sad songs and waltzes...

Time:

4:19 pm.

our neighbor was sent to new orleans today. she's a nurse with the cdc and had been on call since friday. i can't even begin to imagine what she is going to see. all the reports have seemed so surreal--i was just there. it's insane to think about how incredibly devastated the entire city is now. the whole situation has been so horrifying and the completely inadequate response of fema and the lack of priority given to rebuilding the levees for the past however many years is disappointing to say the least. i sort of feel like we all failed new orleans in a way. if nothing else, this is a huge argument in favor of pork barrel funding.

i guess that's all i have to say about that for now.

the svu marathon on usa is killing me. i think i'm in hour 4 or something now. i knitted 11 or so miserable rows on the wristwarmers i had been trying to make all summer. i decreased from 12 to 11 stitches after 10 rows and i haven't been able to get a consistent knitting and purling pattern down. so they're a bit screwed up. whatevs.

i'm out.

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Subject:	asjkfboisdhflaskndflkasnfaslf!!!!!!
Time:	1:40 pm.
Mood:	crazy.

so, i shipped all my shit here, and one box--the biggest one!--says that it was delivered but yet it is not here. i am greatly vexed by this. what i'm hoping happened is that the driver scanned it on the truck and then forgot to get it off the truck. because any other explanation is unforgivable. it has the rest of my summer clothes, all my new dvds, and my air mattress. all can be replaced, but for a price, and since i had to pack in a hurry and mom didn't know what was in the box, and well, we've never had this problem before, we let it slide with the $100 insurance that's included.

um. i had over a $100 of DVDs in there alone. shit shit shit shit.

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Time:

2:24 am.

ok, so can we talk for a minute about how stoked i am about the fact that chris walla's picture is next to the link to the dcfc article on cnn.com? even if i don't really like their new album all that much, or at least not when i think about their other albums, death cab is still great, and chris walla will always be my imaginary indie rock boyfriend.

in other news, i went to the bronx zoo today, and all but 2 of my boxes came, and i now have a printer and books and pictures and posters...i'll have to take pictures because sara and i have quite a nice room. and when i was putting my picture of oliver in the frame, i cut the shit out of my right index finger, meaning that my obligatory moving-in cut has been taken care of for the year.

and my friends, namely sylwia and kristin, are just embarking on their semesters abroad, and i'd be lying if i said i didn't wish i could go with them and do it all over again. so amazing.

but here i am. in new york. poor me.

and i have to sleep. this is all too much for me.

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Time:	11:26 pm.
Mood:	sleepy.
Music:	"say goodnight (clap clap)", jump, little children.

i am fucking exhausted, after an exhilarating night of uploading shit onto my ipod. namely my fall schedule. between it and my sweet-ass filofax, i am set. i think this might be the first time in history that a filofax has been described as sweet-ass. but it is. who would have ever thought... i think my favorite detail is the button.

and in other exciting news, my boxes should come tomorrow!!!! i'll have belongings! clothes! shoes! dvds! books! paper clips! post-it notes! and i got the weirdest pants today...they're brown with a tan and slight green stripe, but they wrap and tie, and i'm not quite sure i know how to wear them. but they're kind of itchy. i decided that for $9.99, itchy is ok. i also did my first bit of shopping at h&m. a green shirt to wear with the pants and a skirt for the fall and a green knit sweater thing. yup. a sweater thing.

alright. time for me to call it quits. sleeeeeeep!

