I just got back from Anthrocon and I had a great time. I had some things come up recently that had affected my involvement in the furry fandom and had resulted in my considering leaving the fandom. Due to the effort of my friends at AC, I'm alright now. I also saw a theme in this Anthrocon... flexibility.

I flew out Thursday afternoon to AC and arrived in a severe thunderstorm. Also, as soon as the plane took off I realized I had left a few items at home (socks for the fursuit, lyrics for the worship service, and reference sheets for my fursona). As a result, the baggage delivery was delayed as there was a lot of lighting and so the airport staff were not permitted onto the tarmac to unload the planes. Kodywolf met me at the airport and we waited there for my bags and the weather to clear. When we got to his car we quickly found out that we had too much stuff and not enough car. The next 30 minutes were spent creatively packing the car and I ended up riding to the hotel with a giant inflatable ball on my lap. We arrived at the David L. Lawrence Convention Center 10 minutes before registration ended and we just barely made it in time to register that day. We checked into our room and then met up with :iconEaglesF: and his family and hung around the zoo for a bit.

The next day we had our first devotional time as a group and also had breakfast at the Steel City Diner. I skipped out on the opening ceremonies to go to wait in line for the dealer's den. While waiting in line for the dealer's den I ran across the reason for the above mentioned distress concerning the fandom and that through me for a loop as I wasn't expecting to see them there. My goal for the Dealer's Den was a commission from Tani da Real (who was in the Artist's Alley) and I succeeded in acquiring that commission as well as a print called "Misery Loves Company". Also, I purchased a commission from Kyote of my and :iconarracraidira: in steampunk garb. Also, :iconHeavy-Horse: arrived that morning compliments of Walker Baptist Church, who paid his way there to do a magic show for those at AC. He did his magic show in the Zoo and advertised the FFC worship service and the Jungle Kits program (kids/parents program).

Also, that day we met a new furr on his first trip to a furry convention named Brian. He wandered around with myself and some others from the FFC. Crusadercat was also there as well.

That day I also got to do something I had never done before, which was fursuit at a furry convention. I mascot for my church as a giant parrot and they allowed me to bring the suit to Anthrocon. Kunkmeister was my spotter and let me say did an amazing job doing so. After that we went back up to the room and then met up with :iconHeavy-Horse: to talk some as I was still upset from the earlier encounter I previously mentioned. Talking with him helped a good bit and then I went up to the room to set up for the room party that the FFC had with the Unicorn and Gryphon pub, the other Christian furry group at AC.

The FFC hosted the party in our room and I made an assumption that created a bit of a problem... I didn't clarify who was bringing the food as I thought someone else was providing it. It turns out that we were supposed to bring it *looks embarrassed* but I was given some great leadership advice by :iconHeavy-Horse: which was "roll with the punches". :iconhollyann: saved the day by bring making poutine, which is fries covered in gravy and cheese curds, and we all enjoyed that while playing Wii bowling, which rocked. We had a good showing for the room party, with a number of people from the FFC and the U&G as well as a few new faces to our group: Raiderwolf, Crusadercat, Brian, and others :) .

Saturday was the best day by far as we had the fursuit parade and the Jungle Kit's program. :iconEaglesF: and I met for breakfast and then headed back to the FFC room for group devotionals. Afterwards, I went down to the Dealer's Den with Crusadercat and Brian, before running back to the room to put on the bird suit to run down to the meet Raiderwolf and :iconEaglesF: and then we went to the ballroom where the fursuiters were lining up for the fursuit parade. It was awesome to be in the fursuit parade, particulary as the fursuit parade was a world record for the most costumed characters in one place (453 WOOT!). Afterwards, :iconEaglesF: and his wife went to set up the Lawrence Room for the Jungle Kit's program. I went through the Dealer's Den and the Convention Hall to find kids to come to the program. We had 4 kids that came and they made tails, masks, and watched "Peter and the Wolf". After the kid's program we all grabbed dinner at a Chinese Restuarant (note to AC attenders: DO NOT EAT AT THE CHINESE RESTUARANT NEAR THE STEEL CITY DINER) and then afterwards followed Kunkmeister around as he fursuited through the convention center.

