ...

[Filter: Private]

I hate seeing him upset and not saying anything. I hate ... fighting, with anyone, but with him, especially. I should just ... just end this. He won't, I know that. He never would, he never does, with anyone. It'll need to be me, but ...

At least I'm on speaking terms with my father, again. That only took ... half a year. Dragons ...

I really should say something. I need to.

[Filter: Private]

Ugh, it's been a month, almost. I should talk to him, at least. I should. ... and I should have at least talked to Ally before I just left Lucre like that.

Maybe he's right about all of it.

[Filter: Private]

I shouldn't be lying to her like this. Visiting her ... kissing her ... buying a rose. Haha, and I'll give it to her, too. Of course I will ...

Ally ... Ally, I'm sorry. You're so sweet and wonderful and you're so much better than what I'm doing to you. I wish I could

And what use are apologies I'll never give her? What good is writing it down and telling myself it's wrong to do this when I'm just going to do it anyway?

[Filter: Ally]

Er, Ally ... I ... I probably shouldn't need to ask, but, er ... will there be time for me to pay you a visit on the fourteenth? Haha ...

[Filter: Private]

... Rose Day's coming. Dragons, that's simply going to be ... strange.

It's such a lie to continue with her like this, but I know it would break her heart if I let her down. Destin says she's always been ...

There's really no right thing to do.

He We ... where can this possibly go?

[Filter: Ally]

Haha, I'm sorry I haven't visited lately ... how have you been?

[Filter: Public]

My prayers are with those in Cleraine.

[Filter: Destin]

... I love you.

[Filter: Private]

He ... comes here, every other day, and ... and we ...

We're not doing anything, and still I feel as if I'm living in sin. I am living in sin. I don't want to stop. ... Dragons forgive me ...

I should go home. I'm doing all of this work by correspondance anyway, it would be be ... I should ...

Haha, I don't want to be away from him. I don't want to stop.

What did I ever do to deserve this ...? I can't help my feelings. I can't help it. What did I do to deserve to live in torture?

I won't leave the city ... I know I won't ...

Haha ... I'm pathetic.

[Filter: Public]

I'm actually very much looking forward to the Day of Everlasting Darkness services. It should be ... ah, well, very nice, I think, yes ... very nice.

[Filter: Private]

This is all too fast, too much, too --

as it wasn't enough to just love him, to have him love me back, for us both to know! As if that wasn't completey --

[Filter: Destin]

We shouldn't have done that!!!