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Subject:	the joy of flossing
Time:	10:53 pm.
Mood:	sleepy.
Music:	hmm...nothing actually.

ok, people. aside from getting a manicure and pedicure today, the biggest excitement i've had as of late is that my new planner arrived. after looking around, i decided to invest in a filofax, and while i didn't get one with a leather cover, i did get the absolute best planner ever. the style name is belle, and well, gee...my only qualm is that i underestimated how small it would be. it's cool though. i can order notepaper to fill in the gap. one isn't that much larger than the other.

yup.

i went to the dentist today, and i got yelled at again for not flossing enough. i don't respond to people being preachy all that well. some of you may have noticed. i'm not stupid. i know what the consequences of not flossing are, but truthfully, most nights by the time i'm ready to go to bed, i don't even think about flossing until the next morning. even when i set the floss out. i'm 3/4 asleep before i even get to bed. it's really pretty pathetic. i've started to put my face wash stuff on my toothbrush. i've started brushing without wetting the brush. it's a miracle i even stay awake long enough to brush my teeth and wash my face at night. it's irritating because it's not my intention, but that's generally the way things work with me. i'm awake until i pass out.

so, the moral of my sad tale of woe, is that i have purchased a reach flosser thingy that will put in the toothbrush holder in the hopes that i will see it before i pass out. if that doesn't work, i will start flossing in the morning. it's better than not flossing at all, i say.

i have to find a new dentist over the next year though because i'm not giving those bastards the satisfaction of knowing i changed a habit, lest they think they had anything to do with it. if anything, people doing shit like that only makes me more settled in my ways, and i won't do it any sort of way. cutting off my nose to spite my face, i know, but it helps me sleep at night.

also the dentist has a chunky gold bracelet that freaks me out. it's like a chain, but the links are like the size of quarters. and it's ugly. i thought it might be for arthritis, one of those magnetic things, but no. i looked today, and it is most certainly not for arthritis. he likes it. something must be wrong with him. clearly it's him, and you know...not me.

i've had an exciting day of lectures and planners and stuff, so i'm going to begin working in the direction of sleep. kiki has already gone to sleep, so i guess that means i'm supposed to follow. oh, how i will miss my baby kitties. even though kiki is 90 in cat years, and thus is not technically a baby anymore. whatevs.

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Subject:	aaaahhhh!
Time:	10:32 pm.
Mood:	sleepy.
Music:	law and order on the telly.

1. i feel like i'm taking crazy pills.
2. this has nothing to do with my purchase of zoolander on dvd.
3. my family has finally moved into the 20th century. yes. the 20th century. for the first time in family history, we will *gasp* pay for a television service. there will be a satellite dish and 3 receivers (one of them with DVR!) at our service in a day or two. sweet jesus!
4. this makes me realize i need to get tivo for my room at school, especially if now meetings are going to be on tuesday evenings (also known as the "the world stops at 8 p.m. for the gilmore girls" evening).
5. i think i've already loaded up the hard drive on ibrooke with my music and so forth.
6. while in macy's earlier, i decided to spray a little of a perfume i like(d) on my wrist and ended up getting a bath in coco mademoiselle. guess i'll never be wearing that again. i also guess i'll be taking a shower before i go to bed.
7. i got a gorgeous brown wool coat today. already on sale. man, i love buying things for half price before everything gets picked over. now to see if i can find it in black...
8. in reading this, i'm realizing that i lead a pretty pathetic existence that seems to revolve around tv, macy's, and zoolander.
9. i spent 2 nights at my grandmother's because she has had a touch of vertigo, and kitty has been pouting ever since. you'd think i'd been sleeping with another cat...
10. that sounds so wrong.
11. i am so ready to be back in new york.

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Subject:	the jig is up
Time:	11:43 pm.

alright, people. i got my internship for the fall...i'm working at the white house project. i don't know that i would go so far as to call it my first choice, but i don't really think i had a "first choice" at all--i was pretty pleased with all of the opportunities. this was the first one offered though, and i had to accept it by today or lose it, so i went ahead and took it since it would be awhile before i would even interview with other places, ahem the eleanor roosevelt legacy committee ahem. it's alright though because i can still volunteer for the erlc and work at the white house project. it's a good organization, and i was pretty impressed that the guy who did the interview over the phone with me called me on time. it said a lot.

