Trisha

12:46PM - Miserable..RANT

I have been work at the hell I call PEAK parent center for over a year now. It is an all women office, and it is probably the most unhealthy environment I have ever worked in. Although I a qualified to do just about every thing the office, I am not trusted to do more than answer the phones and input database material. The would rather hire a temp then have me file finanicals, which is dangerous because the temp does not have to sign a discolsure statement, where i do...

This is an email i received from my supervisor today...These rules apply on to the adminstrative staff (about three of us, and to the entire office)PEAK

Ground Rules…remember these? Here’s a refresher on the PEAK ground rules we developed at the staff retreat last fall. We hope that every staff member is incorporating these into their work and is also helping support co-workers in honoring them.
• Allow everyone to finish speaking- no interruptions
• Candid communication- respectfully, openness, authentic, ask others
• Okay to disagree
• Listen first for understanding; listen second for responding. Write down questions
• Use “I” communication
• Limit side conversations. Ask questions to people directly involved
• Participate at your comfort level
• Start on time
• Freedom to re-visit previous conversations even if the conversation has moved on
• Question, challenge to understand more
• No dumb questions
• Define acronyms
• Share your “stories” and own them
They basically know how unhappy most of the staff is, most of us are actively looking for other jobs, but with the economy in colorado springs we are stuck in a private hell.
Further more the email states we need to conserve supplies, and cut back hours which is why i am home early. The problem is that their is a budget for everyone else but the executive director...who spends money as she pleases...did mention that this is a non profit mainly funded by the Colorado Department of Education...it just makes me sick...i need to find somehting that I can do from home or babysitting...

It is hard with my school schedule, and that is why I stay...but it is not worth it to me anymore...I am tired of feeling worthless...I am tired of not being trusted and watched most of the day....I am tired of being talked down to and snapped at...

6:33PM - I survived

So we had our first really bad snow storm this past tuesday/wed.,It was only suppose to snow an inch- I woke up to 6 inches, my car froze shut-i tried several things and could not get any door open, Shane tried to open it too (I woke him up to help) and still we couldn't get it open. (mind you this all between the hours of 6:30-7:30am)I then had to catch a ride from my neighbor to class, it took us another half an hour to de-ice her car, which was a show to watch in itself. Finally we get on the road and it takes another 1/2 hour to go 4 miles to get school because the roads were so bad. It was chore to turn on to campus. Fastfoward to the next day, the snow is almost melted and it is in the 50s again and sunny.

5:41PM - Latest news

Well, Shane and I are moving in together at the end of the month. Which is completely crazy to even believe for me and most of you to say the least. Thankfully mother is very supportive of it, and wishes it would happen already.

School is pretty good. It is more the extra curricula activities that are stressing me out. Working two jobs isn't fun, it usually means only one day to myself. Although i will probably be volunteering at hospice starting oct/nov and hope to do my practium there.

Today it is very chilly here, but when the gray cleared this morning the mountains were absolutely beautiful with white caps, it literally took my breath away. I will take pictures and post on facebook soon. This weekend it is suppose to snow around the area just a little but the mountains are getting 10-15" so pretty soon i will be learning winter sports :)

I am almost positive that I will not be coming home for the holidays which is a first for me. The jobs won't give me time off, and truthfully I can't afford it. So i will be decorating my house and baking cookies and what not for shane and me...It is crazy that we are approaching our one year anniversary. He finally vebralized that he loved me after I spoiled him rotten for his birthday, so we are doing pretty good to say the least.

4:18PM - Colorado Resident

Today, after sitting in DMV hell for 2 hours plus, I became an official colorado resident...I am not sure how i feel about this...

9:19PM - Alone

I just got home from helping Shane pack for his trip last minute trip to Montana. He is off to his grandmother's funeral, and I can't go with him do to work commitment and with classes starting on Monday. Now I think I it is going to hit me that I am 3000 miles away from my support system. That there is no one to go to friday night dinners with, or get called first thing in the morning to tell me a random stories,people who know my history,etc... Things have just fallen into place since I got here...but it is going to be a rough week that is for sure...

