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Monday, December 4th, 2000
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11:12 pm - the word is out
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I told Bela, as you can see, she has been all over this place. Isn't that right Bela? Yet, we have made a pact to keep being honest about all that we think and feel in this journal for the rest of our time using it. Let's see if that happens! Ha!
Well, today I ate breakfast, and I went to work, and I did good work, and then I come home and read a book, and play a video game on my new playstation 2, a little Tony Hawk action, and then I eat some dinner, and i get a good night sleep. And that is my day! :)
current mood:  satisfied
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| Friday, November 24th, 2000
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11:59 pm - outta there!
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so here i am on the place back home to little Nyhavn. the plane is very quiet since it is night time, and i no one is making a peep except for me ticking away on this keyboard. the man next to me is asleep his mouth open with his head turned to the side, practically dripping his spit on my shoulder. they play this ridiculous movie a couple of hours ago, erin brockovitch, a stupid woman. my back is killing me in this seat, business class is barely bareable either, i don't know why they don't make all the seats bigger. i hear virgin atlantic has much bigger seats now, the rest of these shit airlines should take a lesson. bela and i said goodbye many times, it was sad, ah poor poor me. ha! i am looking forward to letting her know I've seen her diary.
i love the lift off from new york city though, really an incredible sight, especially as the sun is down. the city looks like some huge jewel of lights in a diamond shape. spectacular. and then when you think of all the transactions per second that happen across that dirty little island it boggles the mind. complicated spectacular dirty diamond, like bela a bit. oh, i am thinking too much.
current music: jet propulsion
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| Thursday, November 23rd, 2000
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8:55 am - guess who?
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bela has her own online journal. i am looking at other people's journals today and I find hers. ha! it has all her bad old eighties taste in music too, and other things which are completely crazy. check it out http://www.livejournal.com/users/itsalotlikelife
This is the stranger I have been dating.
I am not going to tell her until after i leave. I have a flight out tomorrow, so why spoil things, man! Ha! Bela speaks about continuing this after I leave, I am not so sure about that idea, I think I will wait to see how I feel about these weeks once I am back in my warm, comfortable apartment. I cannot predict the future, so.
current mood:  blah
current music: Sasha and John Digweed, Communication
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| Wednesday, November 22nd, 2000
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8:41 am - fuckedcompany
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so crazy this site fuckedcompany.com its open season on internet companies from angry employees. totally crazy, freedom of speech rears its ugly head here. one funny one though is aobut pets.com and their stupid mascot sock puppet, many ex-employees whining and cracking on this silly sock puppet. ha! please. i dont understand why companies use these kinds of mascots though, it makes no sense! doesn anyone buy something because a toy or a puppet told them to! maybe some do, but not me!
current mood: okay
current music: kid koala
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| Monday, November 20th, 2000
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1:29 am - fashionista
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okay so everything is fine with bela, we are having a good time together. my people want me to stay an extra week so I am just going to have fun here in the big apple. tonight jan and hans and i went out just the guys to this bar botanica, and we met some of the people that jan works with some guys from munich, we had a good time messing with this group of girls sitting by us who were little NYU students in fashion, we asked them what kind of clothes they look for in a man. one was kiind of cute and feisty and said she liked my jacket, well of course she did its agnes b, ha!
i try and get bela a better job by speaking with some people i know who work at a company here in new york, its a simple job something someone with no experience can do as a marketing assistant. she said she uses the web much so she should have no problem with it.
current mood: okay
current music: massive attack w/ liz frazier
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12:37 am - fashionista
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okay so everything is fine with bela, we are having a good time together. my people want me to stay an extra week so I am just going to have fun here in the big apple. tonight jan and hans and i went out just the guys to this bar botanica, and we met some of the people that jan works with some guys from munich, we had a good time messing with this group of girls sitting by us who were little NYU students in fashion, we asked them what kind of clothes they look for in a man. one was kiind of cute and feisty and said she liked my jacket, well of course she did its agnes b, ha!
i try and get bela a better job by speaking with some people i know who work at a company here in new york, its a simple job something someone with no experience can do as a marketing assistant. she said she uses the web much so she should have no problem with it.