my other piece of good news is that i am finally financially set for the next year. going abroad really threw me off financially, but that has all worked out thankfully, and i don't have to freak out that the last year of all years might not work out. doing the internship means i can't work a traditional paying job, but i think it will all work out. i have some money in savings, and when you get down to it, my parents are ever the money tree.

speaking of which, i want everyone to know how awesome my mom is. a friend of her's from the district she drives in, who is also a driver, is really financially bad off, and in need of several items, namely a bed, refrigerator, sofa, washer and dryer, etc. so yesterday we helped them rent a truck and move some furniture our sofa, my parent's old bed, and some tables and chairs we didn't need anymore to their place, and mom bought them a washer/dryer set and a fridge. nothing fancy or new--the sofa and bed for instance aren't anything particularly special and nothing was new, but it was all stuff that still has life in it, and will fill in where there wasn't anything else. it was the right thing to do, but i guess in a world where it seems that so few people are willing to do the right thing, it feels pretty extraordinary. i'd like to think that i have a lot of my mom in me. not that my dad isn't the same way, but it's different. can't explain it though.

tomorrow is a visit to mary jo's. i haven't been in what feels like a couple of weeks at least, but it all seems so far away. guess not though. my grandmother's last living sibling died at 4 a.m. the morning of the last day i saw her, and according to mom, she has mellowed a bit recently because of it. while mary jo isn't as crazy or means as edna was, she has both a crazy and a mean streak in her. which mom and i both have as well, but it makes for weird relationships. i've been thinking about my relationship with her a lot recently, and while it, i guess, is not that big of a deal in the long run, it makes me sad to think that i truly feel the way i do about a lot of my family. it is what it is though. and it also makes for good comedy.

so now i start planning the "party" my parents want to throw at graduation in may--brunch for family and friends, or the bruncheon as i have decided to call it. it's mainly meant to rub in my graduation to the members of the family who have thought this whole nyu thing was crazy. i've lined up some possibilities, and over the next few months it will be my job to go to brunch, and rate the service, the food, etc. difficult job, eh? according to rachel, i've got what it takes to be a food critic and to that i say, damn straight. bring on the food.

and now i am so very tired. mom woke me up at 7 this morning, for what reason i do not know, so that i could take 2 sips of my coffee before i fell asleep sitting up with an icepack on my aching back. not tonight though...

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Subject:	home from being a lush...
Time:	10:37 pm.
Mood:	relaxed.
Music:	stupid news about sports.

1. i managed to kill my first ibook within a week. i'm working on ibook 2 now, and it seems to be working out.

2. new orleans is great.

3. kitties are great.

4. the big lebowski is great.

5. any mixture of alcohol and lemonade is wonderful, i.e. mr. pimm's cup (english gin and lemonade with a splash of "lemon-lime soda" and a cucumber garnish) at the napoleon house and the louisiana lemonade from coughbubbagump'scough.

6. brunch at brennan's is love.

7. i saw ellis fucking marsalis play. holy shit. after i see ramsey lewis and dave brubeck this week, i can die happy and then hopefully move on to an afterlife that includes miles davis.

8. i have added a walnut-gorgonzola-raspberry vinagrette mixture to the list of items i want to have a vat of to be buried in. we're up to this, lobster, good coffee, chocolate, and (while we're at it) eggs husarde and spicy bloody marys in my burial vault. i am going to have one tasty afterlife.

9. pictures are forthcoming. there wasn't too much debauchery, but i still managed at least one drink a day.

10. the hotel we stayed at had a quoted rate of $550/night on the door. hahahahahaha. yeah right. all 4 nights combined were less than that.

11. the ballroom at the bourbon orleans is sweet ass.

12. a group of cheerleaders made a chant up of the tag number of a hit and run driver and recited it for police, and the guy was caught. um, good, but did it really require a chant????

13. i'm not sure i need to advertise my childishness, but i got a shirt in nola that says "my kingdom for a sippy cup"

14. naptime? why not.