7:04PM

Robot You are 71% Rational, 42% Extroverted, 42% Brutal, and 14% Arrogant.

You are the Robot! You are characterized by your rationality. In fact, this is really ALL you are characterized by. Like a cold, heartless machine, you are so logical and unemotional that you scarcely seem human. For instance, you are very humble and don't bother thinking of your own interests, you are very gentle and lack emotion, and you are also very introverted and introspective. You may have noticed that these traits are just as applicable to your laptop as they are to a human being. You are not like the robots they show in the movies. Movie robots are make-believe, because they always get all personable and likeable after being struck by lightning, or they are cold, cruel killing machines. In all reality, though, you are much more boring than all that. Real robots just sit there, doing their stupid jobs, and doing little else. If you get struck by lightning, you won't develop a winning personality and heart of gold. (Robots don't have hearts, silly, and if they did, they would probably be made of steel, not gold.) You also won't be likely to terrorize humanity by becoming an ultra-violent killing machine sent into the past to kill the mother of a child who will lead a rebellion against machines, because that movie was dumb as hell, and because real robots don't kill--they horribly maim at best, and they don't even do that on purpose. Real robots are boringly kind and all too rarely try to kill people. In all my years, my laptop has only attacked me once, and that was only because my brother threw it at me. In short, your personality defect is that you don't really HAVE a personality. You are one of those annoying, super-logical people that never gets upset or flustered. Unless, of course, you short circuit. Or if someone throws a pie at you. Pies sure are delicious. To put it less negatively: 1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive. 2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted. 3. You are more GENTLE than brutal. 4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant. Compatibility: Your exact opposite is the Class Clown. Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hand-Raiser, the Emo Kid, and the Haughty Intellectual. * * If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits. The other personality types: The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble. The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant. The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble. The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant. The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble. The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant. The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble. The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant. The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble. The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant. The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble. The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant. The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble. The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant. The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble. The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant. Be sure to take my Sublime Philosophical Crap Test if you are interested in taking a slightly more intellectual test that has just as many insane ramblings as this one does!

10:47PM

I am officially a Colorado Springs resident, email me if you want my new address or want to visit me...

9:44AM

the Provacateur (66% dark, 34% spontaneous, 47% vulgar)

your humor style: VULGAR | COMPLEX | DARK You'll crack on anything, and you're often witty, even caustic, about it. Therefore, your sense of humor is polarizing. You're transgressive, and you've got a seriously sharp 'edge'--maybe too much for some folks. If they get you, people think you're one of the funniest (and smartest) people in the world. If they don't, they think you're an ass. Whatever, right? While some might question your judgement, your comic intellect is unquestionably respected. PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Chris Rock - Lenny Bruce - George Carlin The 3-Variable Funny Test! - it rules - If you're interested, try my best friend's best test: The Genghis Khan Genetic Fitness Masterpiece

12:29PM - the irony of my life continues

Today I received the letter via email. Inviting me to start my orienation for the State Department. I would be reporting to duty on July 10th. I have been waiting over a year for this too happen. It is the last thing I expected today, after I let everyone know that my last day would be May 3. I have a lot of things to think about in a weeks time. Taking this job means alot of things about my life will be changing. I will be saying good bye to everyone I love to travel the world and do what I have always said I wanted to do. A part of me is extremely excited another part of me is wondering which is the right decision to make. All input is appreicated.

12:59PM - irony is life

I truely believe that everyone comes into your life for a reason.

I heard from Tennesse yesterday and did not get in and I still have an interview scheduled for Mississippi but unless they offer me an scholarship I am not going there.

I go colorado in two weeks to go to orientation and look for housing. I should be extremely neverous, but I am not. I feel i am making the right decision. Even though my boyfriend received orders to change posts and is being transferred to Arizona. He was not a factor in my choice to begin with for several reasons, but he was an added bouns to the area. I offically don't know anyone in the area but that does not worry me either. He is extremely upset right now over it, which makes my move difficult, but it is nothing either of us can control. Like i said previouslly, I believe everyone comes in our lives for a reason. But we are the ones who choose to keep people in our lives.

