After this morning's Strega-demanded run (oh, my legs are tired!) I decided to head out with mountain bike in tow and revisit last weekend's trails alone.

Oh, the pain, the agony, the... did I mention my legs are tired? I started on the more technical side with an eye to improving on my performance last weekend. I can't say I did any better on the little 90degree inclines (ok, they're not that steep, but the FEEL that steep, and look pretty close to it)but I thought I was doing much better on the rest of it. That is, till I noticed the dude that I'd caught a gimpse of as he floated through the trees caught up to me. I got out of his way and let him float, ghostlike, on ahead as he called out "its instinctual!" to me. Maybe for him.

I did, at least, do better on the part where you ride right beside a nasty gorge drop-off.

So, then I crossed over to the "easier" side. Oh, I was feeling GOOD about myself. I was hitting this section so much faster, with much more confidence, I felt like I could conquer this bad boy. Oh yeah... and then, I twisted around a curve, down a hill, and hit the turn almost at the bottom all wrong. The handlebar on the left smacked a tree, I over-corrected and slammed straight into a tree on the right. Too bad by then the ghost-dude had slipped over to this side too. I'm sure he was giggling to himself, where ever he was on the trail, because I'm betting he heard me cry out as I smacked into that tree. To say the least, I didn't move nearly so fast on the rest of the ride. Maybe next time I'll do better, but I finished the one loop on each and decided my legs, confidence and pride had both had quite enough.

Bucky the Wonder Bird has left the building.





The home he went to is filled with good people. R's mom immediately put him at ease, smiling and making hand signals to him. They're interesting people, too.


I left crying of course. It is no joyous thing, to realize you can no longer properly care for your fid (feathered kid). What I did was not the fun thing, it wasn't what I wanted to be doing, but it was the right thing.

Damn me, it was the *right* thing. After two hours spent there, I left knowing it was the right thing, the right home, the right people for him.

I think I have an abscessed tooth.

When I crawl into bed, I'm chilly. I snug down into the covers until they're warm around me and drift off... only to wake up after a fitful night sweltering.


Dreams recently have been disturbed. I've not slept through the night all week. Strega-dog hasn't bothered to try climbing into bed, either. I guess he doesn't want to be kicked. In weeks past I'd wake up and you could barely tell anyone had been in that bed, the covers were nigh pristine. This week I wake up and they're tangled all about, evidence of the tossing and kicking going on. No wonder I had no energy, strength or kick to run my regular route. I had to shorten it, I just had nothing to give.

Is this symptomatic of underlying financial stress? Reactions to the market crisis? A closer concern, like the rehoming of one Bucky the Wonder Bird? Or could it just be night sweats? Only the Shadow knows, and he ain't tellin.

Do you know what the difference is between running on the street/sidewalk and running on a trail?

I mean, aside from the obvious difference in scenery and traffic.

On the trail, the surface is uneven. There are roots and rocks, the ground can be different heights on either side, there are obstacles to dodge... on the street or sidewalk none of this is a real problem (unless you're on some seriously messed up streets!). On the trail, there's often only room to go single-file. On the street/sidewalk, you can run side by side. On the trail, you have to watch each step to be sure you don't twist an ankle. On the street/sidewalk you can just pop in an iPod and zone out. That last part is the part I've really started to recognize. The past few weeks I've done a good bit of street running. I've found the zone-out mode where you're just letting the body move, not really thinking about anything, not necessarily even aware of what's going on. It is meditative in repetition. Call it my zen time. I've had moments like that on the trail, but it is less possible. My mind is entirely engaged when trail running. The environment, attention to where my feet fall, attention to sounds around me lest I stumble upon wildlife (watching for snakes in summer, for instance). My body is pounded less by the hard surface, and my senses appreciate and love the smells, sights and beauty on the trail. Sometimes though, I find I need that meditative zoning out time when I need not think about anything but that my body is moving, propelling me forward in a rhythm all its own.

I just had a meeting with a young lady, R, who wants a bird.


We talked about her home life, her plans, her family... and I felt very comfortable with the idea of her taking on my little green monster. She knows it might be a while before she'd win his heart over, but she's patient. Her parents live with her, she is their caretaker. Her father is disabled, her mother stays home with him, and her mother grew up with a macaw. R works at the vets office.

R laughs a lot, and that's Bucky's favorite sound. Her mom sings when she cooks, and Bucky loves when people sing.

R grew up with parakeets, like I did. She knows how much personality is packed in these feathered family members.

The biggest thing though, is there are people around her. There is interaction. Bucky may tend to pick one favorite person, but he LIKES having a "flock" to socialize with. It's coded in the 'zon DNA to have more than one person at a time around.

So, Saturday I'm going to do a home visit to see her place. If I like what I see, Bucky will stay with her. I have to figure out how to get the cage there, but yeah, I really feel good about her. Her happy disposition and demeanor (which her boss at the vet's tells me he's not seen her get angry, she's pretty even tempered) are just about perfect to deal with the challenge of a cranky parrot that'll need some time to adjust to a new home and situation.

I really really love that you go running in the morning and take me. Really. Do it more. Just one thing though. When we're trotting down the sidewalks, why don't you want me to play with those big noisy things that zoom by growling at me? Also, why didn't you understand I really really really had to go to the bathroom this morning? I was trying to tell you, but you'd jog past the right spot and then stop somewhere totally unsuited for relieving myself, bark at me, then when I tried to tell you it was the wrong spot you started jogging again and didn't seem to understand that I need tall grasses. I finally got to go but sheesh! Also, why is it you seem to not want to gallop after that warm-up? You always finish our jog at the dog park and I always feel sooooo good and want to run justasfastasIcan but you just don't come? Why?

Anyway, I forgive you for all that, just try to pay more attention when I need to go and for once I'd like to chase one of those big, growly things!

