| New Scotland |
[Jul. 10th, 2008|01:30 am] |
And the Internet Detox
by AK Clarkling
Amy had decided that to coincide with her family's trip to Nova Scotia she would also take a mental vacation from the wonderful world of the Interwebs. This was partially due to the fact that she had noticed a rather dramatic spike in the obsession and also to get away from all of this. All the silliness that she often puts herself in.
Just today a dear friend of Amy disclosed to her that he felt she liked to be sad. Often times putting herself in situations where she would have the most possibility to be sad. She felt rather affronted by this allegation at first, but, on careful examination of her current situation Amy cannot help but see some truth to it. Which makes her feel pretty stupid, simply put.
Thus, goodbye! She'll be back. Hopefully with Ellen Page on her arm and lobsters following her as tasty pets. And on the Bluenose. And....Unemployed? I don't know that much about Nova Scotia, yo.
Now, to go and take care of some things that can't be taken care of when sleeping in a tent with your brother for 10 days.
I love you and miss you.
THE END
Epilogue:
And then Amy had relations with all your moms. And named all their illegitimate children really cliche stupid names that a 12 year old would have chosen. Stupid epilogue.
PS - If you want a postcard you should send your address to my email before I leave tomorrow. So....GO. |
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| Well, then. |
[Jul. 7th, 2008|11:39 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Fill my little world - The Feeling | ] |
Everything is illuminated
and nothing hurt.
Half of that is true,
and it is the only half that matters.
I want to come over,
sings the gay.
Happy, happy, joy joy.
These are things that I feel,
in unequal part to the sad.
In the end,
then,
I am in the lead.
But certainly not leading.
I'm going to Nova Scotia on Thursday with my family for 10 days. I'm not sure if the Internet's made it out East yet. So, I'll inscribe my messages for you on sheep and send them this way. Even if my note isn't funny, my note should make at least one person laugh regardless. |
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| I needed a break. |
[Jul. 3rd, 2008|12:58 am] |
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Hell Harold, you could just eat nothing but pancakes if you wanted.
Harold Crick: What is wrong with you? Hey, I don't want to eat nothing but pancakes, I want to live! I mean, who in their right mind in a choice between pancakes and living chooses pancakes?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Harold, if you pause to think, you'd realize that that answer is inextricably contingent upon the type of life being led... and, of course, the quality of the pancakes. |
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| What's with these homies? |
[Jul. 2nd, 2008|11:33 am] |
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Dissin my girl? Why do they gotta front? What did I ever do to these guys, that made them so violent? But you know I'm yours, and I know you're mine. And that's why. You know, I look just like Buddy Holly, and you're Mary Tyler Moore. I don't care what they say about us anyway, I don't care about that. Don't you ever fear, I'm always there. I know that you need help. Your tongue is twisted, your eyes are slit. You need a guardian. Knocking on the door? Another bang bang get down on teh floor. Oh no! What did we do? Don't look now, but I lost my shoe. I can't run and I can't kick, what's a matter, babe? Are you feeling sick? What's a matter, what's a matter, what's a matter with you? What's a matter, babe? Are you feeling blue? Oh. |
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| Lust... |
[Jun. 27th, 2008|12:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Proud | ] |
...I mean, Pride! Whoa! It's here.
I'm pretty excited you guys. Pretty, really excited.
Am I ready for Pride? Let's see.
Sleep Deprivation: Check.
Vodka in Bag: Check.
DykeCut: Check to the extreme!
Adorable: Done and done!
'I'm coming out' on mp3 playah: I want the world to know!
Desire to See All of You: Doe eyed check. |
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| I just don't know |
[Jun. 25th, 2008|10:59 am] |
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what to do with it all. |
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| Aw, man. |
[Jun. 23rd, 2008|09:11 am] |
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George Carlin....:( |
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| Today marks |
[Jun. 20th, 2008|11:43 am] |
the first time I have ever cried over toothpaste.
So, I have very poor benefits at Indigo. And I'm not covered by my parents and I ain't in school to get those ones either. So all and all a bad scene. Especially, say, if you have 4 cavities and need a root canal. I just got a cleaning/xrays and it was 400 dollars. Which I will have to pay, out of my empty pockets. So, I can't eat things that are hot or cold. Which is good, because I really shouldn't be eating anymore anyways.
So, the nicest kid in the world, who works at Indigo goes out and buys me Sensodyne for my teeth. Because she found me crying in the bathroom. Because I'm super stupid like that. But, then the toothpaste on my desk made me cry. Because that's just fucking sweet. If only we could all live on sweetness. But, that just leads to cavities. |
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| I sometimes feel |
[Jun. 19th, 2008|10:04 am] |
as though I'm perpetually on hold.
