[Filter: Private]

... I really miss my family. And home. It feels like just about forever since I was there. It feels like just about forever that I've been here.

Maybe I wasn't cut out for the Academy, after all.

[Filter: Private]

Ugh, so what if Lord Hasten hates me. I've been cringing everytime he's looked at me the entire time, and thanking the Dragons that he hasn't deigned to do it more often! It's ridiculous. I'm a noblewoman, my blood is every bit as impressive as his. I'll bet Kiefer could ever have unhorsed him. That would have been bloody satisfying.

He can hit me again if he wants. The worst thing he can do is stop Fartgus from marrying me, and that would be a blessing of its own, wouldn't it?

So why

After years of Connie complaining, I'm not going to start censoring myself now, because some Northerner with a little too high an opinion of himself slaps me. I tried that. I was miserable.

[Filter: Public]

I almost liked him better when he was smug. This sulking and whining is so old. You bloody well lost, start getting over it. It's not like he's the only person at the tourney Lord Hasten unhorsed. He isn't bloody special! It's impertinent.

[Filter: Connie, Glenn, Dillon]

Ugh, you should see how she's spending all that time with Lord Nicolas. She's practically draped over him and simpering up in his face. What a slut. I don't even think Lord Tarmon has noticed, either, I swear he spends all of his time in his own little world!

Bloody hell, I don't need to be confined. I'm not a danger to anyone. Anyone who matters, anyway. It's not as if she wouldn't deserve it. Servants did it, my arse, that's an easy lie.

Who is that knight that beat Lord Isaac and Tarmon both at the tourney yesterday? He seems pretty impressed with himself, doesn't he? Hrm, I suppose he might have earned it, he was incredible, but I wouldn't tell him that if someone bent my fingers back! Bloody hell, it's like watching someone bloody touch themselves in public. And then ask other people to help.

Hrm, whatever.



I swear I'm missing best dress. Ugh, I sent it to get washed something like a week ago, the laundresses here are bloody incompetant. At least if they're spent this long cleaning it, the scent of Nallen might be gone.

Hrm.

[Filter: Private]

Ugh, bollocks, why does Connie had to be here? I know it's perfectly bloody awful fo me to resent being able to talk to my older sister in any way, but I didn't draw a smiley face on my papers for nothing on the day she got married and left. I love her, I do, she's just so ...

Bloody hell. Whatever, then, I'll simply have to make due, like I always do. It doesn't matter what she says, after all. If being slapped in the bloody face by Lord Hasten only stuck for half a year, Connie's harping isn't going to change much.

Why couldn't it have been Martha? Perfectly harmless annoyance at her worst, that one.

And where the bloody hell is my scarf? Why do I always misplace things when I get like this?

Is it just me, or has it seemed way more chilly around here, lately?

[Filter: Isanae]

Look, I don't know what Canti has been saying to but, but I bet she's been saying to something because that's just the sort of thing she does, but I want to make it perfectly bloody clear that it was completely her fault.

[Filter: Private]

Blah blah blah, my name is Canti and I bloody suck.

[Filter: Chloe]

Do you have to be so bloody polite to the bitch? I mean, I know that's sort of your thing, but honestly.

Well.

I'm not sharing a dinner table with her. I don't care what you have to do to make it so I don't need to, but I refuse, and I will starve myself until something's bloody well done about it.

[Filter: Private]

If I had have bloody well known it was her coming, I would have told Isanae! How dare they invite her here when I'm here! It's bloody disrespectful to Rowan and to Fartgus and to me! Is there anyone they haven't offended by bringing that banshee here?!

Bloody hell, I should do something about this! Say something about this! Ladylike or not, this is a slap in the bloody face and I shouldn't have to sit here and take it!

And dammit, Canti, take my side or Isanae's side, or somebody's side! Hmph!

If they don't do something soon, then I'm going to do something, I bloody well swear it!

[Filter: Private]

Dragons, this is going to be a right mess. I wish I could say something.

[Filter: Private]

... well. This is it, and I'm still here. I guess ... I guess it's just because it's not like I have a choice. He's handsome, he's charming, he's nice enough most of the time, and I don't especially bloody like him, or ... or any of this ... but I can't see myself liking any of the alternatives anymore.

So ... bring on your worst, my lord. I suppose~



... life really bloody well sucks, doesn't it?

[Filter: Private]

... bloody hell, it's the 20th. How did that come so fast? I could be bloody betrothed by this time next week.

If ... if I'm going to back out of it, I've got to do it now. I've got to bloody well decide.

[Filter: Private]

Ugh, bloody hell, Canti, why do I need to be the one to do this? I wouldn't even be friends with you if I didn't think I could learn something from how brainless you are, so why should I be doing your --

... well, maybe that was a little cruel, but it's not like I said it to her face. I guess she's sort of sweet in a strange sort of unremarkable way. And she is right, poor Isanae, it's a bloody slap in the face ...

... but poor Isanae or not, I'm awful at this sort of thing. Why did I agree? Oh, right, so she'd stop pleading. Big bloody blue eyes.

... when will Fartgus hmph, I really am stuck in this world. I might as well ...

[Filter: Isanae]

Er, I just wanted to say I'm ... awfully sorry that Lord Tarmon didn't propose. I certainly thought he would! What an ass, ri He should have.



And, um, I hope you liked the hat. Your brother agreed that it looked ... ever so like you.

[Filter: Fartgus]

Do you have a moment to spare for me, my lord?

[Filter: Private]

Snort. Serves you bloody well right. I hope you're fuming, my lord. Not that there's anything wrong with girls, I'd argue, but if the shoe bloody fits.