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[Sep. 1st, 2008|10:34 pm] |
A friday of new friends and saying goodbye to old ones - i miss louis already despite the fact that i'll hardly seen him less now then I did before. just knowing he won't be living round the corner anymore is a sad thing.
60th and 29th birthdays
i could write more about the weekend but i think only one word could describe it's effects - <B>EXHAUSTED</B> |
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[Sep. 1st, 2008|12:03 am] |
 Poll #1251438 omg shoes
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: Alldo i buy these? |
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[Aug. 28th, 2008|11:04 pm] |
so that was wierd.
there i am sitting there painting my nails when i turn round to my laptop which is sitting on the sofa behind me and theres a message from someone who's not on my msn friend list. turns out it was jay.
seriously, what does he want? |
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[Aug. 27th, 2008|02:27 pm] |
so i spoke with louis yesterday. I bumped into him on the street. he was walking back from his flat after his lunch break, back to work. he scuttled across the flow of pedestrians and we chatted for a few moments about a job interview he was waiting to hear from last time I saw him and about him leaving brighton. it's iminent - very iminent.
he said he'd e-mail me re. his leaving party on friday and then loped off to work.
it got me thinking about how much i'm going to miss him. I don't think i mean as much to him as he means to me. he is so very special to me. I did write up a long post about why he's so important but i found myself just re-counting our whole history which i don't think anyone really wants to be bored with.
i also got angry about the democratic convention i saw a bit of on the news. i'm so glad i ahve nothing to do with american 'politics'. grrr |
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[Aug. 26th, 2008|08:39 pm] |
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i just spent like 2 1/2 hours on and off making this post and then lost it :( but it was in the pursuit of pizza so ... |
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[Aug. 25th, 2008|12:08 pm] |
ok crisis of confidence over ... well not over but either it's abated a little (which is good) or I've reconcilled myself to my repellency (which is bad!)
working bank holiday which seems just awfully mean! It's really busy. I don't know if it's that we're understaffed, or if just lots more people then expected are calling in. it's been bobbing around the 60% service level (whoa 54%!), which is bad, let alone for a call centre not servicing the filthy hoipolloi!
but I do have tomorrow off :) though it's going to be spent find either a top to go with a skirt or a dress for a little black dress themed hen night. and q possibly a dress for the wedding itself, as well as general housework and getting in a LOT of sleep - I am exhaused atm!
i wonder if it's the weather that's making me blue. now I know i am less bouncy in the winter, i wouldn't call it full blown SAD but the gloom does affect my moods. But you expect that in winter. this summer has been fucking miserable! more like autumn with just a handful of fullblown summery days. And I really wanted to make up for lost time with last summer being pretty poor weather wise and me not being in brighton.
it's making me look forward to going to spain in a month. I'm not entirely sure what the weather is like this time of year. temperatures mean nothing to me, I need it described in terms of what clothing! |
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[Aug. 25th, 2008|12:54 am] |
i just finished watching pretty woman (well not just. I then washed up!) and, as usual after watching any 'chick flick' i got the blues. seriously, you think girly films you think of watching them with your single girls, when you've been dumped or your guy's been a cock. it's basically a celebration of singledom. but why? I watch them, the girl always gets the dream guy and then i'm just fucking blue.
and feminism then gets me more depressed. why am I down on being single? why do I want a guy? blah blah blah. am clearly a bad female.
and the appalling coincidence that the last 3 guys i've had daliances with are all leaving brighton for places at least 50miles away has just struck me in the most hidious way!!! I am obv repellent! And for illustrations sake!
View Larger Map |
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[Aug. 22nd, 2008|03:20 pm] |
i am tired today.
i don't really have anything to post today.
jay still says hello to me when he could just blank me. i wish he would actually. |
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[Aug. 21st, 2008|05:09 pm] |
i have a crush on a guy ... i dreamt!
of course it now being 5pm and me dreaming this last night I've forgotten a lot of the details of the dream. but here goes.
We were on some kind of ramble/hike/scramble and this guy joined us at some point. Then we ended up at his flat.which was split across many levels. climbing the stairs I saw a bedroom. it had v high ceilings and one wall was painted red and had lots of prints in frames on it. the bed was like one of those old victorian radiators, except pristine white and extra wide like a double bed and with a duvet over it. so I asked him kind of warily if that was his room and he said no his room had panoramic windows with a veiw of the sea. anyway we went into the living room and there seemed to be some kind of family gathering going on. all gran and aunty types drinking tea, eating biscuits and gossiping. so I'm over by the window. and it's looking out on to a shoreham type seafront. a bit scraggy and industrial but still charming. I'm looking at the pictures on the cupboards by the window and he comes up behind me and puts his arms round me which is so nice and cosy and friendly and comfortable and I rest my head back on his shoulder and we talk about the pics. and one time I look back to him and we do that looking into each others eyes for a second and the he kisses me. not like making out buty a slow peck on the lips.
I don't remember dreaming anymre but it was like a first date that went really well or whatever! I was thinking about him all morning so I felt i had to name him - rob. Yes I am incredibly sad! |
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[Aug. 19th, 2008|10:13 pm] |
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1. if you were a dictator/autocratic monach what rules would you implement?
at work today it was hectic. I had a lot of things to chase up from yesterday so pretty much spent the whole day in wrap - it's not going to look good on my stats.
but on the upside I also managed to get one pre-paid hotel and 2 points for payments - which I'm goaled on so I'm q proud of myself! Shame my manager's on holidays so I can't make sure she knows about it!
anyway I have the next two days off which is nice, esp as thursday is supposedly going to beautifully sunny. |
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[Aug. 13th, 2008|10:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  romantic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the hum of silence from the call floor | ] |
it seems that the night shift brings out the romantic card holders.
both last night and tonight I've had card members calling up regarding romantic weekends for thier girlfriends that just left me humphing and wishing for a rich romantic boy in my life.
