08/24/2005
20:54 GMT

Deployed tactical feline DESTRUCTOR unit to grid sqare 84, Veternarian Office from 4RUNNER ASSAULT VEHICLE. LEAD INSERTION UNITS Karelia and Nepenthe performed tactical reconnaissance, followed by STRIKE AND ELIMINATION UNIT BETA consisting of Athena, Kahlua, and Perl, codenames TROTTOIR, ASSPENIS, and PISSYPERL.

21:15 GMT

LEAD INSERTION UNITS Karelia and Nepenthe successfully complete reconnaissance phase of mission. Units massed and vaccinated successfully. Survive fire from STEROIDAL INJECTION to combat INFLAMMATORY BOWEL DISEASE. Unit Karelia takes hit from periodontal disease, may require post-mission MEDEVAC.

21:33 GMT

STRIKE AND ELIMINATION UNIT BETA takes heavy fire from HESKA VACCINE MORTAR FIRE. Heart murmur negative for PISSYPERL. ASSPENIS receives new ASTHMA DEFENSE CRASH KIT. ASSPENIS apparently needed ELIMINATION RELIEF. TROTTOIR unscathed save for possible periodontal shrapnel.



Athena
Codenames: TROTTOIR, LOOKY-LOO, ED, WEINER TROTSKY
Infiltration and Elimination Specialist



Kahlua and Karelia
Codenames: ASSPENIS (Kahlua); FATASS, MANG, CHAW DANDERMANG (Karelia)
Covert Operations and Linguistic Specialists



Nepenthe
Codename: <CLASSIFIED>
LEAD INSERTION UNIT



Perl
Codename: PISSYPERL, PRETTYPERL
Hiss, Bite, and Scratch specialist



Units scheduled for possible repeat deployment in 12 months time.