Many moons ago before the oceans drank atlantis
Did you just grab my balls?
What? No!

I'm hanging out at Sam's at zee moment. Zee moment? Zee last 24 hours. I probably smell like ass. A delicious, scrumptious ass. Dripping with other smaller more liquidy, fragrant asses. I would punch your mother for a shower and some fresh drawers. I'd use algebra and punchies to convert her teeth to chiclettes! My tools: physics and my tiny bony balled up fists. I wish I had my big funny pants. My big funny pants miss me. I miss them. We are in love. We will have tiny big funny pants timmy spider babies.

Ariel is here from the other coast. She is neat in that she is more or less exactly as Sam described her. Hot, awesome, intelligente, funny, 700 feet tall, and made of hollow chocolate duckies. In the time that I've been here, she's driven my truck, kneed me to the floor, and unknowingly taken part in an erotic stuffed-monkey photo shoot. All I've done was sat around in bunny ears and slept. Sometimes I drew drawings, or I drank boozes I did. Ja. I like the green crayons the best. My nails look FABULOUS. Simply.

My neck is stiff. I need someone to rub it. Proceed.

Everyone fell asleep. Sam got drunk for the first time in a zillion years... or one of the few times in a zillion years... because nina simone passed away. She went from sober to throw-up drunk in roughly 5 minutes. Amazing to witness. My ass hurts from sitting on the edge of this wooden futon thingy. Add that to the quota of things that need rubbing. Proceed.

I had a dream last night that really scared me. It was about someone I love deeply, but (due mostly to my own questionable self-esteem and to a lesser extant a lack of attention) I don't think feels quite the same way about me. I mean I know I'm wrong, but that's how I feel sometimes and that's how it played out in my dream. In said dream, she left for an other country without much warning... I spent much of the dream moping and attempting to delay the inevitable. I guess that was my brain's way of rationalizing me leaving. I'm going to miss people so much, and I'm desperately scared about that. I get pouty and shitty when I can't see certain people for more then a week. I'm crying to the wrong crowd, I know.

I can't spell crowd. Why the fuck am I crying to an ancient violin (a croud)? The world's tiniest ancient violin playing "my heart shits babies for you".

Sleepy. Time to shit or get off the pot. I hate when it's dark and the birds start chirping. Means the sun comes soon. I curse it so! A pox on their house!

It's 2am?! The birds in Sam's neighborhood are fucktarded.