Afterwards, I spent some time praying for the worship service that would be the next day, for those who would attend, and for those who would be speaking. Also, I went to meet up with Kodywolf and another furr and we talked about fursuit making, how to order a fursuit, what should go into a suit, etc.

Sunday we had the FFC organized worship service, which went pretty well. We had about 10 in attendance and, though we had some glitches (no cable to connect the laptop to the projector, no lyric sheets, better signage leading to the room) it went well. God was there in our midst and I definitely think that He spoke to us there. Afterwards, we went down to the Dealer's Den to do some last minute shopping and to pick up some commissions that had been ordered. I picked up a conbadge for :iconarracraidira:. That night :iconEaglesF: and I fursuited together one more time and then I met up with a furr from Hampton Roads that I know named Amraswolf. We grabbed some fast food and then went to hang out with some of his friends and we chatted about academia, crazy students, acapella groups, and such. I enjoyed it.

Monday morning I returned to the Grand Strand and also found out that there is another furr in the area as I rode back on the plane with him. We chatted some, exchanged contact info, and also I got to do a sketch for him while waiting for the plane.

Here are the photos: http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d53/whaletrainer2002/Anthrocon%202008/

location: Home mood: happy music: It's a Jungle Out There tags: anthrocon

It's hard to reach the point where you realize you can't do anything to change a friend, that they are beyond you, and that really all along this is only something God can do. It's hard to do, but it's something I need to learn and I wish I didn't have to. I found this song on youTube and I think it fits what my prayer is right now:

mood: drained tags: prayer

Happy Easter to all! I just wanted to share a story with you this Easter. As many know, my grandmother passed away over Christmas. She had been battling stomach cancer and went home on Dec. 23, 2007 at 10:30pm. However, God was present even in the midst of all the suffering and pain. My grandmother kept singing "O Lord my God..." the first line in "How Great Thou Art" and sang that song with us again and again in the last days of her life.

Another of her favorite songs was "Amazing Grace" and so we'd sing it to her also. The day that she died we all were in her room talking to her and singing. We started to sing Amazing Grace to her. It had been dark the entire day, overcast, solemn, and depressing. In the last chorus there are the lines "When we've been there 10,000 years, bright shining as the son. There are no less days to sing God's praise then when we first begun." The sun came out at the start of that verse, shining down into her room and on all of us, peaking at the words "Bright shining as the sun" and continued to the end at which point the clouds came back and all returned to dark. I believe that was God reminding us "I am here" that He was in the midst of all that was going on and reminding us that my grandmother wasn't losing out in dying, but rather that she was going home, that she was going to a better place.

Today, Easter Sunday is the reason why she could go home. Before Christ's resurrection death had its victory, death reigned. In Christ, it was defeated so that when our time to die comes, we needn't fear it, but embrace it knowing Who we are going to. All we need to do is believe in the One who died and rose so that we could live again. So here's the song, enjoy it, and remember the Amazing Grace that is shown to us in Christ.

mood: contemplative tags: easter

So today is my 26th birthday. This past year was, I believe, one of the most spiritually challenging years of life. In it I saw times of great spiritual growth, times of spiritual struggles I have never experienced before, and also includes the day that I finally came to know the One who I thought I had known for many years prior. I heard a song that is kind of my song for this year. It's called "My New Dawn" by an artist I've not heard of before, but I think it covers my feelings today. This is a new dawn for me, with many exciting things ahead and I can't wait to see what those things are that God has in store for me.

location: home mood: cheerful music: something tags: birthday, new start

Happy Valentine's Day to all ! May you show your love to all the loved ones in your life, even if you don't have a significant other. There are many in your life who you love so show it to them today :)

Also, this was done by Azurewolf56 for my mate so just wanted to share it with you:

mood: cheerful

I just wanted to let people know that mistresssusan and I are now a couple. Spread the happy news and let everyone rejoice... especially me :):):)

mood: happy music: This is the Night

Still Called Today Lyrics
Steven Curtis Chapman

There a hole the size of a cruel word In a wounded heart somewhere that's learning to hide the pain
There's a thorn stuck in the conscience of Someone who spoke a word in anger
And they can't wash away the stain, sorry's such a hard word to say

