burning · the · letters

It's 40 degrees cooler today than it was yesterday, thanks to last night's intense thunderstorm. At one point, my apartment started shaking from the thunder, which was an insane feeling. And believe me, I know that the earthquake that happened in Seattle in 2001 could've been a zillion times worse than it was, but it was pretty intense, and it still really affected me and anytime I feel rumbling or anything like that I feel terribly nervous.

Anyway, the cooler weather is wonderful. It helps my mood immensely.

Yesterday, I watched this:

And I thought it was pretty great. I would've loved more live performance footage from the '60s and '70s, but that wasn't really the point of the documentary; instead, it was an analysis of this time period in his career. Really fascinating and interesting stuff.

The thing is, I love Leonard Cohen so much and feel such an intense connection to him & his work that I started crying literally every time they showed him performing. Every time. Crying intensely. Lots of tears & lips wobbling and all that. Jebus. But they're mostly happy tears, mostly overwhelmed-by-the-passion-and-honesty-and-beauty-of-it-all tears. And that is cathartic and lovely, really.

Also, I rewatched Crimes and Misdemeanors and oh my god, I love that movie. It's by far my favorite Woody Allen movie, which is saying something, as I love him & have seen almost all of his work. Also, there are a variety of other reasons that I adore the movie. And it has the perfect, perfect, perfect balance of tragedy and comedy. So complex & thought-provoking & beautiful. & Judah Rosenthal is one of my favorite characters in any film I've ever seen.
& Sadly, I relate way too much to Anjelica Huston's character. That flashback scene where she & Martin are running on the beach is so beautiful. I cried through half of it, like I always do. Again, mostly in a cathartic way, and mostly because I love the movie so much, but also because I relate to the deep sadness of it all, the confusion of the characters, the guilt, the intensity.

"You will notice that what we are aiming at when we fall in love is a very strange paradox. The paradox consists of the fact that, when we fall in love, we are seeking to re-find all or some of the people to whom we were attached as children. On the other hand, we ask our beloved to correct all of the wrongs that these early parents or siblings inflicted upon us. So that love contains in it the contradiction: The attempt to return to the past and the attempt to undo the past"

Yes.

I should go take advantage of the cooler weather and non-stifling apartment and get some work done. More soon. Thanks so much for reading. xo

A few photos:

From a couple of weeks ago. I like the braids:

The downtown library:

I love the sky in this one. It's a building that's just north of downtown:

Macy's building, downtown. I used to work there & it's a lovely old building:

I like to write lyrics on my chalkboard (Moody Blues ones here):

Beautiful new doll (vintage, from Hong Kong) and lovely buttons from Shop 66:

& Animal Crossing owns my soul lately (damn, I love that game) & it also cracks me up to the point where I'll be playing it alone in bed, and then see something like one of these, and start giggling and rolling around because it amuses me so much:

(I think I'll go knit a couch now! Aaurgh! Heh. I think I'll knit a table, too.)

(Ha, no comment needed, I don't think.)

Oh, Sally, you awesome squirrel, you.

Anyway, thankfully it has cooled off a bit, which has enabled me to hang out in the office room for a while and get some things done. I was supposed to be prepping for the new semester today, but all I ended up doing was laying on a sheet on the couch with a fan blowing directly on my face and watching dvds and guzzling water. If it was 104 degrees outside, I shudder to think what temperature it was in this attic apartment of doom :/

& I've been sending out a lot of mail and updating mirandamail pretty frequently, so check it out if you have a chance & add it if you're so inclined. Thanks!

Thanks for reading! xo

1) I am currently addicted to vegetarian baked beans with lots of spicy sauce on them. Yummy yummy. Also, addicted to lemonade flavored popsicles, dried pineapple, fresh blueberries, lemon yogurt, and diet 7-Up. Mike has started buying some of these things for me when he goes to get his groceries & that is incredibly sweet of him. It makes me so happy.

2) I finally have my own copy of Watchmen! I'm very much looking forward to re-reading it. & I know that everyone has already mentioned it, but the trailer for the film was totally exciting. Eeee!

3) Also, I got this vegan cupcake book & I'm excited to make some. I haven't done any baking in forever & I miss it. I really can't use my shitty tiny oven of doom (it burns everything, in addition to many other problems), so I'll bake at Mikey's.

4) We watched the last episode of the first season of The Invaders tonight & I'm surprised at how much I'll miss it (there is a second season, but it's not coming out for a while). Mike was excited about it, so we started watching it (he remembers watching it years ago), and I liked it, but not a lot, but did grow to like it quite a lot.
& Mike was telling me about how Roy Thinnes (who plays David Vincent) was considered quite the heartthrob & I was like, "dude, I don't see it" and he was like "Oh, right- just picture him thirty years older than he is here" and I was like "oh, yeah. I can see that, then." Heh. I love how he knows that I love old men. It's cute.
& Peter Graves (from M:I) was in one episode and that made me happy & it was also so slashy between him and David. Heh! Mike even agreed with me there. I was like "My SLASHDAR is totally going off, Mike!" heh!

