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[Tuesday
March 14th, 2006 at 8:28pm] |
so i was just talking to erik about this, and i figured i needed to say something finally.
i was extremely offended last time you talked to mom on the phone, because she was telling me that she told you guys that i was taking some time off before college. she told me that you were pretty much taking bets as to whether or not i'll actually go since i'm not going straight into it. it really wasn't my choice.
it hurts me because i always knew that my father always looked at me like a failure, but i didn't know that the rest of my family did as well.
i'll finally be out of school in late may (still wish dad didn't screw me over last year and let me graduate when i was supposed to). i was all set to start college in this coming october. i applied to where i wanted to go and everything went well. sent in my transcripts and whatnot, but then it came down to money. i got in the mail what i needed to fill out for financial aid, along with a list of the rest of the stuff i had to send in. i showed mom, and all she said was that joe told her not to sign anything.
pardon my language, but joe is an asshole. the man's completely skitzophrenic. one minute he'll be really nice .. but the next, he's got a problem with everything. unfortunately, he seems to prefer the latter. it seems pretty rare that he's in a good mood and mom and him are always fighting about something.
so back to the college thing. joe likes to compare people to everyone else, so he compares me as well. he compares me to his son, joey, who went to art school. the man went through it, and then did nothing with it. he's a plumber now and he's still paying off his school. because of the fact that this one person that he knows that went to art school didn't do anything with it, he assumes i won't either. one second he's supporting my art, the next he seems to be bashing the whole industry and thinks it won't get me anywhere (sounds kind of like my dad).
he doesn't want my mother signing anything for my schooling, especially if it's dealing with money. of course, even though i'm her daughter and not his, she has to follow everything that he says. he doesn't seem to realize that i need her help to get the financial aid. i need her help just to get it .. she won't be paying a thing. he thinks that he'll wind up paying for all my schooling, but he's not paying for anything. i'm not his daughter, he's not signing a damn thing. they won't be hitting my mom up for money. that's just a last resort in case they can't get anything from me.
so, long story short .. i missed all my deadlines for all the financial stuff because of the fact that my mother doesn't have a mind of her own and joe controls everything. i was supposed to start school in october, but because of all that .. i have to try again later. i'm going to have to wait until i'm out of here and i can try to sign up as an independent and hope that they don't shoot me down saying i don't make enough to be able to pay it, or something like that.
i am going to college whether it's when i was originally planning to or not. i'm not stupid, i know i need it. i need it for what i want to do, and it's what i love to do .. why not go to school for it? i'm so excited for it. i even started figuring out all the supplies i'm going to need (they sent me a list a long time ago) and how i'm going to buy them all a little at a time to make things easier.
so don't go making bets with my mom about whether i'm going to actually do something with my life or not. art is my life and i will be going to school for it no matter what. it's just going to take me some time to figure out how i'm going to go about it since i have absolutely no help from either parent.
love always,
collette
p.s. please don't try to approach mom about it, she'll probably just get mad at me and whatnot. she doesn't seem to realize that her husband has taken complete control over her life and she doesn't have a mind of her own .. but hey, he's got money and he just keeps buying new cars and whatnot so why not stay with him? don't tell her anything i said in this letter please.
thank you.
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[Saturday
March 11th, 2006 at 3:59pm] |
alright .. so i haven't really had the chance to do a picture update in a while.
so some of these pictures are somewhat old .. from my birthday, and then some are from last night.
( and here we go again .. )
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| shit's finally looking up for ussss!! |
[Thursday
March 9th, 2006 at 2:57pm] |
so ..
i get home.
turned on my cell phone while walking into the bathroom.
yay, i have a voicemail.
it's ronna .. from kohl's.
they offered me a job in the juniors/men's/misses department.
they want me in at four on sunday for a big meeting.
about effin' time that they called me.
i was starting to think i totally bombed at the interview because it's been a week and a half since she said she'd call me if she wanted me.
thank you god!
erik calls me as i'm walking out of the bathroom.
i tell him the good news.
he's happy, and tells me he's got news too.
he got a job today as well.
only his second day living at kev's and he managed to find a job.
lived here for almost five months with no response from anyone ..
he moves in with kev, two hours away ..
and gets hired on the spot.
he's starting on monday.
working at .. valveline or .. something.
all i know is he'll be doing oil changes and inspections.
i'm so fucking happy!!!
