Wednesday, June 28th, 2006
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10:13 pm
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* I feel soooo much better since starting low carb again. No more afternoon naps w/ Clara which means I don't REALLY need my Mother's Helper now
*Forget what I said above because today Clara decided se wasn't going to nap anymore. Instead she decided to stay up alllllllllll day and be super crabby and drive me insane.
*I keep feeling nauseous and I'm reallyreallyreally hoping it somehow has something to do with the low carb thing even though that's never happened before because if I'm pregnant again I'm going to cut someone's man parts off
The end.
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(2 Spankings | I'm a bad girl!)
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Thursday, June 22nd, 2006
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7:32 pm
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starting. diet. today. no, seriously...I am.
I have got to get this baby weight off! ok shut up..so it was there before baby..WHATEVER! When I was leaving my friend's house the other day, CARRYING the baby, her son asked me if I was leaving to go to the hospital to have my baby. When I calmly (that doesn't look right), through clenched teeth explained to him that my baby was right there in my arms he said, "Ohh but it looks like you're about to have a baby...twins!!" Not only did I wanna cry, I also wanted to push him down in the dirt. Ok..maybe not really push him down yes, really I also threw that stupid flowy shirt away..
so yeah...diet.
current mood:  hungry
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(7 Spankings | I'm a bad girl!)
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Monday, June 19th, 2006
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8:35 pm
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So Friday was the last day of school. Christian had his 5th grade graduation *sniffle* I was so sad. He's soooo not old enough to be going to middle school and I'm soooo not old enough to have a middle schooler!! So anyway, he wanted to go to the skate shop to buy a new deck Friday night and there's a small record (cd?) shop next door. They had a flier up for a show that night w/ a few bands playing so Chris and Christian went. YES this made me sad too because he's supposed to wanna stay home and play with his friends or soemthing, not go to concerts!! At about midnight they came strolling in and Christian was totally glowing and I knew he had a blast. Then they started telling me how a guy in the band pulled him on stage and started carrying him around on his shoulders while he ran around the stage. Then later he pulled him back up and helped him get started on his first crowd surfing adventure. WHAT?! I didn't even get to see. I'm seriously disappointed. So anyway, they were taping the whole thing so we're trying to get a copy. Then the bands all gave him guitar picks after he told them he plays guitar. So yeah, they have a new fan for life. He's happy. None of his friends believe him though..poor thing.
Saturday Christian had a graduation party/sleepover to go to and Laynna had a birthday/sleepover so we had the afternoon free (wth the exception of taking care of Clara) but then Chris just watched the stupid World Cup games until it was time to go to a going away party for an old friend. It's funny how everyone from way back can all get together for a going away party, but none of us could get it together and find time during the last 6 years. So yeah. we had tons of fun. I had only met the husband of my friend who is moving once. Let me tell ya, you REALLY get to know people when they're drinking. After seeing his friend (about 6'7) put on his girlfriend's tiny skirt w/ his bikini underwear hanging out, I'm soooo glad that the older two kids had other parties to go to! So yeah, alcohol, music, talking about the old days, much fun..
It's always kind of sad though to see people who haven't changed at all. How can you be 6 years older than the last time I saw you and be exactly the same?! Living in your mom's house, eating their food, staying up til sunrise and then sleeping til 11pm? And you think it's cool?! Idiot. I do not care about your *Juggalo crew* I do not care how it got started or care about how you become a member *kick* You have 2 children who you *think* are 2 and 4. How do you not know?!! BTW..you've been wearing the same clothes since you were 14. I think it's time to go shopping, dumbass.
There were people there that I hadn't ever met. People who brought their kids and still got drunk and had no idea what their kids were doing. Why would you bring them? There wasn't anything for them to do other than run around like crackheads, throwing their 10th CapriSun down on the floor,chasing some tiny mop looking dog while trying to stick an half eaten popsicle into an electrical outlet. Some people really shouldn't breed shut up I'm not talking about me this time
Yesterday we ordered Chinese, but I didn't feel like eating so I'm eating mine now but since Clara's decided she's only going to stay asleep if I'm right next to her it's taken me about 2 hours to eat half my Orange Chicken and now it's cold but I'm gonna eat it anyway!
Oh yeah I just have to say that I hate when people drop without any notice. Actually, I hate it when it's people I don't like and then I don't have time to turn the lights off and pretend I'm not home. Yeah...that. Christian has a friend whose mother doesn't realize that she's THE most boring person in the world and she uses any excuse to stop by and she's the kind of person that NEVER knows when to leave. We're always left with awkward silence as I stand near the door desperately trying to get her to leave but she doesn't get the hint and I just wanna push her out and lock the door. Seriously. She came by a while ago after they called this afternoon to see if the boys could get together and I said that we were too busy today. So what does she do? She drives over to give us an invitation to his birthday party next weekend. Then acts like she shuld get an award because it's going to be a sleepover and she's soooooo brave. WHATEVER no one else will come because your son has no other friends! That's not exactly brave.