CHORUS

But while it's still called today, won't somebody make it right
Before the day slips into night and the moments waste away
While it is still called today, we've got to say the words
That are longing to be heard 'cause tomorrow may be too late
Go on and say what you need to say while it is still called today

There's a girl who's waiting day after day To hear her daddy say "I love you,"
now the days have turned to years There's a wall that silence has turned to stone
Between a man and woman, she's holding back the tears
And he's holding on to his fears

(Chorus)

BRIDGE
'Cause there's a time when the sun goes down And the flowers are laid on the grave
Will the tears that fall to the ground Be the tears of regret for the words someone didn't say


Just some thoughts to those out there...

I just lost my grandfather and the one thing that he asked most for, the thing I always found myself to do, was to write to him. I would call, I'd talk, but never took the time to send him the old fashioned letter he wanted so much. To those out there with loved ones... MAKE THE TIME FOR THE THINGS THAT SHOULD BE IMPORTANT. Take the time to write that letter, to do that drawing, to let them know that you love them as you never know when they will leave this world and you will be left with regrets. I'm not directing this at anyone in particular, just figured that someone out there might need to hear it.

How was everyone's Christmas? Christmas for me was a bit of a roller coaster with the passing of my grandmother, with a little bit of sadness at the lack of a normal Christmas day for me as there was a lack of the regular activity, opening of gifts, christmas dinner, etc. As a result, this folf was a bit down. However, I was reminded of something that I had honestly forgotten, something that should have been at the forefront of my mind the whole time. My mother recruited me to sing at the nursing home for the residents and their families at the the Christmas banquet and so I reluctantly did so. In the beginning I sang but was not all to happy or joyous, but as things went on I slowly felt myself being changed. The bleah and grrrness I was experiencing was slowly replaced by joy and peace. I realized as I was singing that the whole day isn't about the gifts, isn't about the dinners, it's about giving to others, about bringing joy to others lives, about remembering Christ's birth and the ultimate gift that it was. It was very much like the end of the Charlie Brown Christmas where he realizes the true meaning of Christmas. When we were done I was no longer miserable, whiny, and such but instead had a heart that was finally back in the right place and set to what Christmas should be about :) . I was thinking it might be good if people wanted to share their own holiday stories here, what things happened to you, your thoughts, etc. *hugs* Merry Christmas to all (yes I know it's the day after but Merry Christmas anyways)

mood: cheerful music: Silent Night tags: the true meaning of christmas

Another update....

It's at the end of things, or will be soon. My family and I are heading up to visit her for what will likely be the last time the day after Christmas. I thought that I had come to terms with things, that I was ok and ready but in reality I'm not...

She helped raise me, she rocked me to sleep when I couldn't get there myself, she took care of me when I had the chicken pox, taught me that my brother wasn't the pest I thought he was, bought me my dorm room stuff when my parents couldn't afford it, and gave when she really couldn't but did anyways. I don't know how I'm going to cope with this amidst the knowledge that I have less than 4 months to complete my thesis. As I'm worn out as it is, have no ambition or desire to finish, merely to push on as I have come this far and might as well finish. The only way I know to cope is to just push my feelings aside and cope later after I'm done with school as I don't know if I can do both my thesis and my mourning...

It's also hard as I'm the one my mother leans on for support, so I have to be strong for her. I've always been the responsible son so when the mess hits the fan I'm the one who ends up being a listening ear. So please be praying for my grandmother, my family and for me.

mood: depressed tags: tears

So finally, the long awaited Myrtle Beach Furmeet Report...


And a week later....

It's that time of year again. I'm going to send out Christmas Cards and if you would like to receive one then you can reply here with your address (comments are screened so only I see them). So let me be one of the first to wish all a merry christmas.

location: The North Pole mood: Christmassy music: It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

I met with my advisor today to discuss my research and the data analysis that has been done on my research thus far. We were at a point where it was likely to go either way, possibly being done, or needing more sampling. I had spent the past few days crunching numbers, inputting stuff into Excel, and running stats. I reached a finishing point and the numbers came out to be statistical significant (read I was right) and so I took these numbers to my advisor. He looked at them, smiled and said "I like what I see". We discussed the data, its meaning, its implications and when I asked about future sampling he said "No need to. We have what we need so you are done."