5) Ha, this is random: whenever Mike & I watch Larry King, we have to mock his clothes and his cluelessness, of course, and I love how Larry King says really insanely random non-sequitur type things, and this somehow lead me to saying, everytime we watch him, in my best Larry King voice, "Does anyone know where that hot broad Angie Dickinson is? Larry King wants a piece of that! Har har har!" heh! I did it again tonight & Mike was laughing & like "where the hell did that come from?" and I'm not quite sure, but it definitely cracks us both up.

6) I really love the new Free Kitten CD. It's great.

& Time for photos!:

Oh, Treesons! You are delightful:

Little Miss Trillian:

Oh, Fenchurch!:

I love my little Cinnamon girl so much:

Lovely Estella, downtown, when I took her along on a little adventure last week:

My little Romana:

& Me & my Cinnamon girl:

& Shatner's book is pure love. Aw!:

& Hi there!:

More photos soon! Thanks much! xo

Last week- green heart random silliness:

Brown Baby Treeson & some of Mikey's CDs:

& I'm addicted to Animal Crossing again (for the DS) & I love random shit like this. Since when does soup have caffeine? Heh:

& On Friday, I got to hang out with travelbytrain & mrzachyboy! Yay! (Peter Pan, I tried to call but couldn't find you :/ ) We had sushi & went book shopping. I took a bunch of photos of either awesome or totally insane books. I love this one:

& This is the most insanely overcrowded cover ever, but, hi, it's Shatner, so I love it anyway :)

& Loveliness!:

(& How overwhelmingly adorable is that drawing of Tom? Aw!)

& More books over at my Flickr.

& Here we are:

Cuteness!

& Mikeypants & I, on Friday night:

Cozy!

& One of his awesome vintage records. I was madly in love with The Banana Splits when I was little, so I especially dig this one:

& I also dig lime popsicles:

& Estella:

(Although I'm not sure how much she digs me. Heh.)

& This is me, this evening:

& My lovely new RDF totebag:

More soon! xo

Pretty lake pictures, taken while sitting on the edge of the dock:

Lovely:

(Can you spot the Baby Treeson?) :)

& Speaking of darling Baby Treeson:

& Mikey:

& Me:

More soon! xo

I got this adorable pendant from onesmallflicker's etsy shop. Go buy stuff! :)

Aw, apple :)

Some dolly pics-

Susie Sad Eyes & Blue Baby Treeson:

Pretty Licca doll:

& Hee, I love this, because it shows just how much Fenchurch loves her Chanel No. 5:

Oh, yes. Best perfume ever!

& Tonight, after work:

(Wearing contacts for once. & Dude, I need to cut my bangs. They grow way too quickly.)

& Being silly in my bathroom tonight:

& Totally yummy tofu noodle bowl that I stopped & got on the way home from work tonight. I definitely should just eat at home, because I do have food here, but I'm spoiled by Mikey cooking for me & he's out of town, so I thought I'd treat myself to this:

Tasty!!

Tomorrow, I'm headed to North Idaho (yeah, I work there, but I'm headed further north) to a lake where Mikey's family has rented a cabin all this week and through Saturday night. The lake is Cocolalla, which I can't stop saying, because it cracks me up. Plus, it contains "Lalla," which makes my Lalla Ward loving self happy. Hee. Anyway, I'm a little freaked out because I have never driven up there before. I've been up there many times, but mostly as a kid when we would go to the theme park that's near there, or to a lake or something. I've just never driven myself up there. Oh well. I don't mind driving adventures. And I can call them if I get lost.

I am totally going to slather myself in the highest SPF sunscreen I can find because I hate hate hate sunburns. I don't tan- I burn. And I rather like my vampiric pallor, honestly. Heh. I enjoy being super pale.

Anyway, yeah. We're going to go out in a boat, which is pretty cool. I'm not scared of water at all, which is strange, considering the myriad of things I am terrified of. I think it's because I find the water soothing, and because I am a strong swimmer, if I have to be. Mikey & I get to take the boat out by ourselves, which will be great.

I've managed to shower & get a bunch of laundry done since I've been home. I need to pack some stuff, too, but I'm being lazy & procrastinating by watching videos on YouTube, including Shatner's "Rocket Man" performance from the '70s (seriously, it's genius and really touching. Silly and over-the-top and campy, but genius, I swear. I'm in love with the man, though, so I'm not the most objective audience, obviously. And I adore the early use of video technology. It's pretty hilarious.) I've probably seen it fifty times, but I JUST KEEP WATCHING IT. I don't know why. Heh. Oh well. I've embedded it ( here )

if you're interested. Seriously, go watch it. It's pretty amazing.

