Now, I'll agree that "The Dark Knight" invokes a lot of post-9/11 imagery. And that the cell phone-sonar sequence that comes late in the game is a pretty clear allegory of government wiretap strategies.
But here's how I can prove Batman is not intended as a W. stand-in:
At the end of "The Dark Knight," Batman catches the Joker.
Besides, if Warner Bros. REALLY intended to make a "W. is Batman" movie ... they would have had him invade Metropolis.
I can envision a key sequence talking place in the Batcave that goes something like this:
ALFRED THE BUTLER: "Good news, Master Wayne! They've got the Joker cornered! He was last seen at the Gotham Seaport ..."
BATMAN: "Never mind that, Alfred. It's time to take down Lex Luthor."
ALFRED: "But ... but ... Luthor has been broke for years. He SAYS he has an army of killer robots, but nobody believes him. If you want, I can call up Superman, and he can use his X-Ray vision to make 100 percent sure of that."
BATMAN: "Hogwash! I have all the proof I need right here in this document."
ALFRED: "That's not a CIA report, Master Wayne, that's an actual Superman comic book. It's made up."
BATMAN: "You're either with me, or against me Alfred. I'll go it alone if I have to."
ALFRED: "But why Lex Luthor?"
BATMAN: "We know it was Luthor who blew up Gotham Hospital. We found his calling card among the debris at ground zero."
ALFRED: "Uh ... I thought they found a Joker card at ground zero."
BATMAN: "Right! Lex Luthor is a known poker player! At his last game he must have stolen one of those Joker cards one of his lowlife friends discarded. I'll bet anything Luthor has been in cahoots with the Joker's goons. Everyone knows there's a direct link between Lex Luthor and the Joker."
ALFRED: "Sir, I don't recall anyone ever seriously suggesting that Lex Luthor and the Joker are in league together."
BATMAN: "Lex Luthor, the Joker and Dr. Octopus form an Axis of Evil!"
ALFRED: "Dr. Octopus is from Marvel Comics, sir, that's not even our company. But getting back to the crime scene evidence -- you do know the Joker is called the Joker because he leaves Joker cards at the scene of the crime."
BATMAN: "Alfred, I can't waste time chasing the Joker's shadow. I'm sure with a little effort I can soon get Luthor in my sights."
ALFRED: "But we know where the Joker is! He's here in Gotham City! Why waste untold time and resources in Metropolis when we can catch the known threat before his influence grows and he recruits more thugs!"
BATMAN: "Send Robin to do it. Tell him to take the Joker dead or alive!"
ALFRED: "There is no Robin in this movie, sir."
BATMAN: "Well, dead or alive, what's the difference, the Joker will go away eventually. I'm off to invade Metropolis now. I'll let you know when the mission's accomplished!"
ALFRED: "Uh boy ..."
BATMAN: "Oh, by the way, Alfred, that reminds me. I need you to help out the cause until I'm done. Could you go shopping for me?"
ALFRED: "Shopping?"
BATMAN: "Yeah. Pick out a new wardrobe for me and put it on my Gotham Express card. And here's an extra $300 so you can get something nice for yourself."
Need to brush up on your Indiana Jones lore before "Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" cracks into theaters next week?
Check out my Indiana Jones A-Z Guide ... and to round out the experience, I even attached a clip of "Best of" Indy moments set to John Williams' "Raiders March."
I get e-mails every now and then from friends and well-wishers that I'm not updating the livejournal Web log (or "blog") enough ... what, two posts between October and now isn't good enough for ya? Sheesh!
Anywhoo, there's been breakthrough in how my work's Web log (or "blog") is being publicized on my newspaper's Web site ... so I'm going to be challenging myself to post on it as often as I can. Mostly sports stuff, out of necessity, but I'll drop a lotta the usual pop culture tidbits too ... and more than occasionally a nifty song and dance number.
Yes, Gregory Hardy ... aspiring media gadfly ... just don't tell my evil twin brother, Orville ... who has his own Facebook page, doncha know ...
How much is too much for an average married guy in his 30s to spend on a haircut in 2007?
I just dropped $36 for a clean-up. That's $30 for shampoo and cut, $6 tip.
No coloring, or frosting, or purchases of bottles of goop.
No special occasion like a wedding or a new job or a class reunion to attend. I was just feeling a little scruffier than what you see in the attached cartoon icon. And I got it cut a little shorter than what you see in the cartoon icon. But not buzz-cut short.