My final thought as if anyone cares: cold orange chicken doesn't taste too bad
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(2 Spankings | I'm a bad girl!)
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Sunday, June 11th, 2006
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10:08 pm
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Sunday, May 21st, 2006
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12:04 am
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So last week I paid to get my "possibly" biological dad's phone # and address from intellius.com. His phone number is unlisted though. I also got his father's (my "maybe" grandfather's) phone number.
Have I called? No. Written a letter? No. Why? I'm terrified.
Maybe writing this here will make me actually do something with the info I have. Maybe.
current mood:  anxious
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(1 Spanking | I'm a bad girl!)
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Saturday, May 20th, 2006
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7:25 pm
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Tuesday, May 16th, 2006
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11:26 pm
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I had a pretty mellow day. I mostly sat on the couch with Clara today. She feels so bad and looks horrible...hopefully she'll feel better soon.
Oh yeah, so this afternoon I fed her and she fell asleep, when I got up and went to lay her down I heard someone knock on the front door so I hurried and layed her down, ran to the door as fast as I could, and flung the door open because I was mad that whoever it was would wake her up. It was my new neighbor. He's an old man..like 70ish. So he's acting really weird and holds some envelopes out toward me and mumbles something about the mailman and scurries off really fast.
The stupid mailman delivered my mail to the wrong addy again...oh yeah..MY RIGHT BOOB WAS STILL HANGING OUT!!! Poor old man...I hope he's ok...
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(4 Spankings | I'm a bad girl!)
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1:12 am
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The baby is sick. Poor thing...
So tonight I'm goig to sit up and try to figure out what's so great about myspace.com. I just don't understand the point of it. I let Christian have his own little myspace thing..and he's totally addicted. I decided to go on his name and look up people I went to school with and all it did was depress me because I saw all these people I used to know that look like they have super fab lives and are always having fun and then I just wanna poke them in the eye cry because instead I'm sitting home watching Desperate Housewives SHUT UP! and doing other things and feeling like half the time my life is totally boring even though I really do love it. I'm just rambling because I'm super tired and know i have to stay awake so anyway...now I forgot what I was gonna say.
Oh yeah..so I found my best old friend from Florida on myspace. We were inseperable from 10 years old til my parents divorced and I moved across the country to the middle of nowhere in Az. Even then we talked almost every day on the phone and sent letters all the time (you know..back in the OLD days when people didn't email) So anyway...I saw her twice after I moved. The last time was after I had Christian and I think we just realized our lives were totally different. I was 17 with a baby and she was doing the whole teen thing. We haven't talked since that visit. So anyway..I find her myspace thing and her life looks like so much fun. I'm jealous a little. But then I remember that when we were together everyone always thought we had the best lives and were so happy with our big bangs, Guns N Roses tshirts, and stone washed jeans when we were really both sad, confused kids whose parents were totally screwed up..we just didn't tell anyone but each other about it. So I wonder if she really is living an exciting life or if it just looks like that to me because I'm not a part of it anymore...like all the other people thought about us back in the day.
So that little search led me to deciding to look up my "maybe" biological father again. This time I found him and I know 100% that it's him because he's back in the tiny town I was born in, his birthdate matches up perfectly, and his father is also back living in the town. I have his address and now I'm too scared to do anything with it. I could call his dad and try to get his #..but what if he doesn't want to talk to me? What do I say? "Hi..umm . I know you've thought I was your daughter for the past 28 years..but SURPRISE! I might not be! How has life been?" Yeah so I'll probably just stare at the address and info I paid $7.95 for and not do anything with it..
Maybe I'll write a letter. Maybe. (why did that make me get the Blue's Clue's letter song in my head?)
current mood:  sleepy
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(5 Spankings | I'm a bad girl!)
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Saturday, May 13th, 2006
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8:25 pm
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Oh yeah. On Wednesday Laynna had a softball game. This woman walked by with a men's tshirt on, stretchy workout kinda pants on and HEELS. WHY DO I NEVER HAVE THE CAMERA WHEN I NEED IT?!
She has a game tomorrow. I'm SO taking the camera..
..and YES I'm posting over and over because they're still watching the midget show and I have nothing else to do..
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(I'm a bad girl!)
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8:01 pm
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Oh yeah I forgot. My aunt is a hoochie. Yep..I said it...