As I'm supposed to be a mature college student (ha ha) I did not run around going squeeee!!!!!!!!!!! (that will be when I get home). However I did go up and down my phone list and tell people the good news. I have completed the second big hurdle of my thesis, which is collecting the data. I'm taking a few minutes to celebrate, to back up my hard drive, and then it starts... the writing, the re-writing, the mental labor. It feels good to have accomplished something, to have taken the odds, the likilihood of failure and beat it back. Thank you to all who have encouraged me to this point *hugs* Thanks to Becca for her keeping me awake on my early morning drives to research, to eagle's flight for the help with excel formulas that confused the heck out of this folf, to Jasper for his friendship and encouragement when I wanted to quit or to scream with frustration from the dealings with difficult boat captains and to all the countless others who got me to this point. *hugs all*

mood: cheerful

So I had my second to last Saturday of research today. It was rather disappointing as there were no dolphins to be found except for one dolphin who lost the boat not once, not twice, but three times. Also, some sad news.... a dead calf was found last week and we did not know whose calf it was. After today we know that is was the calf of the dolphin we saw today, named Eve. I was saddened by this discovery, but such is nature.... some live and some die and there is nothing that can be done about it.

After research I raced home to find my ears and tail had come in the mail *grins* and I left them after grinning wildly and happily to go to the local race track as I had heard from topher_fox that he would be there as part of the crew for one of the cars in the race. I have never been to see this part of southern americana that is NASCAR   and so I was excited to go. I got to the races a bit early so that I could meet Topher during the autograph signing on the track. It was awesome to put a face to the name of a furr that I had been chatting with online and then I went to the bleachers to watch the race. Talk about loud! Next time I shall bring some ear plugs as my ears are still ringing from the engine roar. I never realized that NASCAR was so much fun to watch. The car that Topher was on the crew for was Car #65, a bright orange car much akin to the General Lee in color. In fact I was even able to snag a photo of the fox (topher that is) at work as the car pulled in for a pit stop....

mood: happy tags: races, tails

So here are my photos from AC 07, finally uploaded for your viewing pleasure. Man, I can't wait till AC 08....

http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d53/whaletrainer2002/Anthrocon/

mood: nostalgic

So I have been busy with school as of late and keeping myself afloat financially. The other week was good, went to the house of a furr from my church and we watched "Over the Hedge", talked art, and fixed his computer. It was myself, AJ, and Blaize (both furrs from my church). AJ is working on a new comic and he's including my fursona, Firekeeper, in the comic as a sharpshooter for the military. Right now he looks awesome and I hope that I can have a copy to post soon so everyone can see it. Blaize hadn't seen "Over the Hedge" before and so that is why we watched it. I love Hammie, is the most funny squirrel ever. "But I like da cookie..." Lol. It was nice to get to just chill and be furry for a bit, talking art and showing off how my first commissions are coming along (yes I am doing commissions now so let me know if you are interested). Badges are $8 plus shipping and are 3 inch x 4 inch. We also reinstalled the internet on AJ's computer. It was a great time had by all.
Also, the planning for the myrtle beach furmeet is coming along well and will include a cookout, fursuit minigolfing, and dinner. Also, I'm trying to find fursuiters to stay over to help with the kid's show at my church on Sunday morning so if you fursuit, live in the Carolinas, and like to make kids smile then let me know if you are interested in fursuiting the morning after the meet.

