I just want to say thank you to all who sent get well messages recently and sorry that I have been unable to reply to everyone. I'd like to say I will at some point, but eh.... I am back to work now and having little time for it so you all get a big thank you together. I love you and I am grateful for you. *Hugs*

Thursday morning I woke up early so I could work out and go for a jog to start the day. I was feeling so good I wasn't paying attention. My foot slipped at the top of the stairs. I fell on my tail bone and broke it and then fell down the rest of the stairs, bumping it on each one as I went and that is every bit as unpleasant as it sounds. At first I just thought it was a nasty fall but I started to lose feeling in my arms and legs so I had Isaiah call 911. Paramedics collared me and took me to Providence where my xray showed a break in my cocyx. I've been unable to sit until today so I could not go online and even now I am going to limit sitting. I spend most of the day in bed taking percocet and painting. I talk on the phone quite a bit. I talked to my sis for near three hours last night and this morning my mom lost her voice from talking so much.

I am grateful that I have insurance, paid medical leave from work, and wonderful support from my family. Isaiah has been super dad and super boyfriend at the same time. Several close friends have been by to keep me company and I'm grateful for them too. I won't be going online much for now because its still delicate and I'm trying to save my sitting so I can heal faster and be back on the job providing rock star customer service to AT&T customers.

I'm not one for heat but the summer really makes things grow and the garden is definately my happy place.

I posted this image a bit ago but I've added on since and the additions have been simple but they make it so much more interesting. Tonight I'm giving this piece to the owners of Plan B. It may not be the biggest or fanciest venue thats ever been but its big enough, cheap as dirt to drink in, and the music is deathrock, punk, and industrial which is as far from synthpop as possible.


This is cardboard in a frame that Jen and I pulled out of a dumpster in Gresham nearly a year ago. Before its mentioned I'll just say I did put the splatter on the frame on purpose and there no deep meaningful purpose in that, the paint just needs to be wild.


This........


Is the begining of ............


This.....which these two pieces of are still under construction. The pink and white one is a map of the intended use of space for the twelve canvases that will be shown together as one piece. Each one is four feet tall so when I do show them it will have to be somewhere big.


This is me and my colleague in our fancy uptown art studio.

This is one of my favorite songs in the whole world.

Today is Isaiah's birthday. We celebrated yesterday because it was hard to get time off for family members on a Monday. Hansel was a helpful guy.... he was especially helpful with cake and presents. Heres some pics.

These are two paintings I've done recently. I've been working with stretched canvas 2 feet by four feet. The paint is latex house paint.


I'm donating this painting to my favorite punk bar, Plan B. I think it will go well with the motif. The bar is decorated with old punk vinyls.


This hangs above my toilet. I don't intend to ever give it or show it.


This is a little closer up.

I have many other projects planned out and right now I'm trying to compromise between the goal of having an exhibition and the goal of giving at least one large peice to a number of close friends who've inspired me. I don't expect to achieve these goals as an artist for at least two years but I work on the ideas for technique and presentation almost every day.

PREPARE YOURSELF....

There will be many birthday pictures and they will be so punk rox you will have bihawks when you're done viewing them.


This is my birthday card from Jen; I was very flattered and gratfeul to recieve this. She put my composter in it even!


Me and my Jenn! <3


This is me and my Big Bear with my birthday cake.


And us again. I am not 31. He just did that to be a smart ass.


Me and the Brandie Sitter. Brandie used to provide childcare for Hansel when I was a single mom and she will always be Brandie Sitter to us.



Me and some guy who walked in and made himself at home but none of us knew who the fuck he is... I mean Chris.


Me and my birthday people.


And more birthday people.


Me and Talia The Research MASTER.


Talia's birthday card to me which had Guitar shaped earings inside. ROCKOUT!


My porch rockin the bbq.

For my bday I had many friends and family with me. I got coffee, guitar earings, HOMM3, latex house paint, chocolate, and Hansel went poopoo in the potty. I had a wonderful birthday. Thank you to everyone who sent emails, texts, lj stuff and myspace stuff, and phone calls for my bday. You all made me feel absolutely fabuslous!

