| The Complete History Of The Romstar League |
[Jul. 25th, 2007|04:25 pm] |
The Modern Romstar League was born in 1973 (After a brief colonial try out in 1776), as the result of the amalgomation of several dominant beer league softball champions, who agreed to switch over to fastpitch baseball on the condition that they are allowed to drink while playing.
The "Original 12" consists of the Chicago Fireballs, Miami Pirates, Denver Dragons (aka Denver Dragoons, which has been a long running typo), LA Superstars, Oakland Knights, Tempe Matadors, Toronto Captains, Houston Eagles, Boston Apaches, Texas Towers, San Diego Samurais, and the Nebraska Jets. The first expansion period of the Romstar League was in 1987 with the addition of the teams Milwaukee Rockets, New York Comets, and Detroit Arrows, the second expansion in 1994 added the Memphis Bluesox and the Vancouver Cobras, and in 1998 the Torrance Tigers.
The Original 12:
The Chicago Fireballs enjoyed picking up the most dominant players of their time, and put this to good use winning 19 of the 30 recorded (All current stats after 2006 have been withheld by the US government, and can only been seen by the Majestic 12 until 2057, when it becomes declassified). There was never any steroid testing in the RBL, and unlike certain MLB stars, the RBL homerun stars have no problem stating they have taking performance enhancing drugs to help them achieve higher plateaus. George Baker of the Chicago Fireballs makes it a tradition before each game to eat chicken, which has been injected with 500cc of anabolic steroids.
The Miami Pirates have been the perennial losers of the original Romstar League teams. Going 31 seasons without a Romstar Pennant, and only 2 Romstar final appearances they are the joke of the Romstar league original teams. They are known for the ritual suicide of the manager of the losing season, never having the same manager over 31 seasons. Most suicides are by seppaku with a baseball bat, but sometimes by traditional noose or gunnshot wound to the temple.
The Denver Dragons, aka The Denver Dragoons, are another shit team. However, they did manage to win the inaugural 1973 season by luck. Most people speculate that the Dragons watered down their drinks as to not be as drunk as the other teams, and won in that fashion. They claim that one day they will be the only true master of the Romstar League after the New World Order of the Denver Airport. Most people see this as total nonsense, some other conspiracy theorists, not so much.
LA Superstars are known as the most defensive team in the RSL. However, most of their team is lacking hitting power, except for a few key players, who are totally jacked on steroids. They are not really superstars however, much like how there are no Indians (North American or South East Asian) playing for the Cleveland Indians.
The Oakland Knights have had an interesting stay in the RSL. They moved from LA, to Oakland, then back To LA. No one seemed to notice, even fans of Major BASEketball League. They have only had the one Romstar Pennant in 1998 when most of the teams sat out in the strike of 1998. History has lost that only 6 teams showed up to contest the season, which was a total farce, not unlike the 2005 F1 US GP.
The Tempe Matadors are one of the shittiest teams in RSL history, only having made the finals once, and to lose that game 56-2, giving up 54 runs in the 3rd inning, which lasted for 4 hours. This is still not the most one sided game in RSL history. They are also the only team in history to be named after an automobile, being named after the AMC Matador, and not the bull fighting person.
The Toronto Captains are a strange team. The only original team in the RSL from Canada, they only secured pennants in 1992 and 1993, when they got little exposure due to other events going on in the city that year...even though they had just opened their new stadium called the "Air Bowl" in 1989. There are constant rumors that they will be relocated to an American city due to what the RSL states as "poor fan attendance", but most Canadians believe it is just a conspiracy to have an all American league.
The Houston Eagles exist only to be an across state rival to the Texas Towers. They have never won a Romstar pennant, and their only two appearances in the finals was against the Texas Towers, which many feel to be rigged. The Romstar league's fanbase is made up primarily of people paranoid about conspiracies for some unexplained reason.
The Boston Apaches, who did not start the series with this name, but instead had a more offensive name....more offensive than "Washington Redskins". So offensive infact that the original name has been erased from all record books. Any books found with the original name in it have been purchased by the RSL, and burned, then replaced with the current name, at great cost to the RSL.
The Texas Towers, the 4th best team in the league is one of the few teams to have changed venues. In 2000 they moved from Texas to New York and changed their name to the New York Twin Towers. They moved back to Texas and reverted back to the original name in 2002.
The San Diego Samurais are another one of the bottom of the shit barrell teams of the RSL. Their only appeance in the post season was in 1998 due to the strike. The other teams that showed up to play that season were the Denver Dragons, Oakland Knights, Miami Pirates, Memphis Bluesox, and Torrance Tigers. The strike was over the proposed removal of beer drinking in the dugout during the game, which was deemed to be against the spirit of the Romstar League.
The Nebraska Jets are deemed as the most boring team in RSL history. The only real exposure they have gotten in recent years is when in 2001 they swept the New York Twin Towers and announcers kept talking about how "The Jets kept slamming the Twin Towers". In 1995 they almost made a huge upset in the championship game vs. the Chicago Fireballs being up by 12 runs in the top of the 6th, and only needing to survive the bottom half to take advantage of the 10 run rule. Chicago came back with 8 runs in the bottom of the 6th to ultimately win the game 19-12.
1987 Expansion Teams:
The Milwaukee Rockets entered the Romstar League in 1987, and most people dont even realize that they are still there. They have never made the playoffs ever, and suffer from some of the worse attendance problems in pro sports....even worse than the Montreal Expos. Every gimmick in the book was used to gain fan support and attendance, even "Free Oral Sex Night" was a complete flop. In 2001, the team got so jaded from lack of fan support that they no longer allow attendance. They have instead purchased 30,000 RealDolls and proped them up in the bleachers, at a cost of $240 million. They do however, have the realest looking fake fans.
The New York Comets made the playoffs only once, which came in 1988 only in their second year of existance. They were defeated by the Chicago Fireballs who were midway though their 14 year winning streak. However, the 1988 season will go down as one of the biggest chokes in sports history as the Comets had a perfect 15-0 regular season record against the Fireballs, only to lose every game against them in the playoffs.
The Detroit Arrows due to poor planning, the drafts for the expansion teams didnt go spread out from team to team like done normally, so the Detroit Arrows were last to choose their players from the eligible pool of players. The left over shit from the other teams proved to be some of the worst players in the history of the game. In 2005 they were on an amazing pace with a 90-25 record when the season was cancelled due to a strike by the Romstar League Umpire's Comission with 10 games remaining in the season.
1994 Expansion Teams:
The Memphis Bluesox, despite making the RSL pennant game twice, are one of the worst teams ever constructed. The team was made up with random drafts of the existing teams, and defying all odds, were given the worst players in the league. They made the playoffs in 1999 by having to play only the lower tiered teams during the season, and in 2000 by the ill fated one season "Lottery Playoff Spot", which was a ploy to draw fans.
The Vancouver Cobras are the most successful expansion team in Romstar history, and the second most successful team overall. They too were the product of a draft from other teams, except the Chicago Fireballs who threatened to leave the league if players were taken from their team. As of 2004, they had won 3 Romstar Pennants, and picked up one more in 2006.
1998 Expansion Team:
The Torrance Tigers are another horrible expansion team, only in existance because of a favor owed to an associate of the President of the Romstar League. The associate stated that he would release certain pictures of the RSL President if he were not granted a franchise. Due to the recent expansion, drafting from the league was not permitted, so there was an open tryout to make the team. In their first season, depite playing against the worst teams in the RSL, they posted a record of 2-123. |
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