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Here are some of my favorite stories from Plutarch's essay on talkativeness. i typed these up for a project, found them again, and realized they should be saved here for posterity.
Plutarch 503B
For when Aristotle himself was annoyed by a chatterer and bored with some silly stories, and the fellow kept repeating, “Isn’t it wonderful, Aristotle?” “There’s nothing wonderful about that,” said Aristotle, “but that anyone with feet endures you.” To another man of the same sort, who said after a long rigmarole, “Poor philosopher, I’ve wearied you with my talk.” “Heavens no!” said Aristotle, “I wasn’t listening.”
Greek 503B
1: “οὐ θαυμαστόν, Ἀριστότελες;” “οὐ τοῦτο,” φασί, “θαυμαστόν, ἀλλ’ εἴ τις πόδας ἔχων σὲ ὑπομένει.” 2: “κατηδολέσχηκά σου, φιλόσοφε.” “μὰ Δί, ” εἶπεν, “οὐ γὰρ προσεῖχον.”
Plutarch 508F (paraphrase except for part in quotation marks; my notes are bracketed)
Barbers are especially singled out for being talkative. Again, Plutarch presents a scene of gossip (idle chatter) at a barber’s shop—this time, concerning how unbreakable the despotism of Dionysius was. The barber remarks, “Fancy your saying that about Dionysius, when I have my razor at his throat every few days or so!” Dionysius crucified the barber after hearing of this. [This is a scene of gossip accompanied by an inappropriate joke taken the wrong way. But who told Dionysius about it? Another gossip, or a spy?]
Plutarch 511A
And we must be careful to offer to chatterers examples of this terseness, so that they may see how charming and how effective they are. For example, [recall] the Spartans to Philip: Dionysius in Corinth. And again, when Philip wrote to them, “If I invade Laconia, I shall turn you out.,” they wrote back, “If.”
Greek 511A
“ἂν ἐμβάλω εἰς τὴν Λακωωικήν, ἀναστάτους ὑμᾶς ποιήσω,” ἀντέγραψαν, “ἄικα. ”
Plutarch 511F (paraphrase & bracketed notes)
It is impossible to stop a chatterer by holding the reins, but his disease must be conquered by habit. Plutarch here gives suggestions about how to control one’s propensity for chatter: accustoming oneself to silence until all have refused a response, avoiding insolency and boldness in asking questions, etc. Answering in someone else’s place is likened to running up and kissing someone who wanted to be kissed by someone else. To take the answer out of another person’s mouth is to divert another person’s hearing, attract his attention and wrest it from another person. [The gossip at work attracts much attention to himself.]
Plutarch 513A-B
Furthermore, there are three kinds of answers to questions: the barely necessary, the polite, and the superfluous. For example, if someone asks, “Is Socrates at home?” one person may reply, as it were unwillingly and grudgingly, “Not at home.” And if he wishes to adopt the Laconic style, he may omit the “At home” and only utter the bare negative. So the Spartans, when Philip wrote to ask if they would receive him into their city, wrote a large “No” on the paper and sent it back. Another will answer more politely, “He is not at home, but at the bank,” and if he wants to give fuller measure may add, “waiting there for some guests.” But your over-officious and garrulous man, particularly if he happens to have read Antimachus of Colophon, will say, “He is not at home, but at the bank, waiting for some Ionian guests on whose behalf he has had a letter from Alcibiades who is near Miletus staying with Tissaphernes, the satrap of the Great King, who formerly used to help the Spartans, but now is attaching himself to the Athenians because of Alcibiades. For Alcibiades desires to be restored to his native country and therefore is causing Tissaphernes to change sides.” And he will run on, reciting at full stretch the whole eighth book of Thucydides, and deluge the questioner until, before he has finished, Miletus is at war again and Alcibiades exiled for the second time.
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