When your daily agenda includes:

-Going to work when you normally don't work weekends
-Interviewing potential roommates
-Doing laundry in 90-something degree heat

While your girlfriend's daily agenda includes going to see pig racing and the demolition derby at the county fair.

Life's no fair!

After falling in deep lust with the Worishofer slingbacks that and_old_lace modeled in a fatshionista, I've been obsessing about them and debating whether or not the $65 was worth it for a pair of ugly-pretty shoes like these.



After she posted about them, I polled two of my BFF's, one of who said that she thought they were ugly-ugly, not ugly pretty.

But then, I kept on seeing really fashionable women in New York wearing the exact same shoes, so I concluded that my instincts were right and that the shoes were slammin', and that I needed them ASAP. The only problem is that they were pricey, and I wanted to try them on before committing to them, but the only vendor in the area was not at all near me, and had shitty hours. So, I put my love on hold.

Yesterday, I stopped by DSW to get a pair of flip flops that Tania had that I wanted, when I came across these babies.



OMG! Not only were they really similar in style to the Worishofer's, but they're also super girly and kind of art nouveau-esque in the pattern. PLUS they're incredibly comfortable and on sale for $50! So of course, I snapped them up with a quickness. God, buying a pair of shoes after holding out for a month is like having a much-needed orgasm. "Questing for cute-yet-comfortable shoes" is one of my user interests for a REASON, people!

Anyway, off to work* for me.


*In completely unrelated news, I've been working all weekend (board meeting) and getting up at obscene hours (Hello, 6am, nice to meet you! It's been awhile.), and I have some AWESOME news to share very very soon.

Yesterday, I posted a roommate want ad to craigslist, and was pleasantly surprised to get a lot of responses from some folks who sounded pretty awesome overall. I'm setting up a bunch of interviews for this weekend and next week, which is excellent too.

But as we all know there are crazies on the internet. Evidence? I got yours right here.

This little gem popped into my inbox last night.

Subject: IM INTERESTED

I was perusing through available rooms on craigslist and found your ad.
I would LOVE for you to give me a place to accomplish many a great thing, for such an affordable rate.
My name is Z-- B-------*, but i also go by:
Eris Incarnate
Lisa Frank
&Miss-Information
I am an eighteen year old person currently studying various mediums of Why at the New School of Love
(although i've already been kicked out twice)
I have just given notice of departure to the landlord of the apartment i've been figuring within, which was located in New Bedford MA,
also known as the Wailing City.
I like to stick my fingers through all sorts of mediums, including melody, color, and SEEM-stressing.
The project i've been holding to biggest consequence is an orchestra i'm putting together entitled:
THE GOLDEN APPLE CORE
Eris Incarnate
&
The Destructo Team

Everyone is invited, and we're going to paint the big apple GOLDEN.
Please get back to me, for although i don't mind the sporadic nature of couch hopping, it doesn't allow for me to have many of my favorite resources near my hands.

I'd be looking to move in ASAP!!
Also i figured i'd note that my mom's got the rent under wraps in accordance to due pennance.

I know they don't really do many letters/emails, but this is seriously one for the FAIL Blog.

*Real(?) name obscured to affect some basic level of consideration on my part. And if she reapplies to the New School of Love again, I sure wouldn't want to hurt her chances if they decided to Google her.

Damn all of you for getting me addicted to the FAIL Blog!

( I'm compelled to repost some of my favorites. )

This is seriously cutting into my sleep time, so goodnight!

Tomorrow: a roommate inquiry essay that belongs among the annals of epic FAIL!

1. Hahaha!

2. I found out last night that BOTH of my roommates are moving out within the next month and a half and I am fuh-REAKING out about having to interview new people and get used to sharing my living space with strangers again. Also, I might have zero furniture if Joseph decides to take it all.

3. Sending love haikus to my sweetie makes me grin.

4. I mentioned this to a couple of people, but I went to a party last night with a native Mississippian and a native New Orleanser (is that the correct terminology?), both of who said that I don't get to call myself a Southerner because I'm from Virginia, and Virginia isn't part of the South. Apparently, my lack of accent counts against me too. I generally get this reaction from folks in the Deep South, but everyone up in the Northeast considers Virginia the South!

So, I thought I'd get a vote from y'all.

