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~~Tsurara Mai~~I just didn't have any feelings for the uninteresting reality

the GazettE

7/27/08 06:25 pm

It is with great sadness and an extremely heavy heart that I have to tell you we lost my dad on Monday, 7/21/2008, at about 1:35 PM as the result of complications from a stroke. This past week has just been a whirlwind of things to do and I can honestly say that I broke down several times, but I will get through this. My dad's entire family has been with us every step of the way and we are so blessed to have them. I thank all of you for your thoughts, prayers, cards and kind words. You are all so very caring and I cannot tell you how much you are appreciated. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers - that is all we need at this time. His vigil was held on Thursday evening and his funeral, burial and reception on Friday with an incredible outpouring of guests (family, friends, coworkers) and support.

At age 16, my father was diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia. He was on the brink of death until a pair of doctors suggested a bone marrow transplant from his identical twin and was taken to Seattle, WA for the procedure. He was subjected to lethal doses of radiation and chemotherapy before the transplant could take place. Unfortunately, that was not the end of his medical problems. Although the transplant was a success, both he and my uncle contracted hepatitis C through a contaminated transplant machine. Both since 1972, both have been battling this disease through varying doses of interferon and other medications with my uncle beating the disease in 2005. Since my father had been a transplant recipient, his immune system was compromised and continued to fight it. On July 11, 2008, my father woke in the middle of the night complaining of extreme dizziness, was rushed to the hospital by ambulance and it was determined that he had suffered a cerebellar hemorrhage. He was transported to another hospital for surgery to remove the clot but continued to bleed post surgery and never regained consciousness. He passed away 10 days later at the age of 52.

My dad was not just my father, he was my role model, teacher and above all, my friend. My father has always been my inspiration. He taught me that it was OK to not always be the best but to just give it my all, to make the best of things when you are constantly ill and to understand that others may have it worse, to take the time to smell the roses in life, that you have to be persistent if you want anything out of life, and that miracles happen. He also gave me my love for fish and other animals, artwork, and guitar. One of our longest running jokes was that my father was to blame for my love of fish and the reason why we have 5 aquariums, bowls and a pond. I miss him so much. Thanks for everything, Dad. Love you...

7/13/08 04:32 pm

I know I've already sent this to a few of you but I thought I'd re -send it and update. It's really hard for me to put this any other way but my father had a very serious stroke (a cerebellar hemorrhage) at 1:30 AM on 7/11/08 and was transferred from San Ramon Regional Hospital to Eden Hospital in Castro Valley so they could perform emergency surgery. He's been unconscious since surgery and has a shunt in his head that is draining cerebral spinal fluid due to hydrocephalus (a swelling of the brain ventricles) and on a breathing tube. He had complications regarding his clotting factor during surgery due to Hepatitis C so he had to be transfused with platelets to help him clot. Unfortunately, he continued to bleed post surgery and it has created serious problems with his brain stem. He isn't expected to regain consciousness and his prognosis is the worst case scenario. I hate to ask anything of people but if you could all say a prayer for him, I would be so very appreciative.

Due to this, I will most likely not be online much to talk. I've been running on next to no sleep (I've slept 8 hours since Wednesday morning) and will be going back and fourth to the hospital and trying to get stuff done at home. Also, please do NOT call me. My phone number has been given to the hospital and will be called if additional authorization is needed for anything so the line cannot be tied up. Just wanted to let you know...

1/26/08 03:56 pm

Gazette/the GazettE's new PV Guren. I'm not that big of a fan of the first part. The mute guitar isn't my thing but it starts getting good about 1/3 of the way in. It brings a new meaning to the meaningless art people showed. It's also a reference to the cover of their newest full-length album, Stacked Rubbish.

11/16/07 09:22 am

Hey all. Long time no post. Things have been really busy lately and I really haven't had any "me time". So hectic and I'm REALLY looking forward to Thanksgiving, although I only get 2 days off from school and one day off from work (I'll be working from 9-7 on that Friday).

Interesting things of note:

Last weekend I went to my second koi show but was not victorious like I was last time. I didn't come home with anything. Last year, I won a 15+ inch koi at an auction for $5 but there was nothing going for that cheap this year. Two 22 inch koi went for $25 each but they were just too big. The one I wanted was a nice 10 inch Shusui but it started at $50 and didn't go down in price...At least I saved money.

