I can't be any happier that this week is over and that I am going to spend the whole weekend in Michigan with Sarah and Caitlin, some champagne and the dog. Before we get to michigan, we will have a stop in East Chicago, Indiana for the Hillary Clinton for President rally!

Nikki moved out, Katy (from work) moved in. Its been an easy transition. Its a little strange because Katy took my old room and I took Nikkis, so I inadvertently walk into Katys room all the time.

Work wasn't great this week-- no conventions in town, two double shifts and a lot of wasted time. Wednesday night was good, the rest was forgettable. On top of that, Sunday thru Tuesday I was awfully sick. Very sore throat, body ache, the feeling of looming death.

i feel better now.

However, the whole time I was sick and cranky, I had this little boy not understand why I didn't want him to come over all week after work. Questions, text messages, sad eyes. Jesus. All of this came to a head on Wednesday, when after my shift I went downstairs thru the lounge to my locker to get my helmet and get on my bike with katy and go home. Instead, I see him sitting at the end of the bar with his cousin, waiting for me. We didn't have any plans and I didn't know he'd be there. He's already 4 drinks and 2 shots into his night. I try to explain to him that I am leaving, that I had ridden my bike and had plans to get a quick bite and drink with Katy on our way home, and he wouldnt really listen. He just kept asking me to let him come over, and it was getting pretty pathetic. Finally I left- told him to go home and not drink anymore.
Katy and I ride home and talk about what just expired, and I came to the conclusion that I really need to scale back my 'relationship' with him-- i've told him that I am not his girlfriend, but he constantly refers to me as his girlfriend. But by the time we got home I was pretty over his pathetic show and just like, whatever, about it all.

Then, as Katy and I are pulling our bikes into the garage, I get a phone call. its Him and he's AT MY FRONT DOOR with his drunk cousin. I go around to the front of the house and he is so drunk he's fallen into a fence and can barely stand. Of course, I lose my shit and start yelling at hom to go home, and he's asking why, his cousin is yelling at me for being 'no good' and doing that to him, i'm screaming at his cousin... it all ends in a fistfight between the two guys and me threatening to call the cops.

Obviously, I broke up our little 'relationship'.

Yesterday he comes into work early to try to talk to me, which is illogical because I cant have a conversation about relationships when I am waiting on tables.


I dont want to be in a relationship with an alcoholic, and thats that. theres no breathing room or second chances. If he would have just let it be a casual thing, seeing each other once a week or in a hot lusty night after a couple cocktails after work, it would have been fine. i wouldnt have to scold him on drinking because it wouldnt be my problem.... but his constant pursuing made it my problem.

but not anymore.

Michigan, here I come.




by the way, i love whoopi goldberg and i watch 'the view' everyday.

Sarah + Cara + Mexico City = PLEASE SAVE MONEY FOR OUR RANSOM if we are not back by Wednesday.

Well
much has happened since i last updated in november. Xmas is over and New Years is on its way.

How did i spend my holiday? Xmas eve, the atheist twins (me and nik) set forth to Chinatown to have a Jewish Christmas Eve dinner. it was delicious. Xmas day, I went to a coworkers house for a delicious dinner of ham, turkey, sweet potatoes, wine, etc etc.

other things that have happened:

In October, I went to the Smashing Pumpkins show downstate with Caitlin, Sarah, and Melissa. I really loved it, despite the obnoxious crowd. Melissa left with a lot of 'constructive criticism' for billy corgan.


Also in october, the temperatures soared to the 90s, and caused some beautiful weather patterns:


November was fairly uneventful, other than hangouts with friends, lots of work, and a boring thanksgiving. If i dont write in a blog, than i have no memory of the past.

December was ok. Weather was horrible.
things were always icy.

I went to New York for a few days as Nikki was there working.



I saw my friends and went to a really cool Kerouac exhibit at the NYPL on 42nd and 5th.
I decided that a future tattoo will be this :

which is a pen-drawing by Kerouac of the buddha's enlightenment.

New York Pics
Smashing Pumpkins pics
other random bits

til next sign,
cara

up down up down up down

ive spent way too much money on trying to be distracted.


winter is coming. i can feel it in my bones.

My new house!

i've been meeting people and making money

chicago, i know i've told you this before, but i love you.

Aki got neutered today. he is very sad

since my last post i have:

I had a going away party the other night at the 8th Street Wine Celler.





