ukelele: My homage to quislibet

Battle Mime (

ukelele) wrote,
@ 2003-10-12 17:34:00

Entry tags:

mixalot

My homage to quislibet
All three of you who have not read quislibet's remarkable, ground-breaking addition to the corpus of Latin poetry, do so now.

And now that you have returned...

Malo ut illas maiores rotondasque sint
(I prefer that they are quite large and round)
et cum hospitium profiteor
(and when I proffer my hospitality)
me continere non possum
(I am not able to restrain myself)
in modum animalis me gero
(I conduct myself in the manner of an animal)
hic est infamia
(this is my disgrace)
volo ut apud me venias et
(I would like that you come to my house and)
inquam!
(I say!)
copulemus
(that we copulate)
inquam! inquam!
(I say! I say!)
Non disputo de arte amatoria
(I do not hold forth concerning a well-known publication about lust)
illa membra artificiosa ad ludendum facta sunt
(those artificial body parts are made for playing)
Cupio ut pingues sucosaeque sint
(I desire that they be fat and juicy)
hac causa necesse est tibi sucosos geminos invenire
(for this reason, it is necessary for you to find the juicy twins)
Mixaloto molestia est
(There is trouble for Mixalot)
flagitanti illae bullae partem
(who is earnestly demanding a part of that bubble)
Igitur symphonias specto quae adulescentibus placent
(Therefore I watch the musical performances which the teenagers enjoy)
observans illas feminas pictas ambulantes in modum scortorum
(watching these painted women walking after the manner of whores)
Tibi licet istas feminas tenere
(You may keep those women)
Habebo feminas meas tam sanas quam Flo-Io
(I will have my women as healthy as Flo-Jo)
Pingues adloquor, sorores animae: Cupio ut nos coniungamus
(I address the fat, sisters of the soul: I desire that we ally ourselves
Neque exsecrationes dicam neque vos feriam
(Neither will I utter imprecations nor will I smite you)
Sed necesse est mihi aperte dicere cum inquam "Volo futuere
(But it is necessary for me to speak openly when I say "I wish to have sexual intercourse)
donec inlucescit"
(until it grows light")
Dominola mea optimam rem agit [*]
(My mistress does the best thing)
Multi homines molles hoc carmen non diligent
(Many soft men will not esteem this song)
quia isti vexatores rem gerere et deserere malunt
(because those ruffians desire to conduct the thing and abandon it)
Et ego malo lascivire morarique,
(And I myself prefer to gambol and delay)
Quia longus et fortis sum
(Because I am long and strong)
et avidus tritum rei adhibere
(And eager to apply friction to the matter)
O dominae! (Quid est?) Dominae! (Quid est?)
(O ladies! (What is it?) Ladies! (What is it?))
Si cupitis ut in mea raeda pretiosissima volutemini,
(If you desire that you may roll about in my extremely expensive carriage)
terga vertete! clunes protrudete!
(Turn your hides! Make your buttocks protrude!)
Iuvenes albi etiam clamare debent!
(Even white youth ought to shout!)
Domina mea exstat a tergo!
(Baby got back!)

[*] Oh, come on. I had no more idea how to translate "[She's] got it goin' on" than did the original translator. As, however, the text did not give me the opportunity to sidestep the issue, I've chosen the vaguest noun and verb Latin has to offer, in hopes of capturing the spirit of the original.

(Post a new comment)

	76trombones 2003-10-12 03:18 pm UTC (link)
	Hee! (Reply to this)

	jadasc 2003-10-12 04:13 pm UTC (link)
	illa membra artificiosa ad ludendum facta sunt (those artificial body parts are made for playing) And so they may be. But I think the context is more "are suitable only on dolls". Can you get any closer? (Reply to this)(Thread)

	ukelele 2003-10-12 04:28 pm UTC (link)
	You would not believe the paucity of (attested) play-related words in Latin. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	twoeleven 2005-07-02 12:20 am UTC (link)
	while i'm not sure it can help with this specific lack, you may be interested in j n adams' the latin sexual vocabulary. all sorts of naughty words, culled from the finest roman bathrooms, and lovingly preserved for future generations. :) (Reply to this)(Parent)

	kirinn 2003-10-12 04:56 pm UTC (link)
	cackle That was wonderful. And thanks for the lack of title. It was more fun with it dawning gradually. (As you may surmise, I ignored your prior instructions, so the surprise was intact. I did go follow the link afterwards, though.) (Reply to this)

	quislibet 2003-10-12 05:30 pm UTC (link)
	I'm trying to think of something clever to say in Latin in reply here but it's been a long weekend. So I'll just say: Hooray! (Reply to this)(Thread)

	ukelele 2003-10-12 05:31 pm UTC (link)
	Glad you like it :). And I, too, have used up all my Latin for the weekend. Which is too bad, as I still need to pick out something for a handout tomorrow... (Reply to this)(Parent)

	ukelele 2003-10-12 05:32 pm UTC (link)
	Also, I dig your imagines. Woot. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	ajs_moppet 2005-04-05 03:15 am UTC (link)
	You don't know me, but I saw both your and quislibet's work--and it made me laugh more than I have in a very long time. An old Classics major friend of mine showed it to me--and it has quickly made the rounds with the old crew. Thank you! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	proth 2003-10-12 11:35 pm UTC (link)
	Bravo! (Reply to this)