current mood: okay
current music: massive attack w/ liz frazier
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| Thursday, November 16th, 2000
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10:30 am - NYC people
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i think anyone who lives this kind of lifestyle in new york city ends up being corrupted somehow by it. i have my suspicions about bela and what she does during her days, like i said, and then so i try to talk to her boss at work frerik the swiss guy and i ask him a little about her, and he ends up saying some rude things about what she must be like as a girfriend. i ask him, why do you say that? and he starts speaking of how she treats the customers at the store, the sex shop. oh, i can't believe it. it's not that i mind that she works at this kind of store it is more that she doesn't tell me at all. my heart feels awful then. I realize also then how much i care for this girl, and i have the urge to kill her boss, and also pin her up against the wall and give herhell for this situation, and then i also think what happened to her and i want to find out, maybe there is an explanation, and so I am confused about this. if she was someone i had not talked so intimately with about my life, and was just some girl i was just having fun with it would be wonderful she had this type of job. but she is not someone like that, who knows maybe she is, the situation for one reason or another makes me think again of my first girlfriend and how stupid acting she was so much of the time, always looking for attention, never thinking of others feelings, but a really fun girl, so hey it was okay.
bela and i met and talked, things spiraled to a funny place then were i liked her more, now i sit and have my coffee and feel a bit shell-shocked by the whole night. i can't say anything more.
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| Saturday, November 11th, 2000
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3:53 pm - no use sitting around
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My meetings went much better yesterday so I was in good spirits so I decide to go see Bela again since Jan is getting a bit tired of me sitting around the apartment, making long distance phone calls, trying to track down that ass Renaldo who has all my money and is living the high life on some fantastic island somewhere for all I can tell because he is impossible to find. So I bring some food over to Bela's because she is tired from work and I give her a foot massage, which she seems to really enjoy and that makes me feel happy to be such a good boy. Ha! She can tell I am lonely in New York a bit so she asks me many questions about my life and I end up telling her more about me, we are becoming good friends and lovers, I don't know whether we are very well suited, but I do enjoy the time I spend with her. I guess I should just live in the moment about all this, it is fun. Hum, though I notice she has a lot of distinctive moles on her body, big ones, at first I find them sexy, but now I wonder why she has so many? I have never seen so many moles, really, it is quite unusual. I wonder if they will become the kind of attribute you don't like after a time of dating someone. I remember this girl I dated, had this funny way of eating where she slurps her food, like a little baby, at first I found this cute and somewhat endearing, after a few weeks, I had to hold my hands not to wring her neck every time she ate like that. Why do you do that? I finally asked her, and she got so mad at me for noticing that she broke up with me. Ha! Sometimes I tend to say anything that is on my mind, this is good and bad, but sometimes what is on my mind is pure rubbish and I should just keep my mouth shut i think. I am sometimes even confused by my own reactions to people, and this doesn't get easier as I get older.
current mood: complacent
current music: Towa Tei -- Dub Nova
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| Friday, November 10th, 2000
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8:07 pm - a break today
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today I need a rest. i can get carried away with new things sometime so I think whats best for me now is too rest. i am feeling a little homesick to, and miss susanna and my normal day to day activities. i dont think i could ever live here, people are so rude, and arrogant, and what do they have to be arrogant about, some dirty city were the whole world shops, bad television? I am being unfair, my dream has always been to make enough money to move out of Copenhagen and get a place in the country, I am just not suited to too much city life sometimes. I like little birds and little cows that moo and sheep that bahhh. Ha!
current mood:  tired
current music: kruder & dorfmeister -- dj kicks
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| Thursday, November 9th, 2000
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7:51 pm - fun and frolic
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bela and her friend shasta took jan and i out clubbing last night, it was a blast!! i needed to really get loaded and boogie, I feel like I haven't done that in forever. bela dances like a snake really sexy, so it was even better than i could imagine, and just what i needed to lubricate my soul, ha! what I remember of it. we went to twilo club and it was house night, it was okay sound, although I maybe would want something a little more spaced like sasha and digweed, or even some downtempo or something, supposedly i just missed S&D, they always play there everyone said. ah well. this morning though i had to take care of bela, she got sick in the bathroom, it was sort of completely disgusting, of course this has happened before with crazy girls so I'm used to it, but i don't like having to take care of this kind of sick wretching girl necessarily. i would have left if not for the fact she was giggling as she was throwing up, she made me feel it was comedy, and i guess to her it was, which shows she takes things lightly and that is nice. a relief in fact! so i stayed and she brushed her teeth and then i went and got us some food, then we wrestled like little kids, and that was fun, being so silly like bad children.