Speaking of saving money, I will really need to do so since I signed onto going to Las Vegas on MLK weekend with friends. It's been a LONG time since I've been there so it'll be cool to see what it looks like now. I'm really concerned about the flight because I am scared of flying. It's not that I'm afraid of heights, I'm afraid of crashing. It's been such a long time and I've had horrible nightmares about flying and plane crashes.

I found out this morning that Gazette will be releasing their new single, Guren, about a week after my birthday next year. That makes me happy. Last year, Hyena was released the day after my birthday.

I need a haircut. It hasn't been cut since May (for Fanime) and the layers/feathering has all grown out (you can still see some though). I don't know where and when I'll have the time to do it. My hairdresser left where I got my hair done and I can't find her. The guy I used to get my hair done from has been out due to family issues and has left his girlfriend to do his clients hair. She has been cutting my mother's and my mom hasn't been all that impressed. Not the best cut for such a high price. I've been thinking on and off of getting some subtle highlights but am alwasy turned off by both the price of the process, having to get them touched up, and the fact that my hair quality isn't that great and might get damaged. I used to have highlights. My hair has been so many different shades (natural, natural with highlights, chocolate brown, chocolate brown with thick highlights, chocolate brown with thin highlights, ash, red).

10/30/07 08:14 pm

A horrible day is finally ALMOST over.

To start the day I was nearly late to class because of a garbage spill on the highway, blocking all of the lanes. Then during my Biomechanics lab, I find out that I might not be able to graduate in the winter because the STUPID department schedules 2 of the most needed courses at the SAME TIME!!! I don't know if they'll change it or not but myself and some other students expressed our concerns. After that, the day just kept getting worse. On my way to my car, I was nearly hit crossing in the crosswalk. The car missed me by 1.5 feet! Luckily, there was a campus police cruiser who saw what happened and pulled the guy over. When it came time for work, I wasn't really feeling too great (I got a headache during my last hour). When I came home, I finally got to sit down and do some homework but that was shortlived. There was a large earthquake (5.6 magnitude).

What a FANTABULOUS DAY!

Here's the USGS website that shows the earthquake.
http://quake.wr.usgs.gov/recenteqs/Maps/122-38.html

10/29/07 08:51 am

Well things have been busy, leaving me hardly any time to myself. School, work, and related things have been taking the brunt of my free time. It's overwhelming at times but enough of that for now.

On Friday afternoon, Hip_Cyclobutane, my dog and myself went over Cal High to see the homecoming parade complete with terrible floats. Their theme was the word "under" so there was "Under the Bed", "Under the Big Top", "Wunderland", and something that we couldn't figure out for the life of us. The floats, at best, were laughable. It looked as if they had been slapped together at the last minute. I just remember with our classes how the float builders (the in-crowd) would never as anyone other than their friends to help out and year after year it was horrible. We got last place every year except our senior year. That time we got second place (which was really a pitty prize). It probably would have been nice if they had included other people who are actually artistic and imaginative.

HC and I got together again on Saturday night and talked about different things, mostly about her getting a fish tank. Yesterday was spent duing homework, studying, and getting other related things together...

On a completely unrelated note, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday this one guy sits in front of me. If it were any other guy I'd be OK but I've had him in alot of my classes. Don't get me wrong, he's really nice but I can't help but get distracted by his hair...it's cut the SAME way as mine and feathered out! To make me more distracted, he's Japanese (his name is Kensuke) and has it dyed a lightist brown. It's like Uruha is sitting in front of me...

On a related note to my last paragraph, here are some clips from the GazettE's Decomposition Beauty tour:

Crucify Sorrow (which sounds AWESOME in my car!)

10/23/07 09:08 am

I've been so busy since the fall quarter started. As a matter of fact, I'm writing this from my college's library bright and early in the morning while I try to do some research because my early class was cancelled. Heh, to think I'd be using this 2 hour block of precious free time to research. I've drawn very little (considering my history) because of my work and school load but I'll post something as soon as I can. It seems that all I do is school and work. Ah such is life but I need a break!!

