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Do you think society puts too much pressure on people to be in relationships and/or have children? Do you think this ostracizes people who would be perfectly content to remain single and/or child-free? Is this pressure worse around the holidays?

Answers (601)

  • People make their own stereotypes in society, especially by upholding them. If you don't want to get married, don't. If you don't want children, you shouldn't have them. There are far too many people in the world, especially in this country, who have kids just because. Forget about the parents being pressured. Think about the KIDS who have to put up with lousy parents: that's the key. This question itself shows how extremely, disgustingly selfish most/many parents are, regarding their parenting experience more about them and what they want to do than the children they are raising, the children that should be their priority and primary concern. Parenthood is not about the parents but about guiding people (albeit young people) to leave productive--and more important, happy--lives. If you don't want kids, just don't have them. Don't have them willingly and then complain about it. Secondly, if you don't like doing stuff for kids for the holidays, don't be a parent. You should be more concerned about their happiness than the pressure you're under. There are parents out there who have it a lot harder, who give up a lot of their own personal desires--and even personal needs--in order to make their kids happy. If you're not willing to do that, once again, DON'T HAVE KIDS. With the exception of a few cases, no one's forcing you.
  • не знаю как, но отмстила бы точно! я за справедливось!
  • нет...единожды солгав...

  • Yes. Esp in a sexist country where people without husbands/wives are automatically seen as gay. Trufax.

  • Hell Yes. Everyone seems to think that you need a family, or a partner, or a child to be happy. Especially over the Holidays. It's completely annoying, and bothers those people, like me, who just prefer a child free, single life. Not everyone wants a family. I sure as hell don't.

  • No not particularly but we all need someone to love.
  • This is an issue I've struggled with most of my life. There is WAY too much pressure for both. The first thing men are usually asked are "What do you do for a living?" The first thing a woman is asked is, "Are you married and do you have children?" I know it's a carryover from the days when men were the breadwinners and women stayed home but it gets old. Despite the fact that more and more women hold jobs and don't stay home anymore, it's still usually what women are asked first, simply because it's generally assumed that most women want to be in relationships and have children. It's been my perception that the unspoken belief is that with a man, it doesn't matter if he's in a relationship or has kids, he will be respected just because he breathes; whereas women are less respected if they are not in a relationship and/or don't have kids. I won't swear up and down that it's really true, but that has definitely been how I've felt when faced with that question. Then again, it could just be me. I can sometimes read too much into things, and sometimes it's confirmed I'm not imagining it when I'm then asked, 'Oh, are you planning to have any kids?' to which I eloquently answer, 'Oh, hell no!' But it almost feels like people think a woman is less than complete should she be single and/or childless. I've never wanted kids. I have always wanted to be married though I waited a very long time before I felt ready for that. I got married when I was 34 after a 5-year courtship. My husband and I have felt "married" since Day 1 of our relationship but just didn't make it legal until 2008. I really wish that when I talked to people I haven't seen in a while that instead of being asked, "Are you married or have kids?" I would rather be asked, 'So, what are you doing for a living?' I would so much rather talk about my work than my personal life. My personal life really isn't anyone's business, but I could be perfectly content to talk endlessly about work. And before I met my husband, I was mostly content to be single. I was not in a hurry to settle down. I was willing to wait patiently for Mr. or Ms. Right. It's probably the only thing I've ever been patient over. And it was worth the wait. I do think the world needs to grow up a bit though. Women aren't lacking anything if they choose to stay single and/or childless. And there are so many people, men and women alike, who have children who shouldn't have either through feeling pressured into it or through ignorance. If there is anything more miserable than living with a parent who shouldn't be one, I am quite certain I don't know what it is.

  • Let me tell you something... I think that relationships are great... for other people.  I think kids are awesome... as long as they belong to someone else.  I've been in one super serious relationship in my life, and it lasted for 5 years.  We disagreed on everything.  He wanted a big wedding, I am more private when it comes to those types of things and I wanted a very small wedding.  He wanted a baseball team for children and I never wanted any.

    I do believe there is a huge expectation for everyone to get married and have children and this really bothers me.  Especially since I am a young, well educated woman.  Men have the pressure of continuing the legacy of their last name.  (Something I have never understood nor have given a hoot about but for some reason it is important to men.) 

    I have goals in my life.  I have a career I want to follow to the fullest extent of my abilities.  Which means ALL THE WAY.  I am going to rule the world.  (I know, typical I am woman hear me roar bullshit but I can own this industry if I wanted to...)  When ever I express to people that I never want children people are shocked.  The usual response is, "Oh, you're young... you'll change your mind..."  I am 24.  I have lived a very full life.  I have seen a lot of bad shit in life.  I have 2 college degrees.  I would much rather work insane hours and go to a concert on my free time than to ever have my own child.  I do not have that desire.  And yet people I don't know are SO sure that I will change my mind.  It's silly.

    Quite frankly there are SO many beautiful children in the country that need a home... and if we are able to afford to have our own child that we should take a step back and wonder if maybe adoption would be a smarter move.  I'm not talking getting a child from Africa because that's what all the celebrities do.  (Even though celebrities actually have the money to go through the ridiculous process that is getting a child from the US!) 

    I've known since I was a kid that I never wanted kids.  I have always said that if money wasn't an issues I would take children in as foster kids, etc, and help them out.  I just don't need a kid that is mine.  Some people view their children as possessions and pawns and I don't respect that.

  • I would have answered "yes" and pressure worse before I came to California. Even if I returned home to England, nobody would recognize me. Thus my answer prelates the Question. I shall always love you Charlene.(Chet)

  • Yes, there are certain groups in society which put pressure on single/childless people (particularly women) to get boyfriends/married/pregnant, but individually, it mostly depends on what people you choose to listen to. I already have 3 boyfriends and another 2 regular lovers (yes, they do all know about each other - some of them are even dating each other!). I don't feel any lack of a husband in that mix. And why would I feel the need to have children? I'm perfectly happy without them, and I think I can bring better things into the world than another set of genes. Those who are desperate to see others married and with children are just needing the people around them to confirm that their world view is somehow more 'correct' than everyone else's. Stop pandering to their whims.
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