Withirdeye

01:33 pm: Iron Bat

12:28 pm: Cancer Horoscope for week of March 13, 2008
"There's a place in Venezuela where lightning storms rage 10 hours a night, 150 days of the year. It's where the Catatumbo River flows into Lake Maracaibo. Humans put their lives at risk to be near this persistent storm. The upside of the phenomenon is that it generates a significant portion of our planet's ozone, and produces so much light that it helps ships navigate up to 250 miles away. If you encounter anything with a metaphorical resemblance to the Catatumbo lightning in the coming days, I suggest you enjoy it from a distance. That way, it'll provide you with all of its benefits and none of its dangers."

So my questions is: What is one supposed to do, when the storm rages inside? I'm not going to distance myself from my self. The best I can do is improve my storm-dancing and appreciate the moments of clarity illuminated by every graceful move.

So...it's been a while. I do have a new job, and I enjoy it! If I had to point out one thing, it would be the pay isn't enough to help me get quickly on my way. But since I don't make money a priority in my life, it's not that big a deal to me. It probably should be, but it isn't. Anyhow, I'm back in customer service. Once more, it's for a school. It's different this time, as it's K-11 (12 soon) and not a university. I enjoy the concept and the fact that there are other areas I can ascend to. As I don't have a degree, I'll have to earn my way. But that's the way I've brought myself up. To quickly address the criticisms that last phrase may bring, I don't always abide by that way of life. In times of personal crisis, I'll sometimes fall back on someone else for support. Still, isn't that what friends are for. It'd be different, if I didn't reciprocate. Moving on. I have a good feeling about my new employment. This feels so much different than any other place I've worked for. They're still considered a start-up and their future direction isn't certain at this point, but I have a good feeling about the company. Though I love change and a bit of chaos, I think my life has been in need of stability. I just didn't pay attention to that aspect, until recently.

Note to self: Stop making the priest joke, when asked about your last name.

06:21 pm: Morning Yearning
Directed by Heath Ledger:



I'm a fan of Heath Ledger. I definitely connected with him, from his performance on screen. I truly believe he was an amazing talent, and he didn't even reach his full potential. He had plenty more to do. It pains me to that his death could have been due to an overdose. That's something that could've been prevented. Still, we can learn from this. For now, I'll take time to remember his vision.

12:26 am: Replace the needle!
I'll be happy, when I can write about something new.

01:04 am: Nihil mutantur.
I think I've figured out what my problem is. I'm bored out of my mind and I'm not doing nearly enough to change things. Wow, it must be the season. That's all the politicians are spouting about, too. Seriously, I'm going to die of stagnation. My body is struggling to keep some sort of shape. But if I'm not careful, I'll become bigger than Jaba and die of auto-asphyxiation (not even the erotic kind). Either that or I'll explode like Terry Jones' character in The Meaning of Life. Point is that I need to get off my expanding ass and fucking do something! Oh, my other issue from yesterday had quite a bit to do with low blood sugar. Damn physical needs always playing Tiddly Winks with my emotional state. It'd certainly help, if I got hired. That still wouldn't be enough, though.

08:38 pm: We Might Fall
I think it's happening again. 'It' being the something I don't have a word for. But it usually signifies a coming change in my life that will be for the worse. Which is just great, as my life has already sent me closer to rock bottom than I've been before. This time, I think I'll have to face my worst fear; being completely alone. There is a possibility for recourse, however. That's just not something I can truly rely on coming to fruition. I can only hope to believe that blood is truly thicker than wine. I just know that if I don't get out of my depression I've been feeling lately and this funk, I'll lack the motivation to make things better for myself. I'd just atrophy into oblivion. I need to reach a new level of understanding and awareness, which I haven't done in quite some time. It used to happen more regularly. Right now, I just wish I could sleep forever. I'm getting more and more concerned that I don't actually know how to live my life. I'm losing sight of who I am. Maybe what's about to be should have been a long time ago. Now that I'm here and it's happening, I'm at a loss of how to handle myself. I, at least, know that I need to get organized and consolidate. I feel like I'm weighed down a bit too much to keep flexible and agile - literally, too. Who can one turn to talk to, when the ones they thought loved them the most leave?