There are times where my life seems as if it's happening in realtime. For example performing a poem, hosting the open mic, attending any number of the queer events I've been hittin up.
But then when I'm at work everything is the same. Tuesday shipment, Wednesday clean, Thursday shipment, Friday clean, Saturday stall. Nothing changes. It's not a unpleasant feeling, just a stagnant one.
I think comparably to the future-times I dislike the now. Did you know that humber has a comedy program? I didn't until recently and now my mind is always trying to remind me. Wake me up. Shake me about. But when can that happen? I have to finish this English degree. But when is that going to happen? Is that going to happen?
And then there's the matter of the ladies. Oh, girls. I told Lauren that this was up and it and the very next day she got herself a girlfriend. Now, I'm not jealous of not being with Lauren, because as we know that would have not gone so smoothly. But a little pining wouldn't have killed her, y'know? And now Cheryl is happily coupled with a girl who felt the need to machosqueeze my hand when I met her. Really? This is how the lesbians are rolling? With macho-esque endevours? And again, I want these two girls to be happy because I genuinely cared about them very much but how come I don't get to be happy with a new lady too? Which is more than a little immature and whiny, I'm aware.
Where does the good go? Where does the good go?
But I'm excited. Despite the stagnancy. There are horizons that are becoming more than glimpses and I keep moving forward. I get tripped up, at times, but ultimately I know to go forward. Now, if I can just stop falling for unavailable girls I think I'll be alright. |
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| Sparkly eyes |
[Jun. 17th, 2008|10:12 am] |
I got a last minute request to host the Open Mic again tonight. Which is pretty exciting. So, you should probably come. And sing. Yes, you. All of you.
My life is a roller coaster of emotion! Come, ride along with me. |
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| Big hands I know you're the one. |
[Jun. 14th, 2008|11:45 am] |
Dear Future Girlfriend,
Please do not do the following: yell, manipulate, jab, use tears as a weapon, ignore, judge, mock, sneer, berate, cheat, jerk, or hate.
Please do: smile, laugh, hug, tease, teach, share, grow, mature, praise, inform, spread, give, take, scratch, kiss, enjoy and love.
Or maybe this is the wrong way to go about it. Maybe I should say what I'm willing to do. Which is just about anything. Because I would do anything for love. But I won't do that. |
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| Always the case. |
[Jun. 11th, 2008|11:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lonely | ] |
Sometimes I feel, I've got to run away. I've got to get away from the pain that she drives into the heart of me. The love we shared really went no where. I've lost my light and now I toss and turn, I can't sleep at night. See, once I ran to her but now I run from her. This tainted love she's given, I gave her all a girl could give her. She took my tears and that's not nearly all. Oh, tainted love.
Now, I know I've got to run away. I've got to get away, she doesn't really want anymore from me. To make things right, I need someone to hold me tight. Sometimes I think love is to pray, but I'm sorry, I don't pray that way. Don't touch me, please, I cannot stand the way she teased. I loved her even though she hurt me so. But you know what? I'm going to pack my things and go. |
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| Sit Down, Amy |
[Jun. 2nd, 2008|11:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nervous | ] |
So.
Tomorrow at 9PM I'm going to be hosting a little Open Mic business at Club Alibi on Yonge just south of Wellesley. Deb Pierce asked me to host in her absence as apparently she has to be in Evil Dead or something. Priorities, really.
Thus far I've had one panic attack over the issue and am not entirely sure my heart is anywhere but in my throat. I'm so entirely done with me. Done. So over me. Blah!
Is it Wednesday yet? |
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| step step stumble stumble |
[May. 27th, 2008|11:38 pm] |
Babble, Babble, Bitch, Bitch
Rebel, Rebel, Party, Party
Sex, sex, sex, don't forget the violence
Blah, blah, blah
Got your lovey-dovey sad and lonely
Stick your stupid slogan in
Everybody sing along |
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[May. 14th, 2008|02:16 am] |
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I kind of like the whole being on stage thing... |
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| Always the Coolest |
[May. 4th, 2008|10:26 pm] |
I believe the purpose of weekends was originally to bask in the no working times, but in reality it only serves to remind us of how awesome it is to spend money rather than make it.
Let's see. Allow me to update you in the life and times of one Amy C. Awesome. That is my actual name, few people know. Be humbled.
- Relearned to knit on Saturday. This was a fun excursion down in the East end. I learned a lot about how to make knitting dirty (you have to make a vagina shape to cast on and it's important to be not too tight, and not too loose). I am currently knitting a present to the one woman who won't ever break my heart. My mom.
