For those that are interested we are now uploading NSI albums to lastfm.

Find us here: http://www.last.fm/label/NSI

Tied to a chair

‘Scream’ shouted the floating head
until the veins hanging
from its severed neck
burst in a monochromatic rainbow,
‘Scream’ it shouted, but quieter now
as the colour drained from its straining face
and onto the parquet floor,
I could feel it between my bare toes,
congealing as I wriggled them,
‘scream’, desperate now,
but as the head dropped defeated
into the basket of my feet,
I was preoccupied
with wonder at how
it had tied me to the chair.

A dream about flowers

With sharp gnashing teeth,
rabid spittle necter
dripping,
red roses white lilies,
blood and bandages,
tearing themselves from the soil
and walking on roots,
looking for knives
to cut off my feet
and put me on the shelf
in a vase.

Animalia Headroom

There’s a pig in my left ear
whispering profanities,
foul mouthed bastard pig
trying to make me repeat
its tirade of filth
as I talk to a colleague
about something mundane,
and I’m tempted,
the devil pig gets you like that,
but the rhinoceros in my right
is far more dangerous
with its talk of vantage points
and high calibre weaponry
but I refuse to acknowledge it
until it can provide
an exit strategy.

Brakes 7 – 2 Marlow

It’s a funny old game is football. While the boardroom is supposedly in turmoil the players put together one of the finest first half attacking performances it has been my pleasure to witness. Not a great deal happened in the opening 7 or 8 minutes and my prediction of a 2 -1 win for Brakes was a distinct possibility until Jamie Towers floated in a corner on 9 minutes that somebody knocked down, possibly a Marlow defender, to the feet of unmarked Guy Sanders who powered a shot into the back of the net that left the ‘keeper with no chance of stopping it. 1 – 0 Brakes.

On 16 minutes a ball into the box was accidentally handled by Jai Stanley with his back to the officials and shielded from the linesman which left Luke Corbett free to pick up the ball and hammer it home for 2 – 0 (I’ll check this when the match footage is available as the official report has a different version and it’s difficult to remember so many goals!). Corbett now has 5 goals in six games, the only game he didn’t score in was the opening day win over Aylesbury, discount that and it’s 5 goals in 5 games, a good run and long may it continue. On 19 minutes Jimmy Husband sent in an outswinger from the left that looked as though it had been over hit until Jamie Towers connected with the full power of Greyskull (‘He-Man and the Masters of the Universe’ in case you wondered) to leave the somewhat better padded Skeletor in goal the sad task of diving for the ball without any hope of success as the ball fired passed him at the speed of a very fast thing moving faster than it usually does (if that sentence isn’t good enough to win me a Pulitzer Prize then I don’t know what is). 3 – 0 Brakes.

At this point I should probably point out that the referee was the same chap who didn’t give a penalty at Stourbridge last season even though he saw it was a handball on the line, claiming afterwards that it was accidental, which is irrelevant as it should still have been a penalty. Anyway, there was not much he could do about any of the goals as they were pretty clear cut, some of his decisions were a bit iffy later in the game but nobody really cared as we were winning handsomely.

The fourth goal came when Marcus Jackson was rather cynically fouled and Towers sent the free kick directly on to the head of Adam Cooper who made no mistake and sent the ball into the open net as the keeper claimed that Cooper had used an elbow, which he hadn’t, so shut up ‘keeper.

With about half an hour gone Marlow got one back from a decent cross and header that left the Brakes defence all at sea but it wasn’t long before Luke Corbett flicked a ball through for Mark Bellingham to easily slot past the keeper for 5 – 1. A couple of minutes later Jai Stanley spilt the defence with an excellent pass to Jimmy Husband who fired in his shot so hard that he nearly took the bar off the posts for 6 – 1.

Marlow created very little in the first half and almost everything Brakes tried came off for them. Marlow are not a bad side but they came up against a team who were firing on all cylinders and determined to take the points with style.

The second half was a lot more difficult as the rains came and Marlow rallied to get another goal back for 6 – 2. Despite some good openings Brakes looked to be overplaying the ball around the box and, with Marlow battling hard to avoid total annihilation, the ball was no longer flying into the net as it had been in the first half.

Three substitutions were made with Corbett, Reynolds and Bellingham being replaced by Blake, Herlihy and Morgan. The return of Stuart Herlihy is great news as he was fantastic for us last season and adds some steel to an already solid midfield.

The final goal came after another great run down the right by Towers who put in perfect low cross for Josh Blake to steer into the net past the Marlow ‘keeper who must have been rather depressed at the regularity with which he had been picking the ball out of the back of the net.