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| yay for me. |
[Wednesday
March 8th, 2006 at 6:55pm] |
i was bored last night so i played with some makeup.
i wound up winning a challenge for best makeup on ___ooh_la_la
sort of mad because they used the weird picture. =/
http://team-oohlala.livejournal.com/7955.html
ignore the hair. i had to keep it out of my face to work.
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| =( |
[Tuesday
March 7th, 2006 at 3:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crushed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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pearl jam - "even flow" |
] |
erik just left me. no, not like dumped me. he had to move out.
after almost five months here, he couldn't get a job. the school he starts going to in june which is in mooresville (it's two hours away .. where his best friend, kev, lives) is going to help him get a job. so .. he had to move in with kev.
i couldn't help but cry when he was leaving.
god only knows when i'll be able to see him. luckily we've both got cars but once he starts working, i start working, and with my school .. it's going to be hard to figure out when to see each other. not like he just lives one town over. =(
and of course, pearl jam just came on. my babyyy! =(((
♥
it's been ages since i've done one of these ..
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| yay for me! |
[Wednesday
March 1st, 2006 at 9:22am] |
so .. it's my birthday.
so .. fuck school.
i managed to fall asleep last night super early. we're talking like, ten-ish. i think. all i know is that it was at the very beginning of futurama.
erik apparently couldn't sleep.
i remember being waking up at .. only god knows what time. i think around 12:30-ish. all i can remember was erik saying happy birthday .. and then a little while him leaving the room .. then coming back, dancing around because he was asking if we had anymore toilet paper because there was nothing left in our bathroom. then, i went back to sleep after telling him .. idk .. something.
i remember waking up another time .. rubbing my eye and then thinking, "fuck! now i'm gonna have black eyeliner all over my face" .. and then i passed out again after rolling back over.
i woke up at .. 4:30am. erik was still awake .. just watching tv. started telling me about all these movies he was watching while i was asleep. so .. i stayed up with him.
mom and joe left around that same time to go up to ny. they're picking up his father and bringing him here to live at a "assisted living" around the corner.
so after they left, me and erik went downstairs. pranced around in the nude a bit. i really wanted ihop for breakfast because we finally found one andi've been missing that since we moved down here. he managed to convince me to want to go tomorrow instead. i made up a pot of coffee and he made us breakfast. eggs and yummy little breakfast sausages. ^_^
pranced around naked some more. he took a shower .. then i did and well .. here i am. wearing nothing but a towel.
it's so awesome having an entire house to ourselves. ^_^ we get to be naked for three days. awesome.
so yeh .. it's my birthday.
♥
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[Tuesday
February 28th, 2006 at 12:22am] |
join kids!
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[Sunday
February 26th, 2006 at 1:10am] |
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p.s. my birthday's in three days. ^_^
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| fucking awesome. |
[Tuesday
February 21st, 2006 at 6:00pm] |
i just got a phone call from kohl's.
i've got an interview tomorrow at 5:30.
looks like shit's finally starting to look up.
thank you god.
♥
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[Monday
February 20th, 2006 at 1:03pm] |
oh yeh, erik caught me a tadpole in the lake behind our place a few days ago.
i've been wanting another toad/frog since bud and er died.
it's quite cool.
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[Sunday
February 19th, 2006 at 1:10pm] |
i really wish i could look at livejournal stuff on my computer. i wish i knew what the fuck was wrong with it. =/
so yeh .. um .. oh yeh .. i got my license a week ago. good shit.
i haven't really been doing much as usual. hung out with terry (girl from school) friday night. we drove over to franklin street and hung out there for an hour and a half. we managed to walk off with free starbucks which is pretty kick ass. we then went over to wal-mart where she bought black hairdye and we stole a cap from a highlight kit .. and then we went back to my place and i put black streaks in her hair. looks pretty cool against her somewhat dark-ish brown hair. we hung out another hour or so, and then i drove her back home.