Poll #1224331 The South
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

Do you consider Virginia (the southern part, not the northern part) a part of the South?

Why or why not?

Do you consider yourself a Southerner?

Why or why not?

Finally, we agreed that Virginia counts as Upper South or Northern South, but someone else reminded me that Virginia is also totally Old South.

Sometimes I hate fatshionista.

Hey, I know! Let's waste our time and internet space arguing about the most pointless thing EVER!

In other frustrating fat-related news, I had my $27 facial appointment at the Christine Valmy International School on Friday.

Like I mentioned before, I am totally agog over cheap and free spa/beauty treatments, so this was a highly anticipated event for me. But, while the facial itself was enjoyable, the before and after was fairly humiliating.

First of all, I didn't realize that the entire facial would take place in the same room as everyone else getting a facial. There were about 20 beds in the main room in two rows with about 3 feet in between each bed, so it was pretty cramped. But, it is New York and space is at a premium. And also, given that it was a school and not a high end salon, I kind of shrugged my shoulders at the less than ideal space.

Then, to my horror, the woman doing my facial asked me to strip down to my bra and panties in the bathroom and gave me a PAPER GOWN to put on. Yes, just like the ones you get at the doctor's office, ONLY FLIMSIER. And I was instructed to leave the open part in the front. Wooooohoo! Not surprisingly, the "one size fits all" gowns were too small for my extra-bodacious ass, so as soon as I tried to put it on, it ripped neatly in half down the back. Of course at this point I was also already sweating because the bathroom stall is tiny and when I'm rushed or nervous, I sweat. Not glow, like ladies do, but sweat, like a fat horse with heatstroke in a derby. I had to get re-dressed, lest I dared walk down the long hallway half naked, and asked for a new gown. Thankfully, the woman doing my facial was extremely sweet and gracious, and got me a new one immediately. The new gown also ripped, but not as bad, so I clutched my clothes in front of my open gown and scuttled down the hall past the classrooms full of beauty school students in white labcoats.

Since the bed was a little higher than waist-level, I had to sort of do a little shimmy-dance to try and maneuver myself onto it without 1) ripping the gown further, and 2) at the same time, trying to hold the gown closed so that I didn't panty-flash the whole room. Neither goal was achieved. I continued to sweat, which only worsened when I was put under a thick wool blanket once I was laid down on the table. Thankfully, the woman giving me the facial left for a minute to prep, which I used as an opportunity to mop my face off.

Like I said earlier, the actual facial was nice (I love extractions!), except for the fact that the technician didn't wash off all of the face mask she used, thereby leaving unattractive little presents behind for me and my girlfriend to rub off afterwards. But definitely worth the $27 + tip for the service itself.

Predictably, when the facial was over, the gown ripped off of me completely when I sat up. And thank freaking jesus, the technician was so so so sweet and helped shield me from the rest of the room while helping me put on a new paper gown for my trip back to the bathroom. Thank god I wore cute underwear?

Next time, of course, I am bringing my own freaking robe.

New post from moi on Fatshionista.com!

( 'For me, I have always found that when things like clothes shopping have utterly failed me as a fat girl, I have always been able to find joy in other beauty rituals, like putting on makeup, doing facials, doing my nails, and other sorts of restorative self-care.' )

via sex_and_race

Hey, look! A stupid fucking article says really stupid things!

Reading this ill-informed load of crap made me want to throttle the author. Really? Pretty people are JUST LIKE gay and disabled people? REALLY?! And, the complete lack of analysis about gender or race with the anecdote that began the piece is just...boggling. Like I said in SNR, there's a way to discuss how being traditionally "beautiful" can be a challenge, but that way is NOT to make pretty people seem like this poor, persecuted group.

"To a certain extent, some people react to an unusually attractive person as they might to a disabled person or any other disadvantaged group: by ignoring them."

Why oh why oh WHY is this author clamoring to shove pretty people under the oppression umbrella? I mean, anyone with a freaking brain knows that isms like racism, sexism, classism, etc. also hurt the privileged group, but to say that privileged people have it just as bad as oppressed groups? Jesus fucking christ. I am just...dumbfounded.

Aaaaanyway, I'll step off my soapbox for a second, but I thought y'all might also want to see what shoddy excuse for writing is passing for journalism these days.

