Hello Chaps! I was trying to read the last two month's LJ but YouTube is far more entertaining - there is a video of David O'Doherty singing a song I'd not heard about an orange girl which nearly made me wee myself laughing. Being LJ-less for the majority of the time is strangely freeing, probably because no one talks to me now I'm without it. When did it become the only way some people could communicate? How many people can say that this happens at work? I am the coolest.

Hello. I am sitting under a tree in Edinburgh, modern technology eh? The others have gone to see The Trap, actually I think they've just finished, because I am sure I just heard Isabelle's laugh drifting accross the Courtyard. Richard Herring has just flyered me for his own show, hard times people, hard times. I ran out of money day one, thank you NatEAST, with your wonderful charges. Have been flyering, which has been surprisingly enjoyable. The Royal Mile is torturous though, I have managed to avoid it for the past two years, the chap I was flyering for was doing some amazing street performing though, something I never thought I'd find myself saying.

Have just read Mark Watson's first chapter of the book he is writing with his audience, I am most impressed, there is a teacher called Miss Nightingale in chapter one.

A week in, we have changed personnel and have swapped Chris & Jo [who left their room in an appaulling state *wags finger in derision*], Becca, Katy and lovely lovely Michael + Kathy for Dan + Mel and we haven't let Cat go home. Eight days down, nine to go, the last week involves kipping on floors, I really should start begging very soon.

Tonight we see Daniel Kitson's C90 play and We Are Klang! for the second time, because we all loved it so much first time round that we couldn't bear to let Dan and Mel see it without us. Other highlights so far include Robin Ince [with added martylog], The Receipt [Perrier winner Will Adamsdale's amazing show, with added Moog], Take a Break Tales, anything Mark Watson has done and Russell Howard's fabulous show [hahaha Miriam I can tell you a story to make you jealous].

Right, counting down the remaining minutes at work now, then I am out of here for very nearly three weeks. I'll be here, running around cramming far too much into not enough hours of the day, dashing from one side of Edinburgh to the other, this year without 'Clare's Fringe'* to fuel me.  

Have finished the costumes, the play is going to be brilliant.  If you are up for the Fringe at all do come along and see it, it's for kids but it is dead funny if you are a big kid too - details.  I am most looking forward to Andrew Lawrence, Bad Play,  Book Club, C-90, Comedy Club 4 Kids, David O'Doherty, Dirty Book Club, Glenn Wool, Honorable Men of Art, Jim Henson's Puppet improv, John Oliver & Andy Zaltzman, Josie Long, Justin Edwards, Mark Watson's many shows, Matt Kirshen, Natalie Haynes, Neil Edmond, Nick Doody, Phil Nichol, Mr Reginald D Hunter, Rhys Darby, Robin Ince, Russell Howard, Talk Radio, Tim Minchin, Tony Law, We Are Klang, Wil Hodgson, Will Smith...


Please don't burgle our flat.


There will be curly fries, oh yes...


* Equal parts Irn Bru and Tia Maria, it's as vile and gut-rot inducing as it sounds and most probably the reason why I ended up giving up the booze.



PS - Anything pressing, or if you want a postcard or to tell me some news, send me email or text me or phone me [phone is working again now - phew] - I'll check my phone sporadically everyday and my email probably every week, unless he manage to nick some jammy wifi with Isabelle's laptop...

I think this is my favourite photo of all time, ever, ever.

Book Club tonight.  This makes Clare very happy.

I think I may well go to the 'OK Club with Les Marsh' at the Boogaloo tomorrow also.  Friday I will finish the squirrel costume [the ant costume and the otter costume are done and look suitably daft].

Been off work with another RVD [Random Vomiting Disease], I wish I wasn't ill so often, or if it was to continue that I could at least profit with some alarming weightloss.


Yesterday I listened to lots of Morrissey records [and have now earwormed myself with lots of his wailing rather than tangible lyrics, 'Oh ooh ooohhooooohhhooooooohh..'].  It struck me when listening to 'Every Day is Like Sunday' that you don't get proper Sundays anymore, not those like Moz sings about, 'Every day is silent and grey'.  What with Sunday trading laws and especially in London, Sunday markets and the like, Sundays aren't the sleepy, wallow in bed, bored, days that they used to be.  I never thought as a child that I would miss those dull days helping mum shell peas and laying the table for Sunday lunch, then watching Dad 'resting his eyes' until he stopped 'resting his eyes' so I could badger him into stealing Mum's radio cassette player to spend hours loading games to play on the ZX Spectrum only for them to crash after five minutes, ending the day curling up on the sofa to watch Howard's Way.  Now there are never enough hours in the week and time is a precious commodity, if nothing else catching up on the laundry and going to buy food for the week's packed lunches.  I want true boredom.  Nothing to do but to laze and wander and make adventures happen.


I am living on toast and ice lollies.  The little cafe in the park near the office does the second best ice cream I have ever tasted.  Today I went to buy one for my lunch and they'd run out of mint choc chip.  So I did not have an ice cream.  Boo.

I wish it wasn't so damn hot.

During our 7 hour journey home from Latitude Festival on Monday, catbo and I played a game. [we were very tired]

I went to a festival and I took with me...

an Apple
my Bottom
some Candied Peel
a Dashing Dandy
an Egg timer
a Flag
GIANT BOGGLE
a Hat
Incey -Robin Ince's Brendan Burns-ish alter-ego
Jam - by Danielle Steel
Knotty Ash, the concept album by Ken Dodd
Laika, the first Dog in space
Moonraker, starring Roger Moore-ph on SPECIAL edition DVD
Nightvision Goggles
Olaf Olafsson, the icelandic weightlifter
Pam Ayres!
Quentin Crisp
Realistic, life-size EYES
Sufferin' Succatash [sp?]
Tea for Two and Two for Tweezers
an Underground raver
some Veras
Would you believe it - THE WHOLE BOOK CLUB!
Xenophobic Richard Littlejohn
'YESTERDAY Once More' (The Paul McCartney Tribute band, fronted by his secret lovechild, shewho)
a Zoo with a hole 'Under The Aaardvark'


I couldn't find my camera before I left the house to head to the festival and am so glad for Flickr and the fact that we were camping with a journalist. Best photos are Jon Appleyard's and Kat-with-a-K's.

Title of the first email in my inbox this morning:
Brian Conley's rollocking new entertainment show!! - TV tickets!!
Um, no. Dear god no.

Back from possibly the best weekend ever. Latitude Festival may well have been the holiday with friends and family that I needed.

Back to earth with a bump though. I have ballsed up with money, largely because evil Paypal had held back on some debit card payments by a matter of weeks and when they finally processed them [I foolishly assumed that they had cleared] sent me over my overdraft limit, because of that my direct debits for mobile phone bill and credit card haven't gone through and I have been completely shafted in over limit payments by each and my bank. COCKSMITH. I have absolutely no money to last me the next 13 days till payday and I need to buy 2 weekly travelcards and food. SHITFUCK.

With Edinburgh next month I needed to be really secure, but I have completely screwed up. I AM AN IDIOT.

Gone here, back Monday.

Approximately 3% of my friendslist will find this very funny.