-The Devildog

Ok, now THIS bit of politicking I can deal with!

Ok, I've started several rants this past hour and scrapped every one as inappropriate or far too likely to garner confusion than anything else. Suffice it to say that I am sick to death of the politicking from the sidelines of every tom, dick and harry for one side or the other. All the partisan infighting just seems idiotic to me in light of the growing financial downturn while state governments are finding themselves with massive budget shortfalls. Georgia is in bad enough shape they're firing not just city/state desk employees but police, prison guards, firemen... Oh yeah, and crime is up about 25% last I heard.

So, you go ahead and worry about who threw whom a party when they first started getting into the political scene. I'll worry about whether I need to go purchase some ammunition for my guns.

My phone mostly works now. A hiccup last night for a bit, but I can at least make and receive calls now.

I may have to look into alternate carriers and options to consider for the end of this contract. It might be *time*.

So, if anyone has tried to call me in the past few days and not gotten through, here's the deal.

Friday night my phone made odd fizzy noises, got hot, and quit working. Eventually I plugged it in the charger under the theory that because I had it on while working out, maybe the battery got a bit wet (I opened and wiped it down, in case). It tended to lose charge quickly anyway, so that didn't concern me. Thing is, it wouldn't take the charge. It acted like it wanted to, but never actually signaled that it was charging. So I unplugged it and planned on a trip to the nearest AT&T store that could handle out of state accounts.

I got by there today, walked in and handed it to a rep saying "it won't work and won't charge". He said "well, even if the battery is dead it should recognize the charger..."
"uh, it doesn't. I think the battery is shot and has a major problem."
"Well, lets see if we have a battery. We don't carry that model anymore, so we might not."

He goes into the back and finds that in fact they have a battery that will kinda fit, brings it out and installs it. The phone starts to power up, then crashes down again.

"Its your phone, lets check your account"

*sigh*

The warranty ended last year, and I'm not illegible for an upgrade till January, so I'd have to pay full price. He turns me over to a sales rep (he was support). She starts telling me the best bet would be to go to a department store like Walmart or Target, get a pay-as-you-go phone and just put my chip in it. That way I'd pay a much better price for a phone to use till I am ready to upgrade. As she's telling me this I notice that the base of my phone (in my hand) is quite warm. I look at it and the smell of burning electronics hits me.

Uh.

It burned a hole next to the 4 as we watched before the sales rep pulled the battery out again (her eyes were getting huge, like saucers). I just stood there a moment, amazed. This thing had been RIGHT AGAINST MY SKIN. I suggest we make sure the chip works still. She told me it did but that it only has 2 phone numbers in it.

So, I went to Target, I got a pay-as-you-go, put it together as told and plugged it in.







It won't activate. Won't even turn on.


So, I'm still sans phone. I'm not sure what to do now.

Wow. I'm about worn to a nub. I didn't get my phone fixed, instead I went for a ride. I started to take the motorcycle to the store to get the new battery since I suspect the old one is fried and hence won't take a charge but immediately on getting outside thought I'd go for a joy ride instead. I only got about 2 miles before I decided I was on the wrong bike. I went back and switched for the one I have to pedal.

Sure made for a pitiful 5K with my friend Pam. Then again, even with two moments of walking (cuz yeah, I'm that worn out)I finished in 30.

Not sure how, but I killed my phone yesterday afternoon. So, today instead of a morning bike ride I'm waiting for the AT&T store to open so I can get whatever is wrong fixed.

At least I have a run scheduled tonight, else I'd feel like a real lazy bum.

Its back to allergy season. Joy.

I had an interesting encounter this morning with a man who has just learned a rough lesson on love. He told me his girlfriend left him because she loves him. I was confused, and he explained that he couldn't break some hurtful habits. Every time he said something that hurt her, he hurt himself. He said he realized how much he hurt himself when he hurts other people with his words, and her leaving him finally drove that home. He said he was tired of hurting people.

His voice broke as he related this to me. There at the gas station, I hugged him till the rush of pain he was feeling passed. He told me he never believed he deserved to be loved.


I realized as I told him that it seems none of us believe it to start, but, that he IS a good man, and that he does deserve to be and is worthy of love.

He said he finally realized he doesn't have to be a Christian to live like one.

I think I can't begin to analyze this.

I really am shrinking. The jeans I'm wearing today fit like a glove when I bought them last year. Today, they're too loose.

I wonder if a seamstress could take them in by a size?

Yeah, who needs congress anyway?

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There was a very annoying, weird dude that decided to talk to those of us gathered at the Bike South lot for the ride. Being the only girl there, naturally he singled me out to try to talk to. I made an excuse to go talk to someone else for a bit, but sure enough at the first opportunity the dude starts asking for my number so "we can ride together." Mind you, he has no bike there and can barely string two sentences together in a row, but sure enough he wanted to suggest I ride with him. No way was I going to agree to that! Instead, I rolled up to one of the other guys, looked at my watch and asked "do we want to wait 5 more minutes for everyone, or go ahead and roll?"

"I'm not in charge, but I'm ready to go..."

So I said "Hey y'all, lets roll."
"Which route?"
"The harder one, just don't kill me please?"
"No problem, lets go!"

And off we went. The boys didn't even kill me. I was seriously glad we got to get the heck out of there before that crazy coot asked me any more questions.

I find myself looking around in awe.


It awes me to realize how very, insanely arrogant most of humanity truly is, and how very incredibly stupid.

Do you believe that fat cells contain the chemical triggers from past emotions?

Theoretically, as those fat cells burn off, the "memory" of that emotion is re-released in the body.

There's another theory that emotional pain is translated to physical pain. This means that some physical pain can be cured if the emotional issue is cleared up.

What do you think about these theories?