This post doesn't make much sense, but I feel all over the place right now...

9:30AM

I got into the University of Colorado, Colorado Springs. I have orienation May 4, 2006. I will probably be moving there the following week, my classes start June 4...

What I need to do:

1. Pack up my room
2. Find a place to live
3. Buy snow tires
4. Buy furinure for my new place to live
5. Find a part time job
6. Drive across country
7. Work at my current job until the end of April.
8. Try not to get overwhelmed

Current mood: anxious

2:28PM - I think that this is more fitting than you can even image

There's something you can do now that will add to both your emotional and financial security. It might be taking a class (which you've probably been thinking about a lot lately) or moving to a place that better suits your needs. It might also be making a change in a relationship status. Regardless of which life department you choose to change, you know what you need to do, and you know you need to do it now. Get busy. The future is waiting.

12:38PM

I just feel really lost right now...It is like I know who I am and where I want to go...but having to fight, kick, and scream to get there...and constantly reminding myself that it is worth it is the extremely hard part.

12:35PM - Good Girlfriend award

After one week and two days, of not being able to talk to Shane since he was in the field. I received the good girlfriend award for not being one of the girlfriends who called non-stop since they were allowed to have their cellphones (in case of emergency). Although he did receive several text messages from me, but that is how we communicated while his was in the field. I informed him, that yesterday was the last day I could have handled not talking to him. He laughed at me, and called me cute...it made me really consider, if I can handle this type of relationship...what happens when he goes back to Iraq and we may not have communication for weeks at a time? Sigh, I really like him :)

I also got a surprise from Kristin informing me that if I needed a plus one for the wedding, that she would allow me a plus one, so people would finally get to meet him...

12:44PM

My friend's therapist called me the sarcastic friend...I find amusing that someone who has never meet me finds me sarcastic... :)

11:15AM

The sun shines not on us but in us.

10:08AM

Just so everyone knows I am in a wonderful mood, I was just thinking out loud in the last entry, it was especially for people who have chatted with me in the last two weeks.

10:06AM - Farewell to Meredith

Last night we said farewell to Meredith as she starts her voyage to Colorado, and probably to figure out who she is a little more…I was trying to pin point the reason why I was so upset over it...I mean I should be extremely excited for her, and only a little sad that she is leaving because to be truthful we don’t see each other often, it is just knowing she is there. Ok, getting to the point why it caused me to spiral into a some what depression. She is one of the few friends who has known me through, and helped me through the most difficult times in my life. When dad was sick, I spent a lot of time at the Solin household. She is one of the few who actually knows my dad, remembers him, and understands why some things are so hard for me. I remember her at the funeral, with her family, I remember her coming over my house the week he passed. She knows my history and I don’t have to tell her, she understands my moods and doesn’t take it personally, and her leaving was like take a security blanket away from me that I didn’t realize was there. Coming so close to the anniversary probably didn’t help either, each year seems to get more difficult and easy in a different ways because I have a harder time remembering what he looks like, facial expressions he use to make, the sound of his laugh/voice, the pep talks I use to get…I don’t have a difficult time talking about his death, dealing with it, or remembering how much he loved me , it is just hard missing someone you know will never see again…

Current mood: contemplative

Current music: Anna begins- counting crows

5:09PM

having loneliness pains...

3:58PM - a new aspect to my job description

You can now add official water filter changer to my job description at RLC Architects…only semi soaked from this experience but am very scared

the highlights

1. make sure to turn off all water values or you will be sprayed with water.

2. yanking at the tubes with all your might will not make them budge

-must be creative and figure out the value, that magically makes them pop out

3. close eyes when disconnecting old filter, and ignore slime you are touching because you my have gag reflexes…

4. bat eyes and show leg, to have boy complete task next time