07:37 pm: A Nightmare Before Christmas
So, this whole year has pretty much had it in for me. There were bad signs and omens, in the beginning of the year. I didn't take them too seriously, as I'm an optimist. The main gripe was that I was working very very hard. It didn't pay off, of course. The last quarter to half of the year just accumulated suckage. It seemed to culminate all near the end of the year, though. I lost my job, in October. (Side note: very few people know who the Mystery Theatre Sandman - a.k.a. Wesley Dodds is. So, I didn't win any costume contests.) And I have yet to land another position. Even the temp agencies don't have anything for me. Come December, I went on vacation to Disney World. It was fun for the most part. There were a few things that Kim wasn't happy about. And it doesn't take much to set her off. But otherwise, it was fun. I got the cellulitis for free! Near the beginning of the vacation, I got bit by a mosquito. By the middle of vacation, I was infected. Going to CentraCare and Walgreens wasn't exactly on the itinerary. So, that kind of threw the agenda off course a bit, but it wasn't a wasted day. The year is ending horribly, though. While on the train back (Saturday night) my cat-sitter called to tell me my cat went missing. So much for a fun ride back. As soon as I got home and took some luggage out of the back seat of my car, I went looking for Merlin. I spent the entire week in Curtis Bay. Most of the time, I was on foot looking for the cat and posting flyers. I also drove through the alleys finding all kinds of stray cats that weren't him. I had an ad on Craigslist that got some responses. One of them suggested that he may have made it all the way to Brooklyn. Kim and I went to look in that area and found it an even worse place to be than Curtis Bay. Somebody hit a brown tabby with a car. It had a black collar on, so Kim freaked out. It wasn't him. I checked all the shelters and local vets, staked out the sitter's house to see if he'd come back, and kept following up on leads from people who called. Somebody found a cat that just walked in to their home, and called. It looked so much like Merlin, but it still wasn't him. The face was completely different. Still, I took that cat to our vet to be sure and then home for food and water. I named him Strider. Kim's father went back down to the neighborhood and brought home a female kitten. How he mistook that cat for Merlin, I don't know. Those two cats were very sweet, and we got attached. Still, we took them to BARCS the next day. We named the kitten Ura and told the shelter that we'll adopt both cats, if nobody claims them. They still haven't called back. Merlin was eventually found on Christmas Eve. He had bites and scratches all over him. I felt them through his fur and they didn't feel like serious injuries, except that he was bleeding on his hip. I thought it was a fairly small bite, but he was going straight to the vet anyway. Good thing. It's a decent size bite that went across his rear above the base of his tail. It required seven stitches and a drain (basically a tube through the wound under his skin). He's on antibiotics and daily pain medicine, and has to wear an E-collar. I also have the privilege of cleaning his drain with betadine - he loves that, let me tell you. The drain come out, tomorrow, but the collar stays on until the sutures come out. Needless to say, I wasn't in the holiday spirit and was very angry at the sitter. So, I took Kim to see Aliens Versus Predator - Requiem Christmas night. Technically, the day after Christmas. It was a 040 showing. I liked it better than the first, but the ending was a little weak. Oh, and Dallas' brother didn't die! That pissed me off, but not as much as the audience. I don't think Muvico audiences know when to shut up. Still, I've noticed a complete lack of respect from everybody recently (even in Disney World). Anywho, I still liked watching the movie in the theater instead of the small screen. I'm never seeing a movie at the Egyptian again, though. I hope 2008 isn't any worse.
I know I'm late with giving out presents and everything. So, here's a little something to make up for it.



P.S. Is the plural for pegasus pegasi?

07:40 pm: No extension!

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Who is that, skulking along the desert! It is Motley Villain, hands clutching two hardened pitas! He roars vengefully: "In the name of malice, I hereby void your warranty, and send you back to God!"

Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

03:00 am: Drunk on Three Philosophers; go figure.
Maybe I'm behind the eight-ball here, but I just figured out that the Solar system is Hell. Taking Christian dogma and Dante's askewed vision of the "Inferno" into account, we have ten circles plus the center. Our Solar system is surrounded by a circle of ice, then we have the nine planets. I suppose Earth either represents one of the circles of Hell or Purgatory, but the other planets - with their inhospitable environments represent a different punishment (i.e. Mercury is solid rock , where a soul would be punished to futilely mine ore) and the Sun, Sol is Satan. Satan, of course, being another name for Lucifer, which is another name for Samael, angel of light.
Point being, I believe that we're not as separated from nature - the Universe, as many of us think. In that respect, humans are like cruel relatives who don't know how to show their love properly. We're definitely more selfish than the rest of life on planet Earth. Still, we're inexorably linked to the forces of our Solar system (if not the entire galaxy or Universe). It's just... As we know in our own lives, transition periods can be very confusing. I personally believe that we're in a transition period towards enlightenment. It's our somewhat evolved brain. We perceive so much of our surroundings and the Solar system, and we have the imagination to fill in any gaps and to conceive of nie infinite possibilities of what's "out there". The problem is our ego tends to get in the way. Ego being linked to our emotions, emotions being an amalgam of instinct and rational thought spiced with other variables of "the soul". We are by no means pure. But we're working on it. It may take thousands of more years for us to reach that evolved enlightened state to truly become one with our galaxy (again, if not the Universe) I just hope we live long enough as a species-evolving to realize our potential.