I'll write more when I can. Back to research! T_T

5/18/07 03:40 pm - *insert psycho music here*

I've just found 6 bees in my house...

5/7/07 11:39 am

During my trip to Tahoe, I did some musical reminiscence. I thought about my favorite high school bands and those who've known me the longest know which was my absolute favorite. When I got home, I decided to watch their videos on YouTube and remember the old days. I think this band was the pathway for me into the world of J-rock. I loved their style and sound.

Read more... )

4/22/07 04:51 pm

For the 4th year in a row, I've missed the Cherry Blossom Festival in SF. I never find out about it until the last day (like today) or completely after it happens. I wasnt able to go anyway this year because of studying and I'd have no one to go with. I've never been to it before.

3/1/07 09:31 pm

Yet another earthquake this evening. This time its labeled at a 4.2 but they said it could be upgraded to possiblt a 5 once USGS has more info on it. I had some head pressure today but thought nothing of it because I've been so stressed lately. It started as a jolt but then started rolling. These just freak me out.

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2/23/07 09:31 pm

Just thought I'd note this. This was the soonest that I could get online this evening. While I was in physics lab this afternoon there was an earthquake. Luckily, I was finished taking data so nothing got screwed up. It got that nasty head pressure and then it hit. I found out after I got home that it was a 3.5. Not the bigest quake but when the Hayward fault runs right through campus, you tend to feel it more. Since that quake, there have been at least 2 more in my area with one being just a half hour or so ago.

To ease my mind...Gazette-luff
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2/13/07 09:08 am

At school right now. Weights just ended and I don't have another class until 10AM. I'm bored as usual...

A tidbit of interest...I SORT OF got the wireless router working at my house. Sort of.. It keeps kicking off. Something about a LAN and WLAN/WAN. I have no idea what that means. Anyone know or know what I can do to fix it? My mom has had to fix is 4 times since we put it in on Sunday. We had 2 power outages last night and it tripped it up yet again. I must learn how to fix it.

I need to go out after my class and find some sort of adhesive (probably tacky glue) to stick the rhinestones to my costume. I also need to figure out how to make the sleeveless coat thing too (the one Uruha wears in the Shadow PV). Any ideas? I've still yet to register for spring classes (I do it on Thursday) and don't know how my schedule will look so I want to get this costume done ASAP in case next quarter is hectic.

EDIT: I called AT&T this evening regarding my horrible connection and they told me it was my modum, they they said it was my router. THEN they asked me if both were anywhere near a lamp. Naturally, I have a ceiling lamp in the same room. They asked me if I could move the lamp. I said no because it's fixed to the ceiling. THEN they told me to move my router and modum away from the computer, perhaps to another room. That's kind of hard when they come with 3 feet cords. They wern't very nice either. Its like they expected me to just be able to adjust things their way. I'm normally a mild mannered person who doesn't enjoy getting angry but my blood was starting to boil. I'm pissed and considering switching to Comcast and I told them that. Does anyone know if AOL would be compatible on my computer if I did?

Gazette!!
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1/25/07 05:45 pm

While browsing of YouTube I found this and it made me think of old times. Weiß Kreuz (the original or Kapitel) still ranks up there on my list of favorite animes. I dislike the character designs for Gluhen (especially Yoji's) but I was happy to see that the last 1/4 of this AMV included footage of the Verbrechen und Strafe OVAs and the Tokyo Sling video which have the original character designs (Yoji's designs and outfit in the OVAs is my favorite!). I also like the song.



Photos:
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1/16/07 11:04 pm

As if the weather couldn't get any weirder...it's raining. Fantastic. It goes from 19 degrees to pouring... Hopefully, if this keeps up and the sky stays overcast it'll create an insulating blanket from the freezing cold so I won't have to fish out any more fish popsicles from my pond.

Had to run errands for mom tonight and realized that my side airbag light won't go off. I called the place where I get my car serviced and they said that they'd have to look at it. Problem is I can't be without a car. I have class everyday and 3 times a week have to drive to class twice. The car is running fine but I'm worried about the light. Why is it on? Is there a problem or did it just get stuck? I don't know...

