Ok, so Holi, Sasha and I are all trying to move in with each other. Those two out of their crappy ass apartment and me out of my Dad's house.
Things haven't been going well on the front of us getting an apartment for several crappy reasons. One being that we're all 20 years old and people don't really want to rent to three 20 year olds. Another bad thing being that two of us don't have credit and the one of us that does have credit has bad credit (Through no fault of her own) and it's throwing us off. Also me not having a job is fucking things up as well. I am still looking and I'll tell you about an interview I had last night in a bit.
Another thing that's killing us are application fees. You have to put in an application for some places or reality agencies so that they can do a credit check and the fees are just crappy. $20 an application. And I don't mean a set of applications, I mean $20 a person. And we all HAVE to put in an application, so $60 all together. I have no money, Sasha and Holi's money needs to go to paying the rent on their crappy apartment. >_< GAH! I'm just hating this, it's finally starting to stress me out and we've been at it for about two weeks.
I've been calling around like a mad woman and it's just doesn't seem to be doing any good. Though, there is this one place that we all fell in love with, but the rent is $975 and for some reason I'm really afraid that we wont be able to afford it. I know it's only $325 a person but, still... I just have a bad feeling that I can't really express because we all love that place SO much. >_< It's just not fucking fair. And the reality company who is handling renting that place has one of those damn $20 a person application fees.
Plus the fact that there's like $250 dollar deposit for each of out cats, mine and Sasha's X< I can leave my cat at my dad's place until I can come up with the money but Sasha has no place to keep hers. And besides, I don't want to have to leave my baby behind.
On top of talking to a crap load of people who really seem to just want to make my life even more stressed and crappy that it already is I have to worry about my sister, her boyfriend, my cat, my dad (he's going through some medical crap right now and for some reason that I can't figure out I care), moving, getting my licsense, getting a car, getting insurance, packing my room, cleaning out mom's room finally (so much stress and just bad feelings tacked on to that chore), a yard sale that's being planned, money, a job and selling my Cadillac. I'm just not in a good place right now emotionally. I need a break but I can't afford a break. I'm only 19 and I feel like I'm 29 instead. I hate this. I'm tired of growing up, can I be 9 again?
Today was kinda a break, didn't call too many people cause most reality places were closed today.
And looking for a job is going about as well as looking for an apartment is. It's fucking impossible to find a place to work in this town. I've been putting in applications and then some more applications. Online and in person. I've even been putting in applications to places I said I would NEVER work at (Taco Bell) because I need to money and the job.
Now... on the topic of jobs... I went to an interview last night and I really want to job but there's no way I'm going to take it probably. Just hear me out, I have to job if I want it but I probably wont take it.
It's a traveling job. I would be traveling with a bunch of people who sell a product to commercial companies across the country. We all go together so me not having my license yet isn't really a problem. There's month trial and I get paid on commissions. The only expenses I would have would be paying for my food for the day, gas money and splitting a hotel bill. I would get to travel. Everywhere in the US. This company goes all the way across the country, California, Florida, Washington, Maine and everywhere inbetween. I love traveling, I've always wanted to travel it would be a wonderful opportunity.
Now... here's the downside and what will probably make me not do it. I would be gone a year. A solid year, maybe a couple months shy. If I want to go home anytime in that year, too bad, I sign a contract. There's a month trial period to see if it's even something I would want to do or to see if I'm any good at it, and I would do that but I have too much shit going on right now that I just can't drop. Like moving, Holi and Sasha are depending on me to be that 3rd room mate, I can't just ditch them. And I would miss the hell out of them, and my cat, and my brother and sister. I would worry like crazy about all of them and they would worry about me.
I want to do this so bad, it sounds like something I would like and the woman who interviewed me was FUCKING. AWESOME. They have a lot of fun, it's like a family unit... I just... I really want to do it, but I probably can't. The woman I talked to yesterday is supposed to call me back tonight and talk to me, that's how long I have to decide. A day. My interview was yesterday, I have to decide today. I've got a few questions I want to ask her and I might still be able to do it, but I wouldn't hold my breath.
So yeah. That's my life right now. Someone bash me in the skull please.
~Esther
This is a quiz thing I saw on ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
tigerlantern's journal and I stoles.
| You Are The Chariot |
You represent a difficult battle, and a well-deserved victory.
You tend to struggle to get what you want, both internally and externally.
You excel at controlling opposing forces, getting down the same path.
In the end, you bring glory and success - using pure will to move forward.
Your fortune:
There is great conflict in your life right now, either with yourself or others.
You must find a solution to this conflict, which is likely to be a "middle road" between the two forces.
You posses the skills to triumph over these struggles, as long as your will is strong.
You are transforming your inner self, building a better foundation for future successes. |