It was nice. First, Bot and Herry picked up Nikki and I around 9:30 and we went to 'Ino in the West Village for cheap italian fare. Around 11:30 we went up 8 blocks to the 8th Street Wine Cellars to meet with everyone. Around 1 1/2 hours later, they came. They closed work early to make it on time. Miao, Midori, Carolyn, Gramy, Tek, Piers, Naomi, Brian, Vraja, Adrienne, Freddie, Joji, Xavier, Joe, Suhacha, Devon, even Fred and Haru came. We bought bottles until around 4am, Joe gave me flowers..
Then Devon, Suhacha, Nikki, Midori, Vraja and I went to K-Town for breakfast, and then followed Joji upstairs to a karaoke box where other people were at.
Long story short, Nikki and I shared a cab home at 7am.

More pictures HERE.

my ear. i feel like im underwater. underwater in a higher frequency.
i have to keep music on or else i can hear nothing else but a high pitch which i cannot get rid of.

nikki, have you started packing yet? we must request GPS on that truck. Does it have a CD player? Should I make a mix?

goodbye cruel NYC , take me back in your welcoming arms Chicago.
8 days from now we will be arriving


Cross country.

maybe I can get some sleep in Chicago.

i have some truths to tell before i go.

Saturday is my going-away party. Would you like to come?

I feel...: apathetic

I had a nice week, lets hope I can remember all of it.
Thursday night after work, I went with some coworkers to Ariyoshi where we drank 2 magnum-sized bottles of sake. Magnum is 1.8 liters, 2 Magnums is a little more than 3/4 of a gallon. It would suffice to say I had a mad headache the next morning.
But its been rainy here, so that night after splitting a cab with devon and tek to brooklyn, with the windows wide open going over the manhattan bridge, I awoke with a sore throat. Luckily I was off on friday, and Caitlin was in town, so we spent 4 hours walking around Park Slope, in the rain. I got a little sicker. That evening we went to my work to eat and have drinks. I have opened Caitlin's eyes to the deliciousness of cow tongue. We walked around afterwards with Indu and Brett thru SoHo to a bourbon bar in the unseasonable cold. The next day I awoke with a slightly more sore throat. Caitlin went back to Chicago, I went to work and came home without going anywhere.
Then Sunday night I was off, but I met up with Liz, Indu, Brett, and Herry at Madras South Indian restaurant on 2nd ave. We ate so much Dosai and Korma and eventually waddled ourselves to Herry's car (in the rain again), and drove over to 23rd and 7th ave to Gotham Comedy Club, where we went to see STEVE BYRNE do his live stand up comedy. It was hilarious and I met him after the show. SO hot. we went to Finerty's, an Irish pub near union sq afterwards. the place was completely dead, but we went because an old friend Kirsten, who trained last year at gyu with me, works there. She wasn't there tho, but we had a few rounds of drinks and even had them order us a nacho platter from a neighboring restaurant.
Around this time, I started having a bit of an ear ache, and it eventually got worse and worse. By the ride home at 1am, my head was between my knees and tears were coming from my eyes. I laid down in bed, broke a fever, and eventually the pain in my ear subsided when it Popped, and red ooze came out.

This happened before! I had the same Middle ear infection back in December of '04 when I was in Japan, and i have it all documented here :http://youngmodern.livejournal.com/2004/12/25/ with pictures and everything.

So i'm dealing with that, and I dont have insurance so i dont want to go to the doctor, so Herry brought me some expired tablets of Amoxicillin antibiotics from Indonesia to help me out.
Always something goes wrong with me.

i gave English lessons to my cab driver last night, well rather this morning. For some reason I told him I was an ESL teacher, which isnt remotely true (altho I do often feel like one at work). I explained to him the differences and nuances between "I will drink coffee." "I will HAVE a coffee. I drank coffee. I HAD coffee"

Last night was a little strange after work. Liz and I were walking downtown to take a cab to Union Sq area after work as usually, so i go to the train and she goes home, but then we decided to grab a few beers and bring them back to Joe who was still closing down the restaurant. We sat with him for about an hour just talking, and then Liz and I decided to go home. Lin and Joji came up at that minute and convinced us to go to a wine bar with them in the West Village, and we did, against better judgment.
The wine bar was great and the wine selection was fantastic. I drank a little too much wine, and I guess thats what led me to lying to my cab driver about my profession.
A lot of other stuff happened but I don't remember everything because a shot of SoCo and 3 glasses of wine dont really make for remembering. I do remember a beautiful view of Manhattan skyline from a Chinatown roof tho.