08:33 pm: It's a terrible feeling, feeling unwanted.

03:49 pm: Cancer Horoscope for week of November 1, 2007


Best days this month for smart love, healing beauty, and uplifting adventure: 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 23, 24. Best days for creative outbreaks and ingenious self-expression: 5, 8, 10, 11, 12, 14, 16, 17, 25. Best days to search for the loot from a 1967 bank robbery hidden in a metal box stashed inside a hollowed-out log in the woods: 2, 3, 9, 10, 11. Best days to dream about a dancing rhinoceros whose careening around a giant ouija board gives you information about an opportunity to manifest one of your most ambitious dreams: 6, 7, 13, 15, 18, 21, 22.


Sounds like it will be an interesting month.

04:27 am: Dim Sum and Yak!
Well, I can't sleep again. Actually, let me go back a bit. My employment was terminated, at the beginning of the month. Insomnia seems to be an inseparable side-effect of such. It's possible something's trying to tell me someone...to coin a phrase. Seriously, I haven't been doing what I want or am meant to be doing and I think I'm getting punished for it. What's really messed up is that I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be doing right now. And I hate the phrase "supposed to". Screw that. I'll do what I do and no-one else can say crap about it...unless, of course, it's to the detriment of others. Then, by all means. I ramble too much. No, it's just that I have the spark. I have the potential to make something of myself. I have an artistic spirit. I have a somewhat unique perspective of the world. I have things to say. And what do I do? I sit on it, that's what. To be fair, though, I've had a tough time holding down a job for steady income. And that is, unfortunately, necessary in our society for survival. Still, I'm probably not spending my free and down time very wisely. How is anyone supposed to know what I'm capable of, if I don't have anything quantifiable; any proof of what I can accomplish...because I haven't accomplished anything? Why should anyone who doesn't know me or know me very well give a damn about me? I think I want balance in my life, but I don't have that. So, what?
I think I need to stop waiting for inspiration to stick around and hold me all day and need to start realizing that inspiration visits you for a quickie and the rest is like masturbation - a lot of work to get you there...on your own. I really don't know what I'm waiting for. I need to bloody get to it and stop writing posts like this. What is this one, number five? It's getting rather redundant for me. Repetitive, even. Like Mojo Jojo. Yeah. I need to stop acting like a monkey exposing his brain for the world to see and start acting like a professor with so much love in his heart that he just has to share that with the world and help make it a better place to live. Yeah...sappy. Look, it's about 4:30am. This is the extended metaphor that was available. Don't fault me for that.

05:46 pm: Cancer Horoscope for week of September 13, 2007
According to a report in "The Onion," behavioral scientists in Chicago have proved that many people are in fact not entitled to their opinions. "On topics from evolution to immigration reform, we found that 38 percent of the opinions people expressed were so off-base and ill-informed that they actually hurt society by being voiced," said one researcher. I'm betting, however, that only a small proportion of these unfounded beliefs and spurious theories will originate from Cancerians in the coming weeks. Your tribe is likely to be more scrupulous in your data-gathering and more rigorous in your reasoning than the rest of the population. In fact, I suggest you regard yourself as a role model whose job it is to demonstrate the beauty of thinking deeply.

So apparently, it is up to to help you form your opinions. Just remember that you can have your own opinion, as long as you agree with me. Here are some uninformed informed opinions I've chosen to share with you.

Abortion: It should be up to the fetus.

Stem cell research: It's about time plants did something for us.

Gay marriage: You can't be happy and married.

Iraq: Not nearly as controversial as the iPhone.

Female presidents: You can't be a dictator, if you don't have a...

Oh, I've run out of time and have to get back to work. But please feel free to marinate in my wisdom. Until next time...

12:52 pm: Let's just hope Manos doesn't get hold of the Sampo!




That was fun and distracted me from my current issues. Thanks, Mel.

12:27 pm: Without Fail
I just want to say that I am sick and tired of being disrespected. No more mister nice-guy-who-just-grins-and-bares-it. I am done. The going is no longer easy. It's the way you wanted it anyway.

12:09 pm: אברא כדברא
[Meant to post this last week]

Cancer Horoscope for week of August 23, 2007

According to the Haggadah, an ancient Jewish text, the first thing God made, before anything else, was the Torah. This book was "written with black fire on white fire." The 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet became the raw materials out of which the Divine One forged heaven and earth. Now you, Cancerian, have a chance to get firsthand evidence of the power that language has to shape experience. In the coming days, I suggest that you formulate what you say with great precision. The words you use will have the power of the ancient magical incantation, abracadabra, which is derived from the Aramaic word meaning "I create as I speak."