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Time:

1:43 pm.

ok so. my lsat course starts the day before dorms open. actually it starts about a week before dorms open, but i don't have to go to that one. but anyway, i'm going to have to come up a few days before things open, leaving me with the delight of arranging alternate accomodations. i'm trying to decide whether to stay in a hotel, or maybe get a room at greenwich, or...i don't know. the hotel i wanted to stay at is booked. *sigh*

i'm really looking forward to being back in new york though. i've missed it. this is the longest i've gone without being there in a very long time. makes me wonder how well i will adjust to living somewhere else...i've been thinking more and more that law school somewhere like columbia or nyu will be necessary. must be near new york.

time to start cleaning though. i was going to do some exercising but for some reason i'm thinking i want to take a swim later. we shall see.

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Subject:	well...this is what you get....
Time:	9:09 pm.
Mood:	and jude law is a tool..
Music:	still watching dateline.

01) My uncle once: promised to buy me a car.
02) Never in my life: have i tried to buy an expensive piece of jewelry (i'm watching a segment on dateline).
03) When I was five: i had a crush on jordan.
04) High school was: an interesting experiment in exercising patience.
05) I will never forget: how excited i was when my mom told me we were getting kiki.
06) I once met: the former state superintendent of schools, the dumb bitch.
07) There's this girl I know who: used to do crack. seriously.
08) Once, at a bar: i drank entirely too many guinnesses. and it was a pub, thankyouverymuch.
09) By noon I'm usually: wanting to knaw my arms off.
10) Last night: i did absolutely nothing because i was too tired to even work on finishing hp.
11) If I only had: i hate to say this, but...unlimited cash flow.
12) Next time I go to church: will probably be some kind of holiday.
14) I have a confession to make: the weight i gained is really bothering me. it's kind of freaking me out because i immediately go to the worst-case scenario of diabetes, heart disease, neuropathy...you know.
15) When I turn my head left, I see: a fern stand with nothing on it and a bookshelf stacked with my mom's self-help books.
16) When I turn my head right, I see: my parents.
Where is # 17? can we make that number 17?
18) Every day, I constantly think about: my next move.
19) If I was a character written by Shakespeare, I'd be: one of the shrews.
20) By this time next year: i will be a college graduate
21) A better name for me would be: ummm...no clue. svetlana?
22) I have a hard time understanding: math.
23) If I ever go back to school I'll: well, when i go back to school in the fall, i'll be going crazy.
24) You know I like you if: if i like you-like you, then i'll try to act aloof and maybe just a tad bit vulnerable, but if i just like you, i'll make fun of you to your face.
25) If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: no better answer than my parents...and the cats.
26) Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: geraldine ferraro.
27) Take my advice, never: start freaking out if you think a turtle is attacking you. just breathe. and think rationally, dammit.
28) My ideal breakfast is: coffee.
29) A song I love, but do not have is: oh man...probably the songs off keep it together.
30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: going to oakland cemetary on a nice evening. right around sunset.
31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: are 4 things with no apparent connection.
32) Why won't anyone: stop the beast that is reality television
33) If you spend the night at my house: mind the cats. they get first dibs.
34) I'd stop my wedding for: an earthquake
35) The world could do without: most major illnesses
36) I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: this is on the list of things i will never do under any circumstances. i'd rather not have to sift through the list.
37) My favorite blonde is: matt damon? he's sometimes kind of blonde?
38) Paper clips are more useful than: self-help books.
39) If I do anything well, it's: take care of the mundane day-to-day things.
40) And by the way: my feet make loud popping noises
41) The last time I was drunk, I: was with my parents

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Time:

9:45 pm.

ok. sorry. didn't see this until after my last ginormous post.