On a completely different note, Operation CookAtHome is going fairly well. In order to save money and eat better, I'm beginning a quest to unlearn some bad habits I picked up when I moved here. Namely, eating out all of the time instead of preparing my own foods. I started it for a good enough reason - my roommate kept his cats' litterbox in the kitchen, and therefore I avoided the kitchen at all possible times - but now that the cats are gone (and have been for 6 months) I have no good reason not to cook at home. I'm also trying to conquer my dislike of leftovers. I have a limit - eating meals more than 2 or 3 times in a row is not something I enjoy, except for breakfast, which is the same thing every day 5 days a week (toasted everything bagel with butter, banana, coffee). So I figure if I can eat the same breakfast every day, I can also do it with lunch. So I'm attempting to eat chicken sandwiches on wheat with grapes and sea salt chips for lunch at least 4 times this week. I figure I can do things like add avocado and toast it to make it seem new and different and exciting, but we'll see. Last night, I made a frozen pizza and grilled some asparagus on the George Foreman, and it was excellent!

They say that unlearning a habit takes 30-something times of repeating the new habit, so all I have to do is make it for the next month, right?

I've been diligently cleaning out my closet, and I have some super cute dresses, accessories (bracelet & brooches) & tops for sale!

( Click on through for the hot deals! )

[x-posted to fatshionista and inbetweenies]

1. The Lawyer got me into Top Chef, so I've been watching all of the past seasons and drooling over the food. Question: do they put a leslie bean in the show each season on purpose (I haven't seen season 3, so maybe it's just 1, 2, and 4)? Also, I'm currently watching Season 1 and am a little bit in love with Lee Ann Wong. A cute, smart, fat Asian who can cook? How can I get on her top friend roster STAT? I would totally fix her eyebrows and help her with her makeup if she'd make me some dinner.

2. I also realized after watching hours upon hours of the show that two of Tom Colicchio's restaurants are less than 2 blocks from my work! I've walked past them (Craftbar and 'wichcraft) a billion times and never made the connection. nerd_dog and/or kellidunham (my lunching buddies!), wanna get lunch with me at 'wichcraft sometime?

3. Delicious Koren food at Kang Suh tonight with i_dreamed_i_was, her sweetie D, and their friend E tonight. My belly is rumbling in anticipation! I even dressed up a little bit since i_dreamed_i_was requested cleavage.

4. Speaking of delicious food (again), I had some fan-fucking-tastic barbecue last night with Zoe, Bevin, Deb, and Anne at Dinosaur Bar-B-Que! I have a serious food crush on deviled eggs, and theirs were nearly orgasmic. Bevin and I shared the Sweetheart Plate, a full rack of ribs + 4 sides (we got mac & cheese, greens, potato salad, and baked beans). And, I had some of the most delicious peach & blueberry cobbler EVER. Leftovers for lunch today. YUM!

5. Dinosaur BBQ is also catering the July 4 fireworks thing that The Lawyer and I are going to tomorrow night on Roosevelt Island, and I want to eat a plate of like 30 deviled eggs. Wait, make that 60, because there is no doubt in my deviled egg-obsessed brain that I could totally out-eat Cool Hand Luke.

(from bounce_n_jiggle)

Man leggings?

Are you fucking kidding me? Should I be gracious and feel excited that the menz will be sharing my devotional and unwaning love for soon-to-be-passé-but-I-won't-give-a-damn-because-they're-God's-most-perfect-chub-rub-cure leggings?

In other fashion news, I've been really down about the fact that I have a giant bin full of pretty, and neglected high heels that I haven't even looked at, much less worn, since I've lived in New York. I can't walk in them outside, (see: The Great And Terrible High Heel At Work Experiment Of 2004) it's a pain in the ass to cram a spare pair of shoes into my already overstuffed purse, and I just don't have the heart to say goodbye to them either, because that would be admitting defeat.

Also, I hate all my clothes right now and if I could, I'd throw them all away and trade for a few new and exciting pieces, but maybe that is just the PMS talking.

Over the last couple of years or so, I've developed a nasty nighttime habit: grinding my teeth.

The Lawyer says that this makes it miserable to sleep next to me, especially when compounded with my other bothersome nighttime habits (stealing blankets, my refusal to wear socks to bed and then rubbing my cold feet on her during winter, lots of tossing and turning, and snoring [and if you didn't think I was a catch before, now you know!]).