- Saw Iron Man today. Holy moly! And I don't use Holy moly lightly, ya'll. It was superb. It's right up there with the Batman. More campy and fun though. Also? A trailer for the Batman was on the movie. Which was pretty awesome. And sad.
- Last Tuesday after the Softball Meeting I performed my slam poem at an open mic. It went over fairly well and so this Tuesday I'm thinking of going back with my man Leah and doing a little stand-up. This will depend greatly on my level of nerves from now until then. And if I actually write something down. I have this creative wall where I feel like unless I write it down I don't have to suck. So I continually write nothing down. I'm so tricky!
- Girls continue to be confusing. I'm sure I will have discussion with you varies of people to confirm/deny this claim. I expect very little denial.
- I apologize for redundancy. Not just mine, but erreebodies. That's hard to spell phonetically. But I tried my best. |
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| Someone's boyfriend rules |
[May. 1st, 2008|08:23 am] |
And it's Sam's. I got home last night at about 12, fairly drunkish, and was telling him about all my fabulous new girl woes. Because I had been out for a day, so of course I would be reminded of the lame that is girls. And I was telling him how tired I was but how I had to stay up to finish my laundry. And he fully suggested that he could switch my laundry over. And he did. And so I got to go to sleep immediately. Scott = Awesome.
I think today could rule, though. I hope it does. |
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| Freedom = Quiz Results |
[Apr. 27th, 2008|12:39 pm] |
9 - the Peacemaker Thanks for taking the test !
you chose BX - your Enneagram type is NINE (aka "The Mediator")
"I am at peace"
Peacemakers are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union
with others and the world around them. How to Get Along with Me
- If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially
don't like expectations or pressure.
- I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advantage of this.
- Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit.
- Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge
me gently and nonjudgmentally.
- Ask me questions to help me get clear.
- Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery.
- Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings.
- I like a good discussion but not a confrontation.
- Let me know you like what I've done or said.
- Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life.
What I Like About Being a NINE
- being nonjudgmental and accepting
- caring for and being concerned about others
- being able to relax and have a good time
- knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around
- my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good
mediator and facilitator
- my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and
now
- being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe
What's Hard About Being a NINE
- being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive
- being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline
- being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally
- being confused about what I really want
- caring too much about what others will think of me
- not being listened to or taken seriously
NINEs as Children Often
- feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant
- tune out a lot, especially when others argue
- are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves
NINEs as Parents
- are supportive, kind, and warm
- are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective
Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele
The Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
Harper
SanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages
You liked the test?
so S P R E A D I T ! tell everyone!!!
(use Quick-Paste below)
you wanna know MORE?
so check out, what Wikipedia says about your type...
...even more you'll find in Google
or do you prefer to
You are not completely happy with the result?!
You chose BX
Would you rather have chosen:
AX (SEVEN)
CX (TWO)
BY (FOUR)
BZ (FIVE)
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| I think I'm funny |
[Apr. 26th, 2008|09:58 pm] |
Amy: So, someone was telling me that they could understand someone else saying I was verbally abusive. But I just thought I was sarcastic...
Mona: that is totally weird to hear. you're the farthest thing from abusive ever. you're like... like... goddamn, i don't know. a freakin conch on the beach or something.
(wow. i know that made no sense. but it did in my tiny little head.)
Amy: I represent democracy? |
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| Era - End |
[Apr. 25th, 2008|09:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | jubilant | ] |
If my name was Ira I would have had a cooler subject line.
Today marks the end of all the educational training I need to be a real teacher. If I didn't owe the school I could probably even petition to graduate without the missing requirement and be a real teacher. But I'm going to get my honours, thus making all that bunk anyways, but regardless. I'm done, man.
Highlights:
My teacher was awesome all day. Helping out. Telling me to run and see this person. Making sure they said something on the announcements about my leaving.
The kids were awesome. I read them many a picture book and they all wrote me letters. One kid got me a watch! Holy smokes! It's very bling-blingin.
I was given cards and a mug!
One kid's mom brought me tulips at lunch and explained that the little girl hadn't been feeling well but did not want to miss my last day and pleaded to come to school anyways. As if my heart couldn't break any more...
Between the Finding Nemo, popcorn, and freezies I think I broke the kids' minds with the affection I was giving to them. When I pulled out kites for all of them they pretty much melted into gooey puddles of happiness.
So many hugs goodbye.
I'm going to miss them all so much and fully intend to go back and visit in May/June. I can't believe it's finally done. I can't believe I get to go back to making money. I can't believe I get to see my friends again. It's all too much my happiness. Jubilant is apt. |
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