	zmook 2003-10-13 02:22 pm UTC (link)
	Bravo! You may also want to know about this: http://www.yleradio1.fi/tiede/nuntii/ (Reply to this)(Thread)

	ukelele 2003-10-13 02:25 pm UTC (link)
	I do already :). But thanks for reminding me! When I learned about it, sound was borked, and now it's not... Hey, do you know Latin too? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	zmook 2003-10-13 02:31 pm UTC (link)
	Hey, do you know Latin too? Well, Latin was the indispensible language of science for centuries. Which is to say, no. :-/ None of my schools ever taught Latin. I did have a really good English teacher who got hardcore about Latin roots for English words, though. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	silicone parts were made for toys (Anonymous) 2003-10-14 09:13 am UTC (link)
	It's not directly referring to artificial body parts or silicone implants. It's more like saying "Silicone parts should not be used in the body, plastics were made to be used in toys." (Reply to this)(Thread)

	Re: silicone parts were made for toys ukelele 2003-10-14 09:31 am UTC (link)
	Yes, I know. See above about the crushing lack of toy-related words in Latin. Not a lot of "silicone" or "plastic" words, either. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	boojum 2003-10-15 12:55 am UTC (link)
	http://www.student.richmond.edu/~zp8we/greek%20rap.htm (I can't check its quality without descending into the hell of X fonts on an undocumented install of Linux on an oldish and rare laptop, but the back-translation looks reasonable.) (Reply to this)(Thread)

	ukelele 2003-10-15 06:16 am UTC (link)
	Yup, been there :). The Greek isn't terrible, but it's not nearly as good as quislibet's Latin. I have some issues with the word choice. On the other hand, I'm not nearly as well-qualified to judge Greek as Latin... (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Oh mah gawd, becky, look at her butt xaminmo 2003-10-15 08:27 am UTC (link)
	I applaude you, and gratuitously plagiarise your text; however, I do give credit by name for both yours and quislibet's portions. :) applause (Reply to this)

	*pours libations* melissacaritas 2003-10-15 11:44 am UTC (link)
	I stand in awe of you both. Y'all should be deified for this. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	Re: pours libations ukelele 2003-10-15 12:30 pm UTC (link)
	Oooh, deified. I like that idea. Does that give me the power to smite unruly Latin students? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: pours libations marajolie 2003-10-15 10:53 pm UTC (link)
	Hon, after that translation you can have the power to do anything you please. Smite away. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: pours libations quislibet 2003-10-16 10:43 am UTC (link)
	What else would be the point of deification? (Reply to this)(Parent)

	flemco 2003-10-23 06:36 pm UTC (link)
	You are a goddamned crackmonkey. As the creator of this travesty, that's a compliment. Now do the lyrics to The Humpty Dance. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	Humpty Dance (Anonymous) 2004-04-21 09:16 pm UTC (link)
	Can someone at least do the "I got busy in a Burger King bathroom" portion? LOL -- this is just AWESOME!!!! (Reply to this)(Parent)

(Anonymous)
2003-10-27 12:18 am UTC (link)

You know, if you played with the meter a bit, you could almost knock up a pretty good immitation of Catullus with this subject matter.

"et vino et sale et omnibus cachinis/non sine candida puella"

sort of reminded me of your

"Quia longus et fortis sum/et avidus tritum rei adhibere"

Also, what was the reason you went for "conduct" in (because those ruffians desire to conduct the thing and abandon it)? I would have though "vicere" or something close to 'conquest' was more to the spirit of the original?

Bloody orsm tho.

(Reply to this)

	ilcylic 2004-06-04 03:28 am UTC (link)
	I would like your permission to use your translation to make an audio recording. May I have it? I am simultaneously asking quislibet's permission. Afterwards, I will seek Sir Mix-a-lot's approval. -Ogre (Reply to this)(Thread)

	DOOOOOO EEEEEET! cathyn 2004-09-24 08:16 pm UTC (link)
	When you get this recorded, I SO want an mp3 of it. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	grendelkhan 2004-12-20 07:14 am UTC (link)
	Ditto on the audio recording bit. Though it doesn't look like the rhythm would match up. 'Course, I can't pronounce Latin, so how would I know? (Reply to this)(Parent)

	ukelele 2005-07-01 11:13 pm UTC (link)
	Huh, I never replied to this. If you're still interested in making a recording of this, I'd love to hear it :). (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	darkdepths 2005-11-26 01:50 pm UTC (link)
	Add my name to the mp3 list! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	maestroofzen 2005-03-09 06:01 pm UTC (link)
	latin is a dead language, as dead as it can be, first it killed the romans, and now it's killing sir mi(xalot) i kid, i kid. got a good laugh out of it. i took a year of latin in 7th grade, but i mostly remember some cuss words, and i'm not even sure if i'm using correct grammar when i insult people. (Reply to this)

	happy_heidi 2005-08-15 11:07 pm UTC (link)
	I know technically its a Greek myth, but the Romans would definately have known the story of Atalanta, a female athlete and runner. http://www.pantheon.org/articles/a/atalanta.html Perhaps she would be a good equivalent for Flo-Jo? http://espn.go.com/classic/biography/s/Griffith_Joyner_Florence.html (Reply to this)

	purple_apple 2005-11-17 08:36 pm UTC (link)
	Hahaha...funny how when you search random things online, you come upon most interesting things completely unrelated to what you were searching... Nice job, I am much amused. "Ruffians" is a great word. (Reply to this)

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