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Would you be upset if a long-term partner confessed that s/he'd committed a serious crime before you met? How do you think it would affect your relationship?

Answers (653)

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  • Yes definitely I'll be upset. It's really effect our relationship because crime never hidden, it's open anytime. If my partner share why he/she has done that, what the situation etc.. then I can take any decision... 

  • omg, yeah, I would want them to tell me before we got that 'serious yanno? Depending on the crime he commited, I think I would get rid of him :L (a)

  • Доминантному близкому прощается все преступления в прошлом, настоящем и будущем. На наши отношения это не оказало бы ни малейшего влияния.

  • No... Everybody has a past, and as long as he hadn't lied since we had been together, i can't see how it should affect the feelings developed since OUR first meeting.

  • Right now, it's hard to think of circumstances where I'd be okay with it, even if I could find ways to justify it the same way my partner could in their own mind. I'd be upset if it went against my morals and values, which I think most serious crimes would be. I know I should value their honesty more than anything, in being so comfortable with me that they could trust me enough to open up, but it would bother me greatly. Should I trust them back? I think a bit of an iceberg would develop between us because I didn't know the information beforehand, and how do I know that they're not going to turn against my family depending on the crime committed? How do I know that they're not sick in the head? I mean, maybe they're telling me because it's a reason to break up. Maybe they're telling me because they know somehow, someday, they're going to be caught for the crime and have to pay the consequences, whether it's jail time or the death penalty. Who knows, maybe they want to confess to me that they've been living a lie the whole time and want to come clean. Whatever the situation is, I think it'll put me in a bad, bad position. What am I supposed to do with this information? Should I end the relationship then and there because it can potentially put myself and my kids (if I have them) in danger? Tell the police because it's the right thing to do? Not tell the police because everything might be okay in the end? Not tell the police because I love them too much to let them go and see them get hurt? Maybe I shouldn't tell because I was threatened to be killed. What do I do? If they're mentally incapacitated, I know I should get them help, but how do I go about that? AH! I just think if they confessed THAT big of a secret to me, it's not going to lead to anything else but trouble.

  • Да. Очень расстроилась бы. И много бы об этом думала. Прошлое влияет на будущее. Прошлое было не само по себе.

  • Serious as in murder? I would certainly feel a little uncomfortable if the man or woman I were involved in suddenly confessed to homicide or burglery or some misdemeanor I don't know how I would be able to trust them ever again. Especially if that felony involved bodily harm to another human being (i.e, assault and battery, rape, homicide). The relationship would certainly be kaput no matter how in love I may be with them. The trust would be gone.

  • Maybe.

    It all depends on whether he'd truly changed after committing the crime or not. I am not qualified enough to judge him, because I was not in his shoes when he committed the crime, and thus I can never see things from his perspective. Because he's a long-term partner I cherish, I believe that everything that he did must have had a reason behind it.

    Unless he did it without any concrete reason, than I might as well regard him as a psycho or lunatic.

    If he'd confessed, and is truly sorry for whatever it is he had done in the past; I'd be proud of him. It's not easy for people to admit to have made some evil deeds in the past to a partner for fear of being shut out later just for telling. So confessing, in my opinion; is a type of courage in its own, and it also means that he believes that I should be informed, because being his partner puts me at an important place to him.

    Logically anyway, people won't tell you something unless it's important to you, or important to him in the sense that it's something about him that you must know. So yeah, it will affect the relationship; but in a good way - at least from how I try to put it.
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