current mood:  bouncy
current music: kozo -- recycler
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| Wednesday, November 8th, 2000
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7:30 pm - velvet
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it seems like many dotcoms here in NYC are getting cautious, especially toward companies they haven't worked with before. the meetings aren't going as well as I would want, people are more worried about what sort of safety precautions there are if our technology fails, and not interested in the wonderful new technology. basicly they are not interested, necessarily, in being first to market, in innovating anymore, and are more concerned with covering their asses. i get so mad that so many dotcoms failed this summer, it makes me sick, they give everyone involved a bad name. anyway, but i did my best, and i managed to please my people enough, they are well aware of the climate out here now, and if i just get enough contacts, that will suffice for now, until after the new year and people start to get some balls again. so bela and i went out to eat at this pub, the beer here, even the good beer is not so good, they are all up on the micro-brew but frankly to me it tastes like sugar water or something, not very good. but it was better than some wine and cheese bar i was dragged to the other night called Von, I don't like places like that. So, Bela and I had a nice chat about our lives again, she is starting to talk to me more, and i see she is a very hard sort of girl, blunt, but also with a sensitive streak, which is very suited to me i think. she also doesn't need to talk about herself all the time like susanna, that girl and i were always competing for airtime, this bela knows how to listen. i told her about some things that were sort of private i suppose because i haven't really had anyone to talk to about things in a while, we sat on the roof of her apartment and talked while watching the traffic bump and grind below. then we did the same, ha! her apartment is something like out of a fairytale, one with witches, very strange, she had this huge velvet wall hanging on her exposed brick south wall of this exotic lady and her cat, it reminded me of art nouveau style, like what I see in Barcelona, but they never make that kind of style of thing on black velvet I don't think. In any case, it was not too shabby, a little moody, but okay, I checked her drug cabinet like I always do with girls because of Helena, you can never be too sure, is my attitude about that type of thing. Also the girl's job-- I am still unclear about it and thought it might be drugs-- she spends like crazy and she does not talk about her work, so I am having my suspicions.
So we made love then, she had this funny mirror on the ceiling I felt like I was in some porno, which I liked of course, she smelled like coconut oil, it was quite pleasing, although I could see her cat watched during the ceremony, and that is always distracting.
current mood: okay
current music: coldcut
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| Sunday, November 5th, 2000
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8:31 pm - pennies from heaven
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well jan's roomate who did not go as clown for halloween but as hercules came to atlantic city to so it wasn't a foursome but a fivesome, ah well it was okay anyway. i think i would have to be more a local to like atlantic city though it is a dirty place full of old people in bad suits and disgusting nylon dresses. we had fun though. bela, as it turns out was a pro at gambling, and managed to make us enough money to get a really nice suite for both nights. she is a funny girl. she seems innocent but i get the feeling she is not. i like her though because she is smart. we had a chance to be alone this morning before we all hopped in the car to go back to the city, she was wearing this nice pink sweater not the black gown she was wearing all weekend that made her look like a drag queen, and she had a sleepy morning face that was quite cute. i wonder what she thinks of me. she seems to hide her feelings a great deal and instead tells jokes all the time.
current mood: sleepy
current music: sneaker pimps
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| Thursday, November 2nd, 2000
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9:05 pm - swiss miss
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i called bela today at her work number, some asshole swiss guy answered and gives me the third degree about why i am calling. so when bela gets on i ask who it was and she says its her boss. "why is he so concerned about who is calling you," i ask and she just laughs in this secret-like way, and says "he's this swiss asshole he thinks he owns the world." Ah ok I say, but still it makes no sense. Swiss guys can be a bit snotty but really, this guy was really asking me a lot of questions. I drop it though because I don't know Bela that well, and don't want to come accross as some kind of controlling type of guy. Or I don't want to seem complicated like susanna, called me, for no reason i might add. today jan and i went to see some internet type art today at this gallery in soho called artists space, i don't get much of it because it serves no purpose, i believe everuthing on internet should have some sort of function, so it was not my thing. but some artist had put clear plastic balls on the floor as part of their, i dont know, "art peice," funny thing though was some children were kicking them around like it was football, and then some big dumb looking man stepped on two just for fun i suppose, and no one did anything. i don't really like art scene things, but i do like when people act stupid in public. ha! jan knew some of the people there so i had to look interested as he made his circles amongst the crowd. i was going to ask bela to get a drink after she gets off work, but she sounded a bit frustrated, i didn't want to get rejected tonight. maybe jan and i can go somewhere. i dont have a meeting for work until 12 noon tomorrow. susanna emailed me actually about her breakup saying she was sorry and hoped i was well, its funny i missed her a little when i got it, we usually had a date every week, i guess people miss what they've grown accustomed too.