we hung out again last night. i hung out at her place. nice big house. got to try ddr for the first time ever. i kick ass .. as long as it's on beginner .. haha. i want that game so much now.
today we were supposed to have alot of snow. it looks beautiful outside.
i really miss snow.
um .. i think that's about it.
oh .. my birthday's one week from wednesday! ^_^ mom and joe are going to be up in ny (they're picking up his father and bringing him down here to stay in a nursing home around the corner) for my birthday. =( they're goingup for three days and just have to be gone for my birthday. now i'll definately be doing nothing for it. but yeh .. wish me happy birthday when the day comes and make me happy!! =P
♥
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| wow .. |
[Sunday
February 12th, 2006 at 2:30pm] |
.. it's been forever.
i think i just kind of gave up on eljay once my computer started being retarded and stopped letting me actually look at my journal, anyone else's journal, my friends page, and any communities i'm in. i can update with no problem, just can't see anything. =/
so .. what's new?
well, my birthday's in like, almost half a month (march 1st). nineteen. damn. feel free to send me lots of cards, presents and money:
collette dellaperuto
600 s. churton st., apt. #112
hillsborough, nc 27278
awesome.
seems i'm finally having some sort of success with making friends over here. sure took long enough. this kid scott who i sit with in art finally started to actually give me a chance. stopped making fun of me about every little thing, and actually started talking to me. we started talking alot and then his girlfriend, ashley, started talking to me as well. she hung out with me and erik last night. it was pretty fun. i had a good time.
i was then awakened at 1:30pm today by joe yelling up the stairs that i have company. i've never been a fan of spontaneous visits by friends. they always come at the worst times. erik's friend would always do that while we were having naked naps at his house and it'd piss me off. but yeh .. i ran downstairs. it was the girl that lives next door, sara. never really talked to her much .. just finally started talking to her on myspace, but just a little bit. she asked if i wanted to go to a show tonight. it's her boyfriend, leighton's, band. i said alright. erik's coming as well. i don't want to go to something that big by myself. yeh, i have sara, but i hardly know her.
so .. yeh. nothing else exciting really going on. that's about it.
perhaps i'll be back later.
-collette
♥
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[Thursday
January 26th, 2006 at 10:10pm] |
i have .. issues.
i think i may start crying.
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| so excited! |
[Wednesday
January 25th, 2006 at 10:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 excited |
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music |
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madonna - "take a bow" |
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i just picked up the brand-new stephen king novel, Cell.
i'm so excited!
it just came out yesterday.
i'm too obsessed.
i just found out on his website that they made an illustrated version of 'salem's lot. that's one of my all time favorite stephen king novels. i must get that!
along with the very few books of his that i don't have already (i've got such a huge collection).
yay! gotta start reading this thing tonight before bed.
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| =( |
[Wednesday
January 25th, 2006 at 7:24pm] |
EvilSoul69421: hey sweet cheeks!!
Auto response from XxseizexthedayxX: erik left. =( (he's going back up to ny with kev for two weeks on friday)
i'm sad.
cleaning our room/bathroom.
EvilSoul69421: just wanted to say hi an i love you!!
EvilSoul69421: :-*
erik started on his way to mooresville (2 hour trip) to stay at kev's house until friday. they're leaving for ny to celebrate his birthday (it's the 30th) and whatnot. he'll be gone for almost two weeks.
man, i am really going to miss this kid.
already do.
=(
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[Sunday
January 22nd, 2006 at 7:47pm] |
erik and i were talking about joe (my stepdad) throwing out a brand new bottle of tequila ..
erik: it's alchohol abuse.
*sigh* guess you had to be there.
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| rach .. |
[Sunday
January 15th, 2006 at 7:34pm] |
i was just rocking out to le tigre and it reminded me of you.
thanks for calling me this morning. it really made my day.
i miss you soooo much.
i love you!! =P
♥
god, such a lesbian.
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[Friday
January 13th, 2006 at 5:52pm] |
i hate how i don't trust you as much.
not really you, mainly just that i don't trust everyone else.
i can forgive, but i will never forget.
it's the only reason i have such a problem with you going.
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