The last thing you want to hear when you let your dog out to pee is a *thud* followed by a desperate squeaking.

My bull terrier, Sparkles, got a possum ._.

As soon as I got her away from it - relativley quickly - I went to see if the prone marsupial was alright. It was still breathing, though it stopped when I knelt down to inspect it. It was a brushtail- it's big brown eyes stared vacantly into space, it's little pink hands all curled up. I moistened the back of my hand and held it under his snout to see if I could feel it's breath, but there was nothing. I presumed he was dead.

By this time Dad had woken up and was thoughroly disturbed by the scene, so it was up to me to dispose of the ex-possum. (I've never even cleaned up after my dogs.) Unfortunatly when I approached it after grabbing some plastic bags, it seemed to be breathing again. Once again, when I approached it, the breathing ceased. (DUUUUUUUUUR I guess that's where the term "playing possum" comes from hurrrrrrrr durrrrr.) I stood there for what seemed like a lifetime trying to work up the courage to decapitate it with a shovel or something in order to put the fatally wounded little darling out of its misery, but I just couldn't. I prodded it a few times and poked it's eye with a stick- no reaction. That's good. Well no, it's horrible when any animal dies, but at least it's suffering was over.

I don't think I'll be forgetting the feeling of picking up a limp, still-warm possum and wrapping it in plastic to be binned (frantically apologising to it the whole time) any time soon :(

The worst part is, if I hadn't been awake with a god-awful cough instead of having an early night to make my 8am start tomorrow (eh, today) I wouldn't have been awake to let Sparkles out  ;_;

Having a sweet little runt of a Staffy jump up onto the arm of your chair and snuggle up in your lap is one thing.

Having a 30kg gassy bull terrier plonk her oversized mass across you is quite another.

Also, I seem to be having trouble staying verticle. This wouldn't pose a problem were I a rent-a-vag, but for a woman of virtue such as myself it only serves as a reminder of why I shouldn't wear high heels ._. (A point which was accentuated when I had to peel my blood-encrusted tights off my poor scabby knee and ankles.)

Tagged by rininjapan
Rules:
♥ People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

♥ Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

o1◢ How has LJ changed your life?
-- It's kept me from writing in ye olde tyme paper diaries which sucks because I was able to be a lot more honest and open with myself in those. Even when I set my LJ entries to Private, it just doesn't have the same feel.

o2◢ What do you do before bedtime?
-- Interwebs.

o3◢ What are you going to have for dinner tonight?
-- This weird stuff I picked up at the local Asian grocery store. Buns with soy stuff in them and vegetable burrito thingies. For all I know I just consumed Chinese newspaper.

o4◢ What is the ONE place you want to go before you die if you had the money and the time? And let's keep it to somewhere on the Earth for now, shall we?
-- I want to go back to Japan when I'm skinny and have lots of money. Then Yoshiki and I shall live the high life in Shinjuku all day. *dreams*

o5◢ Are you an introvert or extrovert?
-- Introverted. It's very annoying ._.

o6◢ What do you do in your free time?
-- Once again- INTERNET. (I've stopped drawing.)

o7◢ Do you trust easily?
-- In some ways. I'm exceedingly gullible but I don't really trust anyone with my true emotions.

o8◢ What personal belonging do you have with you everywhere you go?
-- Wallet, phone, X-Japan torch-keychain-thingy and perfume. Yeah, I couldn't pick just a single item.

o9◢ Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
-- Isolation ._. Suffering the after-effects of my self-imposed exile from society.

1o◢ What is your best quality?
-- Fussiness is probably my best and worst quality. YOU CALL THIS COKE FROZEN?!

11◢ Is being tagged fun?
-- Being tagged in my pants is fun.

12◢ How do you see yourself?
--  Ugly, lazy and unmotivated, yet for some reason rather snooty.

13◢ If you could be anyone for one day, who would you be?
-- US President so I could launch nukes at China.

14◢ What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
-- The kind of person who refuses to believe they are a person.

15◢ Would you rather being single & rich or married but poor?
-- Rich and married. FUCK YOU QUIZ, I THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX!

16◢ How many children do you want to have, if any?
-- Two, so if one gets hit by a car I still have an extra crotchspawn to continue the family name and make sure all my cool stuff doesn't get auctioned off to hobos.

17◢ What's better, to give or to receive?
-- Giving someone you really care about a gift that you've merticuerlously picked out for them and then watching their face light up is the best feeling ever. (Says the materialistic consumerist.)

18◢ If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
-- The last time that happened I ended up falling for a newcomer over my original crush. Then again, these were just one-sided crushes that don't mean anything, so meh.

19◢ Would you have 100% safe sex with a stranger for $10,000,000?
-- Hellz yes, I could finally buy me that mansion on the moon.

2o◢ What were your parents going to name you if you'd been born the opposite gender?
-- Benjamin. Actually I have a feeling that my half-brother may have named one of his offspring that. Hm. Shows how close we are.

I TAG EVERYONE WHO READS THIS! I want you all to waste 10 minutes of your young lives on it!

FUCK YEAH, BRISBANE INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL STARTS ON THE 31ST!

I am deeply disappointed at the lack of documentaries this year :( This looks pretty decent though. And as a film student, I get $15 off if I order a Take 5 pass which gets you into... you guessed it, five movies. ME GET CULTURED!

Speaking of studies, I am now officially a Uni student. Again. I honestly feel like I'm the queen of false starts. My first day back wasn't too overbearing- the Film and Television unit I'm undertaking involves watching movies and writing reviews. I could get horribly used to this.