Last night I went to Embers with Texas Tonya to start my birthday out right. We had a damn good time. Anyone I drunk dialed on my home will tell you that. Look at us. We're fucking rockstars.


First thing I heard this morning was "Mamma, have a juice?" and nothing could be better on my bday than waking up to my little guy.

I'll post more pictures later. I have some from Father's Day and Adah's Bday I just didn't get around to posting yet. For now I must get ready for my birthday bbq. I must say today is the perfect day for a bbq.

It has finally happened. I've conducted an entire customer service phone call while talking in my sleep. Isaiah happened to be awake listening so when I asked him, "How can I help you today?" he told me he needs me to kill a donkey. According to Isaiah my reply was "I'd be happy to help you with that. Give me a moment to open your account and see what we can do." and after a brief pause I said, "Wait.... I'm sorry....what did you say?"

Here's your team!

Some recent pictures......


Me and my little bear, brushing teeth. I am a great big fan of clean teeth, as you may know, so I make sure my guy brushes his teeth several times a day.


Hansel and his girlfriend, Rinoa, being little cuties. I have to say, I think my boy is one very punk little rocker! We took Rinoa and her mommy out to lunch and library a couple weeks ago and they were such cuties together! Tomorrow we're taking them out for a picnic and we're very excited for that. Hansel and Rinoa are two peas in a pod in an organic garden.


Hansel as Beevis..... They become teenagers so fast. One day they're cuddling and singing Itsy Bitsy Spider and the next they're wearing white socks with black sneakers and pulling shirts half over their heads.

Ah.... so I'm turning 30 next Thursday. I already feel my Saturn Return hitting. I've been planning out a painting exhibition which will probably take a year or two to complete. I feel very inspired. The center of my art focus right now is a series of twelve paintings four feet tall and two feet wide and each one has a unique image of its own but when placed together they make one large image of a skull with a mermaid over it and the mermaid's tail makes up one of the jawbones of the face of death. I want to show death and life together in a way that is meaningful and playful. Its gonna be seriously cool when I'm done with it.

While I'm preparing these images I'll also work on a series of paintings that will go in the same show but be displayed separately from the mermaid skull. The images I want to present will be Icini warriors, octopi, graven violinists and fiddlers, mothers and children, deamons, angels, hobos, gardens, and things that represent life and death. I want to incorporate woad somehow but I am still working on that aspect of it in my mind. When I have the full exhibition complete I'll photograph them and present the portpholio to places I want to show in. My first choice is Backspace. I think Backspace is a great place to show. It can only be shown in a place with an available wallspace that is atleast 15 feet tall, for obvious reasons. I may aproach Plan B for a showing too but they don't do art things in general so I'm not going to put too much hope on that idea, I just think they'd be a fun place to show my art. I'm going to build raport with the owners for now. I'm donating a pretty nice painting of a hungry looking skull with teeth made of skulls to their establishment to open dialog for the future.

That said their will be a little bit of celebrating my birthday on Wednesday night and Thursday afternoon so if you are up for it and I haven't invited you give a shout! Yow!

Thank you to all friends who recently sent me warm thoughts and protective energy. I love you.

Shane McKay has been released from prison. To anyone who knows me personally and knows Shane I will say that Shane does not know my adress or place of business now and if I find out that anyone acquainted with the both of us begins sabotaging this or trying to contact Hansel on behalf of Shane our friendship will be directly over and I will contact the police immediately. If you do not know him but he (or someone you suspect to be him) aproaches you and tries to be friendly and discuss Hansel's location ignore him and walk away. If you write down the date and time and place of the occurance and give me that information I will be very grateful. Shane can see this and knows that everyone I know has access to this request.