1. "32 flavors," ani difranco
2. "valium waltz," old 97s
3. "better half," the get up kids
4. "rape me," nirvana
5. "as long as it matters," gin blossoms
6. "alameda," elliott smith
7. "manana," desaparacedos
8. "second self-portrait series," the rachels
9. "dark center of the universe," modest mouse
10. "sleeping in," the postal service
11. "photosynthesis," sean lennon
12. "son of sam," elliott smith
13. "progress," pedro the lion
14. "nightmares by the sea," jeff buckley
15. "the blue notebooks," max richter
16. "sister surround," the soundtrack of our lives
17. "let's spend the night together," the rolling stones
18. "absolutely sweet marie," bob dylan
19. "ostriches and chirping," elliott smith
20. "night is the day turned inside out," beulah
21. "jail guitar doors," the clash
22. "nothing matters when we're dancing," the magnetic fields
23. "story of a girl," nine days (shut up! it's funny!)
24. "make war," bright eyes
25. "shoplifters of the world unite," the smiths

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Time:

7:38 pm.

1. i have decided i need more death cab in my life. a new album on august 30 is love.

2. there are families who go on "family feud," and there are families who don't. discuss.

3. my family is not, i repeat not a "family feud" family.

4. ever since my grandmother commented on the 10 (or 15) pounds i gained abroad (ironic term, eh?), i have been trying to watch what i eat a little more than usual. the pizza i ordered tonight (from pizza hut nonetheless!) does not count. obviously.

5. congresswoman maloney's office has already responded to the resume i sent them last week. yeah. last week. late last week. interview is soon to be lined up. i still want to intern with eleanor's legacy more, but i'll take what i can get. beggars can't be choosers or something to that effect.

6. all the work i was planning on doing this summer for the colloquium. kind of not happening. bit of a problem. i will blame it on the lack of an ink cartridge for my printer. when that is replaced, i will most likely blame it on the car. or something. oooh. one of the cats.

7. has anyone else noticed the show on PAX, in which billy ray cyrus plays a doctor. yes. a doctor. a real doctor. aren't mullets an automatic out for med school or something? if not, med schools across the country and i need to have a talk.

8. i have a back up plan if teach for america doesn't want me. georgia has their own equivalent, and i pick the district and school. bad news is no tfa grants and scholarships and stuff. whatevs.

9. if you gotten this far, you deserve an award. but all i want is your opinion. by the end of the week, i will be in a position to replace my dell with apple. i need arguments to and for. go.

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Subject:	news of...a while.
Time:	10:59 pm.
Mood:	chill.
Music:	"a life of arctic sounds," modest mouse.

1. i need to find matt damon and make him realize he is totally and completely in love with me stat.

2. on top of the fluid build-up/bone bruise/hairline fracture/pulled tendon/completely non-existent injury i have under my left knee, i have developed something that feels like tendinitis in my right achilles. delightful!

3. flood insurance is a good thing.

4. so...karl rove. not surprised that he was the one. also not surprised that the white house has all of a sudden taken a very different position on what to do with the person responsible.

5. v. upset with american apparel. i had read before that the ceo was a lascivious little fucker (to say the least), but i really am shocked by the claims made by the workers regarding pay, healthcare, etc. buyblue.org has also been a source of confusion for me recently: yes, jcrew is a blue company, but their clothes are most likely in a sweatshop. so here's the real question: do i go back to jcrew to buy the tank top i didn't buy a couple of weeks ago because i was going to buy it at american apparel????

6. dear nasa,
you represent a group of some of the most educated and presumably intelligent people in the world. you, however, appear have to forgotten the definition of the word "omen." i understand you left-brained people get a little too caught up in the numbers from time to time, but seriously. come on.

leerily yours,
brooke

7. i never said anything about going to see the indigo girls during pride, nor sleater-kinney a couple of weeks ago...um. rock. i was a lesbian in a past life. i know it.

8. i have decided to leave you forever. i have decided to start things from here. thunder and lightning won't change what i'm feeling, and the daffodils look lovely today...

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LiveJournal for brooke (quick someone call the girl police).

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