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| 09:31pm 01/05/2004 |
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... so i'm failing some subjects. so i'm going to have to go to cram school. going to see if i can go to the one tatsube-chan goes to, cause at least i'll know someone there.
damn, there goes whatever free time i have. this really sucks. stupid english and history--shit, they're boring, how can i not fall asleep during tests? |
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| 09:34pm 27/04/2004 |
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wonder what are the things that make people happy. some people look unhappy all the time, but then just that one thing shows up, and they transform. some people are always happy, but then just that one thing is taken away, and they transform. some people are never happy and some people are never sad, and i kind of wonder what is that makes these people this way.
are they always happy because everything's perfect? friends, family, school, possessions, health, wealth, do they have it all? don't know. some people seem happy even though they might not have some of these things. some people aren't happy when they have all of them. and while some things make people happy, those same things make other people unhappy. does that make these things good or bad, or is it all relative? what causes pain and what causes joy and why does everyone receive these things so differently? does this mean that happiness is different for everyone too? what is happiness, then?
is happiness an emotion or a state of being? can you turn it off and on like a light? can you say, 'today i'm going to be happy' and be happy, no matter what happens to you?
so what's the big secret? when the future is just as scary as the present, what makes people smile and look to tomorrow while bearing today? and why is it that the things that can make you happy today, stop making you happy tomorrow?
do people like being happy? if they do, why don't they try to be happy more? why do they persist in suffering pain into the unknown tomorrow, if happiness is a nice thing? is it because they won't allow themselves to be happy? is it because they rely too much on something else to make them happy, and lack it? is it because they don't know what makes them happy? how can people not know what makes them happy? can someone really not understand 'happiness'...?
i think everyone wants to be happy, no matter what it means to them personally. they'll take so they can be happy, they'll give so they can be happy. they'll smile to be happy, they'll make others smile so they can be happy. they'll destroy to be happy, they'll destroy to make others happy so they themselves can happy.
... happiness is pretty selfish, and i don't think anyone really knows what it is. |
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| 12:58am 25/04/2004 |
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am never cleaning my room again. can't find my famicom rom cds. only did it so oushi wouldn't break anything while he's over.
man, i am not downloading those again. |
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| 10:22pm 23/04/2004 |
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whoa. i have a floor. |
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| 09:00pm 18/04/2004 |
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neesan was pretty impressed with my cooking. |
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| 12:55am 14/04/2004 |
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'nay, but thou art evil, and hast made me forget my love, and hast tempted me with temptations, and hast set my feet in the ways of sins.'
and his soul answered him, 'thou hast not forgotten that when thou didst send me forth into the world, thou gavest me no heart.'
this shit is really cool. |
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| 06:32pm 12/04/2004 |
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feeling so goddamn lighter than air that i want to throw myself into the sea. what the fuck?
yanagisawa-san and kaneda both beat me during practice and i don't even care.
goddammit, i'm going to kill him. this is so stupid. |
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| 02:04am 11/04/2004 |
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they say the last quarter of the moon represents death and rebirth. |
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| 01:25am 10/04/2004 |
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hahahah
now that i'm in the possession of the one ring of power, what evil things should i do first?
also: oushi, you are a putz. |
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| 01:33am 09/04/2004 |
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for the future let those who come to play with me have no hearts. |
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| 07:41pm 07/04/2004 |
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seems like it's a veritable party at my place. (So, you‘re all invited to come on down and drive Spoon insane!) now all i need is (booze?) aniki and some (mad lovin’) go-go dancers.
asfa;jl sdfs 08
you'll be sleeping io in the bathtub to night. |
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| 08:00pm 05/04/2004 |
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man. kaneda, you've got to be the unluckiest guy in the universe. hey, at least it's only a week? if you need a break, you can always drop by. |
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| 06:49pm 04/04/2004 |
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holy fuck skydiving was theabsolute most fucking awesomething ever |
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| 09:18pm 02/04/2004 |
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man, just woke up.
ended up missing class and that stupid test. well shit, that was counterproductive. note to self: apply mallet to head instead of visiting the dorm's "pharmacy." at least you'd wake up in time for the thing you actually wanted to get sleep for.
guess tatsube-chan came by while i was sleeping. there's notes from class on my desk, and some soup in a thermos. probably thought i was sick... man, i didn't even hear her come in.
dead to the world, but don't even felt like i slept any.
( private ) |
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| 11:16pm 01/04/2004 |
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kept zoning out while studying with tatsube-chan today.
man, i'm so gonna flunk that test if i don't get any rest. words keep dancing around. wonderland's fucking right.
... someone suggested i see the dorm's... uh, pharmacy. |
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| 03:14am 01/04/2004 |
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to insomnia:
fuck off.
yours,
fuji yuuta |
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| 01:01am 31/03/2004 |
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don't want to do this. at all. oushi's a horrible teacher. better off asking mizuki-san.
don't want to fucking do this. goddammit.
[OOC: Yuuta went and deleted this entry at 7am the following morning.] |
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| 01:23am 30/03/2004 |
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holyfuckijustrealizedidon'tknowhowtodanceformally |
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| 08:40pm 28/03/2004 |
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think i might as well open myself up for a rent-a-boyfriend business or something, at this rate. geezus. yeah. looking right at you. next time, i'm charging.
and i think i've been recruited in some sort of legolas and gimli love crusade while i was watching the movies with the girls... man, they're really weird at times. tatsube-chan thinks it's funny though. that's okay, the movies were good. tatsube-chan told me what they changed and what they didn't, so i'm kind of curious now. plus, watching her sing the ... uh.. bomba-whosit? guy's song from the books was really cute.
healing up okay. have a quick check-up tomorrow, just to 'make sure.'
... huh. think i might go home for a bit next weekend... |
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yuuta's journal