The last time I went to my dentist, she offered me the low low price of $500 to make a non-obtrusive mouth guard that would cover my back teeth and prevent grinding. When I told her that I wouldn't be able to afford it, she offered to come down another $100, which at that price point, didn't really make much of a difference to my wallet.

Anyway, it's been several months that dentist appointment, and I keep waking up with an aching jaw that makes me worry that I'm going to grind my teeth down to stumps in 5 years and kick myself for not putting in the money now.

Poll #1214753 $$$
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

Would you spend $400 on a custom mouth guard, even though you're prone to losing things?

Tell me something good.

I've also considered buying teeth whitening trays or other over-the-counter mouthguards, but the idea of putting something on for 8 hours at a time that doesn't fit me sounds like misery making.

Does anyone have any sage advice for me?

Like many of the other homos on my friends list, I am also exciting to give a quick recap of my Very! Gay! Weekend! Or really, if I'm being accurate and honest, it was more like a very... lazy... kinda... queer... weekend...

Friday night, there was a relaxing a girls' night in with Zoe, Bevin, and Genne. We chatted for a long while as we are wont to do, discussed outfits for the weekend, and had lobster mac & cheese. Yum!

On Saturday, the plan was to do brunch with Kelli & Zoe at Egg, shop a little with Zoe at H&M, and then do the lazy version of the Dyke March (i.e. meet up with everyone at 14th street and walk 10 blocks instead of meeting up with everyone at Bryant Park and walking nearly 50 blocks). Supposedly, everyone was to dress like superheroes, but I had no superhero costume, so I brought a slutty red dress with me instead. However, just as Zoe and I were about to step out of the door, the heavens opened up, and there was a torrential downpour outside that made us say thanks, but no thanks to the march. So, we sat our fat asses back down and invited folks to come over and eat dinner with us in our underwear.

Dinner was nice (Thai), and Bevin was hell-bent on making me come out with her to the dance party with the worst name ever*. She promised to be a good Wing Femme and not leave my side, and also promised to pay my cover, so I relented.

And, Bevin delivered. Like Jesus, she stayed by my side at all times. Every once in awhile, I would look down and see that there was only one set of footprints, and that's when I knew she carried me. (Except when we were shaking our asses, and then there were 2.)



I also ran into a friend up from Pittsburgh who I hadn't seen in over a year, and my sweet fag friend Al from DC! It was lovely to run into the both of them, chat for a bit, and shake asses for some choice songs.

On Sunday, the plan was to have Weekend Brunch #2, which in my opinion, is the gayest thing I did all weekend. Because to my knowledge, a love for brunch is probably one of the only thing that unites us as a community. AMIRITE? Sadly, the place we chose (5 Ninth) had pretty good food, but it was way overpriced with tiny portions.



After brunch, we met up with some folks and on our walk towards the parade route, the heavens opened up again and it started raining like crazy with insanely strong winds that blew all of our umbrellas inside out. So, Zoe, Bevin, and I ducked into an alley and waited it out until the rain ramped down to a steady shower.

This is the three of us about 2 minutes before the rain.



I ended up wearing this dress that I got recently from Lane Bryant. Bevin thought it looked more like a cocktail dress than a dressy-casual dress (which is what I was aiming for), but I've never had a problem with being overdressed, so I didn't mind.

We found a good spot on 5th Ave. and lamented that we didn't have friends or offices overlooking the parade. I wished for a lifeguard chair that would let my lazy ass look at the parade from above. Over time, more and more of our friends began to flake on the parade, but Zoe and I were troopers and stayed for about 2 hours. When it started pouring again, we decided to give up.



Overall, the weekend was really nice, and I have to say that I really enjoyed the super low key version of Pride that didn't involve feeling like I had to go to every event or attend every party lest I miss out on something fabulous and regret it later. In general, I've found that being off the market has really lessened the feelings of pressure I used to have about going to everything and the stress of always being on the prowl. And, it was a lovely weekend with great friends, good food, and some fun Homo activities interspersed throughout!


*Who thinks that Choice Cunts is an awesome or clever or appetizing name for a dyke party? Not I.

