Except that when mama canned it, her boyfriend had the bright idea to put 2 hot peppers and some garlic in it.  It were hot.  Fo Sho.

But it was good, but you don't need 2 whole hot peppers in one quart jar!!!!

I won't need to sneeze for days now though!!! LoL...

Simple homemade tomato soup:

You can use either tomato juice or pureed tomatoes, or just some tomatoes that were boiled down till they are good and soft. 

Put the tomoto-whatever in a pan, about 2/3 of they way full.  Turn on the heat to med. high or high.

Put about 1/2 c water in a separate container (I use the jar from the juice or the can), and a good handful of flour.  Whisk well.  Add to pan.

Allow to boil for a couple minutes, and then turn down heat.  Let simmer for about 5 minutes.

Salt and pepper to taste. 

If you want to add any other seasonings, add them after you turn down the heat.  Garlic is good in everything :).

because of MEEEEE!
So, the guys have asked me (thru Fancorps) to write a little LJ blurb situation about them...who they are, why I like them, that sort of thing.  Now, I know that we all have different tastes in music, but be open.  You never know who will come along and steal your ears...at least for a little while.

I heart it!  I found a sticker maker for $10.  Then, the refills were $5 apiece, so I bought 2.  YAY!

In my heart's sequestered chambers lie truths stripped of poet's gloss

Words alone are vain and vacant and my heart is mute.

Therefore, when I come here, in what is supposedly a safe place, I can't write what's inside.  There are too many things I want to say to too many people that I can't say, because some form of propriety doesn't allow it. He's married.  She's pregnant.  Things happened.  I'm scared. 

In response to aching silence, memory summons half-heard voices

and my soul find primal eloquence and wraps me in song.

But other people.  They say it.  Justin F.  Shawn M.  They say it and put it to music that sticks in my mind and won't let me go.  I want to say the same thing, but the words never fell in that order for me, but now they are there and I need them.  But there's still a part of me that says that I should be well-spoken enough that I could say what's there without borrowing someone else's words.   I want to tell you that You Make Me Smile.  I want to tell you that I am a Plastic Man.  I want to tell you that Hey I Told You We'd Do It, so HaHaHaHa Ha Ha HA Yeah we Won. But because someone else used those words, I don't.  I'm still scared.

If you would comfort me, sing me a lullaby.

But I don't think you remember how.  You don't sing to me.  You sing for everyone else and I just get to listen in.  Do you even know that I need comfort? Did you hear me when I said it?  Can your eyes see the tears?

If you would win my heart, sing me a love song.

I gave you my heart.  I didn't even make you win it.  Do you want it?  You walked away because I didn't throw it at you.  I just offered it.  Here.  It's still here.  It's still beating.  It's a little less perfect that what you want I guess, because you won't even look.

If you would mourn me and bring me to God, sing me a Requiem.

Sing me to Heaven.

The truth is, I'm scared you wouldn't mourn me.  You'd forget me and never think about that little, imperfect, soft, gentle heart that was yours for the taking.  You'd never know that the love I give is so pure and full that it never goes away.  And that soft heart?  It would stop beating, still loving you.

Touch in me all love and passion,Pain and pleasure

Touch in me, Grief and Comfort, love and Passion, Pain and Pleasure

You touched love. and passion briefly.  I thought that would make things right.  The pain...the pain is still there, and tender.  The bruise is still black and purple and swollen.  The pleasure is when it isn't being pressed.  I felt the grief of your loss.  I have yet to find that comfort.

Sing me a lullaby. A love song.  A Requiem.  Sing me to Heaven.

That's all you have to do.  Comfort me.  Win my heart.  Mourn me.  Lay me down.  But you won't because these words belong to someone else and you don't realize that the only way I can say what's in my heart is to sing the song that makes it boil over. 

I'm still scared.