I wish all my nights in New York had been like that.

I feel...: melancholy

GEORGIA is nice. Really nice, actually. I have just been sitting around, going for drives over scenic routes, playing with my mom's dog Jackson and cat Yoshi. We barbecued today with my mom's neighbors, who are huge Georgia Bulldogs (college football) fans, say "y'all" and drink a lot. they made Prime Ribeye Steaks and baked potatoes, and I made steamed lime-and-sea-salt asparagus and teriyaki steamed zucchini/squash (in foil packets on the grill, just like at work). We ate, watched the HBO shows, and of course ate dessert (there has been a lot of dessert). Mom and I went shopping a bit today; she bought me a pair of sandals and a top from Nordstrom Rack and went to Dairy Queen. Tomorrow we will get pedicures. This is relaxing.

I even saw three hummingbirds today.

The weather has been perfect with the sun shining and a cool breeze, my mom's home is really very nice. The first thing i said was "wow, carpeting and a stocked fridge-- i feel like i'm HOME." Her dog is the cutest thing i've ever seen. I can't tell what the mix is, but its definitly like a chow and a basset hound or a corgi mixed together. I will post photos. He's about the size of Aki with shorter legs.

The bed is so comfortable, as its my old bed from high school. I feel like I'm laying in a giant marshmallow and I am sleeping better than i have for weeks.

This has been a relaxing weekend and it is definitly what i needed to distract me from all the anger/confusion/melodrama at my house and my new york world.

I still have no idea what i'm doing or where I'm going, but maybe i will have a refreshed attitude and view when I go back to it all.

So it is 9:24pm, and instead of driving home from the Atlanta international airport, I am sitting in a Chili's in the Charlotte-Douglas International Airport in fucking Charlotte, North Carolina. I have to sleep somewhere OUTSIDE of the sterile security area, So after I cried and screamed "Where the Fuck am I" in front of small jet-lagged children, I discovered there was free wi-fi and calmly headed to Chili's to drown my sorrows in a huuuuge margarita (or 3) and some Chicken Crispers.


I am SOOOOO putting that margarita glass in my purse.

I just want to be in a house, not sit here for the next NINE hours until a flight US Airways rebooked me on for tomorrow. If it comes to Air traffic or weather, US Airways does not insure its customers, so I don't get any amenities. no food ticket, no hotel, nothing.

My mom just called me, and she's going to drive the 3 1/2 hours from Atlanta to find me in Charlotte. Oh the fun begins. 4 hours I can kill easily. 9... i don't think so. I am actually really happy she is doing this for me. I feel extremely relieved. I couldn't possibly deal with sleeping on the floor next to a ticket counter tonight, especially since i didn't bring anything of the self-grooming type with me. Only 3 oz of liquid the government allows now on planes! fuck that! i'm not going to buy "travel size" shit! I can't get Aveda gentle face cleanser and toner and Kerastase hair care products in travel size at my local Target! bah!

God I feel so sick from the fried food I just emotionally destroyed. But I believe one more margarita and one desert is in order. MMM peanut butter pie. i don't care! Yes I spent $43 on dinner alone, but this is therapy.


everyone speaks in a southern accent here and already I am uncomfortable. I don't know why, but I've always felt uneasy about the south, and southerners in general. Maybe its because I am a "Yank" and Colonel Sanders and Clark Gable in "gone with the wind" are what defined "The South" to me, but today I actually saw men in white linen suits with suspenders and straw hats and i was surprised they weren't drinking mint juleps and lamenting over the outcome of the civil war.


But I'm kind of excited because our drive home will be thru SOUTH CAROLINA to get to georgia. I've never been in the south before! one time in atlanta doesn't really count, but wow.


one more before i go.

everyone in the restaurant is waiting for me to leave, and i will, but the sooner i leave the more i have to wait.


jesus maybe i should have eaten before the margaritas instead of after. im a little woozy.

"I want to hit ______ in the face with a car". - Griff.

Today, it is US Airways for me. I want to hit US Airways in the face with a car.

if that makes sense.

christ why am i still typing.

I feel...: angry

"Excuse me, but I am from so-and-so church, and I am inviting you to come in with me"
"Oh, no thank you, I'm not a Christian"
"Do you believe in God?"
"No, I don't sorry"
"Are you searching for the truth?"
"No, I was raised Catholic. I think I've had enough."

he was a cute young missionary tho.

http://perezhilton.com/?p=500