| Google is so yesterday |
[Dec. 11th, 2006|08:49 am] |
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Forget looking your name up on Google - it's so much more fun to search the wishlists on Amazon. The descriptions of themselves from people with the same name as you can be really funny, as of course can be the items they've chosen. For example, I am "Married to Paul III Mother to Hannah and Paul IV" and "Handweaver, has many cats, likes rural living." Yeah. |
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| The Tools Of The Trade |
[Nov. 19th, 2006|08:41 pm] |
We are currently selling our van.
It is quite amazing and disgusting at how much bullshit you have to take from people who want to push the price down. But let me begin at the beginning.
The beginning is at midnight Saturday. I received a call. Some dude wanted to have a look at the van. So I suggested 2pm the next day, but he wasn't happy with that. He wanted to come at 9 or 10 the next morning. So I agreed to meet him at 10 in our street.
Now because we locked ourselves out of the flat on early Saturday afternoon and spent the night at a friends place in a different quarter of Berlin, we had to get up even earlier to be outside our flat at 10 - We didn't we had a bed to spend the night in until after the dude called.
So at 10 am on Sunday morning we were waiting in the square outside our flat, when the phone rings. It was a Berlin landline number and I suspected it was the dude. And the dude it was. He said he was stuck in a traffic jam and needed another half hour. His phone must have a really long cable.
Not mentioning his lie we hung out another 50min waiting for him, but he failed to show up or call.
We decided to go for a coffee. As soon as we got our coffee, the phone rings. His cabbie can't find our address. I told him I wasn't home anymore and he could come back tomorrow. He was whinig a bit about it and after a while I agreed to 4pm. It gets dark around 4pm.
Half an hour later the phone rings again. Another guy wants to have a look at the van. He asks the same type of questions in the same style and has the same accent. Somehow I knew the instant that phone rang it was dude's brother. I was certain when I ended the call arranging to meet at 3pm. Five minutes after that the phone rang again. I anticipated it would be Dude's and Guy's cousin, to arrange a viewing at 2pm. I let the phone ring and turned it off after it stopped nagging.
So 3pm came and we met Guy, Dude, their mute cousin and a kid in the square. They gave the impression of a sunday family trip.
We walked over to the van, which was parked in a sidestreet a few minutes walk away. On the way Guy told me he wants the van for himself driving his kids around and I can be honest to him and tell him what problems there are with the van. So I told him the problems I knew of, including that there was an oil leak where engine and gearbox are connected.
He listed a number at possibilities what it could be, concluding it could be anything. When we came to the van they dramaticised every little thing there was, like a not working bulb, a cracked wing mirror, the oil leak and so on. I replied the van was 20 years old and I was selling it as is.
They looked at the engine, they tormented the cold engine, I tolerated it. In hindsight I tolerated it too much and I wouldn't do that again. Anyway, at some stage there came a lot of smoke from the exhaust, which surprised me quite a bit as the engine was in good shape. Later, after they had gone, I conluded why there was so much smoke coming from the exhaust: I remembered how one of them briefly bent down to the exhaust. He put something in the exhaust, that develops a lot of smoke when heated up. Hence the tormenting of the engine, to get the exhaust hot fast.
They took it for a testdrive despite the smoke. At this stage I knew they were hooked. Even though Dude was driving, metaphorically I was in the driver's seat. Dude was complaining about some rattling noises and that it shouldn't do the rattling. Later I remembered they hadn't shut the engine hatch and the rear hatch properly.
However, my reply to his complaints was: "Don't take it, then."
The test drive continued.
He asked me if the engine smoked when I was driving, which I answered with no.
He tried to haggle and tried to tell me it was appropriate to haggle and to cut him some slack. I replied If it made him happy I could put the price up to 1400 and he could haggle it down to 1200.
He repeated all the shortcomings of the van, every single one I replied with "Don't buy it, then."
When he was finished with his preach, I told him that was the van I was selling, I was selling it for 1200 as is and I didn't have another one without the shortcomings.
This shut him up for a while. A short while.
We finished the test drive, they had another look at the engine, looking for something else they could complain about. They asked what that noise in the engine was. I replied it was a diesel engine.
After a few minutes they took a few steps aside to confer.