Jon, 
This is a very difficult letter for me to write.  Since we haven't seen each other in a while, I think this is the best medium.  The thing is, I'm trying very hard at this friends thing, and really trying to be supportive through Amanda's pregnancy and those troubles, but Jon, I don't think it's a good idea anymore.  I still love you.  And I have serious doubts about Amanda.  I don't think one really influences the other, but still.  I never really got over you.  I think that breaking up with you was a huge mistake and you certainly deserve better than what I did to you.  So, I am writing so say goodbye.  At least for now.  I need to get away and figure out what the hell is wrong with me and fix things.  Perhaps...well.  No, I'm not going to say that.  Just...you know that if you  need me, you have every way to get in touch with me.  Nothing has changed.  But for now, I love you and goodbye.
Amy

So I dreamed last night that someone srewed up an order for groceries. Someo was in one basket, and not bagged, and the rest was in another basket, bagged.  I was looking for the unbagged one to get it together and finsih the order, but it had disappeared.  I looked and was freaking out.  Turned out, the customer had it.  The customer was Jeff Gordon (what?  Where the furk did HE come from?)  He was apparently impressed with my freakout and gave me a $20 for a tip.  Hrmm.

The other was a h ighly imappropriate sex dream involving men I should not be lusting after.  Congratualtions. YOu friended a freak.

You know, some people that will read this know some of the things I've been through in the past few years.  THe rest of you, well, just know this...I've been through enough that I know what I'm fucking talking about when I say this.

I am so damned tired of listening to people whine becuase someone did them wrong.  Wah wah wah.  Get teh fuck over it. You know what?  You're letting them do it to you over and fucking over every damn time you use that as an excuse, as a crutch, as whatever it is you use it for.  That is goddamn bullshit.  You are not ever going to be anything more than you are right now unles you buck up, grow up, adn get to stepping.  You want to know the truth?  You thinkyou're so special because you are still living after someone molested you, raped you, dumped you, cheated on you, stole from you...what the fuck ever they did.  The truth is, you are a damn pussy if you are still harping on it.  If you're still pulling away fromt eh good things that are happening in your life because of that, they are going at you again and you are begging them for it every time you tell someone that that's why. 

And what's even worse is that you folks are letting OTHER PEOPLE'S damn issues tell you what to do...now, oh, it's not even that it happened to you, it's that it happened to SOMEONE YOU KNOW.  Wow...that must be some heavy shit.  You are as bad as these victimized folks that beg for it again and again instead of just letting it go.  You are letting the fact that they are willing to let it stunt their lives, stunt yours too.  In the name of what?  Love?  Obligation?  Care for the human condition?  Sorry.  Yeah.  Bullshit.  What you should be doing, if you really love this person, is helping them see that they need to move the hell on. 

I'm just fucking tired of it all.  I'm tired of knowing that I had to bite and scratch and make a life for myself because I refused to let them win, just so that everyone around me can whine and bitch and moan because they won't do the work neccessary.

That is all.

Philosophy of Music Education

Amy Williams

            Music Education means something different to every person.  Not that anyone thinks it is something completely outside of learning notes and rhythms and how to decipher them from paper to sound, but the deeper meaning is different for everyone.  To some, it is simply an extra-curricular activity.  To some it is a way to fill an hour.  This is sad, but it is true. To many, though, it is something much more tangible.  It is a feeling, a sense of belonging, and a chance to express oneself through something beautiful.

            As I am planning to teach at the high school level, I will focus on that.  High school is a time of major change for students.  They are awkward and uncomfortable in their own skin. Schools use athletics most of the time to help their coordination and to teach teamwork, but many times, there are students who are unable to participate, for many reasons.   Offering a music class, either a choir, band, or even a general music class can achieve the same goals for those students.  To those students, music education means that they have somewhere where they belong and where they have a chance to shine.

