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Writer's Block

Just Tell Me

If someone has a problem with something you’ve done, do you prefer they confront you directly? Why or why not? When you're the one who needs to tell someone about a problem, what's your method of doing so?

Answers (21)

  • I prefer to be told directly, but on the other hand, I find it very difficult to speak up when someone does something to hurt me. This is why I write. Verbal communication is HARD!
  • I prefer being confronted directly than hearing that person rant behind my back or reading posts that is undoubtedly pertaining to me. I don't like being lied to, or being back stabbed. if you have problems with me, go straight to me, not gather all of your friends and make me look like I'm so bad and then you're the good guy.
  • I do prefer that someone confronts me directly, because otherwise the issue won't get solved. I'm a pretty laid back person so chances are I won't freak out about someone bringing up an issue with me. I'm sort of hypocritical though because I prefer not to confront other people and just suffer in silence or complain to others. If I really have a problem with someone, I will tell them - unless it would cause problems in some other area (like if that person owes me money and cutting ties with them would mean not getting it back). But I tend to avoid people in situations like that.
  • Yes, I do. I would like it if they confronted me directly, politely, and privately. So I won't make them angry or sad again. When I need to tell someone about a problem, well I don't tell them. I used to ignore the problem at first and sometimes I still do that. And sometimes I do it at first as a joke and if they repeated it again I get very angry. May be that's why most of the time I ignore them when they do it again, so I won't get angry and make things worst.
  • I would prefer if the person came to me directly and told me what the problem is because personally when someone talks behind other person's back they basically are not brave enough to say what they have to say directly to the person they are talking about. Normally I would just sit down with the person and talk to them normally and solved the problem that way. When I'm the one who has a problem with someone with what they say or doing, i usually tell them off in a nice way or when I'm not in the mood I be harsh about what I'm telling them simply because I have told the person many times the same thing over and over again. When the person doesn't do it the first time around then I usually would leave the person to wither away in their own demise.
  • I would prefer they tell me directly. If they do not, they will just express it in less direct ways anyway, which can end up being more harmful. I have had this happen and it is unfortunate. Whenever possible, I try to directly bring up issues before they snowball into bigger things.
  • I prefer a direct approach because too much bs can get accumulated if everything is dusted underneath the rug, so to speak. But there's also a style and method that can be used so that neither party gets egg on their faces. My friends have always known me to be brutally honest, which isn't always a good trait. For me, honesty is the most sincerest form of love as you're not lying. But I understand the concept of white lies, and how sometimes lying is another way of showing love. Before, I'm just upfront about how I feel and think, if and when I have a problem with someone. But lately, maybe having to do with becoming more mature, I'm learning to paraphrase some of the 'heat' so that the honesty is more constructive rather than damaging. So in the end, if it's a crucial problem that's affecting everyone and everything, it's much better to be honest.
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