What happened was my wife's favorite stylist just moved from the mall haircut shop to a new boutique in a revitalized area of downtown. So in my mind, it was worth it to indirectly invest in civic improvements, and help some entrepreneurs get on their feet.
Plus, what he's good at is thinning out what's on the top. Not just shortening the length, but setting things up so that I won't look like Beavis' 'do if I go too long until my next cut.
Here's the best thing about being a Child of the '80s during a period when everything in pop culture cribs off stuff from the '80s.
This video ("Boyz" by M.I.A.) honest to goodness looks and sounds like a video that came out in 1983. OK, I think in one or two spots you can see a cell phone or an MP3 player. But otherwise, those wacky special effects look like something that could have been introduced by Martha Quinn.
"The Simpsons Movie" marks the sixth character for which the comic genius Albert Brooks has provided a vocalization. (Always credited as 'A. Brooks'.)
(And when I call Albert Brooks a genius, I'm not exaggerating. His given name, after all, is Albert Einstein. Seriously.)
Anyway, you know me ... once I find six of something, I've got to rank them from best to worst! Here we go:
1. Hank Scorpio, "You Only Move Twice" (Season 8)
Here, the comic genius is an evil genius. As in a James Bond-type villain bent on world domination. And while it would be wonderful to bring back Scorpio time and again, it's probably for the best that we've only met him once. Part of the comedic point of the episode is that Homer never figures out that his new boss requires his nuclear engineering expertise in order to enslave the free world. Even Homer can only play oblivious to fireball explosions for so long.
2. Tab Spangler, "The Heartbroke Kid" (Season 16)
Evidence that the show is still producing hilarious episodes. When Bart gets obese, he's sent to a fat camp that's run by Spangler -- an intense drill sergeant of a guy who loves to harness the power of signs that feature motivational acronyms. Too bad the acronyms rarely match the mottos he attaches to them.
3. Brad Goodman, "Bart's Inner Child" (Season 5)
Funny thing about this episode. There are so many classic bits crammed in here. Homer buys a used "trabopaline" from Krusty ... Kent Brockman's bleeped commentary concerning the town's "Do as You Feel Festival" ... the gag near the end where Homer and Bart are trying to escape in parade float ("They're very slowly getting away!" Skinner dryly observes). But there's very little that Goodman does that's funny on his own. So let's call this performance a salute to Brooks' prowess as a straight man. You can't have a punchline without the setup. It's comedy physics, dammit!
4. Jacques, "Life in the Fast Lane" (Season 1)
Marge is tempted by the fruit of another. The fruit in this case, a bowling ball rolled out by the romantic stranger Jacques. Funny that Brooks pulls out a French accent here. After all, as Scorpio, Brooks once asked Homer, "What's your least favorite country -- Italy or France?" After Homer volunteers, "France," Scorpio bemusedly considers, "Nobody ever says Italy."
P.S. Sorry that I can't find any Jacques footage ... only the closing scene from this episode. Marge makes her choice, stands by her man, and mimics the closing scene of "An Officer and a Gentleman." Classic.
5. Russ Cargill, "The Simpsons Movie" (July 2007)
My main reservation about Cargill is that he's not as fully realized a character as the others. Mostly, he's around to keep the plot running (such as making sure President Schwarzenegger knows which doomsday scenario to select). I thought it was funny that Cargill admitted that he owns the company that made the dome that was dropped on Springfield. I was laughing my ass off in the theater when Cargill explained his "10,000 tough guys/10,000 soft guys" strategy. But overall for this character, I more enjoyed the fact that Albert Brooks provided the voice than I liked the character itself.
6. Cowboy Bob, "The Call of the Simpsons" (Season 1)
Cowboy Bob takes up the rear, mainly because he's only featured in the opening segment of this episode. Homer is in the throes of making an impulse buy for a recreational vehicle, and used RV salesman Cowboy Bob is all to happy to aid and abbet. It's a subtle, low-key voice performance. Lacks the urgency and intensity of the others. But he succeeds in giving Homer the hard sell and driving off the lot with an overripe lemon. Funniest bit: When Bob is running Homer's credit check, and a red lamp siren mounted atop his computer monitor starts wailing and flashing. "Is that a good siren?" Homer asks. "You ever known a siren to be good?" Bob counters. Not much else to go on, but if Cowboy Bob were made part of the Springfield regulars, I wouldn't complain.