            For some students, this time is even more difficult due to personal concerns.  Family problems, financial issues, and other personal problems compound an already confusing and difficult time.  When these students join any function at school, this can relieve those problems for at least a short time.  When music is that function, it often times gives them a momentary “escape” for any time by giving them a way to “relive” that good time any time through the music they learn.  Beautiful music has been known for a very long time to rejuvenate the soul, and what better way to give them that music than to allow them to sing or play it with a group that is already giving them a “safe place” during their day?

            I believe that every child should be given the opportunity to learn music, whether by singing, playing, or learning music history in order for them to achieve everything that is within their potential.  Music has been proven to help students achieve higher scores in math, language, and various other “academic” subjects. By offering a general music course that teaches theory basics and music history, you give students the chance to find something that they love.  By using all types of music, and keeping it relevant, you also promote a sense of unity among the students. In the environment of schools today, trying everything possible to promote unity among students is incredibly important. Using popular music of today alongside more traditional music, you can show that even on that level, we are all the same, and have the ability to work, live, and play together.

            With that in mind, the role of the music teacher is very important, and should only go to those most qualified to do the job.  First (but not necessarily most importantly), one should be a good musician.  They should show the professionalism, musicianship, and technical knowledge of a professional performer.  Second, they should be a great teacher.  Having that professionalism, musicianship, and technical knowledge is useless unless you can impart that knowledge onto your students.  Third, they should be a great salesman.  Being able to do the former two things is not very helpful unless you catch the students’ attention. That is one of the hallmarks of a great salesman. Also, you must keep that attention. If you are unable to keep that attention, you will never make the sale, or in this case, you will not be able to give those students the full advantage of music education.

            The importance of music education is often overlooked by those not directly involved, but there is a good chance that any adult now who had a good music teacher at some time while they were in school remembers that teacher, and that class, fondly. I am sure that if anyone digs deep enough into their memories of school, they will realize why it is such an important part of school curriculum.

So I haven't been on since I left school early December, so let's catch you up.  I went home for the holiday, and went to work at the Kroger in Olive Branch.  It was nice actually...got lots of hours and they worked with me to let me have as much time at home as possible too.  THe first couple of nights home, I got into it with mama.  Well, sort of.  We had words, we both started to cry and went our ways, then she came to my room and apologized and so did I and we talked.  I told he some things I hadn't talked to her about before...the mental stuff, the overdose, things like that.  It was really hard and we cried alot, but things were calmer after that.  Then, Jay came to visit.  THat was nice too.  Me and Summer wrapped presents and he played with Jacob.  Jacob liked Jay haha. Jay is surprisingly good with the kids...all 3 of them love him.  There are a couple of pictures in there.  Soon after, we found out that Summer is pregnant.  Again.  She doesn't understand why we're all not just so happy about it, but we're kind of upset.    Not that we won't love this one as much as we all do Jacob, but damn.  They just don't need another one.  Anyway, that rocked on.  Mama was stressed, so was I.  There was sort of a tension in the house for a while, but a couple days before Christmas me and mama talked.  She was depressed because she didn't have the money she needed to give us what she said she would give.  Usually, she gives us a little money...well...truthfully, it's a lot to us...it's been $100 for the last couple years...and then a few little gifts.  She always spends too much but this year, she had bought almost all of Jacob's Santa Claus, and she paid her bills, and had bought my sister one gift (it was a good one, and what she was going to get with the $100 mama said she was going to give us anyway), and bought mt brother a thing or two, but nothing for me, and didn't have enough to give us the money.  Well hell I told her don't worry aobut it.  It's not that importnat, but she was depressed about that and that she didn't have anything she was excited to give this year...she always has something she's just excited....just can't wait to give us.  This year she didn't.  But, she always pulls something off.  She went out after work Christmas Eve at 9 pm...nothing was open but a Walgreens.  It was a good thing because she walked in the door lit up.  She said "I got you something and you're goonna love it."  She was giddy all night.  Part of me thought "uh oh" becuase I knew if I didn't like it she would be so disappointed, so I decided whetheror not that I was going to act like it was freaking awesome.  But then again, mama does good with presents.  Christmas morning, I opened my present, and it was a phone with big nice numbers and speaker phone...and it's a good one too!  But the big deal present I never expected.  It's a keyring digital photo album...you know, it's a little thing that you download pictures from your computer and it flashes between them...well...I didn't have to act haha.  I love that thing.  I had told Jay I saw a 5x7 one that I liked, and it played music, but I like this one better because I can carry it around.I wasn't expecting the phone, but I'm glad I got it...I've used it tonight and it's awesome.  But the keyring thing...that is tha bomb hahaha. 