Well, is all I have for now, later

I finally got around to putting the photos from Anthrocon into a musical montage *grins* yeah, I know, should have been done ages ago... am a slacker. I hope that you enjoy them and that if you are in photos it brings back happy memories....

location: Memories mood: bouncy

So today was one of those sermons where God takes you and says "I need to remind you of the basics" and takes my and gives me what feels like a whooping. I mean that in the best of terms. What I mean is that, to give a bit of background, I struggle with yiff (for those outside of the furry genre pornography), and last night I took a 15 day run of victory and let it go. The sermon was on change, about leaving our old lives behind and no longer actively walking into sins and pitfalls of our past, about seeking God, truly repenting so that I can recieve forgiveness for my shortcomings. So often the attitude is that of "well, since I'm forgiven I can do what I want as God will just forget it because I'm a Christian." This attitude is not more wrong, as it takes the grace of God and just spits on it. It lacks that quality of true repentance that God calls us to. I had been taking that for granted, been doing my own thing, all the while living as a Christian everywhere else in my life. The time has come to change that and truly turn away from the furr that was who I was, and embrace who God desires me to be. I have repented, I am getting back on my paws through God's strength, and though I may stumble, though I may fall, there is no going back to the way things were.

location: On My Knees mood: prayerful music: East to West - Casting Crowns

I was wondering if anyone might be interested in conbadges from me. I tried my hand at making one for myself at Anthrocon and think that it came out well considering that currently my art supplies are somewhat limited. Here is the link to the one that I made for myself: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/59969299/

I'm offering badges as right now I'm in the midst of college and really need help right now to make my bills and really could use any help that I could get. I have paypal and so can take payments via that method. I was thinking $7.50 plus shipping for a 3x4 badge of your fursona with name, simple background. They would be headshots and on bristol board. If you are interested then post a reply.

mood: hopeful

Anthrocon 2007 was a blast! It was my first time surrounded by furrs and I loved every minute of it. I also was able to spend some time with my family prior to AC.

Time with Family:

My grandparents are getting a bit older now, but they still live in their own home and stick to a strict schedule. I was awakened each morning at 5:30am to the sounds of my grandfather in the kitchen which I would tune out and fall back asleep to. At 6:30am my grandmother would get up and go to eat breakfast. She would then proceed to holler “Earl it’s time for breakfast!” and keep talking to me until I got off the couch where I was sleeping and came to eat breakfast. The first morning was really hard as I had gotten into Greenville at 1:30am and so had only gotten 4 hours of sleep. I enjoyed eating breakfast with them, same thing each morning, an egg, toast, and cereal. It was nice to talk with them, to help them out some. After breakfast I’d typically then go and sleep for about 2 more hours.
I took my grandmother around to visit some of her friends and that was a very cool thing. It was almost as if God was behind each meeting as each person I met said something to me to encourage or support me in some things I have been struggling in and to also remove any doubts I had about the upcoming Anthrocon convention. Both meetings were so spiritually uplifting that it was awesome. Also, I took my grandparents to church that Sunday and the sermon was on Judges 6-8. This was interesting as I had been encouraged to read this passage the previous week by a friend when I was wondering about my ability to lead in the FFC. It is all about Gideon and how God used him to lead Israel to freedom, how God was the reason behind Gideon’s ability to lead, and that God used him even though later he fell to sin. It was almost as if God said “Well, you didn’t read what you needed to so I am going to put it in front of you because I want you to hear this.” I left church amazed at what God said in that service, reminded that God would be with me in the coming days.
Dinner with my other grandmother

Hanging with Keith:
So Keith (another FFCer) came up a few days early to hang out with me. It was cool to finally get to meet him as we have often talked on IM and the phone. I picked him up at the airport in the afternoon. It’s interesting going to pick someone up at the airport when you don’t know what they look like. I stood at the stairs waiting, but I think he had walked right past me and I didn’t notice. Eventually we met up and waited for his luggage. Apparently it decided it needed its own vacation as it only made it to Denver so we were told by the airline that it would be delivered within the next day or so to my grandparent’s house. His first comments about Pennsylvania were that it was flat, which I guess is true if you compare it to California. We drove back to Greenville, grabbed pizza for dinner, then went over to my grandparent’s house to stay there for the night. We talked with my grandparents some, then they went to sleep and we stayed up watching Scrubs, Futurama, and something else till we both fell asleep. The next day I slept through my morning wake up call.
Keith and wandered around downtown for a bit, which in Greenville isn’t all that much as it is a small town. We then went back to my grandparent’s house and hung around with them for a bit and then went to see the movie Ratatioulle, which was absolutely hilarious. As my friend Keith put it “It made my furry side happy”. It was a particulary furry movie and I loved it from beginning to end. I had a chance to see it earlier when I went to the movies with my grandmother (father’s mother) but decided to wait till I could go and see it with another that would find it equally amusing (e.g. another furr). Afterwards, we went to my other grandmother’s house for dinner. Dinner was great and then afterwards she proceeded to play 20 questions with Keith, asking him about the trip we were going on, where he’s from, etc. After dinner we all (my mother, Keith, myself, my sister) went to watch the fireworks.
The next day was spent at my cousin’s house where it rained on and off most of the day. We spent the day lounging around, just chilling and hanging out with my two younger cousins. We tried to take my cousin’s pontoon boat out, but it died half way across the lake and we had to be towed back. Also, Keith ended up in the water as he tried to step off the nose of the boat. Fortunately he caught himself and so he didn’t fall entirely in. That night we watched Ghostrider, which was a good movie.