I guess if you've got money romance is easier. requires less thought. you can just call up a poor schmuck like me or one of my colleagues and we'll pull together a nice hotel package, business class flights, and pass you over to lifestyle to arrange romantic meals and basically anything thier addled minds can think of (within the boundries of legal, ethical moral, other then that we'll do it!)
I was thinking about what romance means to me. It's not big gestures at all (though it wouldn't go amiss!) but it is about showing your care and making an effort - big ones or little ones.
<3 snuggles and kisses - i think this is the main thing I miss about being single.
<3 being responsive to your mood - giving you a hug, telling you a joke, or just listening when you need it
<3 little surprises and gifts - a flower filched from someones front garden for no particular reason is just as romantic, if not more, then a giant bouquet
<3 compliments. i think this is essential. everyone needs an ego boost. boys - if a girl has made any sort of an effort compliment them. if something looks different about them ask them if they've had their hair done (better safe then sorry!)
<3 putting you first every now and then - making someone feel like a princess.
<3 asking your opinion - even if you've already made your mind up it makes someone feel like they're important to you if you ask to here their views on something.
<3 being open and honest with them. having an open, honest frank conversation about anything is good.
see really i'm not a v high maintenance girlfriend. Romance to me would be a guy who'd once in a while let me pick the movie (and not complain through it) let me pick the pizza, bring a bottle of wine, and generally be human! |
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[Aug. 11th, 2008|07:30 pm] |
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in work till midnight - not funny - will prob post later though! |
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[Aug. 10th, 2008|11:39 am] |
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also i got an overwhelming urge on the train home to, one day, cut my hair short, like pixie short - thoughts please?! |
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[Aug. 10th, 2008|11:32 am] |
hmmm livejournal is acting very oddly today. I think poor steve really is on his last legs. today I'm going to go buy disks and back everything up and then wipe him clean, screw him back together and hopefully he'll be all good. fingers crossed.
anyway yesterday i got up early(ish) and jumped on a train to Canterbury to meet dan.
we had about 10 mins of good weather, watching ducks on the grass in westgate gardens with some wine before having to scuttle under a big tree when the rain started. we spent the day wandering from junkfood to pub to pub to more junkfood and more pubs. was great to catch up with him though i think he may have taken some truly heinous photos! anyway we spent some time putting the world to rights as you do.
i'm still feeling really drained though. I went drinking with Louis on thursday and i swear i'm still hungover. i know i don't drink enought straight liquids, too much cola and not enough water. I think 10 years plus of dehydration is catching up with me. |
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[Aug. 4th, 2008|08:41 am] |
last night was the first time in almost a year that i had a little sniffle about being single. which i blame partly on the fact that i was tired after two q heavy nights. and i hadn't even been spending time with jo n' jackson which is what usuaully gets me into this kind of a mood. I guess it was a combination of spending saturday with so many couples (though lesbians so, to go for a generalisation they'll probably be more stress then they're worth!) and talking with Matt about his relationship wih Georgina and how he wishes they could be the perfect couple if only he was straight. and also hugging up to Matt. totally in a friend way obv but i wished I could have that in a relationship. I basically want snuggles.
anyway i bumped into tom on the way home on friday and was expecting to have a nice chat while we walked to the station but he was in a foul mood and slipped off to the offie asap to get himself some beer. i wasn't offended at all. I know tom and know that if he's not putting a brave face on it then he must genuinely be naffed off.
so last night i went to bed and there was tom online. We had a bit of a chat. tom being a bit of a closed book didn't openly tell me whats up save that he has v ill grandparent (which he describes as the tip of the iceturd - so you know if a close family member dying is just the tip the boys not having a good time of it.) i think he also has girl issues (which for tom usually means he fancies a girl who clearly knows this, doesn't feel the same back but takes advantage of this), is stressed at work among other secrets.
sometimes i think toms attitude of "fuck the lot of you" is a brilliant way to go - i suscribe to elements of it myself. not giving a fig for what other people think is one i like. I don't so much like his one-strike-and-you're-out rule. He's told me that I have come close to this before which is scary. I don't think i could go for such an open and closed method to friendship. even if i could I know i couldn't maintain it, i'm a sap!
there seems to be a lot of shit floating around atm. I don't know I just keep hearing heartbreaking stories; a close friend of mine from home's mum died last week. I didn't know any of it so I'm really looking forward to seeing her next weekend and giving her a big hug. George's dad is still in the hospital. I heard one of my ex colleagues, who's had a pretty rough year after splitting from her british husband and moving back to missouri (which is good - she hated brighton!) has now discovered her mum's not got too much longer left either.
anyway in short i'm not feeling too peppy atm |
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[Jul. 31st, 2008|02:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  horny | ] |
of my last 7 posts I have not had anyone comment *sulk* ah well i guess i haven't posted much of interest for a while.
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) macramedildo's post has made me think about licking boys necks. *dreams of delicious boys* |
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[Jul. 30th, 2008|01:46 pm] |
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Looking forward to liamhsiemllac's first proper post in a long time ... |
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