What's that feeling you get after buying 4 pairs of shoes online and then discovering that your favourite band is commencing their world tour at the start of the school holidays?

It's something between euphoria and insane amounts of stress... "Stressphoria" if you will. Would that money have been better spent saving for an end of year holiday to see said band? Well, actually it should have been spent on textbooks but for God's sake I have PRIORITIES here, man!

And despite the fact that I'm getting a parcel full of shoes I'll hardly ever get a chance to wear, my number one priority is getting a front row seat for this.



Om nom nom.

"Oh shit!" moment #1: Trying to figure out where you put your hide posters and realising the last time you saw them was when you inadvertantly placed them next to a pile of rubbish during Spring Cleaning... TT________TT

"Oh shit!" moment #2: hide plushies have gone missing in action.

"Oh shit!" moment #3: iTunes eats your Music Library for no reason.

This is not a good day :(

I need alcohol.

Scratch tomorrow night.

I totally forgot people have work/Uni the next day. Such is the curse of working casual hours- you forget what standard hours are @_@

Howzabout this then- comment and tell me when you're free in the week and I shall hunt you down for raep.

Sorry I fail so hardcore at organising meet ups.

If you wanna rock out with your cock out for a while, please come out to play on Sunday.

When: 15/6/08 7pm
Where: Under the clocks at Flinders street
Plans: Karaoke would be awesome if y'all up for dat shit, also munching on delicious forigen candies from my backpack.

Anyway, comment if you can come.

Oh, fuck you X.

Fuck you for making me cry like a little bitch whenever I watch your concerts.

Fuck you for taking me to my happy place and then kicking me back out into the real world.

Fuck you for making me feel in the face of apathy.
 

Desert Rose
Why do you live alone?
If you are sad
I'll make you leave this life
Are you white, blue or bloody red?
All I can see is drowning in cold grey sand

The winds of time
You knock me to the ground
I'm dying of thirst
I wanna run away
I don't know how to set me free to live
My mind cries out feeling pain

I've been roaming to find myself
How long have I been feeling endless hurt
Falling down, rain flows into my heart
In the pain I'm waiting for you
Can't go back
No place to go back to
Life is lost, Flowers fall
If it's all dreams
Now wake me up
If it's all real
Just kill me

I'm making the wall inside my heart
I don't wanna let my emotions get out
It scares me to look at the world
Don't want to find myself lost in your eyes
I tried to drown my past in grey
I never wanna feel more pain
Ran away from you without saying any words
What I don't wanna lose is love

Through my eyes
Time goes by like tears
My emotion's losing the color of life
Kill my heart
Release all my pain
I'm shouting out loud
Insanity takes hold over me

Turning away from the wall
Nothing I can see
The scream deep inside
reflecting another person in my heart
He calls me from within
"All existence you see before you
must be wiped out :
Dream, Reality, Memories,
and Yourself"

I begin to lose control of myself
My lust is so blind, destroys my mind
Nobody can stop my turning to madness
No matter how you try to hold me in your heart
Why do you wanna raise these walls?
I don't know the meaning of hatred
My brain gets blown away hearing words of lies
I only want to hold your love

Stab the dolls filled with hate
Wash yourself with their blood
Drive into the raging current of time
Swing your murderous weapon into the belly
"the earth"
Shout and start creating confusion
Shed your blood for pleasure
And what? For love?
What am I supposed to do?

I believe in the madness called "Now"
Past and future prison my heart
Time is blind
But I wanna trace my love
on the wall of time, over pain in my heart
Art of life
Insane blade stabbing dreams
Try to break all truth now
But I can't heal this broken heart in pain
Cannot start to live, Cannot end my life
Keep on crying

Close my eyes
Time breathes I can hear
All love and sadness
melt in my heart

Dry my tears
Wipe my bloody face
I wanna feel me living my life
outside my walls

You can't draw a picture of yesterday, so
You're painting your heart with your blood
You can't say "No"
Only turning the wheel of time
with a rope around your neck
You build a wall of morality and take a breath
from between the bricks
You make up imaginary enemies and are chased by them
You're trying to commit suicide
You're satisfied with your prologue
Now you're painting your first chapter black
You are putting the scraps of life together
and trying to make an asylum for yourself
You're hitting a bell at the edge of the stage
and
You are trying to kill me

I believe in the madness called "Now"
Time goes flowing, breaking my heart
Wanna live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I haven't found what I'm looking for
Art of life
I try to stop myself
But my heart goes to destroy the truth
Tell me why
I want the meaning of my life
Do I try to live? Do I try to love?
In my dream...

I'm breaking the wall inside my heart
I just wanna let my emotions get out
Nobody can stop
I'm running to freedom
No matter how you try to hold me in your world
Like a doll carried by the flow of time
I sacrificed the present moment for the future
I was in chains of memory half-blinded
Losing my heart, walking in the sea of dreams

Close my eyes
Rose breathes I can hear
All love and sadness melt in my heart
Dry my tears
Wipe my bloody face
I wanna feel me living my life
outside my mind

Dreams can make me mad
I can't leave my dream
I can't stop myself
Don't know what I am
What lies are truth?
What truths are lies?

I believe in the madness called "Now"
Time goes flowing, breaking my heart
Wanna live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I haven't found what I'm looking for
Art of life
I try to stop myself
But my heart goes to destroy the truth
Tell me why
I want the meaning of my life
Do I try to live? Do I try to love?

Art of life
An Eternal Bleeding heart
You never wanna breathe your last
Wanna live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I'm feeling for
A Rose is breathing love
in my life