I need to get a normal job [September 20, 2008 | 11:03 PM] [ mood | tired ] [ music | his eye is on the sparrow ~ the idea of north ] Because this job isn't doing me any good. My wrists and feet are hurting, and I swear I'm developing bunions :( I hardly talk to my mother anymore which saddens me because I miss her a lot. Watched Mamma Mia! with Bri the day before yesterday and I cried so much during the "bonding" scene. I used to lie in my mum's arms late at night and gossip to her about my friends and relationships. Not revealing too much, but still, those were precious moments that are slipping through my fingers now. Things that I can't wait for this autumn! - autumn fashion - multicoloured leaves - HALLOWEEN - Samhain (I'm going to finally be able to experience a ritual in intensity) - witches, cauldrons and potions :D First I'll get my right of abode visa sorted, and then I can apply for normal, boring office jobs. Ugh. I feel like I have no energy to do anything.

letting go and starting fresh // reminiscence [September 01, 2008 | 06:36 PM] [ mood | lazy ] [ music | his eye is on the sparrow ~ the idea of north ] London has really been an awakening. I knew that it would be from the beginning..... but its like reading about swimming and learning the strokes theoratically, practicing it even, and then jumping into the Thames. When I think of home I think of food and how I took it for granted that a good tasting bowl of Curry Mee was available any time of day. The food here is shit compared to the spread we have. And everytime I see an oriental looking person I secretly hope that they're Malaysian or even better, a Penangite. The look on my mum's face when she said goodbye, I don't think either of us expected it to be that heart wrenching; my brother's silent tears as he promised to tell me about his conquests and triumphs on PS2; daddy and his serene smile and his warnings about men and drugs; saying goodbye to Sam, and not wanting to let go as I held on to him in the basement of Gurney Plaza; being cool with Yishu, TJ, Obi, Teressa, EeNing, Avril and Asyraf, telling them that I'll see them when I see them. My life back home was starting to fall into place when I uprooted myself. This chaos that I've dived into... its not going to end well, but its never felt so right. Millie, I find your voice very soothing. ~Luis I sing because I'm happy.

for fuck's sake [August 21, 2008 | 06:18 PM] [ mood | tired ] I come on LJ for the first time in forever, wanting to do a quickie and check what's been up, and what do I see? How do I deal with my clingy boyfriend pleeeeeeeeeeeeeese? whine whine whine. Ugh. Quick update. Waitressing is killing me, but the money is good. Its almost 5am and I desperately need to sleep, but its like I never get enough rest these days. Bri wants to come home with me in January to see my little island o.o

my bonnie lies over the ocean // gratuitous photos [August 19, 2008 | 03:57 PM] [ mood | complacent ] [ music | warwick avenue ~ duffy ] So Bri is away for the weekend, this will be the longest we've been apart from each other, and I'm a bit depressed for it, which is weird because if you think about it, Albert and I only met on an average of once every 3 weeks, and I was (for the most part) fine with it. Its funny how hard it is to be apart from Bri. Well, at least I've got Zorro for company. He's almost a permanant fixture in my arms :) ( come to my sweet melody ) There was a mix up with my account details (the person lost them) and as of now I have not yet been paid. Ugh! And I'm supposed to go out tonight to celebrate Essie's birthday. I called my manager and to her credit she resolved it pretty quickly and promised to have my cheque (it was supposed to be directly debited) ready on Tuesday, which doesn't really help cuz thats another 3 days away AND it'll take 5 days for it to clear :( Bah. I was supposed to buy rum *sob* Not helping my situation is Patti, who brought me to Covent Garden food market last night along with a couple of Russian friends of hers who were really sweet. I paid £7 for 6 oysters and slurrrrped away happily :D They were good! After that I caught sight of a fudge stall and all my inhibitions went out the window. £7.85 later I walked away with 3 blocks of fudge. Chocolate Rum & Raisin, Caramel Clotted Cream (for Bri) and Dark Chocolate (MMMMM). Sigh, it was a good evening :)

life so far [August 17, 2008 | 06:39 AM] [ mood | indescribable ] [ music | sex and the city movie ] I know a real update is long overdue... We regularly have cheese and wine nights (rum or white wine for me), just sitting outside in the garden or at the park a stone's throw away from the house. Aside from a few spats with the housemates, which I take to be inevitable since we're meshing so many different personalities in one house (you've heard of Big Brother haven't you), everything's been peachy and I get along rather well with everybody. So far I've only met one friend from home, Fi, a girl I used to go to school with in Primary school. She's even lovelier than I remembered her to be, glowing, gorgeous and pretty much settled in life here since her uni days with a dazzling ring on her RIGHT hand. My eating habits would disgust Yishu and I'm surprised I haven't gained 20kgs by now. Crap food is just so cheap while fruits and veggies are bloody expensive even at Tesco. I might have an accent, I don't really know, but I still speak like I used to when I'm on the phone with my family. A typical day for me (when I'm working) would be, walking to the bus stop a couple of minutes away from the house, taking a 5minute bus ride to the tube station, getting on the tube and getting off one stop away, taking another 20minute bus ride to work at Blackheath Village, a quaint little town where the restaurant is. Otherwise I'd be visiting Patti or waiting for Bri to come home to have dinner together. Right. I desperately need to write about Bri. He's this gorgeous hunk of a manboy I'm currently seeing. I say manboy because he's relatively young in numbers, and yet has a sense of maturity that peeks out sometimes. He's a typical male, likes to watch sports (the Olympics kills le sexxors), smokes occasionally, looks great in his glasses, has a swagger in his walk, speaks in a cute accent, eats like a lion, likes his coke and JD, wears size 10 shoes, is neat as a pin... and last but not least, loves me for me. He doesn't have any high expectations of me and what I need to become to fulfill his needs, he just wants me to be me. And he understands that we might grow up or change in time, but that we'd go through it with love in our hearts and let it be. The gist of it is I'm the happiest I've ever been. But I don't know what the fuck I'm doing here with my life.

Zorro [August 10, 2008 | 02:09 PM] [ mood | chipper ] Allow me to show you what's been keeping me from the internet for the past weekend :) this is Zorro, the kitten Bri and I adopted well, mostly (all) Bri, cuz I'm still broke heh I can do emo picture too! he was sad and frustrated because I forced him to sit still

curse of the UTI [July 28, 2008 | 03:42 PM] [ mood | annoyed ] Its back in full force. And guess what? Here in England you can't just pop into a pharmacy for antibiotics. I actually have to make a fucking appointment to see a doctor just for a prescription, and THEN pay £7.10 for the pills. Luckily I'm off work tomorrow so I can go to the government hospital. Yes, hallelujah I have a job. RIGHTEOUS! My first month's pay is going to go towards air tickets to Turkey, Canada and back to London after Chinese New Year. Fuck, how am I going to save enough money for an apartment I have no idea :(

Kill me now [July 10, 2008 | 03:53 AM] [ mood | frustrated ] [ music | prayers ~ clazziquai ] I received an email from Cecelia, Albert's sister, telling me that him and Michelle went out because it was her birthday and he wanted to take her out for dinner. Apparently he told her that he broke up with me etc. I wish I didn't give a shit. But its still like a slap in the face. He didn't call or text me at all on monday. I shouldn't give a damn, especially since I have Bri being so sweet to me all the time here. Fucking hell, it shouldn't still hurt! If he wants you back will you take him? Ugh. Kill me now.

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