+ I made an amazing dinner last night with one of my mom's best recipes. Chinese-style spare ribs that are so fucking good that I have a visceral physical response to their smell alone. I also sauteed some baby spinach with garlic, ginger & soy which was also YUM.
- I've been trying to save money by cooking more often, but since we have no central air conditioning, cooking in a hot kitchen on a hot day is more than enough to make me want to reach for the takeout menus.

+ I got my toes done for Pride! Hot pink with silver glitter!
- The nail tech was really overzealous with the foot scraper, and now my heels are raw and tender.

+ The tailor down the street from me does some really amazing work! He is super affordable, quick, and (usually) very sweet.
- Last week I brought him a dress I had bought via fatshionista. The bust was a bit too small, so I asked him to take it out a little bit. When I went to pick it up yesterday, he advised me not to get fatter because there wasn't any more room left to take it out. English isn't his first language, so it probably came out blunter than he intended, but I was still annoyed.

+/-? Interesting developments at work that could be really good. But I can't share more than that, so I'm keeping it cryptic.

+ Zoe and I are doing the lazy version of the NYC Dyke March tomorrow! Since we don't want to walk the 40+ blocks (ETA: In 90+ degree weather!), we're going to meet up with the walking at 14th Street so we're marching more like 10 blocks. My raw and tender feet will thank me.
- I still don't know what the hell I'm wearing. My friends are dressing up like superheroes, but I have no superhero costume. I want to incorporate my gold bikini somehow, but I still haven't decided on with what I'll wear it. If only there wasn't marching, I have the perfect stilettos!

+ I've been taking advantage of all the summer sales and getting some super cheap, cute stuff!
- It adds up.

Every year on the streets and boardwalk of Coney Island, people line up to see a parade of folks dressed like mermaids, mermen, and other fantastical sea creatures. Plus, there are lots of naked and semi-naked breasticles on disply.

Of course, me, The Lawyer, and my friends just had to go. A bunch of them had been before, but this was my first time. Last year, I missed it because I had to be at a board meeting for work, but not this year!

I sucked at taking pictures, but Bevin didn't, so ( click on down! )

The parade itself was pretty great, save for the white girls dressed in geisha-mermaid costumes, the white girls doing "hip-hop hula" which was neither hip-hop nor hula, and the white girls dressed as Carmen Miranda. White girls, what gives?

Overall, people were really creative, and I loved the robot mermaids, the mermaids carrying LOLspeak signs (I CAN HAZ FISH), the little girl femmes-in-training dressed as mermaid-princesses waving at the crowd from their strollers or wagons while being pulled along by their parents, this one little girl who was maybe 5 years old and walking on stilts that were about 8 feet tall (!!!), and as I mentioned earlier, lots of topless and semi-topless ladies in costumes with varying degrees of fabulousness.

It was a lovely time, and I'm excited that I got to go and was totally inspired by some of the spectacular costumes that were on parade. And just like Zoe's niece, I declare that next year, I will be a better mermaid!


*At the beginning of this year, Zoe's little niece's New Year's Resolution was to be a better mermaid, and it's something to which we should all aspire.

As usual, I have something to be pissy about. I just posted this to Fatshionista.com.

( Text below, for the link phobic. )

Y'all, I'm back*!

Since I can't possibly catch up with the 1000+ livejournal entries that you wordy people have no doubt written in the last 8 days, why don't you tell me what's going on in your life? How has this last week treated you? Any good intertubez drama? Real drama? Juicy stories I simply must read about?

Me? Well, my last 8 days have been...interesting. The first half of it was all work, and without going into too much detail, let me just say that every possible incarnation of Mercury in Retrograde that could happen did. That + 19 hour days made me a wee irritable and very very tired. However, despite the logistical nightmares, I had some really good times with the conference participants, and got a chance to deepen a friendship with 2 people who I think are simply amazing and awesome and friend-crush worthy!

After the work part of my week, the next 4 days were dedicated entirely to my vacationing pleasure, and except for a sunburn that left me debilitated for an entire day, (read: even the softest clothes felt like sandpaper on my poor, poor skin) I had a great time jet-setting about. This included a day-trip to gorgeous, sunny Culebra (where said sunburn was procured), some delicious meals, lots of sleeping in, and another day trip to the rainforest with a nice Dutch girl named Inge.

And now, what we've all been waiting for: ( pictures, pictures, pictures! )


*Now, with more tan lines!