And now ... I leave you with this exchange between Homer and Hank Scorpio ... lean back in your hammock and enjoy ...
Hank: Uh, hi, Homer. What can I do for you? Homer: Sir, I need to know where I can get some business hammocks. Hank: Hammocks? My goodness, what an idea. Why didn't I think of that? Hammocks! Homer, there's four places. There's the Hammock Hut, that's on Third. Homer: Uh-huh. Hank: There's Hammocks-R-Us, that's on Third too. You got Put-Your-Butt-There? Homer: Mm-Hmm. Hank: That's on Third. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot... Matter of fact, they're all in the same complex: It's the hammock complex on Third. Homer: Oh, the hammock district. Hank: That's right.
The verdict from the Springfield Multiplex -- thumbs up for "The Simpsons Movie."
Is it the funniest movie I've ever seen in my life? Eh, no. But it will make you laugh out loud. If you're a fan of the TV show, you'll be swept up in the story.
The most important thing about the movie is that it definitively proves that the writers can come up with a story that fits the scale of the big screen. I'm eager for more Simpsons movies -- because basically from here out, the sky's the limit.
Here are four ideas I would pitch for Simpsons sequels:
[] Homer and the brood blast off across the universe to battle Kang and Kodos on their home planet. But the family gets captured and has to be rescued by the usual Springfield subjects. You know Monty Burns has a spaceship hiding somewhere. Multiplex sound systems were designed for high cosmic adventure.
[] "Krusty: The Movie." A practical joke on his TV show goes wrong, and Springfield has to battle evil circus freaks from another dimension. The tag line: "This summer: Send in the clowns!"
[] A full-bore R-rated ultimate Halloween episode. Give us gruesome cartoon fangoria!
[] My favorite: Do a Simpsons family adventure were Maggie is the main rabble-rousing 10-year-old. Lisa would be 18, Bart 20, and everyone else in Springfield a little worse for wear. Awesome opportunity to introduce new characters who would be Maggie's friends. The tag line: "I'm Maggie Simpson. Who the hell are you?"
(Note: Even though this plot would take place with everyone advanced 10 years in age, this doesn't have to take place in the "future." Here's my idea: Say this movie takes comes out in/takes place in 2010. The movie starts at the tail end of some random "Simpsons" episode that aired in 2000. But continue the action, and we see that the family immediately bumps into Professor Frink, who unleashes a time ray that kicks-starts the time continuum. "I'm sorry to report that everyone can't be the same age forever anymore. We will now start advancing in age, and thus, surely die. Ayoim!" After a little time-shift montage, we've caught up on the action.)
One final note: Every Simpsons movie, for continuity's sake, should begin with an "Itchy and Scratchy" movie. That could be their continuing "James Bond/opening 10 minutes of action" gimmick.
I was just recalling how one day on a 1996 visit to Belgium I was sitting around someone's apartment on a couch, watching some European permutation of MTV when they showed a video of a band covering the Bee Gees' "How Deep is Your Love" ... but the group was tied up in chairs, being tortured by some Cruella De Vil-type hag. Flashforward to 2007, and I wondered -- is it possible that video can be revistited on YouTube?
The story of the Windsors and the death of Lady Di is trivial and tangential to my American life. The plot isn't about unveiling some conspiracy theory. There are no surprising revelations of plot; we know from the start how the movie will end. The only revelations we get are those of the characters' interior emotional motivations. And the entire movie is presented in reserved and cautious tones. No flourishes or flash. This isn't breathless melodrama.
Yet the movie had me hooked at every turn from beginning to end. What fascinating storytelling. Amazing.
At Oscar time, all anyone could talk about was what a slam dunk it was for Helen Mirren to win for best actress. And no doubt, she was the perfect choice. Well, you know what else? I wonder if this isn't a slightly better overall movie than "The Departed."
Let's all work together ... before someone gets hurt
[May. 16th, 2007|02:01 am]
An important political public service announcement ... I think unions are going to play a large role in the 2008 election, and it's time their voices were heard.
Thanks to Cementhead for sharing this NSFW exercise.
"28 Weeks Later" is rated R (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian). Rabid zombies feast on living flesh, which causes their potential victims to utter an occasional obscenity.
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