Now… on to Anthrocon:

The next morning we both got up early (10am) and left for Pittsburgh after stopping at my grandparent’s house to say goodbye. We met another furr at the airport, dropped off the rental car, and then took a taxi to the Westin. We got there at noon and it was so awesome as I ran into my first large gathering of furrs and was greeted by running into Spunkywolf and Underwater Tiger, the scuba diving fursuiter. That night I met up with some furrs from an online group I work with called FurrsforChrist. We chatted for a bit and then wandered to Subway for dinner. It was great to finally get to meet people that I had been talking to for almost two years now but had not met before.
The next day we had a morning bible study in the room and we all told our story of how we came into the furry fandom. It was so awesome to get to sit down, talk with, and pray with everyone. That is what I was looking forward to most of all. Afterwards, we grabbed breakfast at the Brugell’s Bagel and then went to the opening ceremonies and then to the Dealer’s Den. I was the first person to get a sketch from HollyAnn. She is so awesome and such a wonderful artist. I had to laugh as within an hour of going to the dealer’s den both of my roommates had ears and a tail. I had tail envy the entire con as none of the dealers had a tail that was the right color scheme for me. We wandered around a bit and then went to a party with the Unicorn and Gryphon (another Christian furr group at AC). We had food there, fellowship, laughs, etc. Literary Equine aka Heavy Horse did a few magic tricks including cutting Stoker in half with rope. I was also given a few minutes to talk about the FFC and it was weird to have everyone look at me when they asked who was leading the group. I had never really felt that my involvement in the FFC was real until then. Afterwards, went back to the room and slept after wandering around the Zoo for a bit.
Saturday I saw Saturday Morning Memories with Rob Paulsen. It was so awesome to get to hear all the voices from my favorite cartoons as a child all in one sitting. Paulsen is hilarious and very congenial. I laughed my tail off as I sat and listened to him sing the Nations Song from Animaniacs and as he answered the question “Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?” with the voice of Pinky. I got to meet him later in the day, which was so awesome. I got him to sign my sketchbook and had my picture taken with him. The fursuit parade was great to watch. I had never seen so many at once and I think the best overall was the Halo Kitty fursuit as I love that game. I have many pictures from it that I will be posting soon. I also sat in on the woodworking panel, which was cool, and then went to the Masquerade and then Story Hour with Uncle Kage. The Masquerade was awesome. I think my favorite fursuit in it was the one of the fox with the skydiving goggles on. That was such an awesome suit and I’d love to know who was in it so I can thank them for letting me get a picture with them. It was a hoot watching Matthias get up and do the Time Warp at the end and made sure to document that with many photos.
Sunday was a little sad as two of the people I came with had to leave early that morning. I spent Sunday saying goodbye to everyone and making one last sweep of the dealer’s den. I also went to the drawing panel by Susan Deer on drawing facial expressions before catching a ride to the airport to return to my mundane life (pun completely intended).
Overall, this con was the best time I have had in a long while. It was awesome to be able to be completely at ease about being a furr, not feeling like I had to turn off that part of me for fear of being looked at weird for it. I had been afraid of being a furr for a while, but have now come to accept that as being a part of me, and now actually want to get my own fursuit as soon as finances permit. I have made a few new friends and strengthened existing friendships. For 3 days I was free to be myself and I will treasure those three days until AC 08 when I can again return.