More Gazette...as if you haven't already had enough today...
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1/14/07 12:12 pm - Gazette Centric

Despite having classes all day, I'm still really bored. I've been bored to the point where I've been searching across the internet and my J-rock magazines to find silly Gazette pictures. I think I'll attach a few every post. They're little so they shouldn't take over your friends list.

Supposedly, my favorite Gazette site will be off hiatus in March. Lets see if that happens. I've had such bad luck in the past with sites I like going on hiatus and never coming back (like Arcana, among others)

I just found the release date of their new single, Hyena. It's the day after my birthday. Meh...

Silly Gazette Photos:
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11/16/06 11:23 pm

This week has been LONG. Long as in uneventful and unexciting. Monday was going alright until I got out of my class that ends at 2:30 only to walk out in a torrential downpour. I had lab after that class for 2.5 hours and the storm only got stronger. By 5:10 it was dark and still stormy so I had to drive home in that, pulling my hair with frustration and nerves with all the traffic. It took me over an hour to drive 17 miles.

Tuesday went well, only swimming and tennis.

Wednesday started off with my first class being cancelled so I sat around for 50 minutes waiting for my microbiology lab. That took extra long because our cultures needed to incubate for over an hour. The last two classes went relatively quick.

Today got off to a late start with me not going to swimming because of illness. I did make it to tennis and physics lab which went well as usual. Studied when I got home for an anatomy exam, drew a little, watched "The Office", and worked on a fishtank. A quiet night at home. Nope, I didn't go out and wait for a PS3.

No big plans for this weekend. I think I'll just be chilling at home. The last 3 weekends have been spent in San Luis Obispo, Carmel and Tahoe. I think I'll try to get some sleep. Try being the key word.

9/25/06 10:08 am

I'm absolutely dying! On Saturday night, my DSL connection died and this was the soonest I could snag a laptop and plug it into a phonejack. My mom doesn't seem to be in any rush to have the problem sorted out so I have no idea how long it'll be until I have adequate internet access. I forgot how truly horrible dial-up is but it's my only way of access at this point since my mom doesn't want wireless (which I think we should get). I want my internet back so badly. I've been going crazy since it died and spent almost 2 hours trying to fix it but to no avail. Meh. I can't stay on too long because we got rid of our internet phone and I'm hooked up to the main home phone now.

Hoping for internet...and RP...

7/11/06 09:13 pm - My Anime Stuff

A HEAVILY updated list of my anime stuff. I bet I've even missed some stuff.

*=complete series

Read more... )

4/20/06 05:06 pm - Not Dead...At Least Not Yet...

It's been a while since my last entry. Not too terribly much has happened...nothing very interesting that is.

Easter was OK. The family came over for dinner and dessert. Once again, I hardly ate because I don't eat the kind of foods my extended family likes. I've learned that salad and applesause are my friends. The one perk: I didn't have to sit at the kiddy table!...but only because one of my aunts and uncles couldn't make it which was sad.

The rain has finally stopped but now it's very hot. Its gone from 50-60 degrees to up over 80 degrees! That's a little too much for me. I already have a sunburn (whoop-de-do...I have pastey white skin).

I've stopped biting my nails after how many years? That's a really good thing. Something less to be made fun of now. I don't want crazy long nails, nothing to hinder my daily activities but I definately don't want chewed up nubs.

2 fish have died, 2 small koi named Kujin and Kentou. This did not come as a surprise to me because these fish never fully recovered after my pond was poisoned by the run-off from all the rain.

The comic is coming along. I'm be over half way done! I work at a weird pace. I CANNOT leave a page unfinished and move onto another. Each page is sketched, darkened, inked, cleaned, and shaded before I begin another page. Sadly, there is no use of a computer while making this comic. I lack the programs and the talent (props to you all who have that talent or at least the basal skill of how to use the programs) to whip something up on the computer. Mine's all pencil, Sharpee, Copic, and felt pen. I have a very sore wrist...

In the art world, I do admit that I've been drawing a little while painstakingly trying to finish up my comic. I get overwhelmed if I spend too much time on one thing in a given time. There's an original ninja, an Orochimaru, a Tsurara Mai, and a TON of Koyuki pieces (when I did draw for the comic and then redrew them MUCH smaller...which is difficult, especially to ink such small details).

Well that seems to be it for now...ja nai!
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