I have spoken with the woman who organized his release and placed him with his parole officer. I have both of their contact information. Shane is not permitted within 1000 feet of Hansel and not permitted to send anyone else to contact Hansel. Any contact or attempted contact from him or someone he sends is a violation of his parole and will result in further incarceration.

We've just decided on our 2008 Halloween costumes. Isaiah is going to be a zombie Santa Claus with a fireplace poker stuck through his torso. I am going to be a zombie Mrs Claus and carry a deer head with blood and gore hanging off it. Hansel is going to be a zombie elf.

Kazumi ....

saint_ama and valkyrja_ihwar came over for dinner and cheered me up last night. Hansel was such a ham. He had them wrapped around his finger.







It was our first time hanging out IRL but it was a good time and I feel pretty lucky to have had such good company on a day that would have otherwise sucked big eggs.




Hansel got a dino from Gramma yesterday. You have no idea how happy he is. He keeps trying to get me to play tag with him and the dino. Then he takes his big floppy rubber spider and makes it jump off the dino's back like the spider monsters that jumped off the big monster in Cloverfield.

The restraining order plan didn't go as expected......

I spent quite a bit of time on the phone with staff at the courthouse this week asking questions and even stopped by the courthouse to get advice and pick up the petition for a restraining order. I don't like to go into my life story when I'm doing research but I made it known that the restraining order was to protect my son from his biological father who is in prison for assaulting him. I lost count of how many people I talked to but NOT ONE of them told me that I could not get a restraining order to protect a child. Then I requested an emergency day off work so I could spend the day getting a restraining order.

I was up at the break of dawn preparing paperwork and loading my briefcase. I went downtown hours before the judge would be available. When I arrived I told the desk clerk my purpose in coming and was told I cannot get a restraining order to protect a child. There is no law provisioning the ability for a parent to obtain a restraining order to protect a child from another adult. I pulled out my previous restraining order and waived it and said it can't be true because I had one before. I was told that it was issued by a juvenile court and cannot be obtained by request like a restraining order against a domestic partner. I asked if there is a place to go get another one and they said family court in another part of town is where it would be done but that it won't be done by me. I have to get a lawyer they said. I did not want to accept that so I turned to my cell phone. I called the family court who directed me to the district attourney's office, who directed me to the victim assistance hotline, who directed me to the family court and came to a dead end. I left my number on the voicemail of a victim's advocate but I never heard back from her.

I am not giving up but I am disapointed in the legal system. I could write a book about how the legal system has let us down but that would be futile. I am going to do some research about what it takes to pass a law because someone has to pass a law that permits a parent to obtain a restraining order on behalf of a child ... and bitching about it obviously won't get me anywhere.

This week I'm getting another restraining order set up to keep Shane away from Hansel. Then I am going to Washington County to make sure he gets it before he gets released from prison.

Centipede!!!!!!






I have finally made use of my old dreadlocks. They are now part of this hanging altar which drapes above one of Hansel's masterpieces in the family room.

Its fucking hot. Didn't we have snow a couple weeks ago???? I would not mind some refreshing mist rain or thunderstorms or something wet. My garden is happy and well hydrated at least. Hansel and I recycled our bathwater with buckets to water the garden and it was fun to dunk our water cans in the buckets together. Its a concept I'v been wanting to use for a long time but just never got around to. Previously I've lived in grey water houses and I grew up in Arizona so water conservation is something I've always considered a part of day to day life. My goal is to eventually get at least half the water I use to be recycled at least once.

Today I went to Powells with Hansel. We got some wonderful books. Mostly kids books. There was one for Mommy though..... one book so cool its hard to believe I paid $40 for it. This is a book of Albrecht Durer prints from the 1930's in perfect condition with hundreds of beautiful prints.


This is my favorite picture book in my collection now. Maybe its even my favorite book out of all of them. I can't decide. Hugo's Toilers Of The Sea might be the ultimate book in my collection. If it is this is in close second though.

After Powell's ......


We came home and I found out I have a troll living under my computer...


..... a troll that gives jelly beans to weary travellers......
Everyone should have a computer troll!