It was a fantastic performance and augers well for the season ahead. I well remember last season when other teams where getting massive victories and we would play the same losing teams and scrape a 1 – 0, people where asking where were our huge victories? The answer to that was played out on the pitch, orchestrated by my man of the match, Jamie Towers, who was an incredibly potent force in attack but also tackled back more than I’ve seen in a long while and was really getting stuck in. There were great performances all over the pitch but, in my opinion, Towers really stood out.

With Bury losing Brakes are now 3 points clear at the top of the league with the only remaining 100% record. It’s early days still but hopefully we can carry the winning streak through to Saturday in the FA Cup against Evesham.

Last night I was driving from home to the Chinese take away and switched to remote control, arriving without knowing quite how I got there. I believe that this happens to quite a lot of drivers. The reason for my attention being elsewhere is below, I wrote it down when I got back home when usually, and often, I would just let such things evaporate. It’s the first one I’ve written for a very long time, maybe the last.


Afters

Hey Jackdaw, that shiny thing
is my eye,
take your beak out of my face
and your claw
is cutting my mouth,
Why am I lying in a forest?
Fly away,
Jackdaws love my big sphinx of quartz,
I remember that,
Pangram,
I don’t remember my telephone number,
I didn’t think I’d stay here,
not the forest, in my body,
forgetting, cell by cell,
everything I ever remembered,
it starts with a zero,
my telephone number,
shouldn’t everything be black,
a nothing, a void or even
clouds and Angels,
this is weird, it doesn’t hurt,
it’s just annoying, confusing,
and I don’t know who
I’m talking too,
the jackdaw isn’t listening,
it’s a crow, easy mistake
to make when you have
a beak in your eye,
I’d cry but my ducts are dry,
something with sharp teeth
ran off with my finger,
being buried must be horrifying.

From R to L - Rich, correct. Me, correct. Pete, fail.

For the first time we booked a holiday the night before we were due to leave and it went pretty smoothly. I was berated for taking lots of photographs of random people, but I do that, it's untreatable. I've loads and will bore you with them whenever possible. Here is the first - Your mission, guess where we went:

Wimborne 4 – 0 Brakes

I’m rather glad that I never went to the game as we were forced to field a weakened side and were hammered as a result. It appears that a couple of the goals were highly debatable, namely for an offside and a ball failing to actually cross the line, and a 2 – 0 loss would look better than 4 – 0, although a loss is a loss.

Wimborne won’t care though, as far as they are concerned they gave a side from a higher division a good beating, and if the position were reversed, I’d be saying exactly the same thing.

The players who have not been part of the usual squad who lined up on Saturday were:

Dean Pennells
Sean Brown
Sam Monocherry
Neil Stacey
Dean Aston
Carl Fellows
Morton Titterton (Asst Manager)
George Curry
Paul Eden (Coach)

The squad players who we will definitely see more of when the season starts were:

Richard Morris
Guy Sanders
Adam Cooper [Capt]
Steve Palmer (Subbed on 3)
Luke Corbett
Shay Morgan
Ryan Parisi

Steve Palmer suffered a knee injury on 3 minutes and was replaced by Morton Titterton. Ryan Parisi received a red card in the dying moments of the game, which, considering it was a friendly, was a very harsh decision by the young and inexperienced referee whose decision making skills still require a lot of honing.

Wimborne took the lead after six minutes through Dan Gibbons when he was set free down the right and allowed to cut into the penalty area and slam the ball into the back of the net past an exposed Richard Morris. Kevin James made it 2 – 0 with a bending shot. Richard Morris was subbed on 61 minutes for Dean Pennells who did well but had no chance for the third, a shot from Scott Joyce on 75 minutes that hit the underside of the bar and bounced away from the goal line without having crossed it.

A long clearance from the Wimborne substitute ‘keeper bounced high and well over Pennell’s head for the fourth in the last minute to make it 4-0. A nice kick in the teeth to finish off the game.

It can’t have been very enjoyable to watch or to play in but these are the perils of pre-season friendlies. The only sure fire way to avoid major disappointment is to attend the home games, where, for most, there is a much shorter journey home. That having been said, I might well go to Bishops Cleave on Tuesday as I liked their ground and the people were pretty friendly.

Because I know you've all been desperate to watch them!

Goals:


1-0


2-1


3-1

Bello! Bello! Bello!

Brakes 3 - 1 Solihull Moors

The teams ran out to some modern pop song that began with the words ‘Let’s get ready to rumble’, to which a Moors supporter was heard to say, ‘it’s only a friendly’. Later on he was heard to shout, ‘There’s no such thing as a friendly’ and, no doubt, was back to, ‘it’s only a friendly’ by full time.