Thanks for reading!
More soon! xo

Yay!

& Tonight's theme? Blythes & Books! :)

Estella & some of my poetry books, specifically Anne Sexton:

Romana & some of my literary criticism books:

& Cinnamon & Wodehouse!!

Yay! I adore books, obviously, & love my girls to bits, so I thought the combination was perfect.

More soon. Thanks! xo

Early morning light filtered through my bedroom curtains:

& Oh, man, this hurts my head times a million. It's on this Bush-isms calendar we have in the copy room at work:

Seriously, trying to figure that out hurt my head much more than translating French ever has. I am not a fan of butchering of the English language. At least it's good for a joke in some cases, though. Seriously, this takes the cake.

Lovely wildflowers, taken near my apartment:

Recently, I decided that I simply HAD to write on my arms with Sharpies. I wrote two different song lyrics that I adore. This one is from The Verlaines's "Joed Out":

& This is from Pink Floyd's "On the Turning Away":

At work, one night last week:

& On my classroom's chalkboard:

(It means "be nice" in French & is also the title of a lovely Chantal Goya song.)

& Awesome miss piratesarah recently sent her zine to me in this envelope:

I LOVE IT! Mrs. Shatner for the win! :) Thanks, dear.

& Me, after a shower last week. Wet pigtails & squishy face OF DOOM!:

& Wonderful, beautiful, majestic mrzachyboy (can you tell that I love that boy? :) ) & I went to sushi last week & it was perfect. I've missed him so much. Here we are, afterwards:

Cuteness!

& The adorable Mochi treat that I got for dessert. I love Mochi ice cream so much, but this was the kind that is filled with sweet bean paste. It was a little weird at first (gooey and stretchy pink coating filled with what looked like red beans) but tasty! An adventure! And pink :)

& A sign in a downtown bookstore, taken that night. It's for Indiebound.org:

Love it!

& Me & miss Fenchurch!

Thanks so much for looking & for commenting :) More soon! xo

My favorite red shoes, taken last night in the bathroom at work. I had this sailor girl outfit going on last night, which made me happy, as it's the first time in forever that I've bothered wearing anything other than my "uniform" of striped skirt/black sweater/black flats to work.

& Goddammit, stupid Hoopfest is this weekend, which means that downtown and the surrounding areas are literally closed off for three days. DUDE. And it gets bigger every year, which means more closed off areas each year. Dammit. I was driving north to Mike's last night after work & kept thinking to myself "why the fuck are there so many people wandering the streets? And why are there so many cars from California, Oregon, Wyoming, etc.?" And then was like "OH, GODDAMN HOOPFEST" Ack. The bridge I usually take to Mike's is closed for construction (argh) & I think that the other way north will be closed for stupid basketball. Damn. Seriously. Stupid sports events.

more soon. xo

I've been listening to various French pop all afternoon & have tried to sing like Jane Birkin, Brigitte Bardot, and Anna Karina, but pretty much failed at all attempts. I think I can pull of a little Birkin, though. Heh. And I probably shouldn't be singing the breathy, dirty French lyrics with the windows open and the music up really loud, but whatever. My neighborhood is loud. I doubt that anyone cares that I'm singing dirty French lyrics really loudly.

- Here is me, last night. I really dig my hair right now:

& Ha, yes, I constantly have red lipstick on, even right before I'm about to step into the shower. I feel naked without it.

& This is terribly emo, from last night, when I was feeling horrible:

& This is from a few nights ago, taken outside on my porch:

more soon! xo

xxoo

!

My favorite quote:

"'Lemurs,' William Shatner is explaining through mouthfuls of sushi, 'are primitive animals of many varities.'"

Ha, so random! And perfectly Shatner-y.

Also: take my advice and do not put pink lemonade powder into a glass full of Diet Coke. Because, um, it will kind of explode. All over your counter. And your floor. Yeah. And then your latenight soup snack will get cold as you clean it up using five kitchen towels and you'll also miss the first part of the Star Trek episode that's on t.v. & that you really want to watch. So, yeah, keep that powdered drink mix out of the diet sodas :)

xo

A couple of chalkboard shots. The first was taken after my first night class of the summer was over & the second is of something I wrote on the board on Thursday night. It's a quote from part of our book & I like it a lot:

& Some polaroids of the apartment:

& I took this today:

Lately, in my good moments, I have fluttery, soft, pretty Hope inside. And in the bad moments, I forget about both the existence of hope and the possibility that it could even ever exist. I'm used to ups & downs, though, obviously. I just want to be able to see that hope, that possibility, and to think to myself, "wow, that may actually be reachable." I need that. & I want to believe that I deserve good things like that.

My pms is driving me nuts. I keep having to remind myself that that's what it is and that I'm not losing my mind. Sigh.

Anyway, should attempt sleep now. More soon.

xo