OMG I CAN'T SLEEP, IT'S 3:15AM, AND I HAVE TO "WAKE UP" IN 30 MINUTES. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!

Naturally, I am surfing the web, window shopping and thinking about all the things I want to buy, which led me to come across this music festival in the Catskills that I reallllly want to go to, even though it is a heart-stopping $225 to get in.

But, the lineup. OH, THE LINEUP! I really REALLY want to see:

Mogwai (solidly places in my top 5 bands right now)
Low (a favorite for years)
Yo La Tengo (ditto above)

I would also be happy as a peach to see Thurston Moore, Dinosaur Jr., Tortoise, My Bloody Valentine, and Built to Spill.

But, I should be grateful, because it's already a summer full of music for me. I recently saw Goldfrapp, the B-52s and Cyndi Lauper (on the True Colors Tour), and Rilo Kiley. I was supposed to go see M.I.A., but had to sell my ticket because it's happening on Friday when I'll be in PR. But, still on the list is Ladytron with Zoe and Aimee Mann by myself (I'm tempted to buy tickets for both of her NYC shows, but I am not made of money).

However, the thought of seeing three bands in one weekend that have been on my Must See list for years would be uh-MAY-zing.

1. The Rilo Kiley show was awesome. Being the obnoxious fan that I am, I sang along to all the songs and danced a little bit with Bevin when they played our favorites. I used to be a little bit ashamed of my love of indie pop bands like Rilo Kiley, but I think I just need to be out and proud about it. ( During the show, we were so squished for space that Bevin and I had to cuddle on the railing )

Also, get this. Some girl spilled her drink on us and then asked if we could move over so she could see the band better. Ummmm.

2. Thanks again to everyone who recommended podcasts! Through downloading some of the NPR shows, I discovered two podcasts that I have maybe been waiting my whole life to discover. Those would be The Skeptic's Guide to the Universe and Astronomy Cast.

Not very many people know this about me, but I am endlessly fascinated with astronomy, astrophysics, quantum physics, astrobiology*, evolutionary biology, and other science-y things of that nature. I know, at the very least, theoryofgravity feels me on this one. The problem, however, is that my brain often has a hard time wrapping itself around some of the more counterintuitive theories, so podcasts like these that are meant to talk about science in a totally fun and accessible way are *exactly* what I've been looking for. The podcasts are like gentle massages for my brain. This morning, I nearly missed my subway stop because I was so engrossed.

3. I'm stressing big time about my impending trip! Not even about the work stuff, although that is a bit stressful as well, but more about the traveling alone part. When I went with Zoe, she was my navigator while I drove, but this time I will be navigating and driving. And, I am extremely directionally-challenged, so I'm trying not to stress about getting lost a lot. I might rent a GPS, but a lot of the places I want to go don't have addresses.

Of course, I can't complain too much, because hey, I'm going to Puerto Rico tomorrow!


*I even took and aced an astrobiology class in college, but damn if I can't remember more than one thing from that class, that one thing being the mathematical equation to determine the likelihood of life on other planets. Answer: there is. hotchpot or vvbrillsuchi, did either of you take that class with me?

I know I am like, 3 years late to the podcast party, but I know y'all will forgive me.

So, do tell: What are your favorite podcasts? Please comment with a description and link, if possible.

Also, Episode 2 of FemmeCast is out! This one is all about break-ups, and in it, I take a strong stance on the breakup haircut (teaser: prepare to be shocked!). From Bevin:

Episode 2: Break-ups. Host Bevin Branlandingham provides a glittery how-to guide to surviving a break-up in style. Rachael discusses sex with your ex, Brian uses comedy as a coping strategy, Kelli Dunham jokes about her ex, Tara's (me!) break-up haircut dos and don'ts, and we explore What Would Joan Collins Do?

FemmeCast: The Queer Fat Femme Podcast Guide to Life is an audio newsmagazine for Queer Fat Femmes, Fatshionistas of all sexualities and Queers of all genders. Hosted by Bevin Branlandingham with a cadre of regular contributors, we're discussing dating, fat fashion, social justice, friendships, sex, culture, cooking, music, travel and community. A whimsical This American Life meets a radical queer how-to novel, FemmeCast will keep listeners laughing, connected and inspired.

I have never spent as much money on food in my life since moving to New York.