After 97 seconds of the game I thought that we were going to be overrun by a classy Conference North Side, but by 124 seconds or so, we were 1 – 0 to the good with a goal from Bellingham. After 240 seconds it was 1 – 1 and, with the sun high in the sky and the heat almost unbearable for a pale skinned Welsh boy like myself, I was worried that the game might fizzle out before it got going. Lord knows why I though that though, perhaps it was the hundreds of midges that seemed to be emanating from the ear canals of Dodgy Dicky Edy and attaching themselves to the lenses of my glasses that put me off, or the ones that went in my hair and down the back of my t-shirt. It was quite odd as myself, Dodgy-D and Pete were the only ones who seemed to be being bothered by them. We must taste good.

It was good to see Marcus Jackson back in a Brakes shirt after his trial at Hinkley. I don’t think he’s actually signed for us as yet and, bearing in mind that he’s only been at any club for about a season, there’s no guarantee that he will, however, the signs are looking favourable. Marcus went off early after receiving an elbow to the hip that left him hobbling but hopefully it won’t be a long term injury.

Back to the game and Bellingham made it 2 – 1 and then, almost inevitably, 3 – 1 as he found himself free on the left, ran towards goal at the retreating keeper and, at exactly the right moment to shoot, ran a bit more, then a little bit more and then stuck it in the net.

Solihull Moors play 2 divisions above Brakes but, on today’s showing, it could very well have been the other way around with Brakes playing the ball along the ground as much as in the air and having plenty of chances to show for it. Josh Blake had a couple of opportunities, Shay Morgan carved through the Moors like a hot knife through butter and put his shot past the rooted keeper and inches wide of the upright and Sean Brown, who hasn’t signed for us as yet, ran almost the entire length of the pitch as though surrounded by a force field as several Moors players failed to get anywhere near him, only to put his shot wide. Steve Palmer broke the play up well and distributed simply but efficiently, Liam Reynolds seemed to be involved in almost everything as well.

All in all it was a well deserved win and I think it’s fair to say that this squad could be the best we’ve had in a long while.

It was only a few weeks ago that many, myself included, were bemoaning the loss of several key players to big spending Brackley, however, on what I’ve seen so far there is no cause for concern.

It was impossible for me to make the game without the use of my private helicopter, and as I don't have a private helicopter it was even more difficult. We won 4 - 0 and, as Brakes Videos have kindly made available the 4 goals there's not much more I need to say, except here they are:


Shay Morgan nets the first


Luke Corbett hammers home the second


Liam Reynolds adds a third


Mark Bellingham makes it Four

Wellingborough are a step 5 side (2 below Brakes) so a 4 - 0 win is not unexpected, but always welcome.

Today it was a game of two halves. It was also a game of sixteen sixteenths and twenty nine twenty ninths and many other fractions as well. Brakes started with Luke Corbett and Mark Bellingham up front, Liam Reynolds, Jai Stanley and Steve Palmer in Midfield, wingbacks were Jamie Towers on the right and James Husband on the left and the back three were Adam Cooper, Guy Sanders and Josh Blake (yes, Blake in defence, you heard right). Richard Morris was between the sticks. Subs: Dean Ashton, David Care, Sean Brown, Morton Titterton, Dean Pennells.

The programmes sold out before I got there but I did manage to get a copy. Looks good I reckon. 150 copies for a friendly is normally enough but I’m told that a chap from Newport bought 25, he must have really liked it.



So to the game. We matched them right up until the dying moments of half time when a looping cross was heading straight for the grateful arms of Morris, only for it to receive a slight deflection from the head of a Newport player, wrong footing Morris and ending up in the back of the net (or possibly from Adam Cooper - awaiting video evidence on this!). All the new players looked like good acquisitions (There were a couple of what might have been trialists there but I didn’t write down their names when they were announced, both of them came on and did reasonably well - Now added to the first paragraph).

The second half began pretty evenly but late on Newport had a good spell of pressure which looked as though it may end up in a goal but Brakes defence was solid and, with 5 minutes of the game remaining and excellent Towers cross was headed back across goal by Corbett, headed back by Blake and then headed into the top right corner past the outstretched hand of the ‘keeper by Guy Sanders for 1 – 1. A fair result on the balance of play.

There was a controversial moment when Liam Reynolds, who had been subbed in the first half for David Care, came back on and was then told to get off again. Unlike every pre-season friendly in the history of football ever, this one didn’t have rolling subs, although it seems that nobody had thought to tell Cadsy.

It was a pretty decent game overall. The view from the top of the Harbury Lane terracing was fab and Steve Wharton made brownies (that is not a euphemism of any sort), which were really rather good.

At this point, things are looking good for the season ahead.

-----

Whilst there probably isn't anybody here who is particulalry interested in all this, I post it anyway, it's better than nothing, isn't it?

41 today. Have I been having a mid-life crisis? Since I was about 12 I think, it should be over soon. Here’s the hat at the football again. The bloke to my right is a smurf (Not the wee R lad, the chap in the hat).