current mood: horny
current music: cassius
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| Wednesday, November 1st, 2000
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4:55 pm - bela du jour
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well, well dear reader, rolf had not such a bad halloween after all. i met this girl, a crazy girl, who looks like a cross between isabella rosselini and sporty spice. she was my nurse for the night, that was her costume. we had a fine time. she, jan, her friend shasta and i have plans to go to atlantic city for the coming weekend so things are quite fun and wild now. the girl wears a lot of black, maybe a bit too much but it is a change for me, and her job is dubious, she did not quite explain it to me, but if anything it sounds quite interesting. she has a very sharp sense of humor, so she seems very smart, and lovely exotic green eyes. her name is bela, and she is quite so.
current mood:  curious
current music: sasha & digweed
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| Tuesday, October 31st, 2000
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4:05 pm - dracula
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jan is living in an even nicer place than he was before, he's snagged a phat loft, as they would say here, ha! its on the west side of town. i have a room to myself to lounge about. i don't like his roomate hans so much, he's one of those danish guys who is always talking stupid things about himself, like how he makes so much money, and how he dated some model for a while, really ridiculous stuff. tonight we are all going out though and i will make the best of it, it is halloween! not that i care about that, but it should be fun. better than that hip hop club we went to last night were one girl was so hard and mean to me i felt like staying in the bathroom for the rest of the night. sometimes i like those kinds of girls though, if they are particularly good looking, their attitude can give me a rush.
the first seminar went well one vc said i was very smart to compare the development of new internet technologies to the growth of the human brain at childhood, how it needs to be nurtured and fed like anything else, but fed not with food but with dollars! ha! i did not say that outright, i just hinted at it. my people will be pleased i think, for now we will wait and see.
we are going out to some costume store now, Jan wants to be a robot, he is always so hip. hans i dont know, i hope he ends up dressing as a clown. me, i think i'll go as dracula, something mysterious and gentlemanly of course, who also sucks blood!
current mood: accomplished
current music: coltrane
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| Tuesday, October 24th, 2000
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8:18 am - the big apple
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well, at long last i can leave the misery of my shitty dating life behind and step on a plane to new york city. my company has me giving a seminar on new applications for wireless technology to a bunch of fortune 500 clients, and i get a cool two weeks in that lovely decadent city. last time i went there i stayed with my friend Jan from school, he teaches graphic design, and last time i was there he was doing work for sony music and the like so we ended up going to a ton of music industry parties which were quite fun. i swear i hooked up with mariah carey but it could have been an imposter, i'm not complaining though. i am getting a bit worried about my money situation i loaned a huge amount to my ex-friend renaldo a while back, before he trashed my apartment. well i haven't heard from the loser since that happened, so I called our mutual friend Simone and she said she hasn't heard from him either. basicly if he doesn't pay me back in two weeks, I will be cash-strapped unbelievably enough, that also means I'd have to watch my dollars in New York which would be a real shame. When i see him again, i sware I'm going to give him a big kick in the head.
current mood:  aggravated
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| Monday, October 23rd, 2000
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7:50 pm - oh susanna
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Susanna, the girl I have depended on the longest, since we met in that silly weiner shack one beautiful summer day, has decided she can't speak to me anymore. why? because she is trying to uncomplicate her life. so i asked her, "what susanna, has dating eight men a week gotten to be too much for you?" of course that got her upset and she had to tell me it was five men, ah only five susanna. "no" she says, in that slightly snobbish low voice i used to fantasize having phone sex with, "its not the number of men, its the kind of man. I want to date less complicated men." Oh, I see... I said. I didn't give her the justification of explaining to me how I am complicated as that would have probably pleased some part of her healthy-sized ego- to detail to me my deficiencies, complications. I just hung up with her.