I realize that people can get desensitized to things fairly quickly. Case in point, since selling my car in 2006, I have watched in horror and in gratefulness at skyrocketing gas prices, and I feel like, as a non-driver, I get a lot more shocked at the price tag of a full tank of gas than someone who's been adjusting to the prices in incremental stages for the last several years.

Some of my dearest friends and I have established a standing dinner date on Wednesdays, which has been extraordinary in terms of my social life and prioritizing the people who I love, but pretty terrible for my wallet. This past Wednesday, I spent $57 on dinner. For that, I got a (non-alcoholic) beverage, an appetizer (split with Zoe), an entree, and a dessert. Now, I left the table with a super full belly and leftovers for dinner tonight, but I mean come ON. The entree alone was $27, which I know is actually an obscene price for food, but I've also been desensitized to New York food prices enough that I would still put that amount in the category of mid-range dining prices. DC wasn't known so much for its gourmet fares, so I didn't eat out as much, and when I did, my standard for what was considered reasonable was a whole lot lower.

Now, Zoe pointed out that since neither of us has car-related costs anymore, we have more disposable income for food, but I don't even want to know how much I spend in an average month on eating in this freaking city. Really, it's obscene.

On a completely unrelated note, I am having a really hard time lately not judging people by the company they keep. I realize that it's phenomenally assholish of me to be suspicious of friends who have friends that I find despicable or shady, but...you know, I am trying to work on it. I know for myself, I have long-time friends who get grandfathered into my life, even when I've changed, my politics have changed, or I've outgrown the friendship in ways. I should keep telling myself that maybe that's the case with these folks.

I continue to be much more talented at dessert-making than I am at cooking, which is both ironic and frustrating because I prefer savory over sweet. But, I highly enjoy the simplicity and deliciousness of grilled foods, which is one of many reasons, humidity aside, that I am glittering with excitement about summer arriving.

Last night, I topped pineapple with a mixture of honey, a sweet balsamic glaze, and cinnamon, and pan-fried it in butter until both sides were caramelized. Holy crap, was that heaven on a plate! I also made a yummy salad dressing (for a salad, not the pineapple) with a mix of that same balsamic glaze, dijon mustard, honey, salt and pepper. I think it'll be perfect next time with a twist of lime, too. These days, I want my salad to consist only of either baby spinach or mixed greens, some sort of nut like pecan, walnut, or sunflower seeds, some sort of soft or pungent cheese like goat, blue, or gorgonzola, a dried fruit like raisins, cranberries or cherries, and some sort of balsamic-based dressing. I like adding oranges to it occasionally as well.

I'm also obsessed with eating grilled: chicken wings, asparagus, fresh fish, corn, and steak. I feel like I could be happy eating only these few things for the next several months.

Peach season cannot come fast enough so I that can make one of my favorite summer desserts, peach cobbler. Peach cobbler is also the reason that The Lawyer and I are dating, so in my opinion, one can never be overly enthusiastic about that particular dessert.

Finally, it is also in my opinion that no summer meal is complete without a tall glass of sweet tea. I like mine sweetened just a bit with honey, and occasionally flavored (like peach, mint, or raspberry). My mom gave me the perfect, super simple recipe for it, and I plan to drink a lot this summer.

So, what about you? What summer foods are getting you all hot and bothered right about now?

So, I got tattooed again yesterday!

This is the picture I was working from:



The Lawyer drove us down to the city yesterday for another sitting with Jason June, the awesome artist who did my other tattoo last week.

Overall, it took about an hour and a half, and I think it turned out really really beautifully!

( Wanna see? )

I love love love my new tattoos, and I enjoy the fact that I used my $600 government bribe to fund them.

Well, it started off peachy.

Armed with a 20% off coupon, Tania and I went a little crazy at H&M, and I left with what indubitably will be some of my favorite clothes this season. Then, we went to dinner, had some great conversation, and called it a night. After dinner, I stopped by Whole Foods for a cookie-shaped nightcap, and ran into missjanette, who I hadn't seen in over a year! We gabbed until the store was about to close, I grabbed my cookies (lemon coconut and chocolate chip, for the curious), and went home without incident.

So far, lovely.

Saturday morning, I met up with Tania again for what turned out to be one of the best brunches of my LIFE. Especially victorious was the fact that it was my first success at trying to eat there after three previously thwarted attempts.