So, the idea of God as the author of the Universe is much older than I thought. Though, the idea of authors being akin to gods may be younger. Either way, there's power in what you create. I can only hope the universes I birth thrive as well as others in the multiverse of publishing.

03:15 pm: Best chain-mail letter I've ever received:
Thank you................
I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send
me your goofy chain letters over the past few years. Thank you for
making me feel safer, more secure, blessed and mistakenly wealthy.
Because of your concern...

1... I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

2... I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make
these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their
cans.

3... I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick
from the rat feces and urine.

4... I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

5... I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could
be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

6... I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even tho! ugh I smell
like a water buffalo on a hot day.

7... I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me
with a perfume sample and rob me.

8... I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are
actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

9... I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't
support our American troops.

10... I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial
a stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with
calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

11... I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible
mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

12... I no longer date the opposite sex because they will take my
kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

13... I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now
have their recipe.

14... I no longer worry about my soul because I have ! 1,363,214 angels
looking out for me and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

15... Thanks to all of you, I have learned that God only answers my
prayers if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish
within five minutes. (The BIBLE did not mention it works that way, so
I didn't know!)

16... I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who
is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).

17... I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I
receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
participating in their special e-mail program. Yes, I want to thank
all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me!

I will now return the favor. If you don't send this e-mail to at least
1200 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will
crap on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon. I know this will occur
because it actually happened to a fri! end of a friend of a friend of my
next-door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's 8th husband's 2nd cousin's
tennis instructor.

12:26 pm: Please don't insist.
Here's an update about my lack of updating, because I can't think of anything else to write about and I feel like making an (over-due) entry.
My posting history for 2007 is pretty sad. Though, I'm sure I don't post nearly as I often as I should. There are countless thoughts, ideas and otherwise entertaining words of rubbish I never recorded. Countless, because I can't remember them. Obviously. I'm pretty sure it's me and my lack of focus. Though, having jobs that tend to sap any creative or inspired thought I have from me doesn't help. The months seem to be going by way too quickly for me to keep up. To coin a phrase, there was stuff and stuff happened. My thirtieth birthday passed by about a month and a half ago. I do actually feel older, but not at the same time. I have the same job, which is an accomplishment for me...given my track record. Nothing much has happened really. I'm not sure that's a good thing. I'm getting sick and tired of being in the same situation, which I've found to be a decent motivator.
Let's see... I finally have an interwebs connection at home, eventhough I'm updating at the office. (Ooh, that sounds naughty.) I have an idea for a comic book that I'm thinking seriously about in my free time. Well, when I can get myself unglued from YouTube. I even bought multiple books on writing comics, which I'm sure will turn out to be invaluable tools. I just need artists. I have some other ideas floating around the ol' cranium, too.
I haven't been getting enough sleep. And while I've lost some weight, I still don't feel entirely healthy. Well...I'll never be with the smoking and the drinking of alcohol. Still. I'm just bored with being a ghost.

12:17 pm: Cancer Horoscope for week of May 17, 2007
"Reality is not all it's cracked up to be. Just because millions of people suffer from the same hallucinations doesn't mean those hallucinations are objectively true. I share Salvador Dali's perspective: "One day it will have to be officially admitted that what we have christened reality is an even greater illusion than the world of dreams." For these reasons and many more, I don't automatically dismiss people who live in their own fantasy worlds. Their dreamy concoctions may be no more deluded than those of normal people, and might be far more fun and amusing. Everything I just said is a preface for the main point of this horoscope, Cancerian, which is to give you temporary license to escape into the most beautiful mirage you can conjure up. Love your fantastic visions. Let your imagination run far, far away with you."

More encouragement, and another piece of assurance that I am not alone in my perceptions.

12:45 pm: How well do you know me?
For instance, did you know...

Four places I have worked in my life:
1. Kuehne & Nagel
2. The Cleaning Authority
3. Johns Hopkins ECFMG program
4. Blockbuster Video

Four Movies I could watch over and over:
1. The Lord of the Rings trilogy
2. Ninja Scroll
3. Wicked City
4. Kill Bill bilogy

Four places I've lived:
1. Arizona
2. Oklahoma
3. Frankfurt
4. Maryland

Four TV Programs I watch:
1. Law & Order: SVU
2. Medium
3. Scrubs
4. Criminal Minds/NCIS (I don't watch them regularly)

Four Places I have been on Vacation:
1. Disney World
2. Paris, France
3. Freiburg, Germany - Exchange program, but felt like a vacation
4. Georgia/North Carolina - mining for gold and gems

Four websites I visit daily:
1. google.com
2. en.wikipedia.org
3. mail.yahoo.com
4. multiple steamship tracking sites for work

Four of my favorite foods:
1. sushi
2. seafood
3. tapas
4. sushi

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Japan
2. Ireland
3. Germany
4. Gene Roddenberry's future