Then, I went to see Jay, and hung out with them.  That was nice too.  Missy is so sweet...she bought me a little bath set.  It smells soooo good...I wish I could use it...but mama's loving it haha.  Jay got a lovely locket that is a heart with "I love you" on it.  It's pretty.  We were going to see a movie, but it was crowded, so we went to eat.  The only place open was this little hole in the wall knockoff of waffle house called Omelet House.  But I'm telling you, that was the best damn patty melt I have ever had...and Jay loved his burger.  It was sooo good haha.  I know...corny as hell...but it was good.

New Years Eve, I worked, but I went to Jay's afterward.  We talked about going to some radio party in Tupleo, but Jay got off work late so we didn't.  We went to his favorite restaurant, Ruby Tuesday.  It was crowded but the place is laid out nicely, so we didn't feel crowded, and it took a while to get our orders, but it wasn't so bad...they kept the drinks coming haha.  Oh...we were drinking tea and sprite.  I got a Blue Cheese burger and Oh man...it was good.  And they have a pepper grinder at each table, so I put that on my fries and it was so good you could small it. And I had a salad that was fanastic with blue cheese dressing.  We were both starving haha.  Jay had a steak with some broccoli and a loaded baked potato, and he said it was really good too.  Was great.  Then, we went to Walmart.  Hahaha...I know I know.  We walked some of that food off lol.  We left there about 11:30 hoping to make it home by midnight, but we didn't.  We were almost there but not quite so I made him pull over a few minutes before midnight.  Well, we parked on the side of the road and looked up and someone was shooting fireworks a little ways ahead.  They shot them off through the new year, and we kissed at midnight.  We sat there and watched till the fireworks stopped and went home and watched a movie till we went to sleep.  It was really nice.  I swear he couldn't have planned that stop better haha.

Then, he had bought some fireworks, so Wednesday, he came to my house and shot them off.  They were pretty.  There were a couple duds, but we set them off so that Jacob could watch from inside the house.  Jay is going to shoot fireworks on the 4th of July as well...that's Jacob's birthday!  He wasn't impressed with these, so he's getting the nice ones then, and we're going to work together on them...it will be fancy.  I can't wait.  He was giggling like a mad man setting them off haha.

Then, Donnie called mama, and she wasn't home, so we talked.  We just tlaked some things out and cleared out the muck.  It was nice.  Id on't think he and I hace ever just talked, just me and him, before.  We didn't get on too well for years, you see, and it wasn't till the last couple of years that we have tolerated each other.  SOme of it was misunderstanding, some was him, some was me, but it's over now an dI think that things will be better now.  He's actually a pretty cool guy haha.  He's been good to me truly, even before, but still.  It's...well...there was a lot going on.  And I'm glad things are better now. It was just really nice to just sit down and talk.

And, now I'm back at school. That was my holiday.  Oh, and I worked Christmas Eve, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day.  And, I was sick...still am.  Had a bad sinus infection that turned into strep.  I couldn't talk until right before Christmas.  People at work thought I was a mute!  Haha.  The drainage has settled in my chest, so I still have a bad cough, but I'm getting better.I worked the whole time...but before anyone thinks I had it easy haha.  It was a good holiday.  Things are calmer and will be getting better from now on.  Mama is trying to be more understanding and they all love Jay, and things are good.