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mood |
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now you need me, |
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music |
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now you don't. |
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All I can do is sit here and think about how much faith I've recently lost in the human race. At the risk of sounding disgustingly cliche, I've learned a lot about myself (and others, mind you) in the past couple weeks, and so tonight I'm reaffirming the often overlooked statement and idea that, in the end, the only person you can count on is yourself.
And I've always known this, but it's good to realize it every now and then. I've made the mistake of putting my trust in too many people throughout my 19 years of existence. For an awful pessimist, I can be pretty optimistic sometimes. I always seemed to look for the good in people, however hidden, and I believed that no matter what, everyone deserves a second chance. Yeah, it's a nice thought, but let's be realistic here. For the most part, the world is a shitty place and the people in it are even shittier. 98% of people I know are selfish, thoughtless, self-centered backstabbing individuals with more faces than I ever knew existed. People lie and cheat and steal and it's just like second nature to them. So I have to ask myself why on earth I ever tried to convince myself otherwise, and why I felt that it was okay to put my trust in someone else when it's blatantly obvious I'm only going to be let down.
Ultimately, it comes down to this: if you tell a little kid not to look in a certain drawer, you better believe that as soon as you turn your back that's the first place he's going to look. If you tell him not to touch a hot stove, you can be certain that he'll have a burned hand or two in no time. And he'll regret it for a second, as the pain of his burnt flesh is almost too much to handle, but he learned something from it and now he knows not to make the same mistake again. You never learn anything about anything unless you find it out for yourself and experience things on your own. You can't go through life just taking other peoples word for shit. That kind of stuff gets you nowhere.
So it's funny, because despite my realization that my entire faith in the human race is completely and utterly lost, and people are going to suck no matter how much you want to believe otherwise, I feel a strange sense of contentment right now. I feel like at this point, I'm prepared for anything, and that's a good feeling. I feel like I know more about myself right now than I ever did before.
But I have to ask one thing, which is why I decided to post this entry in my public journal as opposed to ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) ___prettypistol, even though the two ideas hardly seem to relate to one another:
At the end of the day, what did Holden really accomplish?
This question is not rhetorical, and I'd like an answer from anyone who even remotely knows that they're talking about.
"I'm only human."
"How come people only say that when they've done something wrong?"
---The United States of Leland. A movie that, more often than not, I find myself relating to. If you haven't seen it yet I really don't know what you're waiting for.
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