I stopped the engine and came around the van. Guy was looking at me, and I looked back at him, smiling. He looked back at me gravly, shaking his head slowly. He was the negotiator. Dude and mute cousin were the mechanics, as it seemed to turn out.
I knew they really wanted the van.
Guy tried to play every card he had. He played the pity card. He played the friendship card. He played the overplayed shortcomingscard. He told me a new mirror costs 30. Funny that, I had to buy a new wing mirror for the other side two month earlier, it cost me 15. He told me if I went and fixed the shortcomings he might give me 1200. I told him if I fixed the shortcomings I would be asking 1300.
They finally started to realize I wouldn't go down with the price.
I enjoyed seeing their faces. Espacially mute cousin wasn't able to hide his dissappointment. His face I will remember for a looooong time.
They reluctantly left. Looking back every few steps.
I learned a lot from this experience. I learned their tools.
I called their bluff.
It feels good.
Earlier on Saturday I got an offer for 1000. From an honest person. I'll probably take it. |
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| Merry Olde England |
[Oct. 30th, 2006|10:44 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | al-fayed, buckingham palace, cambridge, cotswolds, diana, dodi, dragon hill, england, globe, harrods, ikea, immigration, london, roundabouts, seaside, skoda, statues, tate modern, tower bridge, uffington white horse | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | England | ] |
Otherwise known as "The Land of Roundabouts." As my Dad says, New Zealand has roundabouts too; the difference is that we also have stretches of road between them.
We're staying with the 'rentals for now while we figure out what to do next. Mum & Dad had only been in their apartment a few days when we turned up on the doorstep yet they took us in, which is testament to their great kindness, selflessness and charity. Or perhaps they just wanted to fill their empty cupboards with our Ikea kitchenware. At any rate, they haven't kicked us out yet.
Adam and I have been in to London just once so far (it's about an hour by train). The trip was mostly about visiting New Zealand Immigration, but we also took a walk around to see Shakespeare's Globe, the Tate Modern Gallery, Tower Bridge, Harrods and Buckingham Palace like good little tourists. Sadly I couldn't remember where to find the creepy Harrods statues of Dodi and Diana or Mr Al-Fayed, but we survived without them.
We arrived in England pretty much in time for Dad's half-term holiday. This means that we've done a few trips around with Mum & Dad, albeit sitting in the back of the very small Skoda they're borrowing at the moment. So far we've seen the English idea of the "seaside" (rather odd), Cambridge, some pretty villages in the Cotswolds, and the Uffington White Horse.
Us on White Horse Hill and Dragon Hill next door, paparazzi-style!
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| Stereotypes |
[Oct. 29th, 2006|06:12 pm] |
I just had a browse of the Daily Telgraph's weekly glossy magazine insert. I stumbled upon an article about apparently French Eva Green, the new Bond girl. Now, Green doesn't really sound like a typical french name to me. You now what? It isn't. It's swedish.
Hang on. What? Swedish? Really?
Really.
I didn't bother to read the article, the caption under the headline was enough. It went along the line how Eva Green isn't the stereotypical Bond girl. I have heard this about every Bond girl since I can read. Ergo: The stereotypical Bond girl is not stereotypical.
Find out more about Eva Green: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eva_Green |
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| Belgium |
[Oct. 22nd, 2006|12:33 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | belgium | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | England | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Fireworks and Sirens | ] |
So we're in England now.
We drove through Holland and Belgium to get the ferry in Calais and cross the Channel to Dover.
The stopover in Amsterdam was fantastic. It is the sanest place I have ever been to, people use common sense. Even though you think you have common sense yourself, they have more. All I can say is: go see for yourself.
But now to the main topic of this post: Belgium.
Let's start off with a quiz: Name three famous Belgians.
Think harder.
While you're thinking I will give you a little description of Belgium. Or rather the Belgian coast, for I have never been further inland. But I guess it's as bizarre as the coast. Actually, probably not.
As you might know the Belgian coast has been fortified by the Germans during WWII. You can still see a few old bunkers there and if you drive along the coast you even pass an open air museum. But the Germans weren't the only ones who built bunkers along the coast: The Belgians themselves fortified pretty much all of their coastline. Apart from the few dunes where you can see the pinnacle of above mentioned German architecture. The Belgians however built a different kind of bunkers. They built multi-storey apartment and hotel-complexes. All along the coastline. So the whole coast is like a very long giant resort.
