[Filter: Private]

How could I have just forgotten ...? Myca ... could I forget about you so quickly? When you were gone, I didn't even want to live, and now ... now I can even forget your birthday?

Lian ... it wasn't your fault, darling ... I needed to be punished by someone. The fact that it was you ... I should thank you, I should. I need to ...

Myca ...

I love you. I'll always love you. I ...

I can't ... I can't forget ... I can't.

... I'm sorry, everyone.

[Filter: Lian]

Darling ... I'd like to hear your pieces one more time, before the party ... could you ... do that for me?

[Filter: Stephanie]

... I have something for you. A gift.

[Filter: Private]

Myca ...

I-I should get up and ... and do something, I think. Maybe I'll go out into the town.

I wish Edeyn were here. ... or Myca ...

[Filter: Stephanie]

You did very well in the lesson. Have you studied much about healing before? My girls ... they've all been learning for as long as they were old enough for me to teach.

B-but you probably knew that, haha ...

[Filter: Private]

It's ... only the nice thing to do, making a promise like that. I can keep it ... it wouldn't be fair to her, when she's not even here. She couldn't live with herself. I couldn't ... I couldn't do that.

Everyone wants me to live again. For the girls, they say ... they tell me to do it for the girls. They say Myca would have ...

Myca ... oh, my Myca ...

... I just ... it hurts ...

Why ... why did you make me promise, Edeyn ...?

[Filter: Public]

Stephanie ... the triplets are coming to see me today for a little lesson about sterilization in healing ... their usual teacher went with Edeyn on her trip. Would you like to join us?

[Filter: Private]

It hurts again today. It hurts ... so much. So ... so ... much. Breathing hurts ... everything hurts.

I miss you ... I'll miss you every day ...

[Filter: Edeyn]

You're going to leave then ...? I'm sorry I'm not going to be there, but you can handle these things so much better.

[Filter: Private]

... I just keep living without you, then?

Myca ... I loved you ... I love you ... I'll love you forever and a day ...

[Filter: Public]

... I've almost forgotten to wish you a happy birthday, Stephanie.

I hope Edeyn and the girls have made it very pleasant for you. I wish I could join you, but ... Edeyn thinks it's best I have more time alone to heal from my ... accident.

[Filter: Edeyn]

You don't need to leave the guard with me ...

[Filter: Private]



D-dragons ...

[Filter: Edeyn]

I spoke with Myca, like you ... suggested, Edeyn.

[Filter: Private]

H-he slips away a little bit more every day. Myca, I ... can't afford to lose you. Who knows what I may do this time. Who knows what I could ...

Please, Edeyn, just tell me what to do. You've always been so good at giving me the right answers ... please don't let this one come too late ...

[Filter: Private]

... she will not ...

It's worth asking her. It's always worth trying.

[Filter: Edeyn]

I need your advice on a matter, Edeyn ...

[Filter: Private]

He doesn't ... have very long. He has lasted longer than I expected, and for that I should be grateful, but it is worth ... nothing. Nothing at all.

And I cannot even be left alone in my grief of it all. No one can see my unhappiness, and I still just don't know what to do.

What is the ... right thing? To tell him, or to not? Would he ... want to know, now that we're happy together? As happy as we could be ...? Am I obligated to tell him, or to keep silent?

I just ... can't ... say.

Myca, I cannot bear to lose you. But I know I will. I know.

It is wrong to ignore these journals for so long ...

[Filter: Public]

I thought I'd spare everyone the burden of my handwriting, but everyone I speak to is convinced I'm squandering a great tool by doing so. I suppose they're right. My daughters are so jealous of my little magic book, haha ...

[Filter: Private, Korin]
Almost the Moon Festival.

Time passes...too quickly.

It's just moving too fast. I want to make it stand still but I can't, I can't, I can't.

I don't want my daughters to see that I'm unhappy. I don't want to have anyone see that I'm unhappy.

Would I be any happier if I'd told the truth? If I hadn't been weak in the first place?

I don't know. I don't know.

I...just....don't know.

[Private, Korin]
Everything is piling up these days. Whatever Rayla is up to at the moment, other then pursuing once-lady Irene. The continuing pegasus travel ban. How to balance that with the needs of the people. Etc. etc.

The most important question being the needs of the people. For while I may rule them, I am nothing without them.

Added to that the favorite topic of my advisors nowadays, it seems: finding me a suitable wife.

My advisors are pressuring me again to remarry. Take another wife. I won't. Not until Myca is gone. I can give him at least that much.

But everything else that is to be dealt with...if I did not have Edeyn to help me, I would be mad by now. Or madder then I already am.

Mother would know what to do. How to deftly handle things and make it appear as if she was doing nothing while doing everything. Sister would know what to do, and do it the same way.

But I'm neither of them.

It's true what they say. The women of House Veirnan are stronger then the men.

[Filter: Stephanie]
I have to talk to you, Stephanie. It's about Myca.

[Filter: Private]
Months.

Only a few months left.

It's written all over him, how little time he has left.

Dragons Light and Dark...how I wish...how I wish...

But nothing and no one can stop death. Nothing.

"There's always an ending, said she."

He may not be afraid...but I am.

I am.

[Private, Korin]
I can see, no matter how I wish not to, that time is running out. That no matter what I do, it won't be enough. That I can't save Myca, like I couldn't save Mother, like I couldn't save Kyrene, like I couldn't save Kouri...

I'm a healer. And yet...and yet I cannot even save the people I love most.

And love isn't enough to keep someone alive.

And then there's...

Dragons Light and Dark, what can I do?

It wouldn't be right to let Myca die without him knowing...everything. But would it be right to tell him now?

I don't know. I just...don't know.

[Filter: Private]
You would call me foolish, Mother, for not knowing my own reasons.

You would call me foolish and silly and recklessly emotional, with no understanding of logic, no control over my own emotions.

Perhaps I am.

At least I have enough understanding to know this.

[Filter: Myca]
Are you feeling any better today?

[Filter: Stephanie]
...please don't worry, Miss Stephanie. I promised you that if you didn't want to go back, that you wouldn't have to go back, and that still holds true. Even if your parents somehow find you, I won't let them take you back.

[Filter: Public, Trade]
...being a parent to triplets is certainly a unique experience.

Some days, I wonder how I have survived twelve years of it.