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It's me, not you

Have you ever broken off a relationship with a friend because it was unhealthy for your self-esteem? Were you proud of your decision or did you regret it?

Answers (601)

  • Мой первый развод тому подтверждение.
  • I have and I am glad for it. More than once. Self preservation is important. Sometimes I miss the way those people were in my head, in my heart. But in every case, I've seen or spoken to those people again later and it only intensified my conviction that I made the right choice.
  • I had an ex-boyfriend who was very verbally abusive towards me. If I didn't do as he 'commanded' he'd threaten me in ways that if I were to tell anyone he would make it sound as if I were the one to blame or I was making it up. A person can only take being called a "Lazy, good for nothing piece of shit" and a "a stupid god damn dumb fuck", etc... for so long before something has to give. I told him I was sick and tired of the comments, the put downs and the constant harassment that I was gone. That's when things go physical, he put a beating (repeated belts to abdomen) on me that afterwards I wasn't able to eat properly for 3 months. The thing that pisses off the most about the whole beating incident was after I reported him, he still came out smelling of roses. I wanted to survive and the only way was to get away from that situation. Never again do I ever want to relive anything like this for the rest of my life.

  • Yes, I have broken many friendships, romantic or otherwise. It wasn't so much because of self-esteem issues.Depending on the situation, various reasons include but is not limited to: taking advantage of the friendship, verbal and other abuse, constant lying, breach of trust, and ZERO effort made to make the relationship work.

    I think I'm a very tolerant person. I can overlook most of people's major dysfunctions because heaven knows I am not exactly an easy person to please. But  when people ever cross the line of disrespect, and on top of that won't even show remorse or ask for forgiveness, then you are done to me. I'm pretty strong minded and I follow through. When I finally decide to truly end it, it's done and over with and I rarely look back. And you can be sure, I will have no regrets either. And It's not me, actually it's really you.

  • No, but there are times when I felt that I should. I think that if I did I would feel bad because I'm just that kind of person - I feel guilty whenever I think about putting my needs before anyone else, and I hate that because it sometimes makes me feel weak and lets people walk all over me. I had this friend who was the opposite - do everything for yourself and fuck everyone else because taking time out for others makes you bored and has nothing to do with you. I have depression and had some bad times, but for a depressed person I'm pretty happy most of the time. There were some really awful days, and I just really needed someone around but she was never there because she 'wanted a break' from school / homework, or wanted to go to a medieval festival.

    I felt bad for asking on the festival weekend but she was the only one that knew about the self-harm and depression and it was pretty bad for me. But I was also kinda pissed because I knew that in her position I would skip the festival. There's always next year for a festival but a person's health and well-being and not committing suicide matters a fuck tonne more to me. She doesn't even talk to me any more - she lives pretty far away and is busy all week, but she still finds time to talk to the friends here that are able to drive her around in their cars and buy her tickets for expensive plays.

    There's a guy that I'm friends with who is a total bastard. Surprisingly, I'm fine with that. He treats everyone the same at least, and lets you know if he doesn't like you or something that you're doing. Sometimes it's hurtful but I get over it because it's just how he is to everyone. It's his birthday today and he was being very condescending. He's only seventeen days older than me! I wouldn't break off my friendship with him. While his words can be hurtful, it's not like he's specifically targetting me and I just put it to me being a bit sensitive sometimes, and not gonna cry over it.

    One person that I definitely would break the friendship off with is a girl who informed me that my parents are full of the devil. Yup, one of those crazies. I feel bad for her - she's clearly very insecure, and I think that because she told me that she didn't think that she'd get into TAFE, and it was only due to God that she got in. Do you know how piss easy TAFE is? I took a TAFE course once. I left starting my essay until two hours before it was due and I got an A, top mark in the class. Any moron could get in which makes only the entire world more than qualified. She also goes on about how God loves her, and well it's not like anyone really liked her in school. I did - I like everyone and I especially liked her because she kept doing all the talking for me! I'm not a talky person.

    But then I realised that she was pretty arrogant. She thinks that she knows me, but she's too busy talking about herself. She claims that I'm not depressed when I haven't told her much about it (she doesn't even know about the suicidal thoughts and self-harm), and assumes that all of my family are godless heathens with no Christian knowledge when we're Christian, former Christians, or have been educated in Christianity by family or school or even Sunday School. It pisses me off that she thinks she knows all about me when she hasn't even bothered asking. All she wanted was to evangelise or convert me, and she did it as soon as I mention the depression thing to her. She tried to take advantage of me when I was vulnerable and to make herself feel good. As soon as she realised that I wasn't showing any favourable (to her) signs, she stopped talking to me so much.

  • Yes I have. It was bringing me down. And it was easier to do my normal life once i broke it off (:
  • Actually, she broke it off with me. She felt that I was an "ungrateful bitch," who constantly took from her and used her. I didn't see it that way. She knew that I didn't have a job or any money to spend and she knew that I was okay with her not buying things for me all the time. She probably thought that I was judgmental too, since I did not approve of her then-boyfriend. I'm glad that the relationship ended, although it ended on bad terms. She tried to call me some months later to patch things up, but I didn't call her back. Before we could be friends again, the both of us will need some intensive psychotherapy. Since this is a public blog, I won't go into details as to why I say that, but I'll say that she was very angry and frustrated with many things in her life while I was on the brink of feeling suicidal. Those two feelings don't blend well. Not at all.
  • yes,it's much better to live with no regrets.the true measure of how your life is going is in how you function with other people especially with what you so called best friend.what's left unsaid or merely hinted at,reveals more than what's expressed.a writer's truth is always buried between the lines.of course we are all wounded, and not all our wounds are the same. spiritual empowerment is evidenced in our lives by our willingness to tell ourselves the truth, to listen to the truth when it's told to us, and to dispense truth as lovingly as possible, when we compelled to talk from the heart.we live in an atmosphere of shame.we are ashamed of everything that is real about us;ashamed of ourselves,of our past,of our accents,of our so called best of friend,just as we are ashamed of our naked skins.from the time we are small,we pick up the signals that will mark us for life-other peoples impression of whether or not were acceptable, whether or not were pleasing in their eyes. in fact little ones can often be more life-altering than big ones.little ones such as, oh GOD, i'm just to tired to argue about this tonight, or i don't have time for this so called best friend, so you choose to swallow your anger, walk away in silence, and drink a bottle of chambord.unconscious choice is how we end up living other peoples lives.it was impossible to ignore hot out of sync it was becoming i just want her to meet me halfway so we could get back on track. sometimes people change and forget to tell each other, because we thought that it was not just important.Ernest Hemingway left to all of us,"write the truest sentence you can, which is difficult enough, words being the final beast they are. there's a significant difference between writing what you can and writing what you know, just as there's a significant difference between doing what you can to make it through the day and doing what you know you've got to do to be able to wake up the next morning and not feel the way you did yesterday.it's hard to be what you seem to be, and seem to be what you really are.it's like the smarter you are, the more things can scare you...[but] to fear is ne thing. to let fear grab you around the tail and swing you around is another.were afraid of not living up to the expectations of others. there is a law of equity. we all get what we deserve. we build the ladder by which we rise. time and toil work wonders. practice is the prelude to the song of victory. the importance of courtesy. your manners generally indicate your character. they are an index to your tastes, feelings and tempers, and usually reveal the kind of company you have been accustomed to keep. thus, a beautiful character reflects a beautiful manner.
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