And if you feel like you want to get to another part of that resort you can just get onto the tram. It runs from Knokke at the Dutch border in the east to De Panne at the French border in the west. But if you do this you might end up pretty disappointed: It all looks the same.
So have you ever heard of the Belgians google tells you about?
I thought not. |
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| The end of summer |
[Aug. 10th, 2006|12:56 pm] |
Well, how shite was Dead Man's Chest? They're lucky they had Johnny Depp or it would have been unbearable.
Summer seems to be over already. Oh well, at least we had a good one...
Speaking of which, I'm working on blogging the trip. Unfortunately we're having some trouble with iPhoto so pictures may be scarce for a while.
Patience, my lovelies! |
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| Made it! |
[Jul. 20th, 2006|02:30 pm] |
The van survived! The trip was fantastic, especially Norway. Midnight sun is awesome. We decided to skip the Baltic states and headed to Germany through Sweden.
Right now we're staying in Berlin. We don't have to be back in Hamburg for work until the 31st so we're going to hang out and enjoy the sun here for a bit. It's supposed to get up to 40C today. It is hot. We may die.
We'll bore you with lots of stories and photos soon enough, but for now, just to prove we made it, here's the Nordkapp monument!
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| Short & Sweet |
[Jun. 20th, 2006|04:26 pm] |
We're going to spend the next six weeks driving through Scandinavia with our hideous yet wicked VW van that hopefully will not break down. Midnight sun! Yes!
Other than that, life as a software tester doesn't make for very interesting reading. Well, I suppose there was the fire, but that story will have to wait until we get back... |
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| An actual update |
[Apr. 30th, 2006|06:42 pm] |
The good news first: We're no longer unemployed! We've both got work here in Hamburg doing software testing for Adam's old employer. It's only for about a month but that's no problem for us, and also they're happy for Adam to translate for me where necessary.
The sad news: The svelte forms we developed in Dublin due to the twin virtues of poverty and lack of transport have unfortunately evaporated since returning to Hamburg. In fact, they have not been seen for roughly six weeks, or about the time Adam's Mum came back and insisted on cooking for us every day.
Don't get me wrong, we're not ungrateful and both of us love Polish food. It's just that everything they put into it to make it taste fantastic also completely cocks up the calorie count. For example, take parsnip. Raw parsnip. Can't get much more healthy than that, can you? But suddenly, it's being served to you drowning in cream and rapidly going down for the third time. The portion sizes would feed the entirety of Napoleon's army, and it's not usually considered a meal unless there's meat involved.
Adam has tried addressing these issues with the results lying somewhere in between "brick" and "wall".
Adam: Really Mum, it's okay, you don't have to cook for us. You always cook far more than we can eat, anyway.
Adam's Mum: No no, I don't mind cooking for for you at all. And besides, I did start giving you half portions when you asked me to.
A: That's not half size, that's still enormous! Anyway, that's not the only thing. We also just can't digest that much meat.
M: I don't cook that much meat!
A: Well, you cook fish twice a week and every other night it's meat.
M: Rubbish. Anyway, we're not having meat tomorrow night.
A: Really? What are we having?
M: Chicken.
Sigh. |
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| Here's your free "sorry for lack of updates" post |
[Apr. 12th, 2006|01:14 am] |
Sorry for the lack of updates and such. Unfortunately it's not because we've been too busy, it's because we've been too boring.
Still in Hamburg. Still unemployed (my German isn't good enough for eBay Berlin). Going for a lot of walks, reading a lot of books, doing a lot of Sudoku, and watching a lot of television.
We're not really sure where we're going to go next. Germany isn't an option because it's hard for anyone to find work here, let alone someone who can pretty much only speak English. So, perhaps Scandinavia, Poland or England. Current plan is to buy a van, hit the road, and look for work on the way. We're checking vans out now.
Saw Ice Age 2 last night and laughed a lot. It was very good, but we probably didn't enjoy it as much as the two stoners who wafted past us to their seats just before it started.
Oh yeah, just to confirm that I didn't get to go sledding. The snow all melted before I could st- I mean, before we could buy a sled. |
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