Yeah, anyways, I know it's been a week, but to anyone hanging on a line of suspense, there wasn't a payoff. Sorry. I didn't even get a "good-bye." What's with that?

[Filter: Private]

Well, whatever else, I'll be sort of glad to get out of here on Tuesday. You'd need a sword to cut the tension around here, holy shit.

[Filter: Public]

Well, I guess the good part about still having problems walking is that you get a free and easy reason not to pull your weight in the whole preparation practice. Thank Dragons for that.

You'd think servants would do that all for us. What's the good of a title if you have to pack your own bags? Seriously.

Has anyone been following what I've been talking about lately?

[Filter: Private]

Dad wants to get moving within a week. That's him for you, isn't it? The second you're not in mortal danger, you're packed into a carriage and shipped off. Right, so this is the first time that's happened in this exact way, but, you know. Same idea, right?

I just keep thinking. What then? Yeah, I know. Thoughts. From me. Unebelievable.

But you know, seriously, really, what then? I get married, sure, Dragons, even that's -- but whatever, you know, okay. We move to Rhia? She works at the university, there? I ... party all the time? I guess. It makes sense, and Rhia's the best city for that, so hurray for me. I'd be away from my family. Living the high life. And then eventually I ... die.

Fuck, does anyone else think like this? See the future as a looking black horizon?

I just

I'd just kill myself if it didn't feel like throwing away a plate of food. Even if you don't want to eat it and it's half bad and disgusting, it's still perfectly good food. There are plenty of people who would kill for that food. In fact the food probably looks really really delicious to anyone except me! Wouldn't it be ungrateful to throw it out? Isn't it the best thing for me and the cook and everybody watching if I just stomach it, bite after bite after fucking bite?

Look, I finally understand a metaphor. Maybe I should march back up north and pass my exams with this knowledge.

I'm pathetic.

... I want to see my daughter.

Well, I'm mobile.

In case anyone cares.

Healers still don't want me fucking my leg up again, so it'll still be a week or so until we get back into the carriage. Jostling isn't exactly helpful, they say. I half believe them. Maybe.

Fransisca brought me new cufflinks the other day.

Holy shit, good news from a healer? I didn't think it was possible. Sometimes, I actually enjoy being proven wrong.

[Filter: Private]

One moment I'm her father, the next I'm just a reference model a copy is made from. And then I'm her father again, oh, but wait!

Shouldn't still be so upset about this. It's been fucking weeks. I can't even hear something good and think, great, good news! I hear something good and think, great, I'm never gong to

Fuck it.

I'm not sure I have the heart to tell Lady Fransisca I'm betrothed.

Though I'm not sure how she missed that memo.

Oh well, it's nice to have company at least. I'm sure eventually Four Eyes is going to get tired of trying to read everything she hasn't yet in their library, but that day is not today!

[Filter: Private]

In Lireth, an honoured guest, he says. She could always be lying to him, but if so, why Lireth, of every House here? She knows they all write, it could easily be confirmed or denied. Pick Vernhail or something, instead. And if she is there, the Lion of Lireth doesn't exactly seem the type who'd fall for an obvious con.

... and what does that mean. Could she actually be alive? It seems fucking impossible, after all this time, especially that no one has recognized her if she's just ... you know, wandering the fucking Dentorian countryside. It's ... it's wishful thinking, that's all it is, but ...

Why am I even thinking about all this? Don't I have enough of my own problems?

[Filter: Ian]

Dear Ian,

If I punch Tarmon in the fucking face, I sure hope you're going to use all your princely powers to save my ass, because I've been here like two days and I can't even walk and it's already looking likely!

Love, Matthias.

[Filter: Public]

So, crucial update, I have my leg wrapped with like a league of bandages to help me not move it, which would be all well and good if not for how fucking itchy it is.

I may gouge my eyes out, and won't be held responsible when it happens. I'm just fuckin saying here. Dragons light and dark, have mercy on my fucking soul.

So, if I squint, apparently I can see Emeron. But I don't like squinting, it gives me a fucking headache, and the last thing I need is more pain, so! I think I'll just take their word for it. They're saying something like noon tomorrow, sounds fine to me. Five hungry, injured nobles coming your way, folks.

It occurs to me I should probably be asleep, but you know. Again with the pain, it's a little distracting.

[Filter: Private]

Fucking bitch.



I really wanted her to be telling the truth, too. That's the best part, I really did.

So what now?