She messaged me online and tells me she's sending a pic of her and John. I have an insane uncle named John so I said ok. I get the pic....it's not an uncle. I asked who he was. He's her boyfriend. Big deal? She's MARRIED. Her husband has no clue. She started telling me how he treats her better than her husband does, how he was so upset last time she left his house that he had drank drunk consumed a 6 pack of beer in less than an hour. Aww true white trash love. Sounds great. He also has 2 kids that won't speak to him..but it's ONLY because he was in the military..not because he's probably a loser. He already calls her daughters "his daughters" yet he hasn't met them. I HATE THAT. They have fathers and they don't need him. They're grown women. She's moving down to San Miguel with him (he lives 4 hours away) in 2 months. Well..she's moving into his house trailer in 2 months. She hasn't even known him for 2 months yet.
MELISSA, if you're reading this.....I THINK YOU'RE A WHORE..
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(1 Spanking | I'm a bad girl!)
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7:47 pm
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Ok so I feel so bad for babies! WHY DO OLD SMELLY people think babies NEED them to come 2 inches from their faces and yell "LOOK A BABY!!! HI BABY! SMILE FOR ME BABY!"
We went to breakfast this morning and while we were waiting to be seated a trail of old people leaving surrounded Clara and I'm sure they did some permanent damage and she'll be having baby nightmares forever. Poor thing...
She's sleeping in her baby jail right now. I hate putting her in there but now that she rolls so much I just know she'll roll off our bed onto the floor and end up with brain damage and it'll be all my fault and yeah...that'll suck.
My kids are in the kitchen making me a Mother's Day dessert. YES I know it's not til tomorrow..but they're impatient and just want an excuse to have sugar. I'm scared..
Oh yeah...one of them also decided to Tivo the entire series of that midget little people show. My children hate me.
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(2 Spankings | I'm a bad girl!)
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Friday, May 5th, 2006
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11:15 pm - srjkhnsdfjbnejgnd
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All I wanted to do tonight was chat online with some new scumbag perverts so they wouldn't actually be talking to the young girls they WANT to talk to, but could I? Noooooo! Why? Because every stupid computer we have in this house is a mac. Can you chat in yahoo rooms on a mac? Nope. Can you chat on MSN on a mac? Nope. Macs suck because they're keeping me from finding new pedophiles to talk to..
that doesn't sound right..but whatever...
current mood:  frustrated
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(2 Spankings | I'm a bad girl!)
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Thursday, April 27th, 2006
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10:58 pm - ...
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Tuesday, March 15th, 2005
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5:32 pm
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Tuesday, December 2nd, 2003
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1:44 pm
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Last night at dinner my 8 year old started singing the Oscar Mayer song, only he said Oscar Minor Weiner instead...and he looked up and said.."That's probably Michael Jackson's favorite kind!" .......it isn't often that I'm shocked by anything my kids say or do..but yeah, that one got me..
He's gonna be just like me..always saying the wrong thing and not realizing it until it's too late...HE'S DOOOOOMED!!
I really shouldn't have breeded bred..
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(I'm a bad girl!)
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9:20 am
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I hate my iBook...seriously HATE IT AND WANNA SMASH IT. It doesn't work the way things are supposed to work for ME!! Nothing works the same as it does on Windows and shut up I know it's NOT Windows but whatever..things should still work easily for me but nooooooooooooooo..can't make Mandi happy..
*smash*
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(I'm a bad girl!)
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Saturday, November 29th, 2003
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11:08 pm
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Oh yeah...
I got a picture of my brother with his new girlfriend and they look alike. So alike that I thought he had put 2 pics of himself together...but uhh..no, I guess he just really thinks he's hot enough to wanna sleep with his clone. EWWWW
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(I'm a bad girl!)
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Wednesday, November 12th, 2003
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8:23 am
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Sooooo...I had a dream last night that I was in Live Journal Land and it's too hard to explain so I thought I'd come back here and read journals..and I think if I wanna catch up on them I'll be here til next month reading them...but since I read from most recent and go backwards I'm gonna be really confused. Not like that's a new thing though..
yeah. SHUT UP
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(7 Spankings | I'm a bad girl!)
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Tuesday, October 14th, 2003
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6:30 pm
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Wednesday, July 23rd, 2003
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12:44 pm
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There is always at least one person who feels the need to pretend they are an expert on everything you talk about, while they actually make themselves sound like they just fell off the short bus and then you try not to jump up and poke their eyes out with a spork to sit back, smile, and nod in agreement while they talk about how professional cheerleaders only cheer until they can finish college and get their *PhD in modeling*..
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(1 Spanking | I'm a bad girl!)
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