I am the simplest man on the planet I think. I like to eat well, sleep well, and make love well. I don't ask for commitment, I don't care about that, I laugh a lot, even at their stupid jokes, and I tell them they are pretty and I buy them nice things. What is complicated about me?
current mood: annoyed
current music: Moby
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| Saturday, October 21st, 2000
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11:00 am - what you see is not what you get
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Well martina finally rewarded me with her presence this friday again after i called her at least four times this week. i dont normally do that, don't get me wrong, but she kept telling me to call back later, and so i did. on friday she seems a bit less comfortable than she did the preceding week, and she looks tired. Deep circles under eyes, pale complexion.. so I ask her what's wrong? Well a DIVORCE is what's wrong, turns out she is in the middle of a painful divorce with her ex-husband who is an alchoholic, but who still wants rights to their child, a sweet little two year old girl. Can you believe that? Here I was thinking I was on a date with this woman who is practically a little girl, and it turns out she has a little girl. So Martina ends up crying, right in the middle of the restaurant, I end up consoling her, we leave and skip dinner (at least 85 down the drain then), and I end up kissing her on her doorstep because I don't know how to act towards a woman feeling hysterical. Stupid move, Rolf! I say now. Well I will have to tell her, in truth I am doing her a favor-- a woman in her position would be better off with a good male friend.
current mood:  sad
current music: Moby
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| Saturday, October 14th, 2000
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5:30 am - mr. lover lover
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hello, yes it has been a while. But things are going good for me. i just bought a new nokia phone and have been having fun wasting my day by transferring all my numbers from my old eriksson into this fine wap-enabled machine. You might ask why it would take me all day, well its because i have so many numbers. I went on a date last night with Martina finally, she looks like a little girl. Her hands are so tiny. Martina is the kind of woman you could see pumping out some sprogs. She studied art history in school and now has a steady career as a marketing associate for a local software company. she likes to iceskate, and so she has vey strong legs too. No, but really, I feel warm and comfortable with her, and I have great urges to touch the little blonde hairs on the back of her neck, right underneath her ponytail. But I will wait, she is a good girl.
current mood: amused
current music: Radiohead
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| Sunday, September 17th, 2000
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10:58 pm - bad night
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I am not feeling so good, got back to Copenhagen this morning and have slept all day. I get in from the airport and it is an ugly day, gray and damp. my whole body itches from too many late nights. I hate that feeling. My spanish friend Renaldo has been using the place the last few days and left it completely ruined, and as i am picking up some beer bottles that have rolled under the coffee table, i find a fine slit in my white leather sofa. the asshole has money though, so i figure i can make him pay for it. so i change the sheets on my bed, and finally rest for some sleep, but i have this awful dream. a real torture of one. it starts like this: i am on this cruise ship somewhere in the meditteranean, real south style, italian and greek party people, tan and oiled, silk and gucci, gold chains and thongs. i am having a blast, eating grapes out from between this fantastic ladies' breasts, while i watch over her shoulder a row of girls in fluerescant bikinis, one by one dive into the pool. all of a sudden her breasts turn into a furry bull's neck, and i am riding on the back of a bull down the streets of madrid, i try and stop the bull from going to fast by grabbing his horns, but the horns are too slippery and i cant grab a hold, so i cling to his cheeks instead and i can hear his heavy breathing and it sounds like a sportscar revving its engine. infront of me now there is a crowd and i see a little girl holding a baby wrapped in a pashmina scarf, i try and pull the bulls head back.. No! No! I scream.. but he digs his head down and gores right through the girl and her baby, as he pulls back blood trails come from his horn. All of a sudden everything is black. I am on a dark street near this bar i used to hang out at while i was in school in norway. I see a girl walking away down the street. She is just a shadow. I run after her, yelling to stop. she turns, and i see her face, it is my old girlfriend Adrianna, part of her head is gorged out, and filled with metal shrapnel and glass, she says she's had a car accident and can I help her. i try and pick the shards from her head, but as i am pulling they turn into snakes and start biting me, i dont know what to do, and i am grabbing them, and trying to control them, she is crying, and then i wake up. it was absolutely awful.
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