(I had the eggs & cheese grits with sausage and a biscuit. Tania had the eggs Rothko, which had some of the best roasted tomatoes I have ever put in my mouth.)

After brunch, I headed up to The Lawyer's house and had a lovely post-brunch nap on the train.

Still all good.

When I got into The Lawyer's car at the train station, she informed me that her entire day thus far had been spent dealing with the installation of her new washer and dryer. What was supposed to have been a simple process ended up turning into a frustratingly complicated affair. So, she told me we needed to stop by Home Depot before going back to her place.

We drove to the Home Depot, and I stepped out of the car.

It wasn't so much like it happened in slow motion, as much as I remember each second in gory, vivid detail.

The car door shut. Instantly, I experienced some of the worst pain in my life and realized it was coming from my left index finger. The car door had shut, hard, on my finger. I pulled it out and it began squirting blood. The nail immediately bruised and looked pretty fucked up. I screamed and showed The Lawyer my finger. She, being really squeamish around blood, looked away and tried to find something to stop the bleeding. She handed me a cloth and found an alcohol wipe from her first aid kit. I started crying.

On the drive home, I debated whether or not we should go to the hospital. On the one hand, the pain was not subsiding at all and my finger looked bad. On the other hand, the idea of sitting in an ER waiting room for hours was really unappealing. Also, I had no idea if my insurance would cover an out of town hospital visit.

So I called the nurse's line on the back of my insurance card and told her what was going on. She made me laugh. "Now, just to make sure, is all of your finger still there?" I said yes. "Ok, I figured you wouldn't be calling me if that were the case, but I had to ask."

Both she and The Lawyer's doctor friend advised me to go to the ER in case of infection or if I needed a stitch.

So, we went to the ER. I quickly realized that it was probably good that I hurt my finger up where she lives, because I imagine that going to the ER in Brooklyn or Queens near where I live probably would have doubled or tripled the time we spent there. It ended up being 2 1/2 hours from start to finish at the hospital, which isn't bad considering the horror stories I've heard before.

Unfortunately, the people in the curtained off "room" next to us were anti-Semitic Christian enthusiasts who talked the ENTIRE time about the Jewish plot for world domination (The Lawyer is Jewish and so is my dad) and the necessity of "obeying your husband." We turned up the television and I said some choice words about the awesomeness of lesbian sex.

Anyway, after an x-ray, a tetanus shot, and a visit with a very nice ER doctor, they informed me that I had broken the tip of the bone in my finger and that I would be given pain meds and a referral to a hand surgeon. Greeeeeat.

I got a little finger splint that looks like mini 3-D Keith Haring person and some Tylenol-3.

The Lawyer took me out for burgers and ice cream, because clearly delicious junk food makes everything feel better! When we got back to the house, her neighbor left her a note worthy of the passive aggressive notes blog, and her new washer flooded.

Today, I'm getting my second arm tattoo because clearly, I haven't had enough pain in my left arm yet this weekend. Or tempted fate sufficiently.

Hey, wanna see my new tattoo?

( Read more... )

The Lawyer claims that I cried, but really, I just squeezed her hand and shut my eyes real tight because it hurt a lot. That smears mascara, too! The tattooing part only took about an hour and a half, and it hurt something awful, but not as bad as it could have been. Jason gave me a really nice break on the cost, and it ended up being a third of the price I had planned for. Um, score!

And now, of course, I'm already ready for the next one. I want another panel on the left arm, same placement, same size, and same border, but with an extreme close up of a bleeding heart flower, which I think would ties the two tattoos together nicely. I'm thinking about something like this with lots of detail and shading:



So yeah, I'm super sore from the tattoo and from having clenched my arm for an extended period of time, but really happy with my new body art!

The rest of the weekend was delightful as well. The Lawyer was my date to Bevin's Personhood Party on Saturday night, where I devoured chicken wings and mini quiches like it was my job. We also had some nice alone time together (*winkwink*) throughout the weekend, and grilled salmon on her new grill last night.

I also got to visit very briefly with theoryofgravity, who stayed over at my apartment on Saturday night, but because both of our schedules were so packed, I only got to see her for about 20 minutes at night and a few minutes in the morning!

Of course, the weekend felt way too short, and I'm